ASHLEY OLSEN and MARY-KATE OLSEN
Ashley’s gown by Gianfranco Ferré; Mary-Kate’s gown by Chanel
I thought it was adorable that Ashley and Mary-Kate chose each other as dates to the Met Gala, because sisters are awesome. (Though Elizabeth Olsen was also there and apparently not invited into this Olsen family photo.) Regardless, no one looked as fabulous AND on-theme (white tie and decorations, inspired by 1940s British designer Charles James) as these two fashion moguls, in modern-feeling takes on vintage ball gowns. I don’t know exactly when they stopped dressing like small homeless children, but I’m ever so grateful for the change.
JAY-Z and BEYONCÉ KNOWLES
tuxedo and gown by Givenchy
America’s other First Couple oozed elegance and glamour and coolness, with Jay opting for a white jacket, but not white tie, and Bey taking the peplum to previously unseen levels of stylishness. I wasn’t in love with Beyoncé’s gown until I saw it up close – it’s the texture that makes this truly remarkable. Let’s view her from behind, the way Queen Bey was meant to be viewed:
BLAM. I fucking hate trains, but I FUCKING LOVE THIS TRAIN. I WILL RIDE THIS TRAIN AS FAR AS BEYONCÉ WILL ALLOW ME TO.
Also, Jennifer Lawrence called because she’s really flattered that you stole her birdcage veil from last year’s Met Gala, but she’d like it back now, please.
DAVID BECKHAM and VICTORIA BECKHAM
tuxedo by Ralph Lauren; gown by Victoria Beckham
Themes be damned. The Beckhams have only one theme: looking better than anyone else on planet earth. And they’ve been nailing that theme for the last fifteen years.
BLAKE LIVELY and RYAN REYNOLDS
gown and tuxedo by Gucci
Blake looks every bit the goddess of love and beauty, which she always does when she manages to avoid her faulty styling instincts. Instead, she paired her heavenly gown with an even more heavenly accessory: Ryan Reynolds in a blue velvet tux.
EMMA STONE and ANDREW GARFIELD
top and skirt by Thakoon, purse by Tod’s; tuxedo by Band of Outsiders
Emma’s look might be just too casual for the Met Gala, even when half the attendees flouted the wardrobe “rules.” But from her messy braid to her crop top to her sarong-like skirt, she looks more appropriately dressed for a casual beach wedding than a white tie gala. But at least she brought us some gorgeous colors and sun-kissed beauty. And Andrew’s silver jacket is lovely.
TODD SPIEWAK and JIM PARSONS
Jim’s tuxedo by Brooks Brothers
Jim Parsons and his adorable partner knew how to make the theme work for them. Todd opted for a white tie and ivory suit, but not the full tails-and-decorations situation. Jim worked the shit out of his tails, and they looked particularly divine together, in opposing colors and matching brooches.
CHANEL IMAN and ASAP ROCKY
gown by Topshop; tuxedo by Topman
Chanel is definitely carrying this team, with her immaculately draped Topshop gown. She might not have needed all that fabric pooling around her ankles, but the detailing at the waist is extraordinary and her egg-shaped purse is to die for. ASAP looks about eleven years old, but appropriately thrilled to be prom-posing with his astonishingly beautiful girlfriend.
JOSHUA JACKSON and DIANE KRUGER
tuxedo and gown by Hugo Boss, purse by Edie Parker
There was no chance of Diane looking as good as she could have at this event. Hugo Boss can make some killer suits, great separates, and lovely accessories, but ball gowns are not their forte. It’s a perfectly lovely dress, but this is DIANE KRUGER at the motherfucking MET GALA. She should be in something so ridiculous and over-the-top and regal that it would look positively humiliating on anyone else but her. This? This is just a very, very pretty bridesmaids dress. She can do better.
Oh, and hi, Pacey. I kind of forgot you were here.
GISELE BÜNDCHEN and TOM BRADY
gown by Balenciaga; tuxedo by Tom Ford
They’re positively oozing “aren’t we your dream threesome?” right now. It’s what they do best.
CHRISSY TEIGEN and JOHN LEGEND
gown and tuxedo by Ralph Lauren, purse by Jimmy Choo
I could have loved this gown if it didn’t create a dog collar out of ruffles for Chrissy. I can only assume it’s to stop her from biting herself, the poor dear. Kudos to John Legend for dressing for the theme and looking delicious doing it, though.
JOHNNY DEPP and AMBER HEARD
tuxedo by Ralph Lauren; gown by Giambattista Valli
See, all the crazy shit Johnny Depp is wearing is actually perfect for the theme. Unfortunately, Johnny’s style is so cracked-out that it’s plausible that he carries around pocket watches and walking sticks all the time, which makes this feel a little less special. And Amber looks fine, but again, fine isn’t quite enough for this event.
KIM KARDASHIAN and KANYE WEST
gown and tuxedo by Lanvin
Well, anything would have been an improvement over last year’s couch disaster. But this is surprisingly boring for two people who will usually do literally anything for attention.
JAKE GYLLENHAAL and MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL
tuxedo by Givenchy; gown by Valentino
Again, it made my heart smile to see brother-sister acting-powerhouse duo Jake and Maggie together on the red carpet, until I realized that they both look like total hipster douchebags. He looks like a televangelist, and she’s wearing a fucking circus tent.
NEIL PATRICK HARRIS and DAVID BURTKA
tuxedos by Thom Browne
Oh, boys. I love you to death, and I cannot even describe how happy I am that you put in so much effort to your costumes. But there is a such thing as trying too hard. And when you combine that with a refusal to wear pants that are the proper length and a desperate desire to display your bare ankles to the world, you seem like the two most pretentious divas alive. Also, David, god bless you, but you look like Ellen DeGeneres. (There’s nothing wrong with that, but I have a feeling it’s not exactly what you were going for.)