Listen, I’ve got a lot going on in my life right now. So if my Oscars coverage has to stretch into April, then you will just have to fucking deal with it, my beautiful queens.
Every con has its pros. And every pro has a bedazzled pantsuit.
Welcome to the south of France, motherfuckers.
SO MUCH PRETTINESS I CAN’T EVEN HANDLE IT.
Welcome to the amfAR Gala, or as it will now be known, Shameless Sideboob for a Good Cause!
Welcome, dear readers, to the Superbowl of self-congratulatory superstars!