The Month in Celebrity Fashion: Part I

Dear readers, it has been far too long. I thank you for your patience while this Diva was cramming for finals. But if you thought my absence meant that you’d miss out on all the fabulous in the world, fear not! I present to you a cornucopia of the last few weeks in celebrity fashion – in multiple parts, to prolong your delectable blogging experience. Take it away, fabulous!

Angelina: Mother of the Vampire Bride

Angelina Jolie in Versace at the New York premiere of The Tourist

A beautiful and sexy gown, but I do wish Ange would branch out a little more on the red carpet. She almost never wears colors of any kind, and it’s equally impossible to find her in prints, funky silhouettes, or basically anything unique. Ms. Jolie needs to step out of her comfort zone and wear something outside her usual aesthetic of slutty mother-of-the-bride at a vampire wedding.

Angelina Jolie in Versace at the European premiere of The Tourist

Another perfect example of Angie’s fashion faux pas: this Elvira/Morticia Adams thing went out of style in the 90s. The sleeves that go straight into gloves are just absurd, and the trannylicious hair and makeup is almost hilariously bad.

Angelina Jolie in Atelier Versace at the Madrid premiere of The Tourist

An improvement, certainly, but it’s clear that she won’t leave her witch-goddess look behind. From the waist up, she’s every glitzy, unoriginal Hollywood starlet; from the waist down, she’s a lush velvet snuggie. Angie, darling, you are no longer the brother-kissing, blood-vial-wearing, Billy Bob Thorton-fucking creeperdoodle of your youth. Since those days, you’ve added half a dozen kids, the hottest baby-daddy in the world, and all kinds of philanthropic shenanigans to your life. It’s long past time for a new stylist.

Black Swan Starlets Get Fabulous

Natalie Portman in Christian Dior at the New York premiere of Black Swan

Simple and borderline boring, but exactly what you should wear to the premiere of your ballerina thriller. Loving the Lolita purse. The effect of the droopy sleeves is a little sad, and I wish she had more eye makeup on to counterbalance all that lipstick.

Natalie Portman in Christian Dior at the FINCA 25th anniversary party in New York

Smile, Natalie! Your hot and your movie is getting all kinds of delectable buzz. Plus, the dress is cute and this hair and makeup flatters

Natalie Portman in Lanvin for H&M at the Gotham Independent Film Awards in New York

I’m fully obsessed with the new Lanvin collection for H&M. I stopped shopping at H&M a few years back when I realized everything I purchased there fell apart within a few wears (with the exception of the dress I bought for my sixteenth birthday, which I still own and plan on wearing when I lose the weight that law school made me gain). But one of the finest French designers in the world, making hot little $200 party dresses? Delectable. The bubbly shoulder is a little awkward on Ms. Portman – but for how cheap this dress was, how can I really complain? The hair and makeup are flawless, the purse is great, but Natalie, don’t think I didn’t notice that you’re wearing the same shoes you wore in the previous photo! Time for a new pair of Loubs, missy!

Mila Kunis in Elie Saab at the Black Swan premiere

I was all set to say that starlets need to stop wearing the same Elie Saab gowns over and over again, because this is just a winter white version of Lea Michele’s SAG Awards dress from last January, but apparently that dress wasn’t even Elie Saab. It was Catherine Malandrino. So go figure.

Regardless, although Mila went for the standard “Look at me, bitches!” gown, she is looking mighty fierce. The black nail polish, the amazing shoes, the bangles, the earrings, and the impeccable makeup are all making this basic dress look mighty stylish.

Mila Kunis at an Armani event in Los Angeles

But I much prefer the blazer, skinny pants, and fierce heels of this look. She may be in LA, but this is New York chic all the way. Love the hair.

We Get It, Michelle. You’re a Hipster.

Michelle Williams in Azzaro at the Blue Valentine premiere

You have to have a certain kind of face to pull off a platinum blonde pixie cut. I think Michelle Williams has that face, but I think the outfits she pairs with her haircut are just too hipster and not flattering enough. She’s surprisingly broad-shouldered for such a small woman, and this dress is emphasizing that rather than hiding it. The stupid bow and tiered skirt make this look more French maid than red carpet. It’s polished and put together nicely, but a pigeonhole is still a pigeonhole, even if you limit yourself to alterna-girl hipster-chic party dresses. Step outside the box, Michelle.

Michelle Williams at a New York screening of Blue Valentine

All I can hear is Cher Horowitz’s dad in Clueless saying, “What are you wearing? That looks like underwear” when she appears in her tiny little Calvin Klein minidress. This is like that, only it makes her look man-shouldered and awkward instead of young and beautiful.

The Rising Classiness of Katy Perry

Katy Perry in a Georges Chakra Couture dress and Brian Atwood pumps at the Grammy Nominations concert in Los Angeles

I have always hated Katy Perry – does the world REALLY need another no-talent hack who sells records based solely on the fact that she’s a big-titted girl who sings about kissing other girls – but even this Diva must admit that her fashion sense has absolutely exploded lately. The girl who used to insist on bright blue Betty Page wigs and figure skating costumes on the red carpet has blossomed into a woman who realizes that she can be sexy even without whipped cream shooting out of her nipples. This dress isn’t my style at all, but at least it’s mature but still youthful, elegant, and sexy. But Katy, as long as you’re making such wonderful wardrobe changes, please heed my advice: Dress a size bigger and you’ll look a size smaller. A dress doesn’t need to squash your boobs and tummy into oblivion.

Katy Perry in a Zuhair Murad dress and Brian Atwood pumps

Like the dress before it, this is still flashy and sexy enough for a pop star, but not at all costumey. (But, I spot another repeat shoe offender! Katy, I know you love those leg-lengthening nude pumps, but not for two different red carpets in the same week, please!) Note the hair and makeup – classy, with a bit of 1960s fun to it. We’ve come a long way, kittens. And, though skintight, this dress might not have looked as good in a size bigger, so kudos!

Katy Perry in Elie Saab couture at the premiere of The Tempest

Flawless. Borderline bridal, but I think it’s silvery-gray enough to be just a stunning couture gown. Great accessories, and Katy again proves that she absolutely glows when her hair is wavy and relaxed and her makeup is heavy on the eyeliner and light on everything else. She’s never looked so beautiful.

Katy Perry in Issa at the David Lynch Foundation’s benefit in New york

A step down from the last look, but not by too much. Sure, the dress is tacky, but she is still Katy Perry. You can’t expect her to give up her love of all things kitschy overnight. And let’s be honest – we know what Katy looks like when she goes truly tacky, and this ain’t it. The hair has too much product in it and the makeup is too heavy-handed, and the whole dress should be lifted up an inch or two, because those tatties aren’t going to hold themselves up. But it’s not terrible, all things considered.

Get A Haircut, Carey Mulligan

Carey Mulligan in Prabal Gurung at the British Independent Film Awards

Literally perfect from the neck down, but that hair has become a disaster. The worst part of a short haircut is growing it out, and so we must suffer through Carey’s awkward phases while she attempts to rid herself of the Rosemary’s Baby look. But I love the dress and the purse beyond belief. So she gets a pass.

Carey Mulligan in Erdem at the Dubai Film Festival

This, on the other hand, is a head-to-toe nightmare. Apparently part of the hair growth process involves a stop at a beauty pageant in 1980s Kentucky, because that ‘do is seriously cheesy. The print on that dress looks like psychedelic vomit, and what’s going on with the length? Completely unflattering. Oh, and SMILE, BITCH! Your hair may suck and your style isn’t always top notch, but you’re thin as a rail and rich as a king. Cheer the fuck up.

Jessica Alba Steals Dakota Fanning’s Shoes

Jessica Alba in Miu Miu at the label’s boutique opening in London

I loathe every fiber of Jessica Alba’s being, but this dress is pretty fucking cute. The hair is stupid and the purse doesn’t match, but this little Miu Miu number is pretty cute, if a little cock-eyed around the bust.

Oh, good lord, I want to slap this girl in the fact, and not only for this boring dress and that stupid face. Jessica, I know you stole Dakota Fanning’s fierce Louboutins. Worse than that, you paired them with a white dress. Just stop existing now, please.

Blondes Have More Fun

Carrie Underwood in Jenny Packham at the CMT Artists of the Year awards

I mean, it’s a country music awards ceremony. And not even a particularly popular one. Do you really expect something better than this? What a nightmare. Fire your stylist.

Carrie Underwood in Georges Chakra at the American Country Awards

Better, but still a little tacky and unoriginal, but that’s country music for you. (Cheap shot, I know.) I’ve seen this dress a hundred times, but at least it’s not mortifying and her hair and makeup look nice.

Reese Witherspoon in a Dolce & Gabbana dress and Jimmy Choo heels

Adorable.

Reese Witherspoon in Zac Posen at the LA premiere of How Do You Know

Oof. I probably wouldn’t be so picky if it weren’t Reese Witherspoon, but I spot a lot of problems. Those giant-toed shoes look absurd. The design on that dress is immature and not very flattering. Her chin looks even larger than usual. Her makeup was clearly not done by a professional. And girl, touch up those roots! Are you really showing up at your own movie premiere with black roots and blonde highlights?

Gossip Girls

Leighton Meester at an Herbal Essences promotional event in Madrid

Awesome. Simple and flawless hair, makeup, and dress allow this look to be all about those KILLER shoes. And do I spot pockets in this dress? Even more epic.

Leighton Meester at the Gotham Independent Film Awards in New York

I want to hate this, but I can’t. I think she looks totally cute, and with better hair and makeup, she would have been an absolute knockout. Menswear for women has absolutely rocked the last few seasons of fashion, so why can’t a woman wear a fierce suit and tie on the red carpet?

Leighton Meester in Christian Dior at an LA screening of Country Strong

This reminds me a little too much of the Marc Jacobs dress she wore back in September, except with shoes that don;t match, an ugly bracelet, and way too much lipstick. It’s probably a cute dress, but the styling is too much of a mess.

Blake Lively in a Prabal Gurung dress and Christian Louboutin booties at the Footwear News Achievement Awards in New York

Is it just me, or does Blake look totally wasted? I mean, if I were going to the fucking Footwear News Achievement Awards, I’d get pretty drunk myself, but there’s something about that shit-eating grin that just screams “There’s an empty bottle of tequila in my limo!” Love this dress from the waist down, hate it from the waist up. Those crinkled shoulders are not really a style that looks good on anybody, and those shoes are just distracting.

Blake Lively in Chanel at the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund Awards in New York

How many lace sheer-bottomed dresses can one woman wear? And isn’t this just Emma Watson’s dress from the Deathly Hallows world premiere, but upside-down? And why are her breasts glowing? I just have so many questions.

Blake Lively in Versace at Lorraine Schwartz’s jewelry collection launch in New York

I sort of love this fringey flapper look. I think if Blake’s tits weren’t itching to escape from the dress, it might look better. She also should have worn it in a color that doesn’t wash her out so badly. Plus, those thick-strapped sandals, the chunky bracelets, and the black nail and toenail polish overpower this light, breezy gown.

The Fabulous Life of Anne Hathaway

Anne Hathaway in Dolce & Gabbana at the Gotham Independent Film Awards in New York

Beautiful, if a little boring. But Annie’s got old Hollywood beauty and a timeless style, and that can never really go wrong.

Anne Hathaway at a New York screening of Love and Other Drugs

Oh. I guess I spoke too soon. This skirt is absolutely ridiculous, the makeup is downright clownish, and the straps to those shoes look like bondage.

Anne Hathaway arriving at the Late Night with Jimmy Fallon studio in New York

There’s the Princess Mia we know and love. Beyond being the most beautiful woman in Hollywood, Anne Hathaway truly has the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.

Anne Hathaway in an Oscar de la Renta dress and Jimmy Choo shoes at the Sydney premiere of Love and Other Drugs

Not my favorite. Who chose silver shoes with a gold dress? I also think this dress looks way too cheap to be Oscar de la Renta. But how could anybody say no to that smile?

Anne Hathaway in Brian Atwood shoes at a press conference in Sydney

Same shoes she wore in the first picture, but that’s more forgivable, because I think these events were about a month apart. This is sort of junior prom-esque, but it’s fun and the sleeves are pretty and I bet it doesn’t look so weirdly sparkly in person.

Anne Hathaway in Oscar de la Renta at a banquet in Oslo, Norway

Definitely one of my favorite Annie looks of all time. This is how a fucking movie star dresses. This is Anne Hathaway saying, “Damn right I’m co-hosting the Oscars! And you can expect six hundred costume changes, all of which will knock your fucking socks off!” Totally original but still a classic Hollywood look.

Drag Queen or Pop Diva? Christina Goes Burlesque

Christina Aguilera in Zuhair Murad at the London premiere of Burlesque

For several years now, at least since she had her baby, Christina Aguilera has only appeared in public looking like a drag queen imposter of herself. Certainly the Burlesque premiere is the appropriate time to tranny it up, but Christina is still young. There is absolutely no reason for her hair and makeup to look like that. What is it that her stylists are trying so hard to cover up? She’s still totally bangin’, you just can’t tell because of all the crap she’s always wearing. What a shame.

Christina Aguilera at the Berlin premiere of Burlesque

The dress is kind of great, like a modern version of something Cher would wear, which is pretty appropriate, given the event. But the hair! The makeup! Good lord, is that a pink braid wrapped around her head? And how much lipstick do you think she goes through in a week?

Repeat Offender: Eva Mendes

Eva Mendes in Prada at the Marrakech Film Festival

Another famous-for-being-hot no-talent that I love to hate, here’s Eva Mendes doing her best saloon whore impression. The slight differences in color between her skin, her shoes, her dress, and her purse are so distracting. But it’s not the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen her wear…

Eva Mendes in Christian Dior at the Marrakech Film Festival

… because this is. Seriously? We’re seriously going to start wearing this color? A floor-length  satin banana yellow gown with white embellishments? Oh, and brush your fucking hair, Eva. You’re wearing Dior. Show some respect.

WTF Moment of the Month: Marion Cotillard

Marion Cotillard in Christian Dior at the Marrakech Film Festival

I actually screamed out loud when I realized the woman in this photo was Marion Cotillard, who I usually consider one of the more beautiful and stylish women in Hollywood. (I mean, she’s French! How could she not out-fabulous us all?) But apparently I was extraordinarily mistaken. There’s just so much wrong here. First, CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT PERM? I mean, I just cannot even fathom how someone thought this would be a good idea. This is such a clear example of celebrities who surround themselves with yes-men, who fawn over them and tell them how oh-so-fashion-forward they look when they really just look like hot tranny messes. At least, I hope that’s the explanation, otherwise someone ACTUALLY BELIEVED MARION LOOKED GOOD LIKE THIS.

And the makeup is almost as bad. Totally overdone. Though it’s practically demure compared to this gown, which is possibly the stupidest thing on earth. If someone described a feathered halter dress with a giant peekaboo cleavage hole and a giant blue leopard print all over it, you’d prescribe them an anti-psychotic medication immediately. But here Marion is, in the worst Dior creation I’ve ever seen, and looking mighty pregnant in it at that.

Marion Cotillard in Christian Dior at the Marrakech Film Festival

Oh, thank the lord. Someone threw a decent dress on her, scraped off that clown makeup, and straightened that godforsaken perm. It’s still kind of lumpy and misshapen, and I’m not convinced she’s not with child, but it’s a complete 180 from the dress before, so I can’t complain.

Gleeks Gone Glam

Gwyneth Paltrow in Monique Lhuillier receiving her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

Recent Glee guest star (who, it is rumored, will be returning to the show) rocks a little bridal cocktail dress as her star on the Walk of Fame is unveiled. I think she looks about as boring as boring can get, which is unsurprising, considering it’s Gwyneth.

Gwyneth Paltrow in Emilio Pucci at an LA screening of Country Strong

Wait. Is that – where exactly does that slit go?

Gwyneth Paltrow in Emilio Pucci at an LA screening of Country Strong

Oh. Oh my word.

Gwyneth Paltrow in Emilio Pucci at an LA screening of Country Strong

Oh, good LORD! What a way to tell the universe you don’t believe in panties, Gwynnie! This is actually downright vulgar. What a desperate cry for attention.

Jayma Mays in Burberry Prorsom at the Hollywood Style Awards

Ick. I usually love our Miss Pillsbury and her adorable outfits, but I’m not liking this. Too many colors and textures – the effect is unpleasant. The dress is unflattering – this woman is itsy bitsy, but you’d never know it from this photo. The styling is just completely off, and her mousy features can’t really handle that much lipstick.

Jayma Mays at the Late Show with David Letterman

This, on the other hand, is bright, chic, and beautiful. There’s still too many different colors going on with the accessories – we don’t need everything to match, but we don’t need everything to clash, either – but I think it was daring to choose those shoes, and I worship this iced periwinkle color on her.

Lea Michele in Giorgio Armani at Billboard’s Women in Music Awards

It’s a little figure skater-esque, and this bitch needs to wear something other than black nail polish just once, but I still think she looks quite beautiful. I think the side bangs flatter her face much better than the straight-across bangs, and I think the curves of this dress are quite beautiful. Perfect makeup, too. But she could have styled it up more with better shoes or more jewelry.

Lea Michele in The Row at the Hollywood Style Awards

Oy. This is a straight up disaster. She actually looks like she’s wrapped in a white towel, having just got out of the shower. Like I said, these big bangs don’t do much for her face. Us Jewish-looking ladies know that a side-part is much more flattering to our features. And us tiny girls know better than to wear stiff, almost-but-not-quite full-length gowns that make us look short and squat.
Check back later today for The Month in Celebrity Fashion: Part II!

© Democracy Diva, 2010.

The Week(s) in Celebrity Fashion: Halloween Edition!

The eve of bitchery is upon us! This Diva is bringing you all the hottest fashion on the red carpet and the big screen, with just a bit of Halloween flavor. I know it’s been well over a week since the last so-called weekly fashion recap, but I’m a busy little future lawyer, so forgive me, dear readers, and enjoy a LOT of fabulous.

Tina Fey in Andy & Debb at the Megamind premiere

Hello, Liz Lemon! The straight hair is a bit severe for Tina’s features, but the dress is pretty fierce and flatters her figure beautifully. Love the dramatic cocktail ring, but I wouldn’t have chosen black tights.

Left:Fleur's wedding gown in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I. Right: Alexander McQueen Fall 2008

What’s the biggest drama bringing together the worlds of couture and magic? As my fellow nerds are well aware, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I premieres this month (omfg so excited). So what’s the controversy? There’s Gossip Girl‘s Clemence Poesy in the role that made her not famous, Fleur Delacour, marrying Bill Weasley (the eldest son of our favorite magical red-headed family) in a dress that looks uncannily similar to an Alexander McQueen gown from Fall 2008. Does Team Potter owe an explanation to Team McQueen? I love the idea of a hot witch in high fashion, but Fleur Delacour-Weasley definitely did not get that gown from Madam Malkin’s Robes shop. (Oh, yeah. I know the name of the robes shop in Diagon Alley.)

Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad at the Carousel of Hope Gala

She wore this to a gala? Perhaps if it were ten years ago and she was running around a stage lip-synching “Waiting for Tonight,” this would be an appropriate costume, but you can’t expect me to believe she wore this as a dress. As eveningwear, no less. Johnny Weir called; he wants his queertastic skating outfit back.

Yes, Selena Gomez, I’m talking to you as well:

Selena Gomez performing at a Las Vegas benefit

Who are you, Katy Perry at a Christmas party? But at least she has the Vegas excuse, where anything goes. She looks downright demure next to some of the get-ups you find in those parts.

Mila Kunis in Monique Lhuillier at the 14th Annual Hollywood Awards Gala

Simple and fierce; proof that minimalism can be more fabulous than all the accessories in the world.

Carey Mulligan in Giles at the 14th Annual Hollywood Awards Gala

And then, a reminder of how ugly minimalism can be. I don’t know what’s worse: the hair, the makeup, the choice of accessories, or the sad, droopy draping on that dress. This looks like Gretchen Jones and Michael Costello teamed up for an eveningwear challenge, and that’s about as big an insult as I can think of.

But Carey mostly made up for it with this look…

Carey Mulligan in Preen at the BAFTA Los Angeles 2010 Britannia Awards

But lord, do I hate those shoes. They look like the shoes Drew Barrymore wore to like, ten different events in two weeks, just in a way tackier color. However, the hair has seriously improved. Tom & Lorenzo have blogged about this very problem, in which cute starlets get adorable pixie cuts that look perfect until they start to grow out. And then we all have to endure months of their hair looking like shit. But some extra-hold gel took care of that, and the dress is gorgeous.

Snooki, Queen of the Pickles

No words. Just amazing.

Leighton Meester in Elie Saab at the 14th Annual Hollywood Awards Gala

Leighton should know by now that when it comes to hair and makeup, less is more. I think she’s always more beautiful when she doesn’t let the makeup artist go so heavy-handed. I also want to slap the moron who approved those shoes with that dress, and this is also ice skating costume territory (seriously, starlets, what’s going on with that?). But at a minimum, I love the top half of the dress.

What else does Leighton have to say?

Leighton Meester in Giambattista Valli at FGI's Annual Night of Stars

BOOM. Fabulous. I remember this Spring 2011 dress well; I had it in my original Red Carpet Predictions post, but couldn’t find the starlet to pair it to. Ms. Meester is rocking this adorable little color-blocked cocktail dress, although the fit around the bust is a little odd. The accessories are simple and chic, and the hair and makeup is still dramatic, but more natural and youthful.

Janet Jackson at the New York City premiere of For Colored Girls

I’m sorry, Ms. Jackson. Are you for real?

Eva Mendes in Gucci at the Rome Film Festival

Boring, but beautiful. It could use a better hemline, though.

Tara Reid as Train Wreck Barbie?

This was Tara Reid’s Halloween costume, though I’m not sure how we’re supposed to differentiate it from Tara Reid on a Tuesday.

Padma Lakshmi in New York

On the Finale: Part I of Project Runway Season 8, Heidi criticized Gretchen for a dress with this same strange design element in back, arguing that no woman would wear it. I don’t usually come to Gretchen’s defense, but this is proof that someone wears that. Boom. Lawyered.

Kate Mara at the Beverly Hills premiere of 127 Hours

It took me days of staring at this picture to figure out why this girl looked so familiar: she played Heath Ledger’s daughter in Brokeback Mountain. Apparently she’s in 127 Hours, which a movie I can’t wait to see even though I’ll probably vomit during it. Anyway, she officially has the right to exist according to this Diva, because this little dress is too cute. The necklace is fierce, the Louboutins are fab, and she’s a gorgeous woman. Keep it up, newbie.

And across the country, but at the same film premiere:

Jennifer Missoni at the New York premiere of 127 Hours

She’s related to, though not the creator of, the Missoni brand, she’s model-gorgeous, and this dress is funky and adorable.

Rosario Dawson in Stella McCartney at the Los Angeles premiere of Unstoppable

Ooof, Rosario. That hem? Seriously? And that color? And that shoulder? And those shoes? I can’t handle any of it. Please redeem yourself as soon as possible.

Rosario Dawson in Christian Siriano at the BAFTA Los Angeles 2010 Britannia Awards

Well, she reedemed herself. It’s not perfect, but it’s further proof of the beauty of simplicity. Love the accessories.

Christian Siriano as the Feather Duster from Beauty and the Beast at Heidi Klum's 11th annual Halloween party

Yes, that is Christian Siriano. As that slutty French feather dusty from Beauty and the Beast. One of the best Halloween costumes I’ve ever seen.

Christina Ricci in Marchesa at the 26th annual Artios Awards

I blogged about this dress during Fall 2010 Fashion Week, but I’m not sure I love it as much in the real world as I did on the runway. I think the black tights are too much; they bring it down into a young ballerina place. But otherwise, she looks pretty damn beautiful.

Reese Witherspoon in Jason Wu at the Avon Foundation for Women Gala

Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous. Definitely one of my favorite random red carpet looks of the past few months.

Michelle Monaghan in Versace at the Due Date premiere

Simple and sexy as hell. The nude shoe trend on the red carpet might be played out by now, but I absolutely adore the way the shoes match her skin tone – except for the Louboutin red stiletto, which matches the dress. Dramatic, statement-making, but minimalist. I love it.

And in case you were curious, the Project Runway finale poll results were even more pro-Mondo than I anticipated:

An astonishing 96% of you wanted Mondo for the win. Let’s just forget this season ever happened, dear readers.

© Democracy Diva, 2010.

Best and Worst of the Week in Fashion

The weekly fashion recap is back to actually being weekly! At least until law school starts.

Simply Chic

January Jones in Versace

A welcome reminder that you don’t need to be complex or over-the-top to be fashionable, January Jones wears the hell out of this assymetrical white Versace dress and Brian Atwood pumps. Cute hair – casual, but not messy. The shade of lipstick is perfect, and I can’t even believe how blue her eyes are. And the way that dress twists around her is just fascinating. It feels like a high fashion tennis dress. Country club meets red carpet. And I love it.

A Hot Mess… Minus the “Hot”

Eva Mendes in Azzaro

Dear Eva,

Chloe Sevigny called. She wants the uglier version of her dress from the Met Gala back. At least she has an excuse, being Chloe Sevigny and all. So when I blogged about that dress, I was much more forgiving than I’m going to be towards you. Because if anyone can pull off a butt load of crazy, it’s Nicholette Grant. But you’re Eva Mendes. You’re really boring, and not particularly good at anything, and that dress is fucking stupid. Oh, and it’s July. There’s really no need for long sleeves, high necks, and scarves when the temperature hasn’t dropped below 90 in a month.

Love,

The Democracy Diva

Disappointment of the Week

Claire Danes

Claire Danes will forever be one of my favorite women, because I have a huge gay crush on her. But unfortunately, my undying love is not enough to stop her from making some truly awful fashion choices. Like this dress. Which, at its core, is some mediocre draping in ugly colors. Then the green ribbon was haphazardly added, making the whole dress look cheap and home-sewn. And after that mess, I guess the designer figured they needed to distract from the look somehow, so he covered Claire’s arm in droopy fabric and called it a day.

Honey, you are too good for this. Hire some new people. And change your toenail polish. Those dark colors always look like fungi on the red carpet.

Best in Bridal: Project Runway Alum Edition

Chloe Dao Bridal 2010

Season 2 Project Runway winner Chloe Dao released her bridal collection this week. Remember, she was the tiny Asian one, with the red-headed model who was easily a foot taller than her? They were such an adorable pair, Chloe and Grace. Anyway, I’m glad to see she’s still designing, and particularly designing bridal wear. She’s no genius, but she’s got some interesting ideas and strong technical skills.

And this is such a sweet little bridal dress. Beautifully draped, so it feels like a flower instead of a dress. The volume on the bottom is just big enough to make a statement, but not so big that it’s unwearable. Super cute, very chic, and an overall adorable dress.

Sex on a Stick

Sofia Vergara in Lela Rose

Hello, gorgeous! The sexy mama from Modern Family is all tits and legs in this fabulous little blue number. I don’t love the way it cuts across her tummy – I think it could be cut in a more flattering way – but I like the subtle drape of the skirt. The color is by far the best thing about this dress – it just calls even more attention to the most beautiful woman in the room. It’s a bit too push-up for Vergara’s already busty frame – I think it just makes her tits look fake as opposed to naturally perky – but she just always looks like she’s having a great time, and I love how refreshingly normal she seems. Oh, and she’s hilarious, too.

Fixer-Upper

Kim Kardashian

You know, Kim Kardashian may be totally useless and famous for no reason, but I’ve seen photos of her without makeup, and she’s actually gorgeous. Kim, please listen to the wisdom that the Democracy Diva is about to impart upon you. I promise, I am only here to help.

  • That slicked-back hair needs to go. You shouldn’t aim for hair like a Ken doll – your hair should look like, well, hair. And while we’re on the subject, what’s with the extra-long ponytail? Just get a haircut.
  • I hate denim jackets in general. But an acid-washed denim jacket – that looks as if it is intentionally made to appear inside-out? Thumbs down, Kim. Also, shrunken jackets are not that flattering on your figure.
  • Skin-tight may be a style, but you’re just walking down the street. Does everything you wear need to be so binding all the time? Not that it’s necessarily bad, I would just get really uncomfortable – not to mention sweaty.
  • Beware of those eyebrows – they’re already in a very surprised shape, and if you over-tweeze them anymore, you’re going to look like you’ve had a bad Botox job.
  • Lay off the pancake makeup! You really don’t need it. You have amazing eyes, beautiful lips, and a cute nose. There’s no need to put on stage makeup for a walk down the street in the middle of July. Just let a little more of your natural beauty shine, and you might actually look like a human.

With Great Films Comes Great Fashion: Inception

Ellen Page in Helmut Lang

Obviously when you’re in a hugely anticipated movie with Leonardo DiCaprio, you’re basically required to have a fabulous new stylist make sure that you look amazing at every premiere. This is our dear Juno at the French premiere of Inception (which I just saw with Nate, and we highly recommend it). And she looks so casually terrific, as if to say, “Who me? Oh, I’ve always looked this fierce, you just weren’t paying attention.” Well, Ellen, I congratulate you and your new stylist on a job well done. Sexy dress, great fit, great print. Smoky and dark and interesting. The hair is cute, though I’d trim those side-bangs a bit, I think it would angle your face better. But keep it up, girl.

Marion Cotillard in Christian Dior

A beautiful woman in a beautiful dress, but I don’t know who told her to wear those sandals. They have nothing to do with the rest of the outfit. Just a simple black pump would’ve been fine. But let’s remember, ladies, you’re never fully dressed without some bling. No earrings OR bracelet OR necklace? Come on, Marion. Don’t be afraid to accessorize.

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