There’s more fabulous to behold and more fugly to mock.
LADY GAGA in London // dress and shoes by Aquilano.Rimondi, necklace by Chanel
The dress: exquisite. The shoes: beyond breathtaking. The teacup: hilarious. When I have a team of bodyguards and a gay ginger handler always standing directly behind me and looking really intense, I too will know the luxury of carrying a teacup and saucer all around London with me. The sunglasses, the gloves, and the pearls are fantastic. I’m always of the belief that little formal gloves should come back in a big way, so I hope Gaga continues to rock that trend.
LADY GAGA in London // top and skirt by Yves Saint Laurent, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I love me some understated Gaga. It’s gotten to the point where this simplicity is more shocking than a dress made out of bird beaks and shrunken gerbil heads or whatever else is in Gaga’s closet. Love the gloves, of course.
LADY GAGA in London // top and shorts by Yves Saint Laurent
Did you ever think you’d live to see the day where Gaga wore something as normal as SHORTS? Congratulations, kittens, because if Gaga’s in shorts, we’ve clearly all survived the apocalypse. Love how the shoes match the blouse. Also: gloves!
LADY GAGA in London // blouse and blazer by Moschino, shoes by Christian Louboutin
This is why I want Gaga’s life. Because in Gaga’s life, an event formal and serious enough for glasses, a blazer, a button-down and a tie does not require PANTS.
DITA VON TEESE at the Museum of Contemporary Art (MOCA) gala in Los Angeles // gown and fur stole by Jean Paul Gaultier
I knew it was Gaultier the moment I saw it – who else would design that stunning bodice? – and Dita is one of the only women alive fierce enough to pull off this gothic couture aesthetic. And as always, she takes something vintage-looking and borderline costumey and makes it look natural on her. That’s a trick that can’t be learned, dear readers.
JAIME KING at the MOCA gala in Los Angeles // gown by Oscar de la Renta, purse by Roger Viver
You can’t really go wrong with a black gown by Oscar, can you? I love the cut of the shoulders, the dress fits her beautifully, and the styling works well – formal, but not stuffy. I’m still not into her platinum locks, but this particular hairstyle looks great on her and softens up her features quite a bit.
NICOLE RICHIE at the MOCA gala in Los Angeles // gown by Julien Macdonald, purse by House of Harlow
It’s a little sloppy and overworked, and the styling is kind of a mess. The purse is fine, but the hair is downright ugly, and platform thick-strapped silver sandals should NEVER be worn under a sheer mauve gown. The color is interesting, but not necessarily beautiful – it’s just a touch too dingy, and the deconstructed elements of the dress only emphasize that quality. Overall, I think it’s still an okay look, but she’s got to iron out the details.
ROSE MCGOWAN at the MOCA gala in Los Angeles // gown by Hervé L. Leroux
The dress is basic, but the color is so beautiful, I can’t help but love it. It also flatters her perfectly, and Rose isn’t exactly known for well-tailored, well-fitted garments. I hate the green earrings, and wish she’d gone for more blinging bracelets, but it’s hard to look anything but great in this killer color.
KIRSTEN DUNST at the MOCA gala in Los Angeles // gown by Rodarte, purse by Chanel
That color blue is just terrible. I can’t see why anyone over the age of twelve would look at that electric sky blue and want to wear it. Furthermore, the shape and fit of this is hilariously awful. Kristen is itsy-bitsy, and looks about six months pregnant in this nightmare of a dress. And you know what I’m going to say about that hem, darlings. If an extra foot of fabric is hanging sadly on the ground behind you, your dress is too long.
GWEN STEFANI at the MOCA gala in Los Angeles // gown by Carven
The dress looks like a straightjacket made of garbage bags, the hair is awful, and the shoes are worse.
GWEN STEFANI at the Los Angeles launch of her clothing line // jacket, pants and shoes by L.A.M.B.
I mean, she’s launching her own clothing line, so I guess it makes sense to wear the most attention-grabbing thing you’ve designed. But I can’t say this is anything but a complete eyesore. It’s actually difficult to look at that print. And when you’re being photographed, concerns about people being physically incapable of looking at your picture should control how you dress.
MICHELLE WILLIAMS at the New York premiere of My Week with Marilyn // dress by Erdem, shoes by Roger Vivier
JEWELRY. INTERESTING SHOES. THEY EXIST. FIND THEM. Michelle, you’re doing a disservice to a dress this delicate and beautiful if you don’t support it with the right accessories.
AMY ADAMS at the Hollywood premiere of The Muppets // dress by Roland Mouret, shoes by Jimmy Choo
This was my Spring 2012 red carpet prediction for Emma Stone, but this ginger is rocking it just as hard as Emma did in my imagination. For once, I actually love the nude silly putty pumps, because they match the straps of the dress in a really interesting way. That red is positively magnetic, the dress fits her like a dream, and the bold color-blocking works wonders on Amy’s adorable little figure. Definitely a dress I’d kill to wear.
RASHIDA JONES at the Hollywood premiere of The Muppets // dress by Giambattista Valli, shoes by Jimmy Choo
A solid entry by Rashida, who always seems to struggle on the red carpet in spite of the fact that she’s totally bangin’. The shape isn’t terrific, but the prints and textures are fab and the shoes are super cute. Love the cocktail ring.
SOFIA VERGARA at the Hollywood premiere of Happy Feet 2 // dress by Carolina Herrera
Too much tit, darling. And is it just me, or is she starting to look a little Botoxed? The fuchsia earrings and the red patterned shoes are just killing me.
ELIZABETH OLSEN at a luncheon for Martha Marcy May Marlene
She might wear shapeless garments like her sisters, but at least she opts for white so she doesn’t look like a creature that lives under a bridge. This is boring and a bit matronly, but the purse is adorable.
MIRANDA KERR at a Victoria’s Secret event in New York City
Eh, she can do better than this fake Marilyn Monroe crap. Miranda, you have a ridonkulous body and a baby with Orlando Bloom and the cutest dimples in the whole wild world. Wear something worthy of all that.
DIANNA AGRON at a Movado event // watch by Movado
I actually think this dress is fine on her, and I sort of love the shoes for their badassery and the fact that they’re a bit of a surprise. I’m not sure whether they’re heeled or not, which changes how I feel about them. But the lifeless hair and lack of makeup are disheartening. You’re never fully dressed when you’re giving crazy eyes, Dianna. Keep that in mind.
FREIDA PINTO in Los Angeles // dress by Michael Angel, shoes by Roger Vivier
That dress is an acid trip on a potato sack, but leave it to Freida Pinto to make it look fabulous. The shoes are a bit much, though.
RACHEL BILSON at a Vanessa Bruno event in Los Angeles // blazer, blouse and skirt by Vanessa Bruno
Cute, but the shoes are a disaster.