Welcome back, bitches! Let’s finish up these damn Grammys.
Best Dressed: JANELLE MONAE
ensemble by Dolce & Gabbana

Photo: Jamie McCarthy
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS.
Runner-Up: DONALD GLOVER
suit by Ermenegildo Zegna, shoes by Tod’s

Photo: John Shearer/Getty
He is stunning, and his fashion sense continues to be on point.
Honorable Mention: HAILEE STEINFELD
gown and boots by Alexandre Vauthier

Photo: Lester Cohen/Getty
I love so much about this. #1: the BOOTS. If you aren’t LIVING for these boots, check ya’ pulse, because you might actually be dead. #2: the eyeshadow. So random, yet somehow fully completes the look. #3: IT HAS POCKETS. Done. Sold.
CARDI B
gown by Ashi Studio, jewelry by Messika, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Kevin Mazur/Getty
Just weird enough to be awesome. Dig the jewelry; ditch the shoes.
KESHA
suit by Nudie’s Rodeo Tailors

Photo: John Shearer/Getty
I support whatever kind of wild-western-chic thing is happening here. Everyone who’s hopped on the saloon gown train should hit up the cowboy suit store instead.
BEN PLATT
suit by Valentino

Photo: Mike Coppola/FilmMagic
I love everything about this little darling. The suit, the shirt, the accessories – delicious.
LANA DEL REY
gown by Gucci

Photo: Lester Cohen/Getty
Serving Hedy Lamarr realness. This may actually be the first thing Lana’s ever worn that I truly love.
SZA
gown by Atelier Versace, jewelry by Chopard

Photo: Lester Cohen/Getty
I’m on board with the top half, but things both literally and figuratively start to fall apart as we head south.
LISA LOEB
gown by Zeina Nabulsi

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty
Needs a necklace and a less dated hairdo, but as always, Lisa Loeb is the queen of cute glasses.
RITA ORA
gown by Ralph & Russo, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz

Photo: Lester Cohen/Getty
It’s fine. And for Rita, who so often opts for hot disaster territory, I guess that’s enough.
ASHANTI
gown by Yas Couture by Elie Madi

Photo: Lester Cohen/Getty
It looks weirdly conservative from this angle, but you can fully see her nipples in just about every photo of this dress. Which is honestly more #Grammys than anything else, but something about the proportions just don’t work for me.
SAM SMITH
suit by Cerruti 1881

Photo: Lester Cohen/Getty
Aw, look. He’s trying.
HEIDI KLUM
gown by Ashi Studio, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Photo: Lester Cohen/Getty
Thanks, Heidi. It’s only the eight thousandth time we’ve seen a dress like this on the red carpet in the last two years.
KRISTIN CAVALLARI
gown by Alex Perry

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty
That illusion netting is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.
ANDRA DAY
gown by Victoria Hayes, jewelry by Jennifer Fisher, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Lester Cohen/Getty
These colors are atrocious, and the matching makeup, nails, and shoes might be worse.
KELLY CLARKSON
gown by Christian Siriano

Photo: Kevin Mazur/Getty
Are you the QUEEN? Good lord, Kelly. You’re only 35. Save this for your twilight years.
Worst Dressed: PINK
gown by Armani Privé

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty
And now, a moment of silence for every Muppet who had to die in order to make Pink’s dress.
Respond to 2018 Grammy Awards, Part 2