CATHERINE, DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGE in London // gown by Alexander McQueen
Simple, glamorous, and mermaid hair all the way. That’s the Duchess Catherine guarantee.
ROONEY MARA at the New York premiere of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo // dress by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Christian Louboutin
The Girl with the All-Black Wardrobe donned more little black garments than you can imagine on her press tour this week. This was by far my favorite – fabulous, sexy, and dramatic cut-outs; love the sheerness and the drama of her pale skin and red lips against all that black. It’s not earth-shattering, but it’s beautiful. Let’s look at the back:
A fabulous little surprise, no? Very romantic and sexy, a little goth, but delicate. And those infamous red soles really pop in this photo, don’t they? Simply fantastic.
ROONEY MARA at the Stockholm premiere of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo // jumpsuit by Roksanda Ilincic, shoes by Brian Atwood
Oy. It’s like she took all the cute elements out of the Prabal Gurung dress and left us with with this sad, strange cut-out jumpsuit. This is all kinds of ill-fitting and weirdly shaped.
ROONEY MARA on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon // dress by Rodarte for Opening Ceremony, shoes by Prada
That high neck looks a little absurdly old-fashioned, but the dress is cute and the shoes are perfect.
HELEN MIRREN at the British Comedy Awards in London // dress by Dolce & Gabbana
Lose the gloves and the necklace, and it’s pure perfection. She’s just got a few too many accessories for a star-spangled half-lace dress.
SCARLETT JOHANSSON at the New York City premiere of We Bought a Zoo // top and skirt by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Jimmy Choo
If you’re going to wear a crop top, wear it. Don’t make us try and figure out what that paper-thin slice of porcelain is. If you’re too shy to show skin, don’t show any at all – this is kind of half-assed, don’t you think? Also, hair. It’s a problem.
MIA WASIKOWSKA in New York City // dress and shoes by Elie Saab
One of these days, she’s going to beat out Taylor Swift for the title of Most Boring Celebrity Dresser. Give me something to talk about besides how stupid your hair looks!
OLIVIA WILDE at the New York City premiere of The Iron Lady // dress by Dolce & Gabbana
The high shoulders and cropped sleeves make her look very uncomfortable. The collar is strange, and her bangs are making me upset. Also, aren’t we done wearing LBDs with leopard-print shoes on the red carpet? Leave that to those of us who don’t get the latest runway collections sent to them for free.
ANNE HATHAWAY at the New York City premiere of The Iron Lady
I remember a time when I was excited for what Anne Hathaway would wear. Where has that time gone, dear readers?
JESSICA BIEL in New York City // gown and purse by Valentino
I’m really no fan of hers, but I think she looks pretty damn great here. She’s got severe features and she’s finally found ways to soften them up a bit. I don’t love the neck and shoulders on that gown, but I think it works nicely on her.
KATE BECKINSALE in Los Angeles // dress by Michael Kors, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Don’t put a giant tacky belt over a magician’s cape and tell me it’s a cocktail dress, honey. I’m too smart to fall for that shit.
FERGIE in Los Angeles // dress by J’Aton, purse by Judith Leiber, shoes by Fergie Footwear
Fergie, if you double-book a red carpet event and a bondage convention again, you have to remember to change out of your S&M gear in the limo.
KHLOE KARDASHIAN in New York City // shoes by United Nude
Oh, sweet lord, when will they stop? When will Khloe realize that a) heart stockings do not belong on a girl older than 18 and b) even if they did, she is so not the woman to be wearing them with a leather babydoll dress. But unfortunately, the fugliness doesn’t stop there:
In Khloe’s defense, those shoes seem perfect for her, as they’re hideous and desperate for attention.
DIANE KRUGER in Beverly Hills // gown by Emilio Pucci, shoes by Brian Atwood
I’m never a proponent of two-skirted dresses – pick one! – and I don’t think the red platform pumps were a good idea at all. But I think the halter neckline is beautiful on her and the styling looks beautiful (aside from the shoes).
NICOLE RICHIE in Beverly Hills // gown by Osman, purse by House of Harlow
It’s far too long, but she’s the rare woman who can work those cut-outs, the teensy little thing. I dig the earrings and the purse, but the pool of fabric surrounding her feet is distracting me.
MICHELLE PFEIFFER at the New York premiere of New Year’s Eve // dress, belt and purse by Alexander McQueen
Fun shoes, but I’d have welcomed a touch of color somewhere.
OLIVIA PALERMO in New York City // dress by Marchesa, purse and shoes by Valentino
It’s a dress that we’ve seen before, but she’s accessorized it particularly well. Those shoes are really fantastic, and the purse is beautiful.
NINA DOBREV in Los Angeles // dress by Monique Lhuillier, purse by Rene Caovilla, shoes by Brian Atwood
Oh, it’s totally obnoxious, but isn’t that kind of the point? If they didn’t clash so horribly with the red carpet, I’d think the heels were actually a fun risk to take.
ABIGAIL BRESLIN in New York City
She looks like a gothic prairie bride in a really cheap wig.