EMMA WATSON vs. JENNIFER LAWRENCE
EMMA: Well, well, well. Katniss Everdeen. We meet at last.
JENNIFER: Emma. We’ve met like, at least a dozen times. What’s your deal?
EMMA: Um, I’m Hermione Granger, and I think I’d remember meeting Katniss Everdeen.
JENNIFER: Listen, it’s early, I’m tired – can we just drop the act and like, take a nap or something?
EMMA: No! Come on! Do the Hermione vs. Katniss bit with me! It’ll be fun! You’ll shoot arrows at me and I’ll shoot spells at you, it’ll be great!
JENNIFER: I don’t know, dude. I’ve been filming and press-touring for like, three years straight. I’m just going to take a nap right here, real quick…
EMMA: NO! Wake the fuck up! I am two-time March Fabness winner Emma Watson, and you will not fucking fall asleep in the middle of our fashion battle!
JENNIFER: Well, at least I got you to drop the Hermione bullshit. So, you’ve won this before?
EMMA: Twice. And I very much intend to win again.
JENNIFER: Well, in case you don’t – any advice?
EMMA: Yeah. Stay away from the Cornucopia, find water, and stay alive.
JENNIFER: You’re a real asshole, you know that?
EMMA: May the odds be ever in your favor, Jennifer. You’ll need them.
JENNIFER: You’re lucky my bow and arrow don’t fit in this clutch.
AMY ADAMS vs. CHLOË MORETZ
AMY: Ugh. I can’t even believe I have to be here. Isn’t it understood that I have better things to do?
CHLOË: Chill out. It’ll be quick. I’ll kick your ass in like, five minutes.
AMY: You’re a cute kid, and you’ve got decent style for a girl your age, but I’m Amy Adams. I’m America’s sweetheart!
CHLOË: I actually think Jennifer Lawrence is America’s sweetheart, but whatever.
AMY: Don’t sass me, little girl.
CHLOË: Don’t call me “little girl,” you boring old hag.
AMY: I am not going to dignify your childish behavior with a response.
CHLOË: See, when you talk, all I hear is WAH WAH WAH, WAH WAH, WAH WAH. Like in The Peanuts.
AMY: Enjoy the schoolgirl looks while you can, sweetheart. You’ve got about twelve months until they start looking desperate.
CHLOË: Oh, and then I can wear stuffy gowns like you? No thanks.
AMY: Oh, do I detect a hint of jealousy that I get invited to awards shows and galas where grown-up clothes are actually necessary?
CHLOË: Me? Jealous? NEVER.
AMY: Oh, congratulations – I see you’ve finally graduated from cocktail dresses. Call me when you find yourself a real red carpet look, will you?
CHLOË: Don’t fuck with my pantsuit, lady. It’s undeniably awesome.