March Fabness 2015, Round 1: Dior Bracket

Welcome to Bracket #3, judgmental bitches! Let your voices be heard. 

JESSICA CHASTAIN vs. COCO ROCHA

Jessica in Prada; Coco in Roberto Cavalli

Jessica in Prada; Coco in Roberto Cavalli

Jessica: Psh. Models.

Coco: Pardon me? Do you have a problem with models?

Jessica in Prada; Coco in Christian Siriano

Jessica in Prada; Coco in Christian Siriano

Jessica: As a rule, I have a problem with no one, the better to maintain my perfect angelic grown-up Disney princess persona. But…

Coco: Spit it out, Red.

Jessica in Giorgio Armani; Coco in Zac Posen

Jessica in Giorgio Armani; Coco in Zac Posen

Jessica: You wear clothes FOR A LIVING! Like, on a runway! I thought you’re supposed to be ineligible to compete in the Olympics if you’re a professional.

Coco: Sorry, bitch. Even in my third trimester, I’m a walking Zac Posen ad. Deal with me.

Jessica in Mary Katrantzou; Coco in Versace

Jessica in Mary Katrantzou; Coco in Versace

Jessica: I cannot even, and will not even, deal with you. Good day.

Coco: Whatever. I’m getting cheese fries.

MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL vs. OLIVIA PALERMO

Maggie in Roland Mouret; Olivia in Chloé

Maggie in Roland Mouret; Olivia in Chloé

Maggie: Well, we might as well get this shit over with.

Olivia: Indeed. Let the battle of the hipsters begin!

Maggie in Valentino; Olivia in Valentino

Maggie in Valentino; Olivia in Valentino

Maggie: Hipster? I’m not a hipster.

Olivia: Um, are you kidding? Have you seen you?

Maggie in Miu Miu; Olivia in Carolina Herrera

Maggie in Miu Miu; Olivia in Carolina Herrera

Maggie: Well, obviously, but –

Olivia: You’re such a hipster, you’re basically Zooey Deschanel’s ukelele.

Maggie in Dolce & Gabbana; Olivia in Burberry Prorsum

Maggie in Dolce & Gabbana; Olivia in Burberry Prorsum

Maggie: Fine. I’d rather be that than wear a belt AROUND my scarf. What could even have possessed you to do that?

Olivia: Just my normal diet of celery and cocaine, I guess.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE vs. LUCY LIU

Jennifer in Dior; Lucy in Stella McCartney

Jennifer in Dior; Lucy in Stella McCartney

Jennifer: Are there nipples on your dress? I’m pretty sure I see nipples on your dress.

Lucy: Oh! Um, well, yes, I suppose there are.

Jennifer in Altuzarra; Lucy in Proenza Schouler

Jennifer in Altuzarra; Lucy in Proenza Schouler

Jennifer: Respect.

Lucy: Uh… thank you, I guess?

Jennifer in Dior; Lucy in Zuhair Murad

Jennifer in Dior; Lucy in Zuhair Murad

Jennifer: Tell me the truth – does it look like those mockingjay wings are growing right out of my head?

Lucy: Now that you mention it, yes. Yes, it does.

Jennifer in Jason Wu; Lucy in Vivienne Westwood

Jennifer in Jason Wu; Lucy in Vivienne Westwood

Jennifer: Cool. Thanks for your honesty. You’re a true friend.

Lucy: You are a really strange person.

DIANE KRUGER vs. OLIVIA WILDE

Diane in Giamba; Olivia in Stella McCartney

Diane in Giamba; Olivia in Stella McCartney

Diane: Hello, Olivia! Or as I like to think of you, “the poor man’s American version of me.”

Olivia: Hey, fuck you, lady.

Diane in Chanel; Olivia in Roksanda

Diane in Chanel; Olivia in Roksanda

Diane: Oh, was that insulting? I thought someone such as yourself would be honored to have your name associated with mine.

Olivia: Just because you’re married to Pacey doesn’t mean you get to act like such a self-righteous bitch.

Diane in Donna Karan; Olivia in Mollie Parnis

Diane in Donna Karan; Olivia in Mollie Parnis

Diane: Oh, I was a self-righteous bitch long before Joshua Jackson was in the picture.

Olivia: Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me.

Diane in Emilia Wickstead; Olivia in Michael Kors

Diane in Emilia Wickstead; Olivia in Michael Kors

Diane: Anyway, congratulations on your new baby! I hope it looks like its father.

Olivia: And I hope Pacey dumps you for Katie Holmes.


© Democracy Diva, 2015.
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