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Oh, good. I had forgotten about how fucking stupid Rihanna’s hair looks for like five minutes, and so of course she’s done something newly infuriating. Also, lose the fake nails. They scream trash.

And on the complete opposite side of the spectrum, First Lady Michelle Obama wore late designer Alexander McQueen this week, and knocked it out of the park. No complaints here – she seriously rocked it.

“Guys! GUUUYS! Did you forget I was pregnant?! ‘Cause here I am, in my drapey maternity dress and FLATS! Flats, on the red carpet, after I won a GOLDEN GLOBE for my lesbian snuff film!”

I swear, I like Natalie Portman, but there is a such thing as too much press.

Anne Hathaway wore this dress in blue nearly a year ago, but I’m still loving it on Modern Family‘s eldest daughter. It’s hard for a teenage starlet to be fashionable without looking like a child prostitute or a cougar, but this Dunphy is nailing it.

Jennifer Lopez is apparently playing the role of Amazing Maizie in Seussical the Musical. (Shout out to the four people who got that joke. You’re queer.)

Remember when Michelle Trachtenberg was Harriet the Spy? I wanted to be her then, and if I get to wear this dress, I want to be her now. (Though I’d have gone with black shoes – the matchy-matchy satin to the purse is too much.)

I just don’t really understand why anyone ever thought she was good-looking.

Alison Brie, I want to like you because you’re in Mad Men AND Community, and you’re great on both, even though the Community producers insist on parading you around in impossibly tight sweaters, like we’d forget you have television’s perkiest tits if they weren’t wrapped in cashmere and shoved in our faces. But you need to hire a hair stylist, learn to pose, nix the matchy-matchy accessories and find a dress that has a different cut-out, because that one is just ridiculous.

“Stop taking pictures of Natalie Portman! I’m pregnant too! I’M PREGNANT TOO!”

Actually, she looks pretty damn fierce.

It’s only January, but I can promise you this will be in my BEST DRESSED OF 2011 post. Rachel Bilson officially needs to eat a sandwich, but goddamn it, when this girl wears Zac Posen, she can do no wrong.

Lovely, sweet, and romantic, but the headband takes it just a bit over the top.

This is a short version of what Jennifer Love Hewitt wore to the Golden Globes. I’ll give Anna the fact that she looks better in it than J.Lo.Hew., but that’s not saying much. I love the shoes, but not with that dress. This is just about as boring as red carpet fashion gets.

You can wear either a full-length flapper gown OR a gown that fades into a lot of ugly colors. Because clearly, a combination of the two does not work. And those accessories are nonsensical.

DELICIOSO. Totally redeemed herself. Unique, classy, and sexy as hell.

The poor man’s version of Leighton Meester’s dress.

Ugh. I just hate doing a double-take every time I see Emma Stone because I STILL THINK SHE’S LINDSAY LOHAN. And it just makes me so upset. She doesn’t look awful, she just looks like Lindsay, after she started doing a lot of coke but before we all really KNEW she was doing a lot of coke. Emma Stone, PLEASE DON’T TURN INTO LINDSAY LOHAN.

What, is everybody calling Lindsay for coked-out makeup tips? What the hell is happening on Gwyneth’s face? Oh, and you have two children. So you can stop dressing like a flower girl.

Creep of the Week

I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen a photo this disturbing. We know that basically every photo we see of celebrities is airbrushed half to death, but this is truly terrifying. Why do photographers feel the need to Lolita-ize FORTY YEAR OLD WOMEN? Is it necessary that she be naked but for a TEDDY BEAR and twenty pounds of makeup to give her that doe-eyed porcelain doll face? Jen, I know you’re over forty and you don’t have babies because your last husband left you to have like 800 babies with someone way hotter than you, and that’s clearly taken its toll on your psyche, but get a grip on yourself. ‘Cause you’re creeping me out.

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© Democracy Diva, 2010.