Life is tough this week. Make things a little easier with some fashion distractions.
Best Dressed: JAIMIE ALEXANDER
gown by Genny, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz
It fills my soul with joy when lesser-known celebrities top my best-dressed lists at major events. It’s like a middle finger right in the face of the A-listers. “Oh, you think your multi-year contract with Dior means you can out-dress me, Jennifer Lawrence? SUCK A NUT, I’M FABULOUS.” A relatively little-known starlet, in a relatively little-known designer, just makes this all the more badass. This dress had the perfect combination of old-Hollywood glamour and space-agey coolness, a devastatingly gorgeous neckline, and also POCKETS. When am I not excited about gowns with pockets? NEVER, that’s when.
Runner-Up: BRIE LARSON
gown by Calvin Klein, jewelry by Chopard
Two thumbs up for Brie, serving up a modern, formal take on Princess Leia’s gold bikini, except without all that uncomfortable slave/sex object to a pile of goo stuff. This was a little bit daring, a lot bit glam, and all-around fun to look at. Now that she’s officially an Oscar nominee, I’m excited to see what she has in store for us for her “give me a goddamn statue, Cate Blanchett doesn’t need another one” promo tour.
Honorable Mention: EDDIE REDMAYNE
suit by Gucci
At first glance, I was so disappointed in Eddie Redmayne, who I consider one of the best-dressed people (not just men) in Hollywood. He’s daring and interesting, and I rolled my eyes to see him in basic bitch black. But THEN I looked closely, and noticed that my freckly British boyfriend is wearing a black-on-black POLKA-DOT, because he is THE GREATEST, MOST DELICIOUS MAN ON EARTH. I love you, Eddie. Never change.
gown by Marchesa, jewelry by Jacob & Co., purse by Judith Leiber
Star-spangled sexiness. She let the ladies out to play, but kept her sleeves long and flowy, which provided a brilliant balance that made this one of Viola’s best looks yet.
gown by Valentino
Speaking of letting the ladies out to play, KA-BLAM, KIRSTEN DUNST. She may not have won a Golden Globe, but she was the clear champion of the Milky White Globes. She’s working that 21st-century Elvira aesthetic damn well.
tuxedo by Dolce & Gabbana
Men of Hollywood: be bold. Be daring. Be David Oyelowo, werqing the shit out of a purple plaid tuxedo. I don’t think he actually needed the vest (though I understand the impulse to keep it, lest he seem too informally dressed at such a major event), and that stark white shirt doesn’t actually look that nice with the colors he’s wearing. But I can express nothing less than love and admiration for David’s fashion choices.
gown by Zac Posen, jewelry by Neil Lane
A stupendous shade of sapphire, an on-point off-the-shoulder trend, and a mega-flattering silhouette raised this from an ordinary dress to a truly beautiful, if not particularly original, red carpet experience.
gown by Elizabeth Kennedy, purse by Nathalie Trad
If you can make ME like a minimalist gown with a train, you’ve got to be doing something right. Laverne is doing EVERYTHING right. Her gowns always make her look statuesque and powerful, yet delicate and feminine, which is a nearly-impossible line to walk.
gown by Giambattista Valli, jewelry by Harry Winston, purse by Judith Leiber, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Call it mustard, marigold, or chartreuse – just call me FUCKING THRILLED that JLo FINALLY found a gown that doesn’t look like bedazzled panties with some capes attached. Sure, it’s still a size too tight and over-accessorized, but this is such a huge improvement over the sea of cut-out ice skating costumes she’s worn nonstop for the past few years, I can’t really complain.
gown by Saint Laurent
I probably would have thrown my television across the room if I had seen this dress on anyone else, but context is everything. And the context here is that when you’re pushing 80, you get to wear a bodice made entirely of ruffles. Jane Fonda has worked hard for decades. She has earned the right to dress like a Hostess cupcake, goddammit.
gown by Dolce & Gabbana, jewelry by Norman Silverman
Even though I haven’t seen a movie with Kate Bosworth in it in well over a decade (what’s up, Blue Crush), I never wonder what she’s doing on the red carpet. Because no matter how insane it is that she’s still a regular at industry events, I don’t mind it, because the girl. Can. DRESS. But she definitely did not bring her A-game to the Globes this year. She brought enough sequins to throw a week-long drag ball, but her reliably fascinating red carpet skills were nowhere to be found. This was fine, but not much more than that.
gown by Michael Kors
Listen, I’m probably never going to pick a Michael Kors gown as best-dressed for anything. I find most of his work painfully boring – and even worse, he actually makes interesting women look far more basic than they actually are. Take Olivia Wilde, for example: a cool, talented, stunningly beautiful woman who I always forget is cool because she’s ALWAYS WEARING MICHAEL KORS. Girlfriend needs to cut all ties to MK and start over with a label that’s groovy enough to handle her.
gown by Atelier Versace
Only two details make this different from 80% of Amy Adams’s wardrobe: 1) the weird shape of the straps/armpit, which make her shoulders look twice as broad as they actually are, and 2) the beading, which must have looked like a horrible mistake from far away.
gown by Krikor Jabotian
If the cape and shoes had been gold, this might have been my favorite look of the night. But my GOD. Tacking a white sheet onto this funky metallic dress was the worst red carpet decision since someone gave Giuliana Rancic a job.
gown by Reem Acra, jewelry by Chopard
If you’re wearing illusion netting, isn’t the whole point of it that it looks like you’re naked? If we can see the line where the netting ends, doesn’t that defeat its very purpose?
gown by Lanvin, jewelry by Forevermark
Rachel McAdams, dressed and styled like a 90s bridesmaid, for reasons I may never understand.
gown by Marc Jacobs
When starlets are selling color and print, I’m usually buying it, but leave it to Maggie Gyllenhaal t take one of the most interesting dresses on the red carpet and make it look fit for an old lady. She brings that septuagenarian quality to everything she wears, and it drives me fucking bananas.
gown by Lanvin
gown by Michael Kors, jewelry by Forevermark
Terrible to the point of hilarity. Has anyone ever looked good in a choker on the red carpet? I don’t understand why Hollywood is still trying to make chokers happen. IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
Worst Dressed: ROONEY MARA
gown by Alexander McQueen
I can appreciate the haunting beauty this gown surely had on the runway, but that does not make it acceptable for this event. Partly because HOLY FUCK, ROONEY MARA, COULD YOU PLEASE WEAR SOMETHING OTHER THAN YOUR SIGNATURE SAD NAKED DRESSES? And partly because she looks like the reanimated corpse of a drowned bride, which is better suited for a Game of Thrones red wedding than it is for a Golden Globes red carpet.