Four new brutal match-ups, and shit’s about to get WEIRD.
ZACHARY QUINTO vs. FELICITY JONES
Zachary: Bleep blorp bleep blorp.
Felicity: I’m not awake enough for this.
Zachary: *bzzzz* I AM A FASHION ROBOT.
Felicity: No, seriously, where’s the coffee?
Zachary: BLEEP BLORP THE MATRIX CREATED MY FLAWLESS OUTFIT
Felicity: Or maybe some tea? Cocaine? ANYTHING?
Zachary: I HAVE COME FROM OUTER SPACE TO TAKE OVER YOUR WARDROBE.
Felicity: So you’re an alien now? Not a robot?
Zachary: *hides behind beard*
Felicity: You are exhausting.
NATALIE PORTMAN vs. THANDIE NEWTON
Natalie: Did you know that if you rearrange the letters in THANDIE NEWTON, you get NATALIE PORTMAN?
Thandie: No, you definitely don’t.
Natalie: Fine. I was trying to play nice, but I guess that’s over.
Thandie: Bitch, it is Monday. Nobody’s got time to play nice.
Natalie: What did you say? I couldn’t hear you over the STAMPEDE OF HORSES RUNNING AWAY FROM A FERRIS WHEEL ON YOUR GOWN.
Thandie: Seriously? I’m supposed to take fashion criticism from a woman covered in silly string?
Natalie: If you think I have such bad taste, why are you currently cosplaying as me?
Thandie: Oh, get over yourself.
Natalie: Enjoy the obscurity of getting eliminated in Round 1, Thandie. I’m off to bring home the crown.
Thandie: *grumbles inaudibly*
NAOMI WATTS vs. KATE BOSWORTH
Naomi: How DARE you.
Kate: How dare I what?
Naomi: You know what you did.
Kate: Actually, I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Naomi: Tell it to the judge.
Kate: Um… what judge?
Naomi: SAD! PATHETIC!
Kate: Are you okay?
Naomi: I KNOW YOU’VE BEEN WIRETAPPING MY WARDROBE, KATE.
Kate: Go to bed, Naomi. You’re drunk.
DIANE KRUGER vs. MARGOT ROBBIE
Diane: Oh, you poor thing.
Diane: You had to be in that terrible movie where Jared Leto mailed people used condoms and pretended it was part of his “method,” right?
Margot: Oh… um…
Diane: You poor, poor dear.
Margot: Oh, no, it wasn’t –
Diane: It’s okay, Margot. You can be honest with me.
Margot: No, you have me confused with someone else, I –
Diane: Cut the shit, Margot. Tell me the truth.
Margot: *whispers* Be cool. Jared’s around the corner and so far, I’ve managed to convince him I’m a unicorn so he won’t try to talk to me about his next project. Don’t you dare blow my cover.