March Fabness 2014: Sweet 16, Part 2


The Fabness continues – vote now, before your favorite celebrity gets set on fire by her opponent!

CATE BLANCHETT vs. OLGA KURLYENKO
Cate's dress and shoes by Armani Priv , Olga's top, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior

Cate’s dress and shoes by Armani Privé, Olga’s top, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior

CATE: I know on principle, I’m supposed to hate you, because we’re battling or whatever. But I’d be willing to concede this race if you let me borrow those shoes.

OLGA: Never. They’re too perfect; they are mine FOREVER.

Cate's gown and purse by Lanvin; Olga's dress and shoes by Christian Dior

Cate’s gown and purse by Lanvin; Olga’s dress and shoes by Christian Dior

CATE: Fine. I offered you an out, but if you’re going to be like that, I’ll fucking CRUSH YOU in this competition.

OLGA: You’re an Oscar winner. I’m a Bond girl. For my relative placement to you on the spectrum of fame and thus access to high fashion, you have to admit, I’ve got some good fucking style.

Cate's gown by Valentino, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Olga's dress by Elie Saab

Cate’s gown by Valentino, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Olga’s dress by Elie Saab

CATE: I suppose your style is above average. Sadly, that’s much less than the amount of fabulosity you’ll need to compete with me.

OLGA: I guess I’m not stuffy and obnoxious enough to be on your level, but somehow, I’m okay with that.

Cate's gown by Alexander McQueen, purse by Roger Vivier, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Olga's gown by Burberry

Cate’s gown by Alexander McQueen, purse by Roger Vivier; Olga’s gown by Burberry

CATE: If by “stuffy and obnoxious,” you mean “poised and elegant,” then yes, you’re quite right.

OLGA: No, what I was saying was that you have a stick up your ass as big as your ego.

Cate's gown by Givenchy; Olga's gown by Marchesa, purse by Stark

Cate’s gown by Givenchy; Olga’s gown by Marchesa

CATE: Don’t bother trying to sass an A-lister, darling. We’re impervious to criticism from anyone less famous than we are.

OLGA: Tell me, it is uncomfortable for you to have your head so far up your own ass?

Cate's gown by Armani Privé; Olga's gown by Christian Dior

Cate’s gown by Armani Privé; Olga’s gown by Christian Dior

CATE: How can you even see that? You must have to crane your neck terribly to be able to look up at me, from all the way down there on the C-List.

OLGA: Psh. Like I’d even be glancing in your direction if I weren’t required to be here by the laws of March Fabness.

Cate's gown by Armani Privé;

Cate’s gown by Armani Privé; Olga’s gown by Suzi Amis Cameron, purse by Oroton

CATE: Whatever. Next time you manage to sneak your way into the Oscars, remember how an Academy Award winner looks, because you’re certainly never going to see one up close again until then.

OLGA: Suck it, Blanchett. I’m outta here.

EMILIA CLARKE vs. ELIZABETH BANKS
Emilia's dress and purse by Chanel, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Elizabeth's dress by Jason Wu, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Emilia’s dress and purse by Chanel, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Elizabeth’s dress by Jason Wu, shoes by Christian Louboutin

EMILIA: I have to say, I’m surprised you left your pink wig at home. And where’s your brightly colored McQueen-looking dress made entirely out of flowers, or whatever the hell it is you wear?

ELIZABETH: Well, I thought it wouldn’t be a fair fight if you brought them. I mean, that’s why you didn’t bring the dragons, right?

Emilia's dress by Christian Dior; Elizabeth's jumpsuit by Osman, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Emilia’s dress by Christian Dior; Elizabeth’s jumpsuit by Osman, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Jimmy Choo

EMILIA: What? Oh, yes. Of course. I definitely didn’t bring the dragons. They’re definitely not hiding out right behind this backdrop, waiting to burn your ass to the ground.

ELIZABETH: Right! Because that wouldn’t be proper.

Emilia's dress by Vivienne Westwood, purse and shoes by Charlotte Olympia; Elizabeth's top and skirt by Jenny Packham, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Casadei

Emilia’s dress by Vivienne Westwood, purse and shoes by Charlotte Olympia; Elizabeth’s top and skirt by Jenny Packham, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Casadei

EMILIA: Wow. I guess you really are as dumb as you look.

ELIZABETH: Um, I look like a brilliant and beautiful Muppet drag queen, and you can fucking deal with it.

Emilia's gown by Calvin Klein, purse by Rauwolf; Elizabeth's gown by Elie Saab, purse by Kara Ross

Emilia’s gown by Calvin Klein, purse by Rauwolf; Elizabeth’s gown by Elie Saab, purse by Kara Ross

EMILIA: Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.

ELIZABETH: Don’t “sweetheart” me, missy. What, an invite to the SAG Awards and you’re suddenly Queen of the Andals and the First Men?

Emilia's gown by Ralph Lauren; Elizabeth's dress by Atelier Versace, purse and shoes by Brian Atwood

Emilia’s gown by Ralph Lauren; Elizabeth’s dress by Atelier Versace, purse and shoes by Brian Atwood

EMILIA: No, I’m actually Queen by birthright, not by SAG Award invitation. Now make some room on the damn Met Gala red carpet – I almost tripped over your fringe-y shoes.

ELIZABETH: Careful, or I’ll rip that cross right out of your ear.

Emilia's gown by Donna Karan, purse by Rauwolf; Elizabeth's gown by Jason Wu

Emilia’s gown by Donna Karan, purse by Rauwolf; Elizabeth’s gown by Jason Wu

EMILIA: Oh, darling, I beg you to take one fucking step towards me. See if you can do it without catching fire.

ELIZABETH: But I’m all about Catching Fire!

Emilia's gown by Proenza Schouler; Elizabeth's gown by Versace, purse by Rauwolf

Emilia’s gown by Proenza Schouler; Elizabeth’s gown by Versace, purse by Rauwolf

EMILIA: No, I’m referring to the fact that my dragons are about to actually set you on fire.

ELIZABETH: Oh. Well. Never mind, then.


© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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