March Fabness 2014, Round 2: Dior and McQueen Brackets

It’s time to prioritize March Fabness over literally everything else in your life, dear readers. 

CATE BLANCHETT vs. DITA VON TEESE
Cate's dress by Fausto Puglisi; Dita's dress by Carolina Herrera, purse by Corto Moltedo, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Cate’s dress by Fausto Puglisi; Dita’s dress by Carolina Herrera, purse by Corto Moltedo, shoes by Christian Louboutin

CATE: I so do not have time for a fashion battle today. Can we just get this over with and crown me the winner already?

DITA: Do you see the massive stink-eye I’m giving you right now? What, you think winning an Oscar makes you automatically better than everyone else?

Cate's dress and belt by Roksanda Ilincic, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood

Cate’s dress and belt by Roksanda Ilincic, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood; Dita’s dress by John Galliano, sunglasses by Moschino, gloves by Fratelli Orsini, shoes by Christian Louboutin

CATE: No, of course not. But winning two Oscars does.

DITA: You don’t need any awards at all to dress like an old Hollywood movie star. I mean, have you seen me?

Cate's jacket and dress by Antonio Berardi, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Dita's gown by Rachel Pally

Cate’s jacket and dress by Antonio Berardi, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Dita’s gown by Rachel Pally

CATE: I have. And to be honest, I’m not particularly impressed.

DITA: No? Well, just wait until I kick your uptight little ass in this battle, and then we’ll see just how impressive I am.

Cate's gown by Prabal Gurung; Dita's gown by Carolina Herrera

Cate’s gown by Prabal Gurung; Dita’s gown by Carolina Herrera

CATE: I don’t think you understand who you’re dealing with. I’m wearing some sort of abstract watercolor silk bedsheet AND I STILL LOOK FUCKING AMAZING. You’re just not at a level where you can compete with the likes of me.

DITA: Hm? Sorry, I wasn’t listening. I’m too busy eye-fucking the shit out of this camera lens and practicing my signature “What, this old thing? Just something unstoppably fabulous that I had lying around” face.

Cate's gown by Armani Priv ; Dita's gown by Maria Lucia Hohan

Cate’s gown by Armani Privé; Dita’s gown by Maria Lucia Hohan

CATE: Your confidence is positively adorable, Dita. Now it’s time to surrender. Your March Fabness career ends here.

DITA: You can take my life, but you cannot take my Fabness.

EMMA ROBERTS vs. OLGA KURLYENKO
Emma's top by Roksanda Ilincic, skirt by Sachin + Babi, sunglasses by Garret Leight; Olga's top and skirt by Chanel

Emma’s top by Roksanda Ilincic, skirt by Sachin + Babi, sunglasses by Garret Leight; Olga’s top and skirt by Chanel

EMMA: Olga, I’ve always wondered – what’s it like to be a Bond girl?

OLGA: I get free Chanel clothes. There is no greater job perk than that.

Emma's top by Paper London, skirt by Three Floor, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Olga's dress and shoes by Christian Dior

Emma’s top by Paper London, skirt by Three Floor, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Olga’s dress and shoes by Christian Dior

EMMA: Amen, sister. Also, do you think I could pull off a chartreuse dress like yours?

OLGA: No. And definitely not with that hair.

Emma's top by Kate Spade, purse by Rebecca Minkoff, shoes by Casadei

Emma’s top by Kate Spade, purse by Rebecca Minkoff, shoes by Casadei; Olga’s dress, purse, and shoes by Elie Saab

EMMA: What’s wrong with my hair?!

OLGA: Well, the bob is fine. But the longer you grow it, the faker those terrible blonde highlights look.

Emma's dress by Isabel Marant for H&M, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Olga's gown by Valentino, purse by Charlotte Olympia

Emma’s dress by Isabel Marant for H&M, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Olga’s gown by Valentino, purse by Charlotte Olympia

EMMA: How dare you! I just naturally have chocolate-brown roots and sunflower-yellow tips!

OLGA: That’s not a thing.

Emma's dress by Fendi, shoes by Brian Atwood; Olga's gown by Suzi Amis Cameron, purse by Oroton

Emma’s dress by Fendi, shoes by Brian Atwood; Olga’s gown by Suzi Amis Cameron, purse by Oroton

EMMA: Well, whatever. It’s irrelevant, because I have this fierce bob now, and that guy standing behind me can’t even handle how fabulous I look.

OLGA: Talk to me when you’re actually invited to the Oscars, and not just an after-party, okay, sweetheart?

KATE MARA vs. EMILIA CLARKE
Kate's coat by Michael Kors, purse by C line, shoes by Zara; Emilia's dress by Victoria Beckham, shoes by Kurt Geiger

Kate’s coat by Michael Kors, purse by Céline, shoes by Zara; Emilia’s dress by Victoria Beckham, shoes by Kurt Geiger

KATE: I will never be able to recognize you without white-blonde hair and a baby dragon draped around your shoulders.

EMILIA: And I’ll never be able to recognize you without Frank Underwood’s dick in your mouth.

Kate's jacket and dress by Louis Vuitton; Emilia's dress by Calvin Klein

Kate’s jacket and dress by Louis Vuitton; Emilia’s dress by Calvin Klein

KATE: That was really unnecessarily vulgar, Emilia. I expected better manners from the rightful heir to the Iron Throne.

EMILIA: Really? You must not know a lot about Westerosi history, because its rulers are not really known for their manners.

Kate's dress by Viktor & Rolf, purse by Rebecca Minkoff, shoes by Charlotte Olympia; Emilia's dress by Vivienne Westwood, purse and shoes by Charlotte Olympia

Kate’s dress by Viktor & Rolf, purse by Rebecca Minkoff, shoes by Charlotte Olympia; Emilia’s dress by Vivienne Westwood, purse and shoes by Charlotte Olympia

KATE: Well, are they known for sharing fabulous shoes? Because you and I should definitely be able to trade our Charlotte Olympias when we’re in the mood for something new.

EMILIA: I’m hoping to soon be famous enough to have a free pair of Charlotte Olympias in every color and style, but for now, I’d be down for such an arrangement.

Kate's dress by J. Mendel; Emilia's dress by Christian Dior

Kate’s dress by J. Mendel; Emilia’s dress by Christian Dior

KATE: Until then, let’s agree to share our B-lister shoe collections, shall we?

EMILIA: I’m all in. But you can keep those chunky round-toed pumps.

Kate's dress by Christian Dior; Emilia's gown by Ralph Lauren

Kate’s dress by Christian Dior; Emilia’s gown by Ralph Lauren

KATE: Fine. What do you think you are, some kind of faux-punk prom queen?

EMILIA: Um, I’m at the punk-themed Met Gala. So, yes. That’s kind of the point.

ELIZABETH BANKS vs. HAILEE STEINFELD
Elizabeth's dress by Roksanda Ilincic; Hailee's dress and shoes by Tory Burch

Elizabeth’s dress by Roksanda Ilincic; Hailee’s dress and shoes by Tory Burch

ELIZABETH: You’re awfully chic for such a young lady, Hailee. I can’t imagine I had a fraction of your style when I was seventeen.

HAILEE: Well, in your defense, you probably hadn’t already been on the red carpet for a few years when you were seventeen. After awhile, style just kind of comes with the territory. And by that I mean, stylists just kind of come with the territory.

Elizabeth's dress by David Koma, purse by Rauwolf, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Hailee's top, pants, and shoes by Saint Laurent

Elizabeth’s dress by David Koma, purse by Rauwolf, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Hailee’s top, pants, and shoes by Saint Laurent

ELIZABETH: Too true, Ms. Steinfeld. Don’t you find it hilarious when stars pretend to take credit for their own fashion choices? As if they have any say in the matter whatsoever?

HAILEE: Oh, it’s beyond hilarious. Like anyone believes that bullshit anyway.

Elizabeth's dress by Jason Wu, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Hailee's dress by House of Holland, purse by Amanda Pearl, shoes by Oscar Tiye

Elizabeth’s dress by Jason Wu, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Hailee’s dress by House of Holland, purse by Amanda Pearl, shoes by Oscar Tiye

ELIZABETH: Right? Who among us would even have time to style ourselves, anyway?

HAILEE: I barely had time to sit through this red-and-blue manicure, let alone make the decision to get the matchy-matchy manicure in the first place.

Elizabeth's jumpsuit by Osman, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Hailee's coat, dress, and boots by Miu Miu

Elizabeth’s jumpsuit by Osman, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Hailee’s coat and boots by Miu Miu

ELIZABETH: Exactly. For instance, I doubt the fact that your cat-printed coat matches the backdrop at the event you’re attending is mere coincidence.

HAILEE: Like I’d even wear a cat-print unless someone told me to. Who else but a stylist would ever think of wearing a cat-print?

Elizabeth's top and skirt by Jenny Packham, purse by JImmy Choo, shoes by Casadei; Hailee's gown by Andrew Gn

Elizabeth’s top and skirt by Jenny Packham, purse by JImmy Choo, shoes by Casadei; Hailee’s gown by Andrew Gn

ELIZABETH: God only knows, Hailee. But we smile and pose and wear what we’re told, and in Hollywood, that’s all that matters.

HAILEE: Amen.

— © Democracy Diva, 2014. . facebook . twitter . pinterest .

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