March Fabness 2015: Sweet 16, Part 2

This bracket is already breaking my heart, you guys.

CAMILLA BELLE vs. CATE BLANCHETT

Camilla in Gucci; Cate in Schiaparelli

Camilla in Gucci; Cate in Schiaparelli

Camilla: Stop copying me.

Cate: Bitch, stop copying ME.

Camilla in Monique Lhuillier; Cate in Armani Privé

Camilla in Monique Lhuillier; Cate in Armani Privé

Camilla: Like I would even copy someone who’s pushing fifty.

Cate: Like would even copy someone who I’ve never fucking heard of.

Camilla in Gucci; Cate in McQueen

Camilla in Gucci; Cate in McQueen

Camilla: Oh, right. Like you’re not wearing the funky 70s grandma version of my dress right now?

Cate: No. You’re wearing the cheap mod knock-off of my dress right now.

Camilla in Schiaparelli; Cate in Armani Privé

Camilla in Schiaparelli; Cate in Armani Privé

Camilla: Well, at least we can agree on one thing.

Cate: That you’re tacky, and I’m infinitely more famous than you will ever be?

Camilla in Carolina Herrera; Cate in Givenchy

Camilla in Carolina Herrera; Cate in Givenchy

Camilla: No, actually, I was going to say something polite and respectful.

Cate: You really don’t understand trash talk, do you?

Camilla in Carolina Herrera; Cate in Valentino

Camilla in Carolina Herrera; Cate in Valentino

Camilla: “Trash talk,” Grandma? It’s “throwing shade” now. Learn about it.

Cate: You kids today. You’re just adorable.

LUPITA NYONG’O vs. ELIZABETH BANKS

Lupita in Fitriani; Elizabeth in Chloé

Lupita in Fitriani; Elizabeth in Chloé

Lupita: Now THIS is a fucking fashion battle.

Elizabeth: I almost feel bad for the voters, don’t you?

Lupita in Calvin Klein; Elizabeth in Monique Lhuillier

Lupita in Calvin Klein; Elizabeth in Monique Lhuillier

Lupita: I really do. I can’t even believe you can fit this much fabness into a single match-up.

Elizabeth: We defy physics, so infinite is our fabness.

Lupita in Chanel; Elizabeth in Roland Mouret

Lupita in Chanel; Elizabeth in Roland Mouret

Lupita: And also, come on. Who on earth is more likable than we are?

Elizabeth: Nobody! Except maybe Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Watson.

Lupita in Calvin Klein; Elizabeth in Leonard

Lupita in Calvin Klein; Elizabeth in Leonard

Lupita: Fair. But 30-something and 40-something women need imaginary celebrity best friends too.

Elizabeth: Hear, hear.

Lupita in Calvin Klein; Elizabeth in Elie Saab

Lupita in Calvin Klein; Elizabeth in Elie Saab

Lupita: I mean, look at us. Look at these textures.

Elizabeth: Your pearls, my beading – we are unstoppable forces of fabness.

Lupita in Elie Saab; Elizabeth in Elie Saab

Lupita in Elie Saab; Elizabeth in Elie Saab

Lupita: Let’s give them our best Elie Saab florals and call it a day.

Elizabeth: Amen. And let’s also get some brunch.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY vs. ZOE SALDANA

Keira in Huishan Zhang; Zoe in Altuzarra

Keira in Huishan Zhang; Zoe in Altuzarra

Keira: Congrats on the new baby, Zoe! You certainly set the red carpet on fire this year with your maternity style.

Zoe: And same to you, Keira. We really should have done a world tour together or something.

Keira in Dolce & Gabbana; Zoe in Roksanda

Keira in Dolce & Gabbana; Zoe in Roksanda

Keira: We both did excel in the art of masking our ever-so-slightly expanded tummies with florals.

Zoe: And forced-perspective cinched waists.

Keira in Delpozo; Zoe in Valentino

Keira in Delpozo; Zoe in Valentino

Keira: And we both opted to give our respective fetuses some extra breathing room in blue gowns.

Zoe: We look like fertility goddesses of the sea, Keira. I could not be more proud.

Keira in Erdem; Zoe in Nina Ricci

Keira in Erdem; Zoe in Nina Ricci

Keira: I love that we both know the importance of wearing purple during pregnancy.

Zoe: Duh! It’s the color of royalty, and you KNOW the babies we’re popping out are going to be royal as fuck.

Keira in Valentino; Zoe in Michael Kors

Keira in Valentino; Zoe in Michael Kors

Keira: You clearly know A) when to bring the drama and B) how to make a dress out of curtains like Mary Poppins.

Zoe: It’s skills like those that make me such a good mother, and generally fabulous person.

Keira in Valentino; Zoe in Atelier Versace

Keira in Valentino; Zoe in Atelier Versace

Keira: Amen. Let’s schedule a playdate for sometime after I give birth/announce to the public that I have already secretly given birth?

Zoe: It’s a date.

EMMA WATSON vs. EDDIE REDMAYNE

Emma in Dior; Eddie in Burberry Prorsum

Emma in Dior; Eddie in Burberry Prorsum

Emma: Eddie, darling! It’s so good to see you again.

Eddie: Oh, same to you, Emma. It’s been, what, four years since our My Week With Marilyn press tour?

Emma in BLK DNM/Dior; Eddie in Burberry

Emma in BLK DNM/Dior; Eddie in Burberry

Emma: Time flies, and you and I get more stylish with every passing day.

Eddie: And, let’s be honest, we were pretty damn stylish to begin with.

Emma in Misha Nonoo; Eddie in McQueen

Emma in Misha Nonoo; Eddie in McQueen

Emma: Well, you can’t blame other people for not being able to keep up with us, sartorially speaking.

Eddie: Exactly. We’re English, and we’re beautiful. How can mere mortals even compare?

Emma in Narciso Rodriguez; Eddie in McQueen

Emma in Narciso Rodriguez; Eddie in McQueen

Emma: They can’t. We’re basically the Will and Kate of the acting community.

Eddie: Oh, god, no. We’re MUCH more stylish than those two fuddy-duddies.

Emma in Dior; Eddie in Hardy Amies

Emma in Dior; Eddie in Hardy Amies

Emma: Another excellent point, my dear Mr. Redmayne.

Eddie: Why thank you, the ever-so-elegant Ms. Watson.

Emma in Ralph Lauren; Eddie in Gucci

Emma in Ralph Lauren; Eddie in Gucci

Emma: Now, don’t think all these niceties mean I’m not about to beat your ass into the ground, metaphorically speaking.

Eddie: I wouldn’t be so sure. If anyone can unseat Emma Watson, it’s the male version of Emma Watson.


© Democracy Diva, 2015.
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