Your slightly delayed (forgive me, as law school kicks my ass) weekly celebrity fashion recap. Check back later tonight for the Golden Globes red carpet post!
The Week in Celebrity Fashion: Featuring the Glee Cast & More
Posts tagged:dolce & gabbana
The Month in Celebrity Fashion: Part I
Dear readers, it has been far too long. I thank you for your patience while this Diva was cramming for finals. But if you thought my absence meant that you’d miss out on all the fabulous in the world, fear not! I present to you a cornucopia of the last few weeks in celebrity fashion – in multiple parts, to prolong your delectable blogging experience. Take it away, fabulous!
Angelina: Mother of the Vampire Bride
Angelina Jolie in Versace at the New York premiere of The Tourist
A beautiful and sexy gown, but I do wish Ange would branch out a little more on the red carpet. She almost never wears colors of any kind, and it’s equally impossible to find her in prints, funky silhouettes, or basically anything unique. Ms. Jolie needs to step out of her comfort zone and wear something outside her usual aesthetic of slutty mother-of-the-bride at a vampire wedding.
Angelina Jolie in Versace at the European premiere of The Tourist
Another perfect example of Angie’s fashion faux pas: this Elvira/Morticia Adams thing went out of style in the 90s. The sleeves that go straight into gloves are just absurd, and the trannylicious hair and makeup is almost hilariously bad.
Angelina Jolie in Atelier Versace at the Madrid premiere of The Tourist
An improvement, certainly, but it’s clear that she won’t leave her witch-goddess look behind. From the waist up, she’s every glitzy, unoriginal Hollywood starlet; from the waist down, she’s a lush velvet snuggie. Angie, darling, you are no longer the brother-kissing, blood-vial-wearing, Billy Bob Thorton-fucking creeperdoodle of your youth. Since those days, you’ve added half a dozen kids, the hottest baby-daddy in the world, and all kinds of philanthropic shenanigans to your life. It’s long past time for a new stylist.
Black Swan Starlets Get Fabulous
Natalie Portman in Christian Dior at the New York premiere of Black Swan
Simple and borderline boring, but exactly what you should wear to the premiere of your ballerina thriller. Loving the Lolita purse. The effect of the droopy sleeves is a little sad, and I wish she had more eye makeup on to counterbalance all that lipstick.
Natalie Portman in Christian Dior at the FINCA 25th anniversary party in New York
Smile, Natalie! Your hot and your movie is getting all kinds of delectable buzz. Plus, the dress is cute and this hair and makeup flatters
Natalie Portman in Lanvin for H&M at the Gotham Independent Film Awards in New York
I’m fully obsessed with the new Lanvin collection for H&M. I stopped shopping at H&M a few years back when I realized everything I purchased there fell apart within a few wears (with the exception of the dress I bought for my sixteenth birthday, which I still own and plan on wearing when I lose the weight that law school made me gain). But one of the finest French designers in the world, making hot little $200 party dresses? Delectable. The bubbly shoulder is a little awkward on Ms. Portman – but for how cheap this dress was, how can I really complain? The hair and makeup are flawless, the purse is great, but Natalie, don’t think I didn’t notice that you’re wearing the same shoes you wore in the previous photo! Time for a new pair of Loubs, missy!
Mila Kunis in Elie Saab at the Black Swan premiere
I was all set to say that starlets need to stop wearing the same Elie Saab gowns over and over again, because this is just a winter white version of Lea Michele’s SAG Awards dress from last January, but apparently that dress wasn’t even Elie Saab. It was Catherine Malandrino. So go figure.
Regardless, although Mila went for the standard “Look at me, bitches!” gown, she is looking mighty fierce. The black nail polish, the amazing shoes, the bangles, the earrings, and the impeccable makeup are all making this basic dress look mighty stylish.
Mila Kunis at an Armani event in Los Angeles
But I much prefer the blazer, skinny pants, and fierce heels of this look. She may be in LA, but this is New York chic all the way. Love the hair.
We Get It, Michelle. You’re a Hipster.
Michelle Williams in Azzaro at the Blue Valentine premiere
You have to have a certain kind of face to pull off a platinum blonde pixie cut. I think Michelle Williams has that face, but I think the outfits she pairs with her haircut are just too hipster and not flattering enough. She’s surprisingly broad-shouldered for such a small woman, and this dress is emphasizing that rather than hiding it. The stupid bow and tiered skirt make this look more French maid than red carpet. It’s polished and put together nicely, but a pigeonhole is still a pigeonhole, even if you limit yourself to alterna-girl hipster-chic party dresses. Step outside the box, Michelle.
Michelle Williams at a New York screening of Blue Valentine
All I can hear is Cher Horowitz’s dad in Clueless saying, “What are you wearing? That looks like underwear” when she appears in her tiny little Calvin Klein minidress. This is like that, only it makes her look man-shouldered and awkward instead of young and beautiful.
The Rising Classiness of Katy Perry
Katy Perry in a Georges Chakra Couture dress and Brian Atwood pumps at the Grammy Nominations concert in Los Angeles
I have always hated Katy Perry – does the world REALLY need another no-talent hack who sells records based solely on the fact that she’s a big-titted girl who sings about kissing other girls – but even this Diva must admit that her fashion sense has absolutely exploded lately. The girl who used to insist on bright blue Betty Page wigs and figure skating costumes on the red carpet has blossomed into a woman who realizes that she can be sexy even without whipped cream shooting out of her nipples. This dress isn’t my style at all, but at least it’s mature but still youthful, elegant, and sexy. But Katy, as long as you’re making such wonderful wardrobe changes, please heed my advice: Dress a size bigger and you’ll look a size smaller. A dress doesn’t need to squash your boobs and tummy into oblivion.
Katy Perry in a Zuhair Murad dress and Brian Atwood pumps
Like the dress before it, this is still flashy and sexy enough for a pop star, but not at all costumey. (But, I spot another repeat shoe offender! Katy, I know you love those leg-lengthening nude pumps, but not for two different red carpets in the same week, please!) Note the hair and makeup – classy, with a bit of 1960s fun to it. We’ve come a long way, kittens. And, though skintight, this dress might not have looked as good in a size bigger, so kudos!
Katy Perry in Elie Saab couture at the premiere of The Tempest
Flawless. Borderline bridal, but I think it’s silvery-gray enough to be just a stunning couture gown. Great accessories, and Katy again proves that she absolutely glows when her hair is wavy and relaxed and her makeup is heavy on the eyeliner and light on everything else. She’s never looked so beautiful.
Katy Perry in Issa at the David Lynch Foundation’s benefit in New york
A step down from the last look, but not by too much. Sure, the dress is tacky, but she is still Katy Perry. You can’t expect her to give up her love of all things kitschy overnight. And let’s be honest – we know what Katy looks like when she goes truly tacky, and this ain’t it. The hair has too much product in it and the makeup is too heavy-handed, and the whole dress should be lifted up an inch or two, because those tatties aren’t going to hold themselves up. But it’s not terrible, all things considered.
Get A Haircut, Carey Mulligan
Carey Mulligan in Prabal Gurung at the British Independent Film Awards
Literally perfect from the neck down, but that hair has become a disaster. The worst part of a short haircut is growing it out, and so we must suffer through Carey’s awkward phases while she attempts to rid herself of the Rosemary’s Baby look. But I love the dress and the purse beyond belief. So she gets a pass.
Carey Mulligan in Erdem at the Dubai Film Festival
This, on the other hand, is a head-to-toe nightmare. Apparently part of the hair growth process involves a stop at a beauty pageant in 1980s Kentucky, because that ‘do is seriously cheesy. The print on that dress looks like psychedelic vomit, and what’s going on with the length? Completely unflattering. Oh, and SMILE, BITCH! Your hair may suck and your style isn’t always top notch, but you’re thin as a rail and rich as a king. Cheer the fuck up.
Jessica Alba Steals Dakota Fanning’s Shoes
Jessica Alba in Miu Miu at the label’s boutique opening in London
I loathe every fiber of Jessica Alba’s being, but this dress is pretty fucking cute. The hair is stupid and the purse doesn’t match, but this little Miu Miu number is pretty cute, if a little cock-eyed around the bust.
Oh, good lord, I want to slap this girl in the fact, and not only for this boring dress and that stupid face. Jessica, I know you stole Dakota Fanning’s fierce Louboutins. Worse than that, you paired them with a white dress. Just stop existing now, please.
Blondes Have More Fun
Carrie Underwood in Jenny Packham at the CMT Artists of the Year awards
I mean, it’s a country music awards ceremony. And not even a particularly popular one. Do you really expect something better than this? What a nightmare. Fire your stylist.
Carrie Underwood in Georges Chakra at the American Country Awards
Better, but still a little tacky and unoriginal, but that’s country music for you. (Cheap shot, I know.) I’ve seen this dress a hundred times, but at least it’s not mortifying and her hair and makeup look nice.
Reese Witherspoon in a Dolce & Gabbana dress and Jimmy Choo heels
Adorable.
Reese Witherspoon in Zac Posen at the LA premiere of How Do You Know
Oof. I probably wouldn’t be so picky if it weren’t Reese Witherspoon, but I spot a lot of problems. Those giant-toed shoes look absurd. The design on that dress is immature and not very flattering. Her chin looks even larger than usual. Her makeup was clearly not done by a professional. And girl, touch up those roots! Are you really showing up at your own movie premiere with black roots and blonde highlights?
Gossip Girls
Leighton Meester at an Herbal Essences promotional event in Madrid
Awesome. Simple and flawless hair, makeup, and dress allow this look to be all about those KILLER shoes. And do I spot pockets in this dress? Even more epic.
Leighton Meester at the Gotham Independent Film Awards in New York
I want to hate this, but I can’t. I think she looks totally cute, and with better hair and makeup, she would have been an absolute knockout. Menswear for women has absolutely rocked the last few seasons of fashion, so why can’t a woman wear a fierce suit and tie on the red carpet?
Leighton Meester in Christian Dior at an LA screening of Country Strong
This reminds me a little too much of the Marc Jacobs dress she wore back in September, except with shoes that don;t match, an ugly bracelet, and way too much lipstick. It’s probably a cute dress, but the styling is too much of a mess.
Blake Lively in a Prabal Gurung dress and Christian Louboutin booties at the Footwear News Achievement Awards in New York
Is it just me, or does Blake look totally wasted? I mean, if I were going to the fucking Footwear News Achievement Awards, I’d get pretty drunk myself, but there’s something about that shit-eating grin that just screams “There’s an empty bottle of tequila in my limo!” Love this dress from the waist down, hate it from the waist up. Those crinkled shoulders are not really a style that looks good on anybody, and those shoes are just distracting.
Blake Lively in Chanel at the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund Awards in New York
How many lace sheer-bottomed dresses can one woman wear? And isn’t this just Emma Watson’s dress from the Deathly Hallows world premiere, but upside-down? And why are her breasts glowing? I just have so many questions.
Blake Lively in Versace at Lorraine Schwartz’s jewelry collection launch in New York
I sort of love this fringey flapper look. I think if Blake’s tits weren’t itching to escape from the dress, it might look better. She also should have worn it in a color that doesn’t wash her out so badly. Plus, those thick-strapped sandals, the chunky bracelets, and the black nail and toenail polish overpower this light, breezy gown.
The Fabulous Life of Anne Hathaway
Anne Hathaway in Dolce & Gabbana at the Gotham Independent Film Awards in New York
Beautiful, if a little boring. But Annie’s got old Hollywood beauty and a timeless style, and that can never really go wrong.
Anne Hathaway at a New York screening of Love and Other Drugs
Oh. I guess I spoke too soon. This skirt is absolutely ridiculous, the makeup is downright clownish, and the straps to those shoes look like bondage.
Anne Hathaway arriving at the Late Night with Jimmy Fallon studio in New York
There’s the Princess Mia we know and love. Beyond being the most beautiful woman in Hollywood, Anne Hathaway truly has the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.
Anne Hathaway in an Oscar de la Renta dress and Jimmy Choo shoes at the Sydney premiere of Love and Other Drugs
Not my favorite. Who chose silver shoes with a gold dress? I also think this dress looks way too cheap to be Oscar de la Renta. But how could anybody say no to that smile?
Anne Hathaway in Brian Atwood shoes at a press conference in Sydney
Same shoes she wore in the first picture, but that’s more forgivable, because I think these events were about a month apart. This is sort of junior prom-esque, but it’s fun and the sleeves are pretty and I bet it doesn’t look so weirdly sparkly in person.
Anne Hathaway in Oscar de la Renta at a banquet in Oslo, Norway
Definitely one of my favorite Annie looks of all time. This is how a fucking movie star dresses. This is Anne Hathaway saying, “Damn right I’m co-hosting the Oscars! And you can expect six hundred costume changes, all of which will knock your fucking socks off!” Totally original but still a classic Hollywood look.
Drag Queen or Pop Diva? Christina Goes Burlesque
Christina Aguilera in Zuhair Murad at the London premiere of Burlesque
For several years now, at least since she had her baby, Christina Aguilera has only appeared in public looking like a drag queen imposter of herself. Certainly the Burlesque premiere is the appropriate time to tranny it up, but Christina is still young. There is absolutely no reason for her hair and makeup to look like that. What is it that her stylists are trying so hard to cover up? She’s still totally bangin’, you just can’t tell because of all the crap she’s always wearing. What a shame.
Christina Aguilera at the Berlin premiere of Burlesque
The dress is kind of great, like a modern version of something Cher would wear, which is pretty appropriate, given the event. But the hair! The makeup! Good lord, is that a pink braid wrapped around her head? And how much lipstick do you think she goes through in a week?
Repeat Offender: Eva Mendes
Eva Mendes in Prada at the Marrakech Film Festival
Another famous-for-being-hot no-talent that I love to hate, here’s Eva Mendes doing her best saloon whore impression. The slight differences in color between her skin, her shoes, her dress, and her purse are so distracting. But it’s not the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen her wear…
Eva Mendes in Christian Dior at the Marrakech Film Festival
… because this is. Seriously? We’re seriously going to start wearing this color? A floor-length satin banana yellow gown with white embellishments? Oh, and brush your fucking hair, Eva. You’re wearing Dior. Show some respect.
WTF Moment of the Month: Marion Cotillard
Marion Cotillard in Christian Dior at the Marrakech Film Festival
I actually screamed out loud when I realized the woman in this photo was Marion Cotillard, who I usually consider one of the more beautiful and stylish women in Hollywood. (I mean, she’s French! How could she not out-fabulous us all?) But apparently I was extraordinarily mistaken. There’s just so much wrong here. First, CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT PERM? I mean, I just cannot even fathom how someone thought this would be a good idea. This is such a clear example of celebrities who surround themselves with yes-men, who fawn over them and tell them how oh-so-fashion-forward they look when they really just look like hot tranny messes. At least, I hope that’s the explanation, otherwise someone ACTUALLY BELIEVED MARION LOOKED GOOD LIKE THIS.
And the makeup is almost as bad. Totally overdone. Though it’s practically demure compared to this gown, which is possibly the stupidest thing on earth. If someone described a feathered halter dress with a giant peekaboo cleavage hole and a giant blue leopard print all over it, you’d prescribe them an anti-psychotic medication immediately. But here Marion is, in the worst Dior creation I’ve ever seen, and looking mighty pregnant in it at that.
Marion Cotillard in Christian Dior at the Marrakech Film Festival
Oh, thank the lord. Someone threw a decent dress on her, scraped off that clown makeup, and straightened that godforsaken perm. It’s still kind of lumpy and misshapen, and I’m not convinced she’s not with child, but it’s a complete 180 from the dress before, so I can’t complain.
Gleeks Gone Glam
Gwyneth Paltrow in Monique Lhuillier receiving her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
Recent Glee guest star (who, it is rumored, will be returning to the show) rocks a little bridal cocktail dress as her star on the Walk of Fame is unveiled. I think she looks about as boring as boring can get, which is unsurprising, considering it’s Gwyneth.
Gwyneth Paltrow in Emilio Pucci at an LA screening of Country Strong
Wait. Is that – where exactly does that slit go?
Gwyneth Paltrow in Emilio Pucci at an LA screening of Country Strong
Oh. Oh my word.
Gwyneth Paltrow in Emilio Pucci at an LA screening of Country Strong
Oh, good LORD! What a way to tell the universe you don’t believe in panties, Gwynnie! This is actually downright vulgar. What a desperate cry for attention.
Jayma Mays in Burberry Prorsom at the Hollywood Style Awards
Ick. I usually love our Miss Pillsbury and her adorable outfits, but I’m not liking this. Too many colors and textures – the effect is unpleasant. The dress is unflattering – this woman is itsy bitsy, but you’d never know it from this photo. The styling is just completely off, and her mousy features can’t really handle that much lipstick.
Jayma Mays at the Late Show with David Letterman
This, on the other hand, is bright, chic, and beautiful. There’s still too many different colors going on with the accessories – we don’t need everything to match, but we don’t need everything to clash, either – but I think it was daring to choose those shoes, and I worship this iced periwinkle color on her.
Lea Michele in Giorgio Armani at Billboard’s Women in Music Awards
It’s a little figure skater-esque, and this bitch needs to wear something other than black nail polish just once, but I still think she looks quite beautiful. I think the side bangs flatter her face much better than the straight-across bangs, and I think the curves of this dress are quite beautiful. Perfect makeup, too. But she could have styled it up more with better shoes or more jewelry.
Lea Michele in The Row at the Hollywood Style Awards
Oy. This is a straight up disaster. She actually looks like she’s wrapped in a white towel, having just got out of the shower. Like I said, these big bangs don’t do much for her face. Us Jewish-looking ladies know that a side-part is much more flattering to our features. And us tiny girls know better than to wear stiff, almost-but-not-quite full-length gowns that make us look short and squat.
Check back later today for The Month in Celebrity Fashion: Part II!
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© Democracy Diva, 2010.
The Week in Celebrity Fashion: Harry Potter Edition!
Okay, other things are happening on the red carpet besides the Harry Potter premiere, and we’ll get to that, but let’s start with our favorite wizard superstars! (Worry not, Muggles, we’ve got non-magical celebs in this post too.)
Emma Watson in Rafael Lopez at the world premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I in London
The big winner this week is obviously Ms. Hermione Granger herself, who is pulling out all the stops for all the Harry Potter promotional events and premieres. I knew she’d give us something fierce and fabulous, but this bitch looks HOT. I love the sexy little modern flapper dress; it works wonders with her fabulous new pixie cut. And, I know he’s not the foreground in this picture, but can we just talk about how sexy Ron Weasley looks in the poster behind her? Seriously yummy.
Helena Bonham Carter (Bellatrix Lestrange) at the Harry Potter world premiere
As friends of this Diva are well aware, I will be donning my best Bellatrix Lestrange gear when I see the movie next week. But I’m thinking I’d rather just wear this crazy get-up and go as Helena Bonham Carter, who is nearly as fucking nuts as the she-villain she plays. Although, for Ms. Carter, this is downright normal.
Also, I want to meet the people in the Death Eater masks standing behind her. I know they’re fans, but I’m going to pretend that they’re her bodyguards, ready to Crucio the shit out of whoever gets in her way.
Clemence Poesy (Fleur Delacour) at the Harry Potter world premiere
Gorgeous, but seriously matronly. I know Fleur’s getting married in this film, but she’s still playing someone who’s approximately twenty years old. She could go a little more youthful, no?
Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) at the Harry Potter world premiere
Hello, Draco! You can take me over to the Dark side any time, as long as you keep wearing such fabulous suits. Matching your tie to your baby blue eyes was a stroke of pure genius, almost as brilliant as fixing that Vanishing Cabinet in the Room of Requirement so you could sneak the Death Eaters into Hogwarts. (Seriously, it was a good plan.)
James and Oliver Phelps (Fred and George Weasley) at the Harry Potter world premiere
I love American boys as much as the next girl, but goddamit, nobody can wear a suit like British boys. Here are the Weasley twins, barely recognizable without their red hair, rocking some serious digs. I love that these men and Mr. Malfoy are not afraid to incorporate color, texture, and a sexy vest into their attire.
Matthew Lewis (Neville Longbottom) at the Harry Potter world premiere
I just needed to point out to the world that THIS IS WHAT NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM LOOKS LIKE NOW. Holy shit, that boy has grown up deliciously well. I’d let him use his Gryffindor sword on my Horcrux any day, if you know what I mean.
Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, J.K. Rowling and Rupert Grint at the Harry Potter world premiere
Do you think J.K. Rowling and Emma Watson intentionally coordinated their outfits? I hope so. I can’t remember Queen Rowling ever looking so beautiful. And the boys look handsome as ever, but I don’t think they look quite as dapper as Draco and the Weasleys. (That’d be a good band name, no?)
Okay, enough wizardry. Who else strutted the red carpet this week?
Carrie Underwood in Talbot Runhof at the CMAs
I know that I should hate this, and in a normal context I probably would, but my fashion expectations for the CMAs are considerably lower than for most red carpet events. So I’m going to give Carrie a pat on the back for attempting something that’s not white, Grecian, or sparkly. At least she gave us a little intrigue.
Lea Michele at TV Guide’s 2010 Hot List party in Hollywood
Cute dress, but not earth-shattering. It’s refreshing to see her fully clothed and not fellating a lollipop, though.
Miley Cyrus in D&G at the MTV Europe Music Awards
Maybe this saloon whore gown would have been appropriate for the CMAs, but I don’t think Europe is quite ready for this level of American trash.
Blake Lively at the Realm Boutique opening in New York
Dear Blake:
That’s not how belts work.
Love,
The Democracy Diva
P.S. If I can see your shirt peeking out under your skirt, you need to rethink your outfit.
Lauren Conrad in Christian Louboutin sandals
Delicious. Perfect starlet street wear. Easy-going, breezy-chic dress, great accessories, a gorgeous smile, and killer shoes.
Dakota Fanning in Valentino haute couture at the BAFTA Britannia Awards
Oy. Dakota can usually be counted on for something tiny, shiny, lacy, and fierce, but this is a colorless, shapeless mess. She looks like a sad child bride.
Ed Westwick and Georgia Jagger at the London Emerging Designers Party in New York
Yes, that’s Chuck Bass, posing with Mick Jagger’s daughter. It’s good to be young, hot, and British, even for Muggles. And let’s give it up for Ms. Jagger for inheriting badass style and a fabulous pair of lips from her dear old dad. Loving that little red dress.
Eva Longoria Parker in Georges Hobeika at the MTV Europe Music Awards
Terrible. The sleeves, the shoulders, the length, the proportions, the fakest tan since my Halloween Snooki spray tan. It can’t get worse than this…
Eva Longoria Parker in Georges Hobeika at the MTV Europe Music Awards
Looks like I was wrong. Because SHE’S WEARING A GIANT DIAPER PANTY. This isn’t a dress, it’s a vest with tails over granny panties! WHO ALLOWED THIS?
Eva Longoria Parker in Emilio Pucci at the MTV Europe Awards
Oh, good lord. This is the most tranny flamenco dancer garment I’ve seen since Project Runway‘s Casanova. I’m getting convinced that this is just a drag version of Eva Longoria.
Tina Fey accepting the Mark Twain Prize for Humor in Washington, DC
Tina Fey was in my neighborhood this week, being honored with a prize for comedy at the Kennedy Center. And for the second week in a row, this funny bitch rocked the red carpet in a fierce little getup, showing surprising trendiness, a glamorous hairdo, and an old Hollywood glamour.
Rihanna at a holiday event in London
Oh, Rihanna. Always looking terrible, but never hitting rock bottom. Can someone please explain to me what that bulge is around her waist? Did she try to make a fannypack out of papier-mache?
Anne Hathaway in Antonio Berardi at the Love & Other Drugs premiere
Literally perfect from head to toe. Even this Diva Bitch can’t find something negative to say. Keep it up, Annie!
Heidi Klum in Mondo Guerra at AFI FEST 2010’s closing night gala
Finally, the “fuck you” to the Project Runway Gretchen-lovers that we’ve all been waiting for. Dedicated readers will recognize this dress as one of the finale looks from fan favorite Mondo Guerra. You might also remember fellow judge Nina Garcia mocking our dear Heidi with a snappy, “I’d like to see you wear that dress,” referring to a long-sleeved twin of this dress. And of course, not one to be sassed, Queen Heidi wore this dress – and rocked it. It’s nice to know someone associated with that show still has some style – besides the omnipotent Tim Gunn, of course.
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© Democracy Diva, 2010.
The Week in Celebrity Fashion
Blake Lively in Lanvin at the Scream 2010 Awards
This was one of the best looks from Paris Fashion Week, and Blake is nailing it. Not hard, mind you, because the dress does all the work for her. But I suppose we do need someone to stand in it and pull it open so the world can see her vag. Seriously, who poses like that? I’ve seen a dozen different pictures of this dress, and she’s basically a flasher in every one. But a leggy blonde in Lanvin is hard to beat, so she gets a free pass from me (in spite of her black toenail polish).
Kim Kardashian in Georges Hobeika at TAO New York's 10th Anniversaiy party
Problem 1: The breasts. Please look at those strange lines/wrinkles/dimples they make, like she has boobs extending out from boobs. That is so not the way nature-made breasts look.
Problem 2: The illusion of BUSH. I’m sure it’s just dark underwear, but who wears dark underwear under a see-through dress? It saddens me that no one thought to say, “Hey Kim, you’re fabulous, but you’re going a bit Vanessa Hudgens south of the border, so you may want to deal with that.”
Problem 3: The shoulders are like Lady Gaga crossed with angel wings, which sounds awesome in theory, but looks pretty stupid on the red carpet.
Kristen Stewart in Guishem at the Scream 2010 Awards
Can it be? Do I see what I think I see? IS KRISTEN STEWART SMILING?
She sort of is! This is a miracle! And her hair looks totally normally, which is even more rare than a smile from this crazy bitch. The dress is gorgeous, the shoes are killer, and she actually looks gorgeous. Keep it up, girl!
Kristen Stewart in Valentino at the New York screening of Welcome to the Rileys
A step down, but definitely still on the good list. The makeup is a little too heavy for her features. She doesn’t have a face that wears makeup well; the more you pile on, the worse she tends to look. And the smile is gone – she’s back to her usual “Did someone just fart?” face. The hair just looks sloppy and unwashed, but the dress is very beautiful. It has that goth angel look that Kristen Stewart can really nail.
Freida Pinto in Alexander McQueen at the London Film Festival premiere of Miral
Perfection. Cool hair, flawless makeup, and a truly fabulous little dress. I love that the purse, the dress, and the shoes are all black with a hint of gold bling. (Well, perhaps a bit more than a hint.) And best of all, she looks so at home in this, like she’s more comfortable in bejeweled McQueen than in her pajamas.
Freida Pinto in Marchesa at the Abu Dhabi International Film Festival premiere of Miral
Absolutely stunning. My only complaint is that the fabric hangs in a funny way around her ankles. But the bejeweled bustier is phenomenal and the draped skirt is nearly impeccable. And while most starlets would make this look costumey, Ms. Pinto once again looks quite at home in her fabulous digs.
Lady Gaga in London
Because everybody needs a dose of what-the-fuckery from Gaga. She might look like the love child of Taylor Momsen and a Sesame Street character, but the effect is still rather fabulous.
Kat Dennings in Calvin Klein at Elle's Women in Hollywood Tribute in Beverly Hills
I am a huge Kat Dennings fan (not only is she one of the only legitimately funny actresses in film, she’s also Jewish and supremely cool), and I think she looks pretty hot here. The dress doesn’t seem to be laying right, as it’s all wrinkled around her tummy, but that’s not cutting down on the gorgeous factor. It’s great for her figure, professional but stylish, and the heavy makeup works for her. Love the pointy Mary Janes too, of course.
Kiernan Shipka at Elle's Women in Hollywood Tribute in Beverly Hills
It’s Sally Draper. How could I not include a picture of Sally Draper? Also, I’d have punched a puppy for that dress when I was a kid. Perfection.
Kate Hudson in Prabal Gurung at Elle's Women in Hollywood Tribute in Beverly Hills
Ugh. That shoulder piece is tacky and the whole dress looks droopy and sad. I think I’d be able to give the dress my blessing if Kate had bothered to brush her hair in the month preceding this event. There is no excuse for someone that rich to have four inches of roots showing. Go blonde or go brunette – half and half is not your friend. Although her hair looks so processed and destroyed, it may not be able to afford another round of highlights before it just ups and walks away.
Keira Knightley in Nina Ricci at the London premiere of Let Me Go
Keira once again knocks it out of the park, continuing to prance around in fabulous little dresses like it’s her job. (Oh wait, it is. Lucky bitch.) The shoes are mega-awesome, the blazer is obviously to die for, and the dress? Quaint and sweet and utterly fabulous.
Christina Hendricks in Dolce & Gabbana at the Mad Men season 4 finale party in New York City
Ugh, Joanie. Large floral prints stretched over your fabulous figure? That’s just a disgrace to what a bombshell you are. And those bangs are all wrong for you. Those are the wrong shoes, and you’re seriously lacking in bling. Seriously, Team Hendricks, why is no one on their game? Do I have to do everything myself?
Anne Hathaway in Miu Miu for Vogue
Anne Hathaway referencing Audrey Hepburn – it’s simply perfect. An icon of new Hollywood dressed as an icon of old Hollywood, it’s glamour at its most pure. I love contemplative pose and expression. This is why it can be great to have a real actress in these photo shoots – they can convey a depth that many models just can’t.
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© Democracy Diva, 2010.
Lea Michele Photo Shoot for Marie Claire (NSFW)
In researching the controversial Glee for GQ photo shoot, I came across a photo shoot that Lea Michele did for Marie Claire a few weeks ago. I just wanted to compare the GQ photos to a risque photo shoot that I actually approve of. Why? Because this is Lea, or Marie Claire‘s vision of Lea, a 24-year-old actress, and not Rachel, or GQ‘s vision of Rachel, a 16-year-old girl. And she’s not in knee socks, performing fellatio on a lollipop – she’s embracing her sexuality as an adult woman, and that’s something I can respect. So let’s drop the politics and just talk about a beautiful girl in some beautiful clothes.
Lea Michele in Roberto Cavalli
A good cover shot, even though her expression is more “I am controlling you with my mind” than “Full of Glee,” as the cover says. The Cavalli dress is flashy and fabulous; unsurprising qualities for a designer as beloved by Hollywood as Cavalli. I love the black nail polish – when it’s a) black nails instead of black toenails and b) neat and well-manicured enough so we know she doesn’t have a weird fungus, it adds to the style.
Lea Michele in Eres hotpants and Givenchy by Riccardo Tisci boots
This is the photo I discovered through the GQ controversy. Some blogger or commentator mentioned a nude photo shoot Lea did for Marie Claire; I knew she was on the cover, but I didn’t remember her being nude. (And that’s something I would remember.) But this is tastefully done. The tutu she’s holding is fierce, and those shoes are delicious. I’ll take this over Rachel Berry’s blow job lips and twat-shots any day of the week.
Lea Michele in a Marchesa jacket and Givenchy shoes
Stunning photograph. Great expression, great pose, and a jacket and shoes worth killing for. She’s a surprisingly good model for someone who’s fairly new to this sort of work.
Lea Michele in a Dolce & Gabbana bodysuit and Charlotte Olympia heels
I LOVE this pose. It’s incredibly powerful and intense. I also am amazed by how incredibly statuesque she looks here. The girl is barely 5’2″ and they managed to pose her in a way that makes her look absolutely Amazonian.
Lea Michele in a D&G dress and Christian Louboutin heels
Gorgeous dress. I love her in these sort of embellished/destroyed babydoll dresses; they really work on her petite figure and dramatic features.
And I don’t know who made the jacket in the rest of these pictures, but they’re very lovely (if cheesy) shots, so I’ll refrain from further commentary and just let you enjoy some beautiful and fairly wholesome photos of someone who is still one of my favorite women in show business.
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© Democracy Diva, 2010.
Glee Goes Lolita: GQ’s Controversial Photo Shoot (NSFW) (Updated)
*Updated Thursday morning with quotes from the Parents Television Council, GQ‘s editor-in-chief, and Dianna Agron herself!
As you may know, I have a history of complaining about Glee cover stories. But a picture’s worth a thousand words, which is more of the article than I can read without a GQ subscription, so let’s see what GQ’s controversial photo shoot tells us about Glee, and by extension, the universe.
From the little I read of the article, it’s completely unrelated to the photos. They report Glee as it is: lots of nice kids who work hard, joke around, and don’t fuck up, even as they hurtle at breakneck speed into fame. So why do the photographs look like they were confiscated from a raid on How to Catch a Predator?
Ask Terry Richardson, the photographer of this shoot who faced serious allegations of sexual harassment from many of his former clients and employees merely six months ago. Some industry insiders write him off as a “big personality,” but many models have come forward accusing him of coercing them into sexual acts . Model-filmmaker Rie Rasmussen said that he “takes girls who are young, manipulates them to take their clothes off and takes pictures of them they will be ashamed of. They are too afraid to say no.” He claims he’s artistically documenting his own sexual exploits, but others say he finds models willing to do nude photo shoots and pressures them to take pictures of him naked and allow themselves to be photographed performing sexual acts on him. Yes, dear readers, this was the photographer they thought was appropriate for the Glee photo shoot. I just want that creepy image in your mind while you look at these even creepier images. Let’s start the show.
The Cover
Dianna Agron in a Betsey Johnson bra & cardigan and A.P.C. skirt; Cory Monteith in a Gant Rugger rugby shirt and Gant by Michael Bastian pants; Lea Michele in Victoria’s Secret bra & panties, Relwen sweater, Falke socks and Michael Kors heels
A man with a barely-clothed woman on each arm, and a hand on each scantily-clad ass, just the way God intended it. For God’s sake, this is GQ, not Maxim. Did Lea Michele really need to be pantsless? And what’s with her blow job lips? There’s something about that open-mouthed, wet-lipped porno mouth that is totally nauseating. Dianna looks like a nun in comparison, but she’s still showing a helluva lot of skin. But are they Dianna, Corey, and Lea, or are they Quinn, Finn, and Rachel? The schoolgirl outfits for the ladies and varsity jock wear for the man point to the latter.
They continue the good clean fun in this shot, in which I can focus on nothing but how ashamed I am of the the strongly negative reaction I had to Lea Michele’s nose. (I believe I screamed, “WE’RE JEWISH WOMEN! WE DON’T PHOTOGRAPH IN PROFILE!” But honestly, as Fanny Bryce would say, she’s an “American beauty rose with an American beauty NOSE!”) But the blow job lips are ever-present. Cory looks post-coital, Lea looks mid-coital, and Dianna is fucking Terry Richardson with her eyes (I hope only with her eyes). But at least everyone is basically clothed!
Dianna Agron in a vintage cardigan, Victoria’s Secret bra, Spicy Girl shorts; Cory Monteith in a Dolce & Gabbana sweater, Gant by Michael Bastian shirt, Band of Outsiders tie, Club Monaco pants, Timex watch and Smart Turnout watch strap; Lea Michele in a Michael Kors cardigan, Betsey Johnson bra, American Apparel shirt and Falke socks
Finn is in three shirts, a tie, and pants, while the girls wear glorified panties. And again, it’s the girls surrounding him, focusing their bodies and attention on him, while he gropes them and smiles dopily for the camera. (Not blaming Cory for that, though.)
Dianna Agron in a Brooks Brothers cardigan and skirt, Victoria’s Secret bra, Antipast socks and Yves Saint Laurent shoes; Lea Michele in a Rag & Bone blazer, Betsey Johnson bra, American Apparel socks and Miu Miu shoes; Cory Monteith in a Gap hoodie, J.Crew shirt, Fred Perry tie, Gant by Michael Bastian pants
I can’t even get offended by this picture because it’s such a terrible photograph. Dianna and Lea look like pre-op trannies and Cory seems to STILL BE WEARING LAYERS! And now that we’re in what is undoubtedly a high school setting, I’m becoming more uncomfortable with how Lolita this is getting.
Dianna Agron in a Lacoste shirt, Betsey Johnson bra, American Apparel skirt, Miu Miu socks and Christian Louboutin shoes; Lea Michele in a vintage Melet Mercantile tee, American Apparel panties, Hue socks and Christian Louboutin shoes
Lea: Ohmigod, Dianna! There are books here! Let’s take our clothes off and throw them around and jump in the air, because that’s what schoolgirls do!
Dianna: Okay, Lea! I’ll bend over and get ready for some penetration!
Lea Michele in a vintage Melet Mercantile tee, Victoria’s Secret bra, Calvin Klein panties and American Apparel socks
Why is she wearing a baseball tee and athletic socks? I mean, she’s not athletic. She’s in the show choir. Also, why wouldn’t she be wearing pants at her locker? That seems kind of unreasonable. And… um… does she know that’s a lollipop? Because something in her expression makes me feel like that is way more than a lollipop. Ugh. I’m getting the heebie-jeebies.
Seriously, Terry? A Lolita-ed up high school choir priss, holding a lollipop, playing with her hair, wearing little boys’ sports clothes, lingerie, and Barbie heels, and showing you her twat? That’s really original. I don’t think anyone’s every wanted to fuck a schoolgirl before.
Again, my issue here is: I don’t like the blending of underage characters with overtly sexual photo shoots. If Terry photographed Lea, Cory, and Dianna in the nude, I’d be fine with that if they weren’t in character. They’re all in their twenties and mature adults. But keeping them in McKinley High, so that we have to think of them as sixteen-year-olds when we look at them naked? Is that really necessary?
Cory Monteith in an Armani jacket, Calvin Klein shirt, Uniqlo tie and Diesel jeans
Look! Cory is STILL FULLY CLOTHED IN MULTIPLE LAYERS. And he’s the only one who looks awesome in what he’s wearing, because, you know, he gets to wear clothes. That tie is pretty cute.
Cory Monteith in a Gucci coat, Gant Rugger sweater, and Diesel jeans
He’s still fully clothed! And that coat is stunning. Cory’s the only one who gets to wear anything interesting (because he’s the only one who gets to wear anything at all).
Dianna Agron in a Michael Kors sweater, Victoria’s Secret bra, D&G skirt and Christian Louboutin heels
Ah, the sexy cheerleader: inspiring slutty trick-or-treaters for decades. But I don’t know what’s more distracting – the fact that I can see her fallopian tubes from here, or the giant red pennant pointing right into her ass. Do we really need a “look at my twat” shot from Lea AND Dianna? I’d think one would be enough.
They kept Dianna consistently more clothed than Lea, even though Quinn is supposed to be the sexy one and Rachel is the virginal priss. Dianna’s certainly not covered up, but she’s also not tearing off her clothes or silently offering you a blow job through the camera. At least she looks strong and empowered in some of these shots, whereas Lea only looks like a child prostitute.
And the white socks? In every shot? You don’t have to drive home the schoolgirl point any harder, Terry. We get it.
So? Did you take offense to any of this? This Diva does not blush at a little nudity (or a lot), but the objectification of women and especially the pornification of young girls is something she strongly opposes. This is not about loving or hating Glee. This is about why these girls – and only the GIRLS – to dress like jailbait and rip their clothes off. The stark contrast between Finn and the girls proves that this isn’t about objectifying Glee, or the subjects of your photography in general. When you put two naked schoolgirls on the arms of a fully-clothed man for an entire photo shoot, you’re making a statement. A statement that we should probably look for your name on our local Sexual Offender Registry. Or at least a statement about the role of women: In this shoot, we’re mere objects to be dolled up and stripped down for your viewing pleasure.
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Update 1: The Parents Television Council’s statement, and GQ‘s response to the controversy
The Parents Television Council released the following statement regarding this photo shoot:
“It is disturbing that GQ, which is explicitly written for adult men, is sexualizing the actresses who play high school-aged characters on ‘Glee’ in this way. It borders on pedophilia. By authorizing this kind of near-pornographic display, the creators of the program have established their intentions on the show’s direction. And it isn’t good for families.”
And Jim Nelson, editor-in-chief of GQ, responded with the following:
“The Parents Television Council must not be watching much TV these days and should learn to divide reality from fantasy. As often happens in Hollywood, these ‘kids’ are in their twenties. Cory Montieth’s almost 30! I think they’re old enough to do what they want.”
Really, Jim? Is it us, the readers, who are too stupid to “divide reality from fantasy” and understand that these are 20-something actors? Are you actually going to entirely ignore the fact that these women are photographed in undoubtedly high school settings and dressed as pornified school girls? Dianna is holding a (very phallic) prop that says WMHS, which is of course William McKinley High School, the name of the school they attend on Glee. I’m not sure we’re the ones with the problem, GQ. I think it may be you who has the inability to separate reality from fantasy. And even if you can’t make a pseudo-pedophilic argument about these photos, aren’t they still offensive from a feminist perspective? No one cares that Cory’s almost 30 – because he’s the only one who gets to wear clothes. If dressing up 20-something women as slutty fantasy version of their high school characters in a high school setting isn’t offensive based on the ages of their characters, it’s still offensive that GQ can’t come up with a better concept for a photo shoot than schoolgirl sluts draped around a jock.
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Update 2: Dianna Agron’s response on her personal blog
Thanks to my dear friend Cecile, who both introduced me to this photo shoot AND provided me the link to Dianna’s response.
“I’d like to start by saying that these are solely my thoughts on the November issue of GQ and the controversy that has surrounded its release. I am not a representative of the three of us, the show, or Fox, only myself… For GQ, they asked us to play very heightened versions of our school characters. A ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ version. At the time, it wasn’t my favorite idea, but I did not walk away. I must say, I am trying to live my life with a sharpie marker approach. You can’t erase the strokes you’ve made, but each step is much bolder and more deliberate. I’m moving forward from this one, and after today, putting it to rest. I am only myself, I can only be me. These aren’t photos I am going to frame and put on my desk, but hey, nor are any of the photos I take for magazines. Those are all characters we’ve played for this crazy job, one that I love and am so fortunate to have, each and every day. If you asked me for my dream photo shoot, I’d be in a treehouse, in a wild costume, war-paint and I’d be playing with my pet dragon. Until then…”
I only took excerpts from her full statement, but I think this is a very mature response. She encourages parents to keep their children away from these and similarly risque photos, and admits that she didn’t love the idea, but she stayed, and just wants to put it behind her. But I’m not sure how GQ can continue to claim “they’re 20-somethings! They’re not their high school characters!” when the magazine actually instructed Dianna and Lea to play “very heightened version of [their] school characters.” So, which is it, GQ? Are they “heightened” (read: pornified, objectified, over-sexualized) versions of Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry? Or are they independent twenty-something women who just happened to be dressed as schoolgirls and just happened to be frolicking around a high school with the same name as the school their characters attend?
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© Democracy Diva, 2010.
Milan Fashion Week’s Best Looks
Three fashion weeks down, one to go! Here’s the hottest looks Milan Fashion Week had to offer. Next stop, Paris!
5. Glammed-Up Classics
Moschino Spring 2011
The dress is simple, chic, and utter perfection. And although this look clearly has never heard Coco Chanel’s advice about taking off one accessory before you leave the house, this is as glamorous as simplicity gets. The beauty of this dress is its versatility – you could see a hipster-starlet like Carey Mulligan rocking it with no jewelry and a pixie cut, but this model is styled like the richest lady at the rodeo and she is still nailing it.
4. Can’t Get Enough of Coats
Salvatore Ferragamo Spring 2011
I love the color – it’s like the love child of mustard yellow and olive green. And don’t we all need a good full-length trench to match our swimsuits? I know I do. Seriously, though, this coat is heavenly. Very rainy London afternoon (not that I’d ever dream of getting this coat wet).
3. Back to Basics
Versace Spring 2011
This is the perfect combination of retro and futuristic. We’ve still got a minimalist mod vibe (loving the buttons), but those straps modernize the look. And the shoes? I haven’t seen something so alien-chic since Alexander McQueen’s Spring 2010 collection. It’s amazing how Versace can provide such a strong point of view with such simple elements.
2. The Female Tux
Francesco Scognamiglio Spring 2011
I want to see the celebrity who can rock this sexy cream tuxedo at a red carpet event. Totally luxe, totally chic, and you’ll be sure to stand out in a sea of glittery cocktail dresses and shimmering gowns.
1. Grandma Chic Done Right
Dolce & Gabbana Spring 2011
Half the fabric is my grandmother’s tablecloth; the other half is the upholstery on her couch. Yet somehow these two old lady fabrics combine into one sexy and breathtaking dress. The collection was filled with white lace vintage undergarment-inspired looks, with splashes of black lace, leopard print, and fabulous flowery prints thrown in for a little more sex appeal and intrigue. Most of the looks were closer to lingerie than wearable garments, but this dress bridged the gap. Romantic, sexy, and above all, luxurious.
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If you liked Milan Fashion Week, you’ll love my coverage of New York Fashion Week and London Fashion Week!
The Week in Celebrity Fashion
A quick break from the Spring 2011 collections to pop in on our favorite celebs and see who wore what this week.
The Front Rows
Kylie Minogue at the Dolce & Gabbana Spring 2011 show in Milan
You don’t even need to see the full dress to know how fucking good Ms. Minogue looks. The color and texture of that dress are astounding. The Louboutin shoes are killer, her legs look beautiful, and she’s basically glowing. Women half her age could only pray to look so good.
Cat Deeley at the Burberry Prorsum Spring 2011 show in London
Another gorgeous Burberry military jacket? Yes, please! Cat looks totally anglo-chic in her fierce coat, skinny jeans, and boots. Casual enough so she doesn’t look like she’s trying too hard, but effortlessly fashionable at the same time.
Taylor Swift at the Roberto Cavalli Spring 2011 show in Milan
My jaw dropped when I saw this photo. I could never imagine that T-Swift could look so fashionable. Don’t get me wrong, she always looks cute enough, but she’s all about the boring, red carpet-friendly white Grecian gowns, flashy red frocks, and glittery cocktail dresses. She usually dresses the way you’d expect a country-pop tween star to dress. But this is so many things I’ve never seen Taylor be before: urban, fashion-forward, and mature. The blouse and skirt as individual items are only okay, but paired together with that styling, they look totally hip. The textured stockings are beyond gorgeous, and I’d skin a puppy for those boots. The eyeliner is encroaching on Taylor Momsen territory, but the hair is gorgeous. Swifty, your new stylist deserves a bonus!
Rachel Bilson at the Roberto Cavalli Spring 2011 show in Milan
Well, there you go. From head to toe, that’s exactly what I’d like to wear for the rest of my life.
Fugliest Divas
Lea Michele in Jose Duran at the PETA Gala
Well, you can’t win them all. Those triangle boob-toppers are downright awful, as is the puckering on every single seam on this dress. The hem is a disaster, and the stiff fabric looks like it sort of just collapsed on the floor. The cut is unflattering, the dress itself is boring, and LEA! HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING FROM READING MY BLOG? Don’t you know by now NOT TO WEAR DARK TOE NAIL POLISH ON THE RED CARPET?!
Christina Aguilera in Versace at the LACMA Awards
Can someone please tell me when Christina Aguilera turned into the drag version of Christina Aguilera? She’s like a caricature of herself, if that caricature taped his dick back while booty-dropping to “Dirrty” in a seedy gay club.
Best Dressed Nobody
Odette Yustman in J. Mendel at the You Again premiere
This biddie is starring in You Again, which in spite of having Betty White, Kristin Chenoweth and Cloris Leachman in it looks like it may be the worst move of all time. But HELLO, GORGEOUS! Even though it’s basically a carbon copy of the Jason Wu gown Diane Kruger wore to the SAG Awards, it’s still a refreshing look, particularly for a Hollywood noob.
Worst Dressed of the Week
Julianne Moore at the Iconoclasts season five premiere
I have so many questions. Are the pants dirty, or are they supposed to have smudges of white dust all over them? Who wears above-the-ankle strappy shoes with pants that almost reach them? Why are there so many buckles on those pants? What purpose could that possibly serve? Is she wearing a blazer with no shirt underneath? What unfortunate color are her toenails painted? Why do her feet look misshapen, pink, and angry? And why does she seem to have aged fifteen years in the last six months?
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Stay informed on all things fabulous! Don’t miss my coverage of New York Fashion Week, London Fashion Week, and Milan Fashion Week!
Weekly Fashion Recap
This Diva starts law school tomorrow, so your weekly fashion recap (soon-to-be a ‘whenever I’m not briefing cases’ fashion recap) is a tad early this week. Enjoy some fabulous!
Best Nobody
Marcel Ames, Saks fashion consultant
Now this is menswear done right. The jacket fits him like a dream, the color of the suit is perfect, and those shoes are amazing. Also, this is exactly what a fashion consultant should wear to a hipster party in Brooklyn. So kudos to Marcel for living up to his profession.
Aging Ungracefully
Pamela Anderson
An ill-fitting jumper that looks like the cover-ups they give you when you get your haircut, boots that look like they’re made of plastic, hair that has been tortured, peroxided, tousled and fried to death, and skin that appears to be melting off her face. Pam Anderson, get your life together.
Worst Starlet We Love
Anna Kendrick in Elise Overland
I love me some Anna Kendrick, but this is a hot disaster. The colors and fabrics are just sad and drab; the rouching just gives an overall effect of droopiness. And the proportions are all wrong, from the shoulder pieces to the length. The fabric curving out at her hips is totally unflattering, and the shoes were a rookie mistake. And that’s not a hairstyle, that’s what you do when only half your hair is blow-dried and you’re running around your apartment like a maniac looking for your eyeliner. She just looks rigid and uncomfortable, which is the worst fashion crime of them all.
Celebrities Finally Updating their Styles
Rachel Zoe
Celebrity stylist/reality TV icon Rachel Zoe has the skills to make other women look fabulous, but I generally dislike the way she looks. She always wears her hair the same way (down and wavy), and she tends to choose flimsy little dresses that emphasize how deathly thin she is. But Rachel’s finally broken out of her bubble, and she looks absolutely amazing. This hairstyle is much more flattering to her face and makes her look younger than ever. And when you cover her up with enough material, you can forget how badly she needs to eat a sandwich and just appreciate her beauty. Plus, every part of this ensemble is absolutely perfect, from shoulders to sleeves and purse to shoes. I’m loving her new look and I hope she keeps it, because it. Is. Bananas.
Jennifer Aniston in Dolce & Gabbana
I think Jennifer Aniston is one of the most boring people alive. And if I see one more photo of her in a Grecian dress with her stick-straight hair down, I’m going to have a conniption. So you can imagine my relief when, like Rachel Zoe, Jen finally put her hair up and changed up her look. This dress is killer. Fits her like a dream, and it’s so much more structured and tailored than what she usually wears. The fringe at the bottom is great, like a subtle nod to the 1920s flappers, and the Gucci peep-toe slingbacks are beyond beautiful. This is the first time I’ve liked Jen’s look in years, but somehow I’m sure she’ll go back to disappointing me next week.
The Worst and Worst of Julia Roberts
Julia Roberts in Dries Van Noten
Jesus. This is about as matronly as it gets. I mean, I’m glad she’s not most 40-something Hollywood women running around in dresses more suitable for Miley Cyrus, but just because you’re not dressing like a teenager doesn’t mean you have to dress like the mother of the bride. The long sleeves, the high neck, the big tacky florals, and the god-awful kelly green shoes – none of it is working for me, Julia.
Julia Roberts
Oh, Lord. Not only is this matronly, it’s like trashy Boca Raton resort matronly. This looks like something a golddigging fifty-something wannabe cougar wears while shopping for horrifically tiny bikinis. But at least the shoes are cute.
The Creative Arts Emmys
Christina Hendricks in Christian Siriano
Christina Hendricks
I only like this dress from certain angles, because this baby has a LOT going on, but I think it’s a huge victory for Christina and Christian. Mad Men‘s Joan looks more beautiful than ever, with absolutely flawless hair and makeup. And let’s applaud Christian Siriano for actually knowing how to make a dress for a woman with tits! Her bust has never looked better. From the waist up, the dress is flawless, but I don’t think the skirt needs quite so many layers. It’s a lot of look, but Hendricks is a lot of woman, and I’m loving the drama of it all.
David Burtka and Neil Patrick Harris
First of all, my most heartfelt congratulations to David and NPH, who are going to be parents to TWINS! And that’s not the only double bundle of joy in their lives – Neil won two Creative Arts Emmys last night! One for his guest appearance on Glee, and one for hosting the TONY awards. No couple is more deserving of such happiness, and not just because they look so fucking delicious here. I like that David went just a tad more casual and Neil went a tad more formal. They look absolutely perfect.
The Weekly Fashion Recap
Fabulous FLOTUS
First Lady Michelle Obama in Jason Wu Resort 2009
Classic Americana worn by classy Americans. MObama looks gorgeous in blue Jason Wu. The bows around her waist are cute, and I love the way the dress accentuates her fabulous figure, as if to say I’ve got hips and I love it! Those famous arms (Tom & Lorenzo hilariously referred to them as the “First Guns”) are looking toned as ever, and of course the chunky bracelets are super-trendy. I could do without the shoes, but at least they show that she’s making the effort to have fun with her wardrobe, and isn’t that the point of fashion?
Also, can I just say that I love how often the Obamas are photographed holding hands? As a child raised in the Clinton years, it’s so refreshing to see a First Couple that’s actually in love.
Another Disaster from Rihanna
Are dresses that require a generator becoming a trend? Because I refuse to get behind that. First it was Katy Perry at the Met Gala, now it’s Rihanna. All my least favorite celebrities are donning light-up costumes – next thing you know, Kristen Stewart will mope around the red carpet in a light bulb dress with her hair looking like shit. I’m not sure what concerns me more – the light-up dress, or the fact that her hair color is brighter than the light bulbs. Ladies, reduce your carbon footprint and your fashion faux pas, and nix the light-up dresses, please.
Floral and Fierce
This Diva is fully obsessed with this dress. The sleeve hitting right above the elbow is super-trendy right now, and it always looks great. I love the print and the shape, and that little rainbow belt is just the perfect touch of whimsy (plus it accentuates her teensy little waist). Also, was this photo taken through a time machine? Because SJP is looking suspiciously fresh-faced and beautiful. Keep it up, girl.
The Best and Worst of Lady Gaga
Nope. Words can’t do this one justice. All I can say is Where the Wild Things Are meets car wash meets Cousin It.
Lady Gaga at Lollapalooza
This, on the other hand, is why I love Gaga. The crazy wild hair, the signature sunglasses (a Lady never shows her eyes, I suppose), and a purple, seemingly plastic leopard print leotard! It’s weird, sure, but it’s fabulous and fashion-forward. And I’m a huge supporter of nude fishnets to add subtle sex to any outfit. This is a fabulous reminder that though sometimes Gaga’s performance art goes totally off the wall, she’s capable of bringing crazy fashion to a more accessible place.
How to Travel in Style
It helps to be the most beautiful woman alive, but Freida Pinto nails some essential fashion tricks: mixing black, brown, and blue; and looking chic while traveling comfortably. Let’s start with how insanely beautiful she looks even though she hardly looks like she’s wearing makeup. This woman is a goddess. And she’s a master at airport chic – a comfortable yet chic tank and sweater, a loose but fashionable skirt, tights to stay warm on the plane, and flats that are easily removable at security or while napping in first class. Her suitcase is beyond gorgeous, and I love the smoky greyish blue color of that skirt. Effortless and travel-friendly, but still beyond fabulous.
Haute Hermione
Emma Watson in Alice by Temperley
By now we all know that Emma Watson (better known as Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter films) has cut her hair and looks incredible. She’s rocking the pixie cut harder than anyone since Mia Farrow, and after ten years of being our favorite bushy-haired, brilliant witch, she deserves the freedom to cut it all off and do something new. She’s certainly got the perfect facial features to pull it off, and she looks so much older and more sophisticated, but still youthful and modern. And although this may actually be a romper, she looks fierce as hell promoting Deathly Hallows in this long-sleeved lace ensemble.
My only concern with her haircut is that this kind of cut tends to look very awkward in the growing-out stage. And since Part 1 of Deathly Hallows will hit theaters in November (::squeals with excitement::), Ms. Watson will have an ass-load of red carpets to hit, first to promote the film, and then the premieres in LA, New York, London, and every other city on earth. So I’m just hoping her events planner and her hair stylist sit down together and ensure that this fabulous bitch’s hair will look fierce all over the world this fall.
The Material Girl
Madonna celebrated her 52nd birthday the way all of us should – by looking half her age. I think Madonna has never looked better. The hair is curly, wild, and fabulous (though I’d touch up the roots), and the makeup/Botox/face lifts are really working, because her skin looks flawless. The dress is simultaneously mega-hot and totally classy, which is a difficult line to walk. Again, the sleeve hitting right above the elbow is totally adorable (and it covers up her crazy arms). Her figure is as petite and perfect as ever, she’s rocking fishnets and a badass fishnetty glove, and she’s still rocking a cross like it’s 1986. I don’t know if she sold her soul to the devil for a fountain of youth or just has the best plastic surgeon on the planet, but whatever her secret is, I want it.
Worst of the Week: Paris Does Marilyn
Where do I start? How about the bandage dress, which is designed to suck in every part of your body, but somehow makes Paris look like she’s in her second trimester. And the clown makeup? Paris may be a sex icon, but she does not have a beautiful face. Her squinty-eyed, long-nosed face just can’t handle makeup like this (actually, I’m not sure anyone’s face can). Her fake tan is disturbingly orange, she’s wearing a fur coat in AUGUST, and why is she playing dress-up to the launch of her perfume? Is she that desperate for attention? (Well, duh. She’s Paris Hilton.) Also, can we talk about the fact that her perfume is called ‘Tease’? Paris, darling, you’re not a tease. You are the star of one of the world’s most infamous celebrity sex tapes. You’re easy like Sunday morning. You don’t entice men and then leave them wanting more – honey, you give it all away! Perhaps your fragrance should be called “filthy tramp” instead, just for the sake of accuracy.
Best of the Week
WOW. Dianna Agron (better known to Glee fans as pregnant ex-Cheerio Quinn Fabray) has always been beautiful, but she’s never really popped on the red carpet until now. This dress is original, whimsical, and innovative – not to mention it fits her like a dream. It’s not what the average twenty-something starlet wears, and that’s what makes it look so damn good. The shoes are Manolo Blahniks, and they are beautiful. And even though she might be rocking a Bump-It, I think she looks absolutely flawless.
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The Democracy Diva 
