BLAKE LIVELY // dress by Chanel, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Definitely my favorite Blake Lively look in recent memory. The hair is cute, the makeup even better. The earrings are gorgeous, but she needs to lose half the bracelets. (Coco Chanel tells us to take off one accessory before we leave the house, Blake. You should consider heeding her advice several times.) The dress itself is over-designed in the best way possible. There’s lots to look at, and it’s all pleasing to the eye, even if it’s a little much. I love the stockings and the shoes. But darling, that tacky blue nail polish is killing me. Lose it.
Should I bother using words, or should I just bow down to Anna Wintour? I mean, she was born for this look, complete with her favorite shoes and signature necklace.
EMMA STONE // dress by Chanel
The purse is too much, and the makeup is a little heavy, but this gown is all kinds of awesome. Busy as hell, from the print to the ruffles to the draping to the shoulder embellishment, but so stunning that if you nix any attention-grabbing accessories, it’s one hell of a look.
JOAN SMALLS // dress by Tom Ford
Sorry, Joan, but this has already been worn – much better, I might say – by both Emma Stone and Lady Gaga. If you’re going to wear something we’ve seen a few times before, it better be styled a hell of a lot better than this.
Boring. C’mon, Olivia, give us something to talk about!
ELIZABETH OLSEN // dress and shoes by Chanel
This dress is all wrong for her. The belt is way too high up, making her stomach look twice its actual size, and giving her no waist or hips whatsoever. And that asymmetrical hem looks like Dracula’s cape.
LARA STONE // dress by Calvin Klein
Try harder, darling. Head-to-toe paleness is not a look we love.
MIRANDA KERR // dress by Peter Pilotto, purse by Calvin Klein, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood
Oof. Stop trying so hard, darling. And your love of the ugliest Nicholas Kirkwood heels you can find is really getting exhausting.
DREW BARRYMORE // dress by Chanel
Whenever Drew Barrymore hits the red carpet, I just know she’s going to dress like a zany, hippie grandma. Clearly, I am right.
CHLOË MORETZ // top and pants by Chanel
She’s just so friggen adorable. I’d never wear any of this, but I would if I were a fourteen-year-old starlet.
SARAH JESSICA PARKER // gown and coat by Chanel
This gown was my Resort 2012 red carpet prediction for Clemence Poesy, and SJP is destroying it. What the fuck is going on with this giant coat-vest she’s wearing? I don’t care how expensive it is, it makes you look homeless. And that makeup is atrocious. I can’t believe there’s a licensed stylist alive who would let her leave the house like this. For shame, SJP’s Gays. For shame.