DIANE KRUGER vs. EMMA STONE
Diane: Well, I suppose congratulations are in order – I hear you finally unseated little Hermione Granger!
Emma: Let’s face it – without a Harry Potter premiere, she just doesn’t have enough fabulous looks to compete with the likes of you and I, Diane.
Diane: Too true, Emma. Then again, what chance did any of them really have against us? Between my wardrobe at Cannes, and your Spider-man press tour, we were virtually ubiquitous on the red carpet this year.
Emma: I know. I’m exhausted just talking about it.
Diane: Well, I hate to say it, but you look it, darling. Exhausted, that is. At least, compared to me.
Emma: How dare you! I am nothing but glamorous, especially compared to you.
Diane: Sorry, I didn’t realize plastic shoes were glamorous. I thought those were reserved for strippers, actually.
Emma: Oh, and the disco balls attached to your feet are, what, classy?
Diane: You want class? You got it, bitch. What do you have in your closet that can defeat this delicate flower of a gown?
Diane: Well. A Chanel little white dress with short sleeves and an extra-wide skirt and a floral embellishment, worn with studded Loubs? Are you full-on stalking me now, or just stealing my wardrobe?
Emma: Bitch, please. I could ask you the same damn thing.
Diane: Right, except I wouldn’t be caught dead in velvet peep-toe platforms that perfectly match my little unitard.
Emma: Your loss, Diane, because I look amazing.
Diane: Honey, we’re not even in the same league. Even if you did look amazing – which, by the way, you didn’t – it’s still nothing compared to me.
Emma: Your purse is a giant domino. How do you expect me to take you seriously?
Diane: How’s this for serious? I’m dressed in liquid gold.
Emma: That sounds dangerous. Don’t get any of it on my adorable shoes, okay?
Diane: Whatever, Emma. It’s time to declare a winner, once and for all.
Emma: See you on the other side, bitch.