Half of Hollywood showed up to celebrate GQ‘s Men of the Year.
JESSICA BIEL // dress by Antonio Berardi

An embellished LBD isn’t exactly groundbreaking, but you can’t deny that this dress is adorable. Although the prevalence of black pumps at this event was a huge mistake – did no one know there would be a black carpet, and thus almost everyone at this event would look like they didn’t have feet? Anyway, I’d usually criticize the lazy hair, but at an event celebrating the boys, the ladies shouldn’t have to try TOO hard. Of course, the clown makeup is atrocious. I bet Justin was pissed that she left red lipstick marks all over his suit pants.

KERRY WASHINGTON// dress by Prabal Gurung

An adorable dress, but it’s one of those cuts that really makes you look like you’re wearing a tunic and no pants. Which I suppose she is. But I like the flapper style on a long-sleeved minidress, and her hair and makeup look beautiful.

JAIME KING // dress by Oscar de la Renta

Jaime. Please. Give up on the platinum hair. You look absurd, particularly with that uber-blunt haircut. And this is WAY too much dress for the GQ Awards. GQ requires effortless sexiness, not prissy, over-designed cocktail dresses.

ZOOEY DESCHANEL // shoes by Miu Miu

She always dresses like a child, which absolutely kills me. The conservatively cut dress with the pleated skirt, the stockings, the shoes that are every little girl’s fantasy – I’d just love to see Zooey dress like she’s more than eleven years old, for once.

ELISABETH MOSS // dress by Cushnie et Ochs

She’s in desperate need of accessories, but she looks bangin’ in this dress.  Love the cut-outs.

ALISON BRIE // dress by Mackage

Alison Brie is very close to the top of my celebrity lesbian fantasy list, in spite of the fact that she virtually never looks as good as she should on the red carpet. She’s a tiny Jewish girl with perfect tits and great comedy AND drama chops, so I’m always on her team. And though there’s nothing particularly offensive about this outfit, I just want her to wear something worthy of how fucking awesome she is. Also, #savecommunity.

EMMA ROBERTS // dress by ASOS

Emma, why don’t you ever take my advice about your hair? I know you spend most days obsessively reading Democracy Diva, searching for the bits of wisdom I direct at you, but my words seem to go in one ear and out the other. Your roots and tips should not be at opposite ends of a color wheel, darling. But thank you for bringing a much-needed pop of color to this particular red black carpet. That dress actually fits you perfectly and is event-appropriate.

NICOLE SCHERZINGER

You can always count on a Pussycat Doll to pull out the skintight black leather dress. It’s almost depressingly dark, and it’s tight to an unflattering degree – she looks like a drag queen with a leather fetish.

ANNA FARIS // dress by Preen

Dressing like a high school cheerleader in the 1950s is certainly one way to get the attention of the GQ Men of the Year. Also, I find myself once again recommending a darker hair color. Platinum looks good on almost no one above the age of five.

MINKA KELLY // dress by Versus, shoes by Brian Atwood

It’s not an LBD, so I guess I should be thankful for that. But I can’t really work up any compliments for this look. There’s a few too many unflattering design elements, like those hideous pockets (and I practically always love a dress with pockets) and that curved line over her tummy. And that cocktail ring looks like a leech.

LAKE BELL // dress by Andrew Gn

Okay, Lake Bell. You’ve shown enough cleavage that I’m paying attention to you. Are you happy now? You might want to consider losing the shoes, and the implants, and invest in a hair/makeup artist.

JUDY GREER

A lacy LBD with black pumps? I love me some Judy Greer, but, snooze.

COBIE SMULDERS

It’s less boring than most, even if it’s not particularly pretty. Hair and makeup are effortlessly gorgeous.

ALI LARTER

Are we really wearing belts tucked into wrap dresses now? Because I REFUSE to let that become a thing.

JAIME PRESSLEY

Right, like we haven’t seen this Herve Leger knockoff six thousand times before. She’d look much tinier in something less obnoxiously tight.

SARAH SILVERMAN

No, Sarah. No.

JAY-Z

Perfect.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

Almost obnoxiously nerdy.

JIMMY FALLON

Cute, but not loving the tie/shirt combo.

JOHN CHO // suit by Simon Spurr

The tie’s too wide, and I’m not sold on the shoes. But I do like being able to actually see the shoes against the black carpet. And he looks cute as hell.

KELLAN LUTZ

Nice suit, although he kind of looks like a brick wall.

CHRIS PINE // suit by Ralph Lauren

Phenomenal, in spite of the wide tie.

AARON PAUL

That sad little bow tie is killing me.

JON HAMM

Are there even words to describe this man? There are, but they’re too X-rated for this blog.

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© Democracy Diva, 2011.
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