Welcome back to the film festival fashion fiesta, darlings.
PRAYA LUNDBERG at the Ash is the Purest White premiere
gown by Michael Cinco
A statement-making gown if there ever was one. And the statement it’s making is, “I am too fucking fabulous, and the rest of you mere mortals should be kissing the red carpet upon which I deign to walk.”
JOSEPHINE SKRIVER at the Chopard party
gown by Georges Hobeika, jewelry by Chopard
From the front, I thought this had a beachy glamour, but wasn’t particularly unique. The rear view shut me up, though:
The straps are stunning, particularly with those earrings. I’m slightly confused by the way that fabric hangs in the back, but this is beautiful enough that I don’t quite care.
SUI HE at the Chopard party
gown by Oscar de la Renta, jewelry by Chopard
Love the cobalt, the ombre tulle, and the absolutely flawless gems.
LUPITA NYONG’O at the Chopard party
gown by Prada
Lupita in a princess gown is always a crowdpleaser, even if I’d hoped for something a little more memorable. Still, she’s one of the most fun people to watch on the red carpet, if only for moments like this:
Like a kid in a candy shop. Too adorable for words.
FAN BINGBING at the Ash is the Purest White premiere
gown by Alexis Mabille, jewelry by De Beers, purse by Edie Parker
It doesn’t work from every angle, but damn if it isn’t original as hell and breathtakingly glam. Now, let’s examine that thing on her shoulder:
Okay, it’s still a weird detail, but from the aerial view, I’m on board.
JASMINE TOOKES at the Chopard party
gown by Zuhair Murad
It’s not the first time we’ve seen this dress, and it won’t be the last. But Jasmine wears it damn well.
JULIANNE MOORE at the Chopard party
suit by Sonia Rykiel, jewelry by Chopard
The fit isn’t great, but the diamond trim paired with a boatload of Chopard jewels? Fantastic.
MARION COTILLARD at the Chopard party
gown by Valentino, necklace by Chopard
The silhouette is interesting and the necklace is to die for. Bonus: it has pockets.
BELLA HADID at the Ash is the Purest White premiere
gown by Dior, jewelry by Bulgari
Bella toned things down in this simple satin Dior, but I’m on board with this cleaner, more minimalist aesthetic on her. As long as that minimalism involves this many diamonds.
MING XI at the Chopard party
gown by Ermanno Scervino
Not the most imaginative dress on earth, but I’ll take it.
ELSA HOSK at the Chopard party
gown by Ralph & Russo, jewelry by Chopard
Well, she’s no Lupita when it comes to making fabric magically float around her. I think maybe Elsa just can’t handle this much dress. And I definitely can’t handle that half-pony she’s sporting.
EVA HERZIGOVA at the Ash is the Purest White premiere
gown by Dior, jewelry by DeBeers
The dress is fine; in true Cannes fashion, the jewelry is doing most of the heavy lifting.
AJA NAOMI KING at the Ash is the Purest White premiere
gown by Pamella Roland
Pretty but predictable.
IRINA SHAYK at the Chopard party
gown by Alberta Ferretti, jewelry by Chopard
The hair is way too casual for the rest of the outfit.
SARA SAMPAIO at the Chopard party
jewelry by Chopard
Are we sure this isn’t on backwards?
JOAN SMALLS at the Chopard party
gown by Miu Miu, jewelry by Chopard, shoes by Roger Vivier
We’ve seen the “giant bow as a bra” thing before, and it almost always looks a little dumb. Being a model, Joan can pull it off, but I still find it cartoonish and absurd, and not in a good way.
IZABEL GOULART at the Chopard party
dress by Julien Macdonald
Come on. It’s a glorified swimsuit.
DEEPIKA PADUKONE at the Ash is the Purest White premiere
gown by Ashi Studio, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, shoes by Aquazzura
You know I’m usually here for TOO FUCKING MUCH, but even I have to draw the line somewhere. I think it’s at these magenta satin heels, which should not exist after 1997.
ARAYA A. HARGATE at the Chopard party
gown by Zuhair Murad, jewelry by Chopard
The whole look feels a little dated. Didn’t we have a whole year of dresses like this by Zuhair, and by Naeem Khan, on the red carpet?
ARAYA A. HARGATE at the Ash is the Purest White premiere
jumpsuit by Ashi Studio, jewelry by Chopard
She looks like a giant bag of shredded mozzarella cheese. Or a marshmallow exploding in the microwave. Or a very, very elderly Muppet.
STELLA MAXWELL at the Chopard party
necklace by Chopard
Uh, I guess this is technically clothing?
KENDALL JENNER at the Chopard party
dress by Alexandre Vauthier, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I’m all for freeing the nipple, but couldn’t she free it in something less painfully basic?