Let’s get cracking, dear readers.

ELLE FANNING in Hollywood // dress by Rodarte

Just when I think I’m ready to throw in the towel from watching too many B-listers in nude sparkly strapless gowns with nude peep-toe platform pumps, Elle Fanning steps in to give me a breath of fresh air. I love her, I love this dress, and I love her in this dress. Perfect combination of blonde-haired, blue-eyed innocence and yellow-flowered, blue-skied dress.

KIRSTEN DUNST in Hollywood // jacket by Stella McCartney, pants by Rodarte, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Elle wasn’t the only blonde to don yellow, as Kirsten stepped out in some fab yellow separates. I’m a fan of color, menswear on women, and printed pants, so I think this is a great ensemble. I like that the shoes are unobtrusive, because the jacket and pants are a lot of look, but they don’t make her feet look particularly nice. Dig the bright hair and black purse, though.

ELIZABETH BANKS at the New York premiere of Man on a Ledge // dress by Versace

Is there anything better than a funny woman in a fierce dress? Elizabeth Banks looks absolutely badass in half-studded, half-soft Versace. I love her blunt hair, her makeup is perfect, and the stockings are sheer enough to differentiate from her boots, so she doesn’t look like her feet are invisible.

ELIZABETH BANKS at the New York premiere of Haywire // dress by Theyskens’ Theory, jacket by Hervé Léger, purse by Lauren Merkin, shoes by Prada

Beautiful, but with the stockings and shoes it is a whole lot of black. And here, she falls into invisible-foot territory. But I’d kill for that jacket and that dress – they’re both gorgeous on her.

RACHEL MCADAMS in Munich // dress by Collette Dinnigan

A few inches too long, and the styling is too boring, but the cut and color of this dress are beautiful on her.

JESSICA CHASTAIN in New York City // dress by Monique Lhuillier, shoes by Jimmy Choo

This was my Pre-Fall 2012 red carpet prediction for Zooey Deschanel, but I’m enjoying it on Jessica. I’m not sure I’d have chosen those shiny peep-toes, but the dress is certainly great on her statuesque figure. Hair is lovely, but I think she could use a bracelet.

JESSICA CHASTAIN in New York City // dress by Karen Caldwell, shoes by Barbara Bui

Redhead in green with orange-red shoes? Unstoppable. These colors are really fun on her, and the silhouette of the dress is adorable. Again, though, I’d welcome some simple jewelry.

JESSICA ALBA in New York City // sweater by Acne, pants by Erdem, shoes by Barbara Bui

The ombre coat is divine (the ombre sleeves, even better), and the floral Erdem pants are fantastic. The orange shirt was a good choice – picking up a subtle color in the print instead of an obvious one. The shoes are gorgeous, and even though logic tells me this is all too matchy-matchy, I really love it, especially with the black purse, which brings down the intense matchy-ness a little bit.

JESSICA ALBA // suit by Jenni Kayne, blouse by Kate Spade, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Well, this is actually too matchy-matchy. Something about this black and white color-blocked suit feels incredibly dated, at least in this cut and silhouette.

CAREY MULLIGAN at the London Critics’ Circle Film Awards // dress by Roland Mouret, shoes by Yves Saint Laurent

This, I hate. It fits her terribly in the shoulders, bust, waist, and length. And although I’m glad to see a non-nude or black shoe, I swear to you, I have seen blue suede YSL pumps on every star trying not to wear an “obvious” shoe. Sometimes the obvious shoe is the right choice, like when you’re wearing a red and white dress, for God’s sake.

CATE BLANCHETT in Geneva // dress by Givenchy, shoes by Roger Vivier

I feel like I could like the dress, but not on Cate. The proportions don’t work on her at all, and the sheer hose with sandals looks ridiculous.

BLAKE LIVELY at the New York premiere of Haywire // dress by Dolce & Gabbana

I get that it’s Dolce & Gabbana, but I’m sorry, this looks like a better-sewn version of every dress you could buy at Urban Outfitters two years ago. There’s too many textures (the sequined top, the matte belt, the wool skirt, the striped stockings) and too few accessories – besides those combat boot-looking nightmares.

CAMERON DIAZ in Beverly Hills // dress by Monique Lhuillier

Looks like Cameron Diaz snorted an entire brick of cocaine, called up Kelly Osbourne’s stylist, and begged for an even worse hair style. And she achieved it. She looks awful – the black-rooted, platinum-tipped mental patient choppy bob, the too-tight, too-shiny, too-boring dress. It’s depressing me.

EMMA ROBERTS // gown by Zac Posen, shoes by Elie Saab

It’s cute that she thinks she can pull off a gown like this, but she just can’t. Leave this kind of thing to the professionals, honey.

MALIN AKERMAN // dress by Etro, purse and shoes by Jimmy Choo

It’s sort of disco Betty Rubble, but I don’t actually hate that in theory. What I hate is that this neckline goes down to her goddamn bellybutton and if I have to see one more B-lister’s sternum on the red carpet, I’m going to gouge my eyes out. Also, the hair looks like she had some casual sex in the limo en route to this event, and the gold cage shoes are tacky.

MIRANDA KERR // dress by Dolce & Gabbana, purse by Bottega Veneta, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti

Oh my God, she looks like a stripper version of a Disney princess and it’s making me really depressed. As usual, it’s too tight, too boobalicious, and she’s got too much makeup and not enough styling. The pink purse and shoes? Bridesmaid all the way.

LINDSAY LOHAN // gown by Prada

This is refreshingly covered-up and non-crazy-looking for Lindsay Lohan. You all know my hatred for head-to-toe nude by now, but it actually suits her, and I like the bow. Her hair still looks like straw, but, you know. Baby steps.

ELLIE KEMPER // dress by Manish Arora, shoes by Andrew Kayla

Cute dress! We all love a redhead in green! Stop ruining it with those fugly shoes.

FELICITY JONES // gown by Valentino

If she’s going to bring the Alexa Chung effect to everything she wears, I’m going to have a conniption. The Alexa Chung effect, noun: a 21st century hipster phenomenon characterized by mental patient hair (bangs that look self-cut by a toddler required), a refusal to wear makeup that flatters or gowns that fit (why dress your size when you can have three feet of extra fabric around you, making you look just slightly like you don’t care when in actuality you spent thousands of dollars on a stylist to ensure that your head-to-toe image is crafted to perfection?) But I digress. I just can’t watch another star ruin fabulous gowns with her stupid, stupid hair.

JAIME KING // gown by Valentino

Speaking of ruining fabulous gowns with her stupid, stupid hair, you might remember that in this week’s first fashion recap, Jaime King and her Heidi braids were destroying a different Valentino gown that was far too beautiful to be subjected to such an awful hairdo. Here we go again, this time in a color that doesn’t suit her and a dress that’s at least two sizes too big. If you want to go around in clown makeup and Swedish milkmaid hair, that’s your business. But when you subject unwilling couture to humiliation by wearing beautiful gowns when you look this stupid – the Democracy Diva will not stand for such nonsense.

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© Democracy Diva, 2012.
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