Fuck the work week. Let’s hit the French Riviera. 

CATE BLANCHETT
gown by Armani Privé

Maybe the most exquisite thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. The color; the intensely intricate, crazy beautiful metallic embellishments; the shoulders; the flower necklace. Ask me why I love the Cannes Film Festival, and I will just point to this photo and maybe drool a little bit.

CATE BLANCHETT
gown by Givenchy

I thought Zoe Saldana would be the lucky lady to snag this Fall 2014 gown, but I’m glad it landed on Cate’s exquisite shoulders. I mean, it sort of looks like a bead store threw up on her, but, you know. In a good way.

CATE BLANCHETT
top and pants by Delpozo, shoes by Roger Vivier

I don’t advise mere mortals to attempt the sack-shaped crop top/high-waisted, wide-legged pant combination. Infuriatingly, Cate makes it look effortless and chic.

BLAKE LIVELY and RYAN REYNOLDS
gown and tuxedo by Gucci

Unstoppably beautiful as individuals. Together, their combined sex appeal might actually take over the universe.

BLAKE LIVELY
dress by Giambattista Valli, shoes by Stuart Weitzman

What an unreasonable and truly awkward skirt length. Other than that, this is cute as a button.

NAOMI WATTS
gown by Marchesa

I just want to dive into this picture and pull up that droopy little sleeve. I know it’s intentional, but she just looks like her clothes are falling off. But the draping of this gown is a dream, and that necklace is ten different kinds of glam.

LÉA SEYDOUX
suit and shoes by Prada

Obsessed. Has there ever been a spring suit this fabulous?

CLOTILDE COURAU
gown by Elie Saab

Fantastic silhouette, lovely and interesting print. More importantly, it doesn’t look like every other Elie Saab gown ever made. All his work is stunning, but there are a finite number of times you can send the same sparkly embellished gown down the runway without it getting a little bit redundant.

FREIDA PINTO
blazer and pants by Ella Moss, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo

I don’t even know how to describe this print, but I know I want it on five thousand different items of clothing and accessories, ASAP.

FREIDA PINTO
gown by Michael Kors

The fit is a little sad; the color, somewhat more so. You’re better than this, Freida.

ZOE SALDANA
dress by Valentino

When in Rome, do as the Romans do. But when in France, don’t dress like a French maid. Zoe might pull it off, but it’s still a bit too on the nose.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE
top and skirt by Christian Dior, shoes by Christian Louboutin

More awkward Dior for poor little J.Law. The skirt is actually a great shape, but I hate how wide the crop top is. And I don’t even know how to identify whatever is pictured on it.

AMERICA FERRERA
top by Louis Vuitton, skirt by Missoni, shoes by Casadei

I think this lacks the requisite oompf that Cannes demands – I know it’s daytime, but a polo shirt and sad nude pumps just don’t cut it. Great color palette, though.

AMERICA FERRERA
gown by Georges Hobeika, purse by Jimmy Choo

Awkward, ill-fitting, and strangely cake-like.

EVA GREEN
gown by Elie Saab

Eva, what did you do to your makeup artist to make him hate you so much? Surely there must be a way to get back in his good graces so that you never have to suffer this clown makeup again.

EVA GREEN
jumpsuit by Elie Saab

Maybe the saddest look in the history of Cannes. Bitch, you’re in the French Riviera. Lighten the fuck up. Things can’t possibly be all that bad.

ISABELI FONTANA
gown by Tufi Duek, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Looks like we found the Brazilian Lea Michele! A plunging neckline, a slit up to the sky, AND side cut-outs? Honey. Calm yourself. It’s a long festival, and you’ll have plenty of time to show some skin. There’s no need to do it all at once.

GEMMA ARTERTON
dress by Emilio Pucci

Are you lost? This is CANNES. No one wears three different shades of baby pink to Cannes, for God’s sake.

EVA LONGORIA
gown by Gabriela Cadena

Oh, look! It’s the only thing Eva Longoria has ever worn! This woman wears so many mermaid gowns, she might actually live under the sea.

EVA LONGORIA
gown by Gabriela Cadena

Oh, look! It’s an uglier version of the only gown Eva Longoria has ever worn, and this time it vaguely resembles lingerie!

—
© Democracy Diva, 2014.
. facebook . twitter . pinterest .