LUPITA NYONG’O vs. OLIVIA WILDE
LUPITA: Hello, Olivia, darling. How wonderful to see you here in Round 2!
OLIVIA: Yes, yes, it’s quite an achievement. I mean, it’s no Oscar, but –
LUPITA: What, this old thing? This heavy, beautiful statue I just won? It’s just something I had lying around.
OLIVIA: Look at my face. I’m giving you total “Bitch, please” face.
LUPITA: You’re just jealous of my Wonder Woman cuffs.
OLIVIA: To be fair, those are so fucking fabulous with that gown.
LUPITA: And I must say, your maternity style is utterly fantastic.
OLIVIA: Oh, we know. I mean, me and Jason Sudeikis? This fetus is already awesome.
LUPITA: Too true, Olivia. It was lovely fashion-battling with you today.
OLIVIA: Same to you, Lupita. Can I borrow your headband?
MIRANDA KERR vs. JESSICA ALBA
MIRANDA: *giggles* You call that street style? Girl, I am the undisputed QUEEN of street style.
JESSICA: I will fuck you up, Miranda. Don’t even start with me.
MIRANDA: I was just joking. Let’s try to look sweet and innocent in our little white dresses, shall we?
JESSICA: I’d prefer to look as if I sort of have to pee.
MIRANDA: Well, to each her own, I suppose. But at least you’re a woman who appreciates the power of a white clutch and white pumps.
JESSICA: As long as you have people to carry your coffee for you so that you don’t spill anything on them, they’re basically the best accessories ever.
MIRANDA: I couldn’t agree more. But I’m starting to think you’re just jacking my style.
JESSICA: I’m sorry, do you have a trademark on black lace?
MIRANDA: Um, copy my cut-outs much?
OLIVIA: I defy you to name a skinny-ass celebrity that did not wear cut-outs in the last year.
TAYLOR SWIFT vs. ZHANG ZIYI
TAYLOR: Hey, Zhang! Can I just say I love your little jacket?
ZHANG: Of course. I’ll let you borrow it, but not until I defeat you in this red carpet death-match.
TAYLOR: Um, that’s nice of you, I guess. What makes you so sure you’ll defeat me, anyway?
ZHANG: Have you seen me?
TAYLOR: Well, yeah, but I’m just saying, I’m actually pretty fabulous in my own right –
ZHANG: You think you can out-Disney princess ME? I’m wearing a gown that looks like little birds dressed me in clouds and flowers, and I have a fucking crown on my head.
TAYLOR: I don’t always dress like a Disney princess, you know. Look at this – it’s sexy!
ZHANG: Well, you can’t out-do me in a sexy black gown, either. You might as well give up now.
TAYLOR: I’m not accustomed to losing. I’m accustomed to winning, and then over-doing my “I’m so surprised!” face.
ZHANG: Well, darling, it’s time start working on your “humbly disappointed but supportive of my fellow nominee” face.
NICOLE KIDMAN vs. EMMY ROSSUM
NICOLE: Can we do this quickly, Emma? I have places to be.
EMMY: It’s Emmy, actually.
NICOLE: Hm, is it? I thought it was Emma. Aren’t you that girl from the Harry Potter movies?
EMMY: No, that’s Emma Watson. I’m Emmy Rossum.
NICOLE: Oh, yes, I knew I recognized you! You’re Julia Roberts’s niece!
EMMY: NO. That’s Emma ROBERTS. I’m EMMY ROSSUM.
NICOLE: Yes, sweet girl, of course you are. Now smile for the camera.
EMMY: I can’t believe you don’t even know who I am.
NICOLE: Oh, I know who you are. I just don’t care.
EMMY: YOU ARE THE ACTUAL WORST.