2014 Cannes Film Festival, Part 2

Fuck the work week. Let’s hit the French Riviera. 

gown by Armani Privé

Photo: Splash News

Maybe the most exquisite thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. The color; the intensely intricate, crazy beautiful metallic embellishments; the shoulders; the flower necklace. Ask me why I love the Cannes Film Festival, and I will just point to this photo and maybe drool a little bit.

gown by Givenchy

Photo: Alberto Pizzoli/AFP/Getty

I thought Zoe Saldana would be the lucky lady to snag this Fall 2014 gown, but I’m glad it landed on Cate’s exquisite shoulders. I mean, it sort of looks like a bead store threw up on her, but, you know. In a good way.

top and pants by Delpozo, shoes by Roger Vivier

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

I don’t advise mere mortals to attempt the sack-shaped crop top/high-waisted, wide-legged pant combination. Infuriatingly, Cate makes it look effortless and chic.

gown and tuxedo by Gucci

Photo: George Pimentel/WireImage

Unstoppably beautiful as individuals. Together, their combined sex appeal might actually take over the universe.

dress by Giambattista Valli, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

Photo: FameFlynet

What an unreasonable and truly awkward skirt length. Other than that, this is cute as a button.

gown by Marchesa

Photo: Dave J. Hogan/Getty

I just want to dive into this picture and pull up that droopy little sleeve. I know it’s intentional, but she just looks like her clothes are falling off. But the draping of this gown is a dream, and that necklace is ten different kinds of glam.

suit and shoes by Prada

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

Obsessed. Has there ever been a spring suit this fabulous?

gown by Elie Saab

Photo: Pascal Le Segretain/Getty

Fantastic silhouette, lovely and interesting print. More importantly, it doesn’t look like every other Elie Saab gown ever made. All his work is stunning, but there are a finite number of times you can send the same sparkly embellished gown down the runway without it getting a little bit redundant.

blazer and pants by Ella Moss, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo

Photo: Xposure/AKM-GSI

I don’t even know how to describe this print, but I know I want it on five thousand different items of clothing and accessories, ASAP.

gown by Michael Kors

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

The fit is a little sad; the color, somewhat more so. You’re better than this, Freida.

dress by Valentino

Photo: Ramey

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. But when in France, don’t dress like a French maid. Zoe might pull it off, but it’s still a bit too on the nose.

top and skirt by Christian Dior, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: PA

More awkward Dior for poor little J.Law. The skirt is actually a great shape, but I hate how wide the crop top is. And I don’t even know how to identify whatever is pictured on it.

top by Louis Vuitton, skirt by Missoni, shoes by Casadei

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

I think this lacks the requisite oompf that Cannes demands – I know it’s daytime, but a polo shirt and sad nude pumps just don’t cut it. Great color palette, though.

gown by Georges Hobeika, purse by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Joel Ryan/Invision/AP

Awkward, ill-fitting, and strangely cake-like.

gown by Elie Saab

Photo: Tim P. Whitby/Getty

Eva, what did you do to your makeup artist to make him hate you so much? Surely there must be a way to get back in his good graces so that you never have to suffer this clown makeup again.

jumpsuit by Elie Saab

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

Maybe the saddest look in the history of Cannes. Bitch, you’re in the French Riviera. Lighten the fuck up. Things can’t possibly be all that bad.

gown by Tufi Duek, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

Looks like we found the Brazilian Lea Michele! A plunging neckline, a slit up to the sky, AND side cut-outs? Honey. Calm yourself. It’s a long festival, and you’ll have plenty of time to show some skin. There’s no need to do it all at once.

dress by Emilio Pucci

Photo: Michael Buckner/Getty

Are you lost? This is CANNES. No one wears three different shades of baby pink to Cannes, for God’s sake.

gown by Gabriela Cadena

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

Oh, look! It’s the only thing Eva Longoria has ever worn! This woman wears so many mermaid gowns, she might actually live under the sea.

gown by Gabriela Cadena

Photo: Andreas Rentz/Getty

Oh, look! It’s an uglier version of the only gown Eva Longoria has ever worn, and this time it vaguely resembles lingerie!

© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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Respond to 2014 Cannes Film Festival, Part 2

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