Welcome to Bracket #3, judgmental bitches! Let your voices be heard.
JESSICA CHASTAIN vs. COCO ROCHA
Jessica: Psh. Models.
Coco: Pardon me? Do you have a problem with models?
Jessica: As a rule, I have a problem with no one, the better to maintain my perfect angelic grown-up Disney princess persona. But…
Coco: Spit it out, Red.
Jessica: You wear clothes FOR A LIVING! Like, on a runway! I thought you’re supposed to be ineligible to compete in the Olympics if you’re a professional.
Coco: Sorry, bitch. Even in my third trimester, I’m a walking Zac Posen ad. Deal with me.
Jessica: I cannot even, and will not even, deal with you. Good day.
Coco: Whatever. I’m getting cheese fries.
MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL vs. OLIVIA PALERMO
Maggie: Well, we might as well get this shit over with.
Olivia: Indeed. Let the battle of the hipsters begin!
Maggie: Hipster? I’m not a hipster.
Olivia: Um, are you kidding? Have you seen you?
Maggie: Well, obviously, but –
Olivia: You’re such a hipster, you’re basically Zooey Deschanel’s ukelele.
Maggie: Fine. I’d rather be that than wear a belt AROUND my scarf. What could even have possessed you to do that?
Olivia: Just my normal diet of celery and cocaine, I guess.
JENNIFER LAWRENCE vs. LUCY LIU
Jennifer: Are there nipples on your dress? I’m pretty sure I see nipples on your dress.
Lucy: Oh! Um, well, yes, I suppose there are.
Lucy: Uh… thank you, I guess?
Jennifer: Tell me the truth – does it look like those mockingjay wings are growing right out of my head?
Lucy: Now that you mention it, yes. Yes, it does.
Jennifer: Cool. Thanks for your honesty. You’re a true friend.
Lucy: You are a really strange person.
DIANE KRUGER vs. OLIVIA WILDE
Diane: Hello, Olivia! Or as I like to think of you, “the poor man’s American version of me.”
Olivia: Hey, fuck you, lady.
Diane: Oh, was that insulting? I thought someone such as yourself would be honored to have your name associated with mine.
Olivia: Just because you’re married to Pacey doesn’t mean you get to act like such a self-righteous bitch.
Diane: Oh, I was a self-righteous bitch long before Joshua Jackson was in the picture.
Olivia: Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me.
Diane: Anyway, congratulations on your new baby! I hope it looks like its father.
Olivia: And I hope Pacey dumps you for Katie Holmes.