CATE BLANCHETT in Windsor, England
gown by Ralph Lauren
Ms. Blanchett took some time off from positively murdering bitches with her fashion sense at Cannes, and meandered over to the English countryside to kill it even more. Virtually every detail of this is flawless. I predicted Blake Lively would rock the shorter version of this dress from Ralph Lauren’s Fall 2014 collection, but I would like to profusely thank the fashion gods for saving this work of art for Queen Cate.
LILY JAMES in Windsor, England
gown by Ralph Lauren
Lily James is that adorable girl from Downton Abbey who was added when they realized that without Sybil, the show was missing a young-sassy-highborn-beauty-challenges-the-status-quo character. This was the first time I caught a glimpse of her on the red carpet, and I am BLOWN AWAY. She out-dressed British fashion darlings Emma Watson and Cara Delevingne at this event (both discussed below), and that is saying something, particularly for a relative newbie to the celebrity fashion scene. I’m genuinely looking forward to seeing her more, and not because I have lots of bitchy quips already prepared to make fun of her. (But I’ll work on some just in case things take a turn for the hideous.)
ELLE FANNING in New York City
dress by Vivienne Westwood
Elle Fanning continues to serve up Disney Princess realness on her Maleficent press tour. I continue to eat that shit up with a spoon. This color is stupendous, and she actually looks like birds draped this dress on her ever-so-delicately while she sang them a happy little song. Which is pretty much exactly what she was going for.
FAN BINGBING in Melbourne, Australia
dress by Ralph & Russo, purse by Giuseppe Zanotti
I am obsessed with everything from the ankles-up. But this woman is just too damn good at fashion to be pairing bulky black platforms with everything she wears.
CARA DELEVINGNE at Windsor, England
gown by Ralph Lauren
It’s got that effortless, I-don’t-give-a-fuck-that-I-look-like-a-million-bucks vibe that makes Cara the icon that she is. I love the neckline, but it seems like the bodice doesn’t fit her all that well.
EMMA WATSON in Windsor, England
blouse and skirt by Ralph Lauren, purse by Roger Vivier
That skirt is way too expensive to be dragging on the dirt like that, but it’s a cool, stylish look nonetheless. The curved collar on that shirt is really interesting, and I love details like that – small ones that you don’t notice at first, but then can’t stop obsessing over after that.
TAYLOR SWIFT in New York City
romper by Suno, purse by Bhailiu, shoes by Gucci
I don’t believe in rompers outside of sleepwear, and even I would kill to wear this. Taylor’s street style game has gotten almost shockingly awesome lately.
DIANNA AGRON in Los Angeles
dress by J. Crew, sunglasses by Ray-Ban, purse by Miu Miu, shoes by Soludos
Speaking of phenomenal street style, I want everything Dianna Agron is wearing.
OLIVIA PALERMO in New York City
romper by Peter Som, purse by Delvaux, shoes by Rebecca Minkoff
In true Olivia Palermo fashion, it’s got a little too much going on – lose the belt, for God’s sake – but the individual pieces are to die for. That bag and those shoes are really some of the most gorgeous accessories I’ve ever seen. But this all seems a bit heavy and autumnal for May in New York, doesn’t it? I know it hasn’t been brutally hot yet, but I’d have been schvitzing after five minutes in those stockings.
DAKOTA FANNING in Dubai
dress by Chanel
Dakota, we are officially in a fight. You don’t get to take a dress this absolutely fucking awesome and completely ruin it with that hair. If you want to go flyaway-heavy and makeup-free, your outfit needs to match that level of too-cool-for-styling easygoingness. A feathered couture cocktail dress such as this one simply cannot be paired with that hair. I’m surprised Karl Lagerfeld didn’t send an underling to run a comb through your hair when you dared to attend his fashion show with that bedhead.
JENNIFER LOPEZ at the Billboard Music Awards
gown by Donna Karan, shoes by Jimmy Choo
I don’t hate the dress, and with J.Lo, I usually hate the dress, so that’s a start. But that prom hair looks a little bit ridiculous on a woman who’s well into her forties.
CARRIE UNDERWOOD at the Billboard Music Awards
gown by Oriett Domenech, purse by Rodo
A great color combination, but I can’t say I love the result. The embroidery should have stopped at the waist or the bust – it’s a little too much to take in.
LUCY HALE at the Billboard Music Awards
dress by Alex Perry, purse by Charlotte Olympia
It’s actually a very sweet and lovely outfit, but she needed to hem that skirt a few inches. It’s hard for a 5’2″ girl to wear that midi-length skirt without it making her look even shorter. (Trust this 5’0″ Diva, for she knows of such things.)
SARAH HYLAND in Los Angeles
romper by Camilla and Marc, shoes by Casadei
Rompers were everywhere this week, but the puffiness of the bottom of this one makes it a little hard to handle. However, the absolutely fan-fucking-tastic accessories make up for it. Those shoes are AMAZING.
SARAH HYLAND at the Billboard Music Awards
jacket and skirt by Emilio Pucci, purse by Tyler Alexandra, shoes by Oscar Tiye
All those exposed zippers make this look very dated, and the shoes were just a terrible decision. I love a girl in a suit, but this one isn’t for her. And combined with the makeup (there’s just too much of it), it makes her look a lot older than she is.
FREIDA PINTO in Dubai
top and skirt by Chanel
Here is your weekly reminder that just because it says “Chanel” on it doesn’t mean you should wear it, even if you are the most beautiful woman in the world.
JENNIFER CONNELLY in Monaco
dress by Louis Vuitton
I reject this entirely.
KELLY ROWLAND at the Billboard Music Awards
bra by Cushnie et Ochs, skirt by Fausto Puglisi, shoes by Manolo Blahnik
Just a little bit more top to that bra top, and this would have been fabulous. But she’s a sneeze away from a double-nip-slip.
NICKI MINAJ at the Billboard Music Awards
gown by Alexander McQueen
If this had actually been made to fit her breasts and didn’t squeeze out her underboob, I would have loved it. But it’s impossible to look at anything other than said underboob, and that’s just unacceptable.
CHRISSY TEIGEN at the Billboard Music Awards
dress by Fyodor Golan, purse by JustFab, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
And then Chrissy Teigen spread her hideous wings and flew away, and there was nothing left of her except those tacky clip-on bangs.