IT’S THE FINAL COUNTDOOOOOWN! 

EMMA STONE vs. JENA MALONE

Emma in Sandro; Jena in Roksanda

Emma: Nice hair color. What, did you sneak into my penthouse and cut a lock of my hair off to give to your colorist?

Jena: Obviously not. That’s what personal assistants are for.

Emma in Giambattista Valli; Jena in Valentino

Emma: I didn’t realize you were famous enough to have a personal assistant.

Jena: Sorry that I go for indie roles, or small juicy parts in hugely popular blockbusters, instead of starring in yet another Spiderman reboot.

Emma in Monique Lhuillier; Jena in Ulyana Sergeenko

Emma: Screw you. Something’s got to pay for these clothes.

Jena: You mean these clothes, worth more than a car, that were given to us for free so that our mere existence could be a walking advertisement?

Emma in Dolce & Gabbana; Jena in Reem Acra

Emma: Fine, it’s not about the money. I just love Andrew Garfield so much –

Jena: Oh, please. Like that’s even a real relationship. You two are just the likable version of Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson.

Emma in Chanel; Jena in Emilia Wickstead

Emma: How dare you? Do you really think I’d wear matching coats with someone for a fake, just-for-the-media-attention relationship?

Jena: Uh, yeah, if those coats were free.

Emma in Dior; Jena in Adam Selman

Emma: Whatever. You’re just jealous because you don’t have the name recognition to win March Fabness.

Jena: First of all, I am so fucking fabulous that I could be a Z-list celebrity and still kick your ass.

Emma in Valentino; Jena in Emanuel Ungaro

Emma: Now, wait a –

Jena: And SECOND, you’ve forgotten something very crucial.

Emma in Lanvin; Jena in Thom Browne

Emma: Oh, and what’s that?

Jena: I’ve got the Hunger Games fandom on my side.

Emma in Atelier Versace; Jena in Emilio Pucci

Emma: So?

Jena: Do I even need to say it? The odds are ever in my favor, bitch.

—
© Democracy Diva, 2015.
. facebook . twitter . pinterest .