Vampires! Witches! Velvet scrunchies!
Welcome, dear readers, to the 2019 Oscars!
Please, no loud noises or sudden movements. These stars have all suffered head injuries that caused them to believe they are attending the Oscars. They think they look amazing – and they would, on any other red carpet. But friends, the Met Gala is not the goddamn Oscars. (Though this year’s theme was a little more traditional-red-carpet friendly than previous years, I still can’t bring myself to put anyone in the Best Dressed post who didn’t really commit to the costume.)
“Basic Bitches at the Met Gala” has become a time-honored tradition here at Democracy Diva Headquarters. But 2018 blessed us with a Met Gala theme even boring stars could latch onto, with the mere addition of a cross necklace. So let’s dive into some unimaginative attempts at the theme – and no attempts at all!
Hey, the Globes were only like 45 news cycles ago. It’s not too late for fashion recaps!
Underwhelming models are a scourge on the red carpet, and nowhere are they more powerful than the Met Gala.
Time is of the essence, divas. Let’s do the Grammys quick and dirty..
My laptop is sort of working again! Let’s celebrate by continuing to be judgmental bitches!
It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
I swear, I’ll get this blog back to covering events that actually happened this month.