March Fabness 2017, Round 1: Gucci Bracket

Four new brutal match-ups, and shit’s about to get WEIRD.

ZACHARY QUINTO vs. FELICITY JONES

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Felicity in Dior

Zachary: Bleep blorp bleep blorp.

Felicity: I’m not awake enough for this.

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Felicity in CO

Zachary: *bzzzz* I AM A FASHION ROBOT.

Felicity: No, seriously, where’s the coffee?

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Felicity in Valentino

Zachary: BLEEP BLORP THE MATRIX CREATED MY FLAWLESS OUTFIT

Felicity: Or maybe some tea? Cocaine? ANYTHING?

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Zachary in Givenchy; Felicity in Dior

Zachary: I HAVE COME FROM OUTER SPACE TO TAKE OVER YOUR WARDROBE.

Felicity: So you’re an alien now? Not a robot?

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Felicity in McQueen

Zachary: *hides behind beard*

Felicity: You are exhausting.

NATALIE PORTMAN vs. THANDIE NEWTON

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Natalie in Dior; Thandie in Chanel

Natalie: Did you know that if you rearrange the letters in THANDIE NEWTON, you get NATALIE PORTMAN?

Thandie: No, you definitely don’t.

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Natalie in Dior; Thandie in Schiaparelli

Natalie: Fine. I was trying to play nice, but I guess that’s over.

Thandie: Bitch, it is Monday. Nobody’s got time to play nice.

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Natalie in Valentino; Thandie in Schiaparelli

Natalie: What did you say? I couldn’t hear you over the STAMPEDE OF HORSES RUNNING AWAY FROM A FERRIS WHEEL ON YOUR GOWN.

Thandie: Seriously? I’m supposed to take fashion criticism from a woman covered in silly string?

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Natalie in Dior; Thandie in Erdem

Natalie: If you think I have such bad taste, why are you currently cosplaying as me?

Thandie: Oh, get over yourself.

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Natalie in Prada; Thandie in Monse

Natalie: Enjoy the obscurity of getting eliminated in Round 1, Thandie. I’m off to bring home the crown.

Thandie: *grumbles inaudibly*

NAOMI WATTS vs. KATE BOSWORTH

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Naomi in Cinq á Sept; Kate in Giambattista Valli

Naomi: How DARE you.

Kate: How dare I what?

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Naomi in Valentino; Kate in Suno

Naomi: You know what you did.

Kate: Actually, I have no idea what you’re talking about.

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Naomi in Armani Privé; Kate in Erdem

Naomi: Tell it to the judge.

Kate: Um… what judge?

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Naomi in Michael Kors; Kate in J. Mendel

Naomi: SAD! PATHETIC!

Kate: Are you okay?

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Naomi in Burberry; Kate in Dolce & Gabbana

Naomi: I KNOW YOU’VE BEEN WIRETAPPING MY WARDROBE, KATE.

Kate: Go to bed, Naomi. You’re drunk.

DIANE KRUGER vs. MARGOT ROBBIE

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Diane in Marc Jacobs; Margot in Proenza Schouler

Diane: Oh, you poor thing.

Margot: Sorry?

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Margot in Gucci

Diane: You had to be in that terrible movie where Jared Leto mailed people used condoms and pretended it was part of his “method,” right?

Margot: Oh… um…

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Diane in Dior; Margot in Calvin Klein

Diane: You poor, poor dear.

Margot: Oh, no, it wasn’t –

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Diane in Kaufmanfranco; Margot in Miu Miu

Diane: It’s okay, Margot. You can be honest with me.

Margot: No, you have me confused with someone else, I –

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Diane in Elie Saab; Margot in McQueen

Diane: Cut the shit, Margot. Tell me the truth.

Margot: *whispers* Be cool. Jared’s around the corner and so far, I’ve managed to convince him I’m a unicorn so he won’t try to talk to me about his next project. Don’t you dare blow my cover.

Don’t miss a single motherfucking poll. Catch up here: Versace Bracket • Prada Bracket  Givenchy Bracket • Valentino Bracket  McQueen Bracket • Dior Bracket •  Chanel Bracket 


© Democracy Diva, 2017.
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