After weeks of deliberating, one of the year’s biggest blogging projects is complete. I’ve analyzed every dress from the Resort 2012 collections and predicted which star will wear who. And without further adieu, I present part one of my Resort 2011 Red Carpet Predictions.
Happy Memorial Day, dear readers! Pour yourself a stiff cocktail and get ready to judge.
A brief return to blogging before a finals-filled hiatus.
Introducing . . . THE ELITE EIGHT.
Welcome back to the Sweet 16! Part 2 of 2 is here, so get your judging hat on!
Here’s the second bracket in MARCH FABNESS 2011, Round 1! The first is here. And check out the full bracket at MARCH FABNESS. Vote early and often!
The eve of bitchery is upon us! This Diva is bringing you all the hottest fashion on the red carpet and the big screen, with just a bit of Halloween flavor. I know it’s been well over a week since the last so-called weekly fashion recap, but I’m a busy little future lawyer, so forgive me, dear readers, and enjoy a LOT of fabulous.
Tina Fey in Andy & Debb at the Megamind premiere
Hello, Liz Lemon! The straight hair is a bit severe for Tina’s features, but the dress is pretty fierce and flatters her figure beautifully. Love the dramatic cocktail ring, but I wouldn’t have chosen black tights.
Left:Fleur's wedding gown in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I. Right: Alexander McQueen Fall 2008
What’s the biggest drama bringing together the worlds of couture and magic? As my fellow nerds are well aware, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I premieres this month (omfg so excited). So what’s the controversy? There’s Gossip Girl‘s Clemence Poesy in the role that made her not famous, Fleur Delacour, marrying Bill Weasley (the eldest son of our favorite magical red-headed family) in a dress that looks uncannily similar to an Alexander McQueen gown from Fall 2008. Does Team Potter owe an explanation to Team McQueen? I love the idea of a hot witch in high fashion, but Fleur Delacour-Weasley definitely did not get that gown from Madam Malkin’s Robes shop. (Oh, yeah. I know the name of the robes shop in Diagon Alley.)
Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad at the Carousel of Hope Gala
She wore this to a gala? Perhaps if it were ten years ago and she was running around a stage lip-synching “Waiting for Tonight,” this would be an appropriate costume, but you can’t expect me to believe she wore this as a dress. As eveningwear, no less. Johnny Weir called; he wants his queertastic skating outfit back.
Yes, Selena Gomez, I’m talking to you as well:
Selena Gomez performing at a Las Vegas benefit
Who are you, Katy Perry at a Christmas party? But at least she has the Vegas excuse, where anything goes. She looks downright demure next to some of the get-ups you find in those parts.
Mila Kunis in Monique Lhuillier at the 14th Annual Hollywood Awards Gala
Simple and fierce; proof that minimalism can be more fabulous than all the accessories in the world.
Carey Mulligan in Giles at the 14th Annual Hollywood Awards Gala
And then, a reminder of how ugly minimalism can be. I don’t know what’s worse: the hair, the makeup, the choice of accessories, or the sad, droopy draping on that dress. This looks like Gretchen Jones and Michael Costello teamed up for an eveningwear challenge, and that’s about as big an insult as I can think of.
But Carey mostly made up for it with this look…
Carey Mulligan in Preen at the BAFTA Los Angeles 2010 Britannia Awards
But lord, do I hate those shoes. They look like the shoes Drew Barrymore wore to like, ten different events in two weeks, just in a way tackier color. However, the hair has seriously improved. Tom & Lorenzo have blogged about this very problem, in which cute starlets get adorable pixie cuts that look perfect until they start to grow out. And then we all have to endure months of their hair looking like shit. But some extra-hold gel took care of that, and the dress is gorgeous.
Snooki, Queen of the Pickles
No words. Just amazing.
Leighton Meester in Elie Saab at the 14th Annual Hollywood Awards Gala
Leighton should know by now that when it comes to hair and makeup, less is more. I think she’s always more beautiful when she doesn’t let the makeup artist go so heavy-handed. I also want to slap the moron who approved those shoes with that dress, and this is also ice skating costume territory (seriously, starlets, what’s going on with that?). But at a minimum, I love the top half of the dress.
What else does Leighton have to say?
Leighton Meester in Giambattista Valli at FGI's Annual Night of Stars
BOOM. Fabulous. I remember this Spring 2011 dress well; I had it in my original Red Carpet Predictions post, but couldn’t find the starlet to pair it to. Ms. Meester is rocking this adorable little color-blocked cocktail dress, although the fit around the bust is a little odd. The accessories are simple and chic, and the hair and makeup is still dramatic, but more natural and youthful.
Janet Jackson at the New York City premiere of For Colored Girls
I’m sorry, Ms. Jackson. Are you for real?
Eva Mendes in Gucci at the Rome Film Festival
Boring, but beautiful. It could use a better hemline, though.
Tara Reid as Train Wreck Barbie?
This was Tara Reid’s Halloween costume, though I’m not sure how we’re supposed to differentiate it from Tara Reid on a Tuesday.
Padma Lakshmi in New York
On the Finale: Part I of Project Runway Season 8, Heidi criticized Gretchen for a dress with this same strange design element in back, arguing that no woman would wear it. I don’t usually come to Gretchen’s defense, but this is proof that someone wears that. Boom. Lawyered.
Kate Mara at the Beverly Hills premiere of 127 Hours
It took me days of staring at this picture to figure out why this girl looked so familiar: she played Heath Ledger’s daughter in Brokeback Mountain. Apparently she’s in 127 Hours, which a movie I can’t wait to see even though I’ll probably vomit during it. Anyway, she officially has the right to exist according to this Diva, because this little dress is too cute. The necklace is fierce, the Louboutins are fab, and she’s a gorgeous woman. Keep it up, newbie.
And across the country, but at the same film premiere:
Jennifer Missoni at the New York premiere of 127 Hours
She’s related to, though not the creator of, the Missoni brand, she’s model-gorgeous, and this dress is funky and adorable.
Rosario Dawson in Stella McCartney at the Los Angeles premiere of Unstoppable
Ooof, Rosario. That hem? Seriously? And that color? And that shoulder? And those shoes? I can’t handle any of it. Please redeem yourself as soon as possible.
Rosario Dawson in Christian Siriano at the BAFTA Los Angeles 2010 Britannia Awards
Well, she reedemed herself. It’s not perfect, but it’s further proof of the beauty of simplicity. Love the accessories.
Christian Siriano as the Feather Duster from Beauty and the Beast at Heidi Klum's 11th annual Halloween party
Yes, that is Christian Siriano. As that slutty French feather dusty from Beauty and the Beast. One of the best Halloween costumes I’ve ever seen.
Christina Ricci in Marchesa at the 26th annual Artios Awards
I blogged about this dress during Fall 2010 Fashion Week, but I’m not sure I love it as much in the real world as I did on the runway. I think the black tights are too much; they bring it down into a young ballerina place. But otherwise, she looks pretty damn beautiful.
Reese Witherspoon in Jason Wu at the Avon Foundation for Women Gala
Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous. Definitely one of my favorite random red carpet looks of the past few months.
Michelle Monaghan in Versace at the Due Date premiere
Simple and sexy as hell. The nude shoe trend on the red carpet might be played out by now, but I absolutely adore the way the shoes match her skin tone – except for the Louboutin red stiletto, which matches the dress. Dramatic, statement-making, but minimalist. I love it.
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And in case you were curious, the Project Runway finale poll results were even more pro-Mondo than I anticipated:
An astonishing 96% of you wanted Mondo for the win. Let’s just forget this season ever happened, dear readers.
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© Democracy Diva, 2010.
Glee Does Comic-Con
Heather (Brittany): I’m not loving those bangs; I think her signature Cheerios high ponytail is much more flattering. The outfit is cute enough, if a bit amateurish.
Kevin (Artie): This boy can sing, dance, act, and DRESS. I wish other young actors took the risks that Kevin takes with his wardrobe. The shirt is stunning, the suspenders are adorable, and he looks unique and chic, if a bit over-dressed for Comic-Con. I’m loving it.
Naya (Santana): Can’t go wrong in a cute floral sundress. Effortless and adorable.
Amber (Mercedes): Cute top and sweater, but it’d look a thousand times better without that belt.
Chris (Kurt): He’s a self-professed comic book geek, so I’m glad he’s showing his roots at this event. But I think he could have paired this outfit with something a little more fashion-forward, since he usually dresses incredibly well.
Jenna (Tina): Adorable dress, great hair. And the nude shoes trend is super-hot right now, so kudos for catching on.
Love the Girl, Hate the Dress
Like the Democracy Diva, Anna Kendrick loves her some Marchesa. (The starlet donned Marchesa at the 2010 Golden Globes, at the Eclipse LA premiere, at the Up in the Air Toronto premiere, and more.) Unlike the Diva, Ms. Kendrick doesn’t seem to understand that some Marchesa dresses work far better on the runway than they do on the red carpet. This is one of them.
The lopsided bust, which I’m sure would work fabulously on a 6 foot tall, size zero model, is just unfortunate on Kendrick’s petite frame. The black beading against the blue print isn’t particularly attractive, nor are the proportions of the dress, which make Anna look short and squat instead of long and lean. And those shoes? What drag queen told my girl Fritzy to wear those shoes – especially with that dress? A rookie mistake. And once again, I’d like to remind young Hollywood: If your hair is up and your dress is low-cut, WEAR A NECKLACE. I’m disappointed by her lack of bling. But I do love Anna Kendrick, and I hope she bounces back from this fashion mishap quickly.
The Best and Worst of Biel
Jessica Biel in Giambattista Valli
I’ve never thought Jessica was as beautiful as most people seem to think she is. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a hottie for sure, but she’s got awfully harsh features and she lacks the poise needed to pull off high fashion gowns. But I’m eating my words from the neck down, because I think she looks incredible here, at the London premiere of The A-Team. I normally don’t support sheer gowns on the red carpet, but I can forgive it because this particular gown is just stunning. It fits her remarkably well, making her waist look tinier and her boobs look bigger – and she had a great figure to begin with! I would’ve done black shoes instead of red, but they’re still a good choice. And let’s hear it for a girl who isn’t afraid to bring out the bling. Loving those bracelets.
Now, the hair is a hot mess. How many times do I have to say this – you can’t go all-out with the dress and skimp on the hair and make-up! That frizzy bedhead is not appropriate for such a beautiful gown. But I still give her props for a remarkable effort.
Jessica Biel in Atelier Versace
Well, she’s back to looking stiff and uncomfortable on the red carpet, which is a huge step down. Not that she looked particularly cosy in the Valli gown, but there’s something very cold and unnatural about her in this Versace gown. The gown itself is beautiful, but I just don’t think she’s wearing it well. I think it’s a bit too ornate and vintage-looking for her tastes – she’s very sportswear, Americana, bold colors and simplicity. This gown is anything but. And those shoes were a horrible choice. Whoever invented the teardrop-shaped eyelet peeptoe should obviously be shot. And the silver shoe with the blue dress is very mother-of-the-bride. I’d love to see this dress on Anne Hathaway or another starlet with more traditional, glitzy tastes (and the poise to pull them off), but something about this gown on Jessica just isn’t working for me.
Jessica Biel in Vionnet
It’s a shame, because she looks so much more at ease here, but she’s wearing a glorified potato sack. That sleeve is simply dreadful – unless your arm is in a sling, there’s really no need for that much fabric on the sleeve. And the dress itself is shapeless and dull, like a poorly-made toga. Those shoes look navy, and even if they’re black, they’re clearly not the right black for that dress. And I hate the way the fabric gathers around her waist – it’s unflattering and downright sloppy. Definitely the worst out of the three.
Fergie Fug
Fergie
Now headlining in Vegas: Fergie, the alien warrior princess turned stripper! Oh, Fergie, you can wear whatever the fuck you want, just please stop making music.
Also, it is just me, or does her head seem unnaturally large? Seriously, she looks like a Bratz doll.
Delhi Couture Week 2010
Congrats to Delhi on hosting their first ever couture fashion week! I encourage you to check out Tom & Lorenzo for more pics from the runway show; everything is so beautiful and so different from Western fashion.
This couture gown by Manav Gagwani is simply magnificent. I love that you can feel the Indian influence, but you can also see that the designer was inspired by Italian and French couture as well. Every single fabric used is breathtaking. The glitz and glamour of the shiny, glittering fabrics and lace is almost overwhelming. I love the different colors used – iced periwinkles and lilacs, lavenders and silvers. Everything about this gown screams couture. I look forward to many more Delhi Couture Weeks in the future!
The Rapidly Aging Cameron
I ask because I care: Cameron, what the fuck is happening with your face? This is clearly a bad Botox job or worse – the skin is pulled awfully tight in some places, while other spots appear swollen and puffy. That can’t be intentional, and it doesn’t seem natural, either. But if you’re going to let your face fall to pieces, at least sport a fabulous outfit to detract from your train-wrecked skin. This sad lump of fabric is not doing you any favors. It has no shape, making you look unfortunately bulbous. Sure, you’ve got killer legs, but this outfit hides your bust, waist, and hips, like you’re just a misshapen potato on two legs. Fire your plastic surgeon and your stylist immediately. You might be 37, but you’ve got the potential to look 30, and right now you’re leaning towards 50.
God Bless America
Business chic all the way for Ms. Ferrera! The dress is adorable and professional, flattering and youthful. Though I do need to give her my lecture on NO DARK TOE-NAIL POLISH ON THE RED CARPET. Ugh. The make-up artist was a little heavy-handed, but America looks absolutely radiant, and every professional woman should own a dress like this. Also, that hair is hella sexy.
Worst Dressed
Blake Lively in Preen
Oh, Serena. I know your career goals are to bare as much of your tits as possible on every red carpet, but you have broken the two Golden Rules of Public Titty-Baring:
1. Thou shalt not show any part of the nipple. (This includes even the slightest bit of mysterious skin that seems areola-esque.)
2. Thou shalt not neglect the rest of the outfit just because the titties are bared.
That top is so naked, it looks like it must be on backwards. And those pants? Seriously? We’re wearing high-waisted, wrinkled baggy pants now? Because I simply refuse to support that. And what’s with the shoes? The pants cover up the top ankle strap – that’s clearly not a good sign. And the belt was just a mistake. Aren’t belts supposed to like, wrap around you? Not just poke out awkwardly? Though I guess you can use it as a weapon to fight any comic book geeks who can’t stop staring at your almost nipple. Oh, and brush your hair, for God’s sake. And lose the eight different kinds of bracelets, you look like a tween after a shopping spree at Claire’s.
Best Dressed
Hello, Peggy! This is by far the best Ms. Moss has ever looked. She donned this glitzy and glamorous dress for the premiere screening of Mad Men‘s season four in Times Square. The hair is absolutely amazing – thank god we’re saying fairwell to Miss Olson’s signature ponytail! The curly bob is totally chic and works wonders for her features. And the dress! The perfect color, a wonderful fit, and a phenomenal choice for Elisabeth. I love the sassy smile on her face, as if she’s thinking, “Bitches, the days of Peggy the ugly ducking are OVER! This is Elisabeth Moss, glamour queen! Bow down!” I’m looking forward to seeing more like this from the adorable Ms. Moss.
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Follow this diva on twitter @democracydiva! And don’t forget to check out my guest blog post with Backstage Barbie!
This week had a little too much fashion for just one blog post, so I’ve divided your weekly fashion recap into two parts: runway and red carpet. Here’s the runway edition, as the Resort 2011 collections have exploded this week.
Best Accessory: Vamped-Up Stockings
The gams are getting glamorous on the runway this week! Though the effect feels much more fall than spring, many designers chose vamped-up stockings and ornate tights as accessories. I have always been a fan of the embellished stocking – somehow it always makes an outfit more interesting and way sexier.
Worst Accessory: The Tube Belt
I tend to support eccentric accessories, particularly those that bring an element of grittiness into an otherwise tailored, feminine outfit (or vice versa). But if the fashionistas start wearing these ugly, unflattering belts that look like they belong at a gas pump, I’m going to have to scream. I beg you, ladies. No matter how badly you need a belt, rubber tubing is not the answer.
The Saddest Girl on the Runway
There is a such thing as “so bad it’s good.” Examples include the earlier seasons of Degrassi: The Next Generation, “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus, and the entire High School Musical franchise. Unfortunately, Cynthia Rowley’s Resort 2011 collection is not “so bad it’s good.” Because it’s downright fugly. From the white shoes to the shapeless “dress” to the patched, frayed fabric – I understand the point is to make a statement using ugliness, but the only statement this makes is “I’m a little homeless boy in my mommy’s shoes”
The Legend of Oscar
Oscar de la Renta Resort 2011
As per usual, I had nearly every look in Oscar de la Renta’s Resort 2011 collection tagged as one of my favorites this week, but I managed to narrow it down to two looks that explain the genius of Mr. de la Renta.
The above look is what designers like Leanne from Project Runway constantly attempt but never quite achieve. She, like Oscar, made full skirts of fabric pieces to make it look like waves, but she limited herself with her desire to stay within a specific structure and color scheme. This blood-red beauty catches like feathers in the wind, moves like waves, possibly could have been made by Elmo’s taxidermist, and is romantic and sweet all at the same time. The rose-looking twist at the center is exquisite.
Oscar de la Renta Resort 2011
And this kind of gown is what Christopher from Project Runway always tried, to no avail. But to create something like this is so much more than making a dress. It truly stands as a piece of art, carefully and thoughtfully draped, sewn, and constructed. I personally love the different polka-dot prints, the black sash at her waist, and the ornate bodice.
The Ill-Fitting Crotch Award
These pants were apparently draped intentionally to give the appearance of a giant cameltoe.
Marc by Marc Jacobs Resort 2011
The Democracy Diva would like to take this opportunity to remind all designers, not just Givenchy and Marc, that vaginas do not need a square foot of breathing room.
90s Throwbacks
This My So Called Life meets Coco Chanel hybrid has all the modernity of the new millennium with the grittiness of the 90s. The tweed dress is lovely (and such an unusual shape) and those peep-toe combat boots are destined to be in my closet. But the black long-sleeved lace undershirt really amps up the alternative rock sensibility, and the contrast between the tailored and the distressed is incredibly beautiful.
Diva’s Pet Peeve
Now, I KNOW we’ve talked about sweatpants on the runway before. I don’t care if it’s the resort collection – fabulous casual vacation lounge clothing and bright yellow elastic waistband sweatpants are not the same. And this poor soul isn’t helped by that boxy T-shirt, the horrible choker, and the mismatched purse.
Best Bollywood Influence
I love the way Naeem Khan’s entire collection felt like it lay somewhere in between Hollywood and Bollywood. Gowns like this one – perfect red carpet gowns with just whispers of sari influences – simultaneously have old Hollywood glamour and a completely modern, global sensibility.
Costumes by Marc Jacobs
Doesn’t this have Emma Pillsbury from Glee written all over it? If McKinley High has a prom or Emma and Will have an engagement party, I think our neurotic little guidance counselor should wear this chic, flowery ensemble from Marc Jacobs.
Marc Jacobs Resort 2011
If this Diva were Katy Perry’s stylist, this is what I’d put her in for a casual day or hot summer night. This is what Katy should be wearing – zany, revealing costumes that hearken back to the 1940s pinup girls. She should go less wild and more conceptual, and her wardrobe would be intriguing instead of just weird.
The Dragtastic Dress
Since the model above does not appear to be a tennis pro by day / drag queen by night who is addicted to ecstasy, I can’t imagine where she plans on wearing this dress.
My Favorite Mini-Dresses
A girly print with a fascinating belt and truly fabulous straps. And that matching bag? To die for.
I call this look “Little Red Riding Hood Goes Bad.” Youthful, sexy, and fresh.
Because, let’s be honest, it’s not summer until you whip out your wildest neon dress.
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More fashion to come! Check back here soon for the Tonys red carpet and more!
Native American Girls Go Bad
Leighton Meester in Giambattista Valli
Leighton Meester in Giambattista Valli
Leighton Meester is quickly become the most surprisingly worst-dressed celebrity. There will always be the Rihannas of the world who dress themselves with a newfound sense of fugliness every day. But something inside me expects Leighton to dress well, probably because her Gossip Girl character has the perfect WASP fashion sensibilities. So every time she parades around in a Navajo blanket she stole from the set of Pocahontas 2: Electric Boogaloo, my insides weep, because how can a girl who wears such gorgeous clothes on her show pick such fugly things to wear in real life? Why can’t she hire the Gossip Girl costumer as her personal stylist – or, you know, anybody with any basic knowledge of what looks good on a human being. So here’s your fashion advice, Leighton, that you so stubbornly refuse to ask for: you look like a Muppet from the back, those shoes are ridiculously ugly and make your calves look weird, and I’m not convinced that hair color is right for you. Now go, and find a way to be the one well-dressed actor on your show, because God knows that award isn’t going to Blake Lively’s stripper outfits or Taylor Momsen’s eyeliner-and-no-pants trend.
Love it or Hate it?
Rachel Bilson in Preen
I honestly cannot figure out how I feel about this dress. I’m usually pretty anti-cutouts, but I think this is just so interesting that I want to let it slide. And I know she’s wearing a glorified bra, but her dress isn’t actually more revealing than any other red carpet outfits. I think I want to dislike it on principle, but dammit, she looks hot as hell. I don’t want to just like it because she’s wearing it and I practically worship her, but the fact that I’ve been staring at this photo for five minutes straight definitely speaks to its intrigue.
Okay. I’ve decided I love it. Feel free to disagree. Though I will say that I wish Rachel’s roots matched the rest of her hair, but that’s a personal issue.
Vulgar in Velvet
Ginnifer Goodwin in Vionnet
I try to like Ginnifer Goodwin. I think she’s fantastic on Big Love, and I thought she was just the right balance of annoying and cute in He’s Just Not That Into You. But the shorter her hair gets, the less I like her. Not because she doesn’t look good with short hair, but she looks like she’s trying so hard to achieve that hipster pixie look. I think she’d look infinitely more beautiful if she embraced the fact that her face is too round for super-short hair – it makes her look like the head of an infant on the body of a woman.
But putting her hair to rest, let’s discuss this outfit. It breaks three of this Diva’s fashion rules:
Most Disturbing of the Week
Heidi Montag in far too little
My only question is, what happened in Heidi Montag’s childhood that made her think this is what women should look like? Even Barbie dolls have more reasonable chest-to-waist proportions than Heidi. And I think their feet are less pointy, too. I used to hate Heidi just for existing, but I look at pictures like this and I truly pity this girl. Correct me if I’m wrong, straight gentlemen and gay ladies, but I don’t think breasts that size are the least bit attractive. I think she was much prettier before she did this to herself, and that she is in desperate need of an intervention before she wakes up one morning looking like Mickey Rourke.
Best Dressed of the Week
Reese Witherspoon
She looks perfect. And it is damn hard to pull off an all-white ensemble, particularly in the pre-summer months, but Reese truly looks like an angel (you know, if angels carried fabulous purses that cost a few grand). Cute shoes, great purse, simple and elegant dress that fits her impeccably, great hair, cute sunglasses, and fun jewelry. A+ work, Reese.
The Democracy Diva 
