Welcome, dear readers, to your fabulous red carpet recap.
EMMA WATSON in New York City
dress and shoes by J. Mendel
In case you’d forgotten what sheer, utter perfection looks like, Emma Watson is here to remind you. The cut of this dress is extraordinary – I’m going to call it now, everyone will be attempting to rock that straight-across neckline for the next few months. And no one will do it as well as Emma. The textured stripes across the bottom of the dress give it just enough intrigue, and the shoes? They’re so gorgeous, I’m almost angry about it.
KATY PERRY at Paris Fashion Week
top, skirt, necklace, belt, purse, and shoes by Chanel
Love it. Definitely my favorite Katy look in a long time. Most starlets opt for head-to-toe Chanel at the Paris Fashion Week show, but few can make the label look as youthful and fashion-forward as Katy. The necklace, belt, and purse are all brilliant, show-stopping accessories. But more than anything, I love the mixed black-and-white prints. In the immortal words of Jack Donaghy, “It’s called power-clashing, and I do it because I can.”
KATY PERRY in Berlin
jacket and skirt by Alice + Olivia, blouse by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Christian Louboutin
What’s the opposite of power-clashing? Weakness-matching? That phrase might be almost as awkward as this schoolgirl-on-coke get-up.
SANDRA BULLOCK in New York City
dress by Giambattista Valli, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
Wow. I don’t know what’s making me want to see Gravity more – the terrifying trailers, or how hard Sandra Bullock has been working it on this press tour. Like Emma Watson’s, Sandra’s little white dress is anything but basic, and she serves up head-to-toe deliciousness with those truly spectacular shoes.
KERRY WASHINGTON in New York City
dress by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I just started watching Scandal, so my love of Kerry Washington has positively exploded this week. Just look at that pose. This woman could stop traffic by putting a hand on her hip. Anyway, she’s wearing the shit out of that dress, and nothing looks better against the New York City sidewalk than the red pop of a Louboutin heel.
KERRY WASHINGTON in New York City
dress by J. Mendel, watch by Movado, purse by Hunting Season, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Love the dress; hate the length. And the all-white accessories work, but I’ve long since grown tired of the white pump that every damn woman in Hollywood wore all summer long.
CATE BLANCHETT in New York City
dress by Armani Privé, shoes by Roger Vivier
It’s a beautiful dress, but I think we’ve seen almost every look from this Armani collection on the red carpet, and half of them on Cate Blanchett. I’m growing weary of the washed-out color, and it’s worse when paired with those shoes, which can only be described as Old Lady Ivory. Also, why the clown makeup, Cate?
DAKOTA FANNING in Rio de Janeiro
gown by Elie Saab
A stunning gown with a beautiful neckline, but I prefer when Dakota injects a little youth and funk into her wardrobe. It keeps things interesting.
DAKOTA FANNING at Paris Fashion Week
gown, purse, and shoes by Louis Vuitton
I tend to hate sheer overlays over mini-dresses, though I have to say, this one is delicate and beautiful enough to work. But the chunky blue platforms and LV print purse push this a little over the edge into tacky. Again, I understand the desire to deck yourself out entirely in one label when attending their fashion show, but there’s a way to do it without looking like a Louis Vuitton mannequin.
ZHANG ZIYI in Qingdao, China
gown by Zuhair Murad
Listen, throw the obscenely beautiful Zhang Ziyi into a couture gown and she’s going to look good. That’s easy. But I find myself wishing for a bigger risk from a woman as well-dressed as Zhang.
EMMY ROSSUM in Los Angeles
gown by Jenny Packham
This was my Fall 2013 red carpet prediction for Amy Adams, and I do love the Little Mermaid-goes-art-deco vibe to it. But the green earrings were a step too far, and that makeup is a crime against Emmy’s lovely face.
KIERNAN SHIPKA in Los Angeles
jacket, pants, purse, and shoes by Emporio Armani
And now, for your regular reminder of how awesome Kiernan Shipka is: This week, Kiernan Shipka continues to be awesome, this time in printed ladypants. Over and out.
JESSICA ALBA in Los Angeles
top and skirt by Narciso Rodriguez, purse by MaxMara, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood
Since half of Jessica Alba’s wardrobe is black-and-white Narciso Rodriguez looks, I’m going to reserve the right to be overly critical of any such looks. Jessica and Narciso: this is okay, but you can both do better.
DANIEL RADCLIFFE in New York City
suit by Todd Snyder
A good steaming would have helped, but this is a delicious suit. Daniel Radcliffe is on track to becoming my favorite man to watch on the red carpet.
LIZZY CAPLAN in New York City
dress by Andrew Gn
The dress itself is fantastic, but I think the accessories she paired with it aren’t quite right. I’d have lost the turquoise ring and probably saved the black-and-white shoes for a different dress.
LIZZY CAPLAN in New York City
dress by Alberta Ferretti, shoes by Christian Louboutin
This was my Fall 2013 red carpet prediction for Lily Collins. I’m not sure I love the color on Lizzy, at least not with that shade of lipstick. And while her bow-adorned Loubs are adorable and super-trendy, I’m not sure they work particularly well with this dress.
SALMA HAYEK at Paris Fashion Week
dress and sunglasses by Balenciaga, shoes by McQ Alexander McQueen
I love this dress to death, but Salma Hayek proves you can in fact overdose on monochromatic accessories. And those shoes make her feet look simply terrifying.
HAILEE STEINFELD in Paris
top by Osman, pants by Clover Canyon, shoes by Brian Atwood
Ah, youth. Go on, Hailee – curl those bangs and wear those hideous baggy pants with what appears to be satellites printed all over them. You’re only young once.
ELLE FANNING at Paris Fashion Week
top and skirt by Louis Vuitton
I love you, Elle Fanning. Now please, for the love of God, stop wearing flatforms.
MALIN AKERMAN in Hollywood
jumpsuit by Osman, purse by Devi Kroell, shoes by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Parisa/Splash News
Oof. Where to begin? The half-bald hair? The awkward way this drapes over her armpit and crotch? The shoes, which have no business being worn with a white jumpsuit? If this is what people mean when they say the 70s are back, God help us all.
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© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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Does Malin Akerman have, like, a tremendously huge head or is it just that picture?
Yes. Both. All of the above.
I was just coming down here to comment on how it looks like she doesn’t have a neck.