Welcome, dear readers, to the 2019 Oscars!

Best Dressed: BILLY PORTER
gown by Christian Siriano

Every emotion I went through when this iconic fashion moment occurred:

1. Rename the Oscars after Billy Porter.
2. I look forward to recapping the 2020 Billys, wherein Billy does several costume changes and gets Best Dressed in every post.
3. Is Billy Porter invited to the Met Gala?
4. SOMEONE MAKE SURE BILLY PORTER IS INVITED TO THE MET GALA.
5. IT’S CAMP-THEMED. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
6. Nothing else I see on the red carpet tonight will come anywhere close to this.

All of these emotions can also be summed up in this seven-second video:

When Glenn Close saw Billy Potter at the #oscars. She is all of us! 😍 pic.twitter.com/JcwLIhIa80

— Vauxhall_Tavern (@thervt) February 25, 2019

It should be noted that this is not merely everything I have ever wanted out of the red carpet. It’s also an homage to the recently-departed icon Hector Xtravaganza, known as the “grandfather of ballroom.” Phenomenal.

Runner-Up: CONSTANCE WU
gown by Atelier Versace, earrings by Swarovski

Give me ALL of that modern Belle realness, Constance. I am so fucking here for this.

Honorable Mention: JENNIFER LOPEZ
gown by Tom Ford, jewelry by Niwaka, purse by Tyler Ellis

It’s not the first mirror gown in J.Lo’s red carpet record, but it might be my favorite look of hers in several years. Hair, makeup, and earrings are also extremely on point.

NICHOLAS HOULT
suit by Christian Dior

Yes, Billy Porter makes every other man on earth look like a real amateur. But there were serious efforts amongst the gentlemen of the Oscars this year, and it was refreshing. Look at that gorgeous little skirted jacket. He looks like a sexy Malfoy cousin. In a good way.

AMY ADAMS
gown by Atelier Versace, jewelry by Cartier

Amy Adams always looks perfectly lovely, but rarely memorable. Dress like you’re taking home a trophy, Amy. It usually works. (It didn’t for Glenn Close, but you know what I mean.)

JENIFER LEWIS

I adore this. The futuristic neckline and big bedazzled shoulders make this feel like a Golden Girls-Star Trek crossover episode. (I don’t know if there’s a target audience for that, but if there is, I’m positive that audience also reads this blog.)

SERENA WILLIAMS
gown by Armani Privé, jewelry by Forevermark

Stunning. And the jewelry is spectacular, but I’d have added a necklace and lightened up the bracelets.

YALITZA APARICIO
gown by Rodarte

Soft, ethereal beauty.

CHARLIZE THERON
gown by Christian Dior, jewelry by Bulgari

The sleeves don’t work for me – from the square shoulder to the cuffs, they’re kind of a mess – and the bracelets aren’t helping. But it was fairly stunning from the back:

The darker hair is great, but the style’s a little flat.

SHANGELA
gown by Diego Montoya

An historic drag moment. My heart is so goddamn happy that Shangela is at the motherfucking OSCARS.

ADAM LAMBERT
tuxedo by Tom Ford, shirt by Alexander McQueen, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Cool cuffs; terrible shoes.

OLIVIA COLMAN
gown by Prada, jewelry by Chopard

Olivia’s acceptance speech was one of the highlights of the entire Oscars. The dress is a little less memorable, though.

MELISSA MCCARTHY
jumpsuit by Brandon Maxwell, jewelry by Forevermark

I think it needed either the cape or the long sleeves, but not both.

LINDA CARDELLINI
gown by Schiaparelli, shoes by Tamara Mellon

Points for effort, but she looks absolutely ridiculous. Honestly, I’m not sure any non-Rihanna human being alive could pull this off, with the possible exception of Billy Porter.

LETITIA WRIGHT
gown by Christian Dior

Pretty, but the color’s a bit of a snooze.

LAURA DERN
gown by Rodarte, jewelry by Harry Winston

Not a fan of this “not quite purple, not quite brown” thing.

EMMA STONE
gown and jewelry by Louis Vuitton

Is it like, a LIFETIME contract with Louis Vuitton? Emma’s had to suffer through these overworked, awkward LV looks for what feels like decades. Someone liberate her – and the rest of us – from this madness.

MAYA RUDOLPH
gown by Giambattista Valli

I like that going bold with pink statement gowns was a Thing at the Oscars this year. I just don’t think this one made a whole lot of sense. The print is Betsey Johnson, the ruffles are too damn much, and the earrings don’t work with the outfit.

Worst Dressed: EMILY DESCHANEL and ZOOEY DESCHANEL

What, I ask you, is even the point of being celebrity sisters if you let each other go to the Oscars with those hairstyles?!
—
© Democracy Diva, 2019.
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