The White House Correspondents’ Dinner took place a few blocks from my apartment, and I’m still exhausted because those drunk-ass nerds were partying SO LOUD on the streets last night.

MICHELLE OBAMA
gown by Marchesa

Photo: Pool/Getty

You can only see half of the First Lady, but she’s still twice as fabulous as every other woman at this (and every other) event. Hail to the FLOTUS and her off-the-shoulder glam.

JULIANNA MARGULIES
gown by Jean Dessès, purse by Roger Vivier

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

Vintage perfection. I think the draping of this gown is absolutely extraordinary, even if the waistband didn’t age as well as the rest of the fabric.

ANNA CHLUMSKY
gown by Giulietta, purse by Rafe, shoes by Sergio Rossi

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

Veep‘s right-hand lady hit the nail on the head when it comes to dressing for nerd prom. The proper White House Correspondents’ Dinner attire consists of something modern but not flashy, dressy but not fussy. Anna Chlumsky killed it in that regard, and she managed to not resemble an American flag. Well done.

JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS
gown by Antonio Berardi, purse by Edie Parker

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

I have a style obsession with Julia Louis-Dreyfus (and Selina Meyer, for that matter). She’s the best-dressed woman over fifty on the planet who isn’t named Helen Mirren, and she gives basic bitches half her age a run for their money. This Antonio Berardi gown is sleek, elegant, and fits her like a glove. And it makes the 5’3″ actress look positively statuesque.

IRINA SHAYK
top and pants by Atelier Versace, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

I don’t actually know who you are, Irina Shayk, but the internet tells me you’re a model, and my heart tells me that I love your jumpsuit. Ladies seem to shy away from trousers and jumpsuits at the WHCD – maybe they’re afraid of Hillary Clinton pantsuit jokes? But Irina managed to keep things formal and fabulous while wearing the non-metaphorical pants.

SOFIA VERGARA
gown by Romona Keveza

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

I had basically stopped writing about Sofia Vergara altogether, because there’s only so many times I can beg her to stop wearing the same gown over and over again. But apparently, she finally got her shit together and started heeding the Democracy Diva’s advice, because this is the best she’s ever looked on the red carpet. It’s so refreshing to see her in a clean, modern silhouette. The skirt still has a hint of mermaid-ness to it, and I don’t like the choker, but I’ll save those complaints for another day. I’m just so happy to finally see her in something different.

ROSE MCGOWAN
gown by Ulyana Sergeenko

Photo: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

I kind of hated this at first glance, but it’s been growing on me ever since. You have to admire a gal who’s willing to whip the twins out, when most ladies go conservative for Nerd Prom. But this corset is awesome, and the gown is interesting and memorable, and she probably made a few old white dudes have heart attacks on the red carpet. So, you go on with your bad self, Rose McGowan.

TAYLOR SCHILLING
gown by Zuhair Murad, purse by Rauwolf

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

If I see one more fashion blogger post a picture of an Orange is the New Black star and write, “Looks like [insert whatever color she happens to be wearing here] is the new black!”, I’m going to punch someone right in the fucking mouth. Seriously. It’s enough. That joke was barely funny the first time. And I swear, it happens for EVERY OINTB star, EVERY time they hit the red carpet. It’s exhausting. But that’s not Taylor Schilling’s fault, so let’s applaud how gorgeous she looks in this gown. The sheer sleeves and lace cut-outs are perfect details, but the matching purse and blue jewelry are just a little bit much.

BELLAMY YOUNG
gown by Romona Keveza

Photo: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

Scandal‘s First Lady definitely looked the part, fabulously draped in red. I’m not crazy about the hair or the makeup, but she is working the shit out of this gown.

LUPITA NYONG’O
gown and purse by Oscar de la Renta

Photo: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

Lupita continues to be my favorite person on this earth, but let’s be honest – this isn’t up to her usual caliber of total flawlessness. The top half of the dress is only okay, and the bottom is way too long. I love the pink lipstick, but not with this look. She’ll never look anything less than beautiful, because SHE’S INSANELY BEAUTIFUL, but fashion-wise, she could do a lot better.

ANNA KENDRICK
gown by J. Mendel

Photo: Paul Morigi

Snooze. It’s pretty, but Anna’s being upstaged by that awesome lady’s floral cane. My grandmother had the same one, except she would curl it over the crook of her arm like a purse and forget to actually use it. I miss that crazy ol’ broad.

OLIVIA MUNN
gown by J. Mendel

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

It’s got an incredible amount of detailing, but you can’t actually see most of it in that color. Seems like a bit of a waste to me. It also feels weirdly bridal for the red carpet.

JESSICA SIMPSON
gown by Carolina Herrera

Photo: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

God only knows what the hell Jessica Simpson was doing at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, but you know what? This is probably the best she’s looked in at least five years. The gown fits her almost shockingly well, considering what she usually wears. If she went with a less obviously fake hair color and just a bit less makeup, she would have been one of the best-dressed stars at this event.

KATHARINE MCPHEE
dress by Paule Ka, purse by Rodo, shoes by Bionda Castana

Photo: Arroyo-OConnor/AFF

I like the dress, but every other detail of this look is just strange. I don’t know who decided red accessories were the right choice for a coral dress, but they were wrong. And her face isn’t the same color as the rest of her body.

FREIDA PINTO
gown by Thakoon, purse by Jimmy Choo

Photo: Evan Agostini/Invision/AP

The color is phenomenal on her, but my praise ends there. What a bizarre silhouette. It’s not necessarily unflattering – at least, it makes her look tall and thin – but it’s strangely proportioned and not particularly pretty or interesting. If it weren’t worn by one of the world’s most beautiful women, I think I’d hate it. There might be a reason Thakoon doesn’t make a lot of gowns.

ANNASOPHIA ROBB
dress by Pamella Roland, purse by Edie Parker

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

Why so frumpy, little girl?

KRISTEN BELL
gown by Dolce & Gabbana, purse by Christian Louboutin

Photo: Arroyo-OConnor/AFF

I’m sorry, Kristen. I love you forever, but I think this silhouette was not meant for anyone over the age of nine. That very high, straight-across neckline, paired with the thick straps and the way the fabric poofs out at the belly – it all reads like “fussy overdressed toddler” to me.

CYNTHIA NIXON
gown by Tia Cibani

Photo: Getty

This is just an abstract, less aggressively hideous version of Kim Kardashian’s Met Gala couch gown from last year.

DARBY STANCHFIELD
gown by Alberta Ferretti

Photo: Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty

A redhead in green is supposed to be a hit no matter what, but… NO. Scandal‘s Darby Stanchfield looks like she stole this gown from a woodland nymph. And surprisingly enough, that isn’t a compliment.

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© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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