March Fabness 2017, Round 1: McQueen Bracket

Come, dear readers, and experience the joy of democracy! 

EVAN RACHEL WOOD vs. SIENNA MILLER

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Evan in Altuzarra; Sienna in Hilfiger

Evan: Be honest. Does this outfit make me look like Ellen?

Sienna: No! But if you were wearing sneakers… maybe.

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Evan in Jonathan Simkhai; Sienna in Burberry

Evan: Ugh, thank you. That was going to bother me all day.

Sienna: Happy to help!

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Evan in Cinq á Sept; Sienna in Burberry

Evan: So, what are you shilling this week?

Sienna: Shilling? What do you mean?

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Evan in Altuzarra; Sienna in Gucci

Evan: Shilling. Promoting. What are you here to sell?

Sienna: Uh… myself?

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Evan in Altuzarra; Sienna in Gucci

Evan: Oh, God. Am I talking to one of those “actresses” who makes like MAYBE one decent movie every five years but is still somehow on every red carpet, all the time, always?

Sienna: … Well, maybe, but you also just described yourself.

ELLE FANNING vs. ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO

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Elle in Thakoon; Alessandra in Talbot Runhof/Alessandra Rich

Elle: Wow.

Alessandra: What?

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Elle in Gucci; Alessandra in Temperley London

Elle: I’m just like really impressed with you.

Alessandra: Oh, aren’t you sweet!

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Elle in Dolce & Gabbana; Alessandra in Versace

Elle: Like I didn’t even know you could still DO that.

Alessandra: Um… do what?

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Elle in Zuhair Murad; Alessandra in Balmain

Elle: Dress like that!

Alessandra: Dress like what?

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Elle in Elie Saab; Alessandra in Ralph & Russo

Elle: I mean, you’re 35! That’s like a HUNDRED in fashion years! And they still give you all the nice dresses and everything!

Alessandra: Child, I will CUT you.

KARLIE KLOSS vs. JESSICA BIEL

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Karlie in Victoria Beckham; Jessica in Ralph Lauren

Karlie: I’m more boring.

Jessica: No, I’M more boring.

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Karlie in Michael Kors; Jessica in Elie Saab

Karlie: I’m a tall, blonde, thin model.

Jessica: I’m a tall, brunette, thin actress.

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Karlie in Naeem Khan; Jessica in Elie Saab

Karlie: I’m so boring, I was a Victoria’s Secret Angel. And I enjoyed it.

Jessica: Bitch, I’m so boring, I was on 7th Heaven. Game over.

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Karlie in Marchesa; Jessica in Elie Saab

Karlie: Well, I’m so boring, I’m in Taylor Swift’s squad! We are the forgettable QUEENS of boredom!

Jessica: I’m so boring, I’m married to Justin Timberlake! We are boring relationship goals!

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Karlie in Brandon Maxwell; Jessica in Kaufmanfranco

Karlie: Oh, shit. You’re right. You’re definitely more boring.

Jessica: Thank you. Damn. Took you long enough.

RUTH NEGGA vs. JENNIFER CONNELLY

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Ruth in Delpozo; Jennifer in Louis Vuitton

Ruth: Am I doing this right?

Jennifer: Doing what right?

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Ruth in Oscar de la Renta; Jennifer in Louis Vuitton

Ruth: This. The March Fabness thing.

Jennifer: I’m not sure you can do it wrong, actually.

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Ruth in Valentino; Jennifer in Louis Vuitton

Ruth: Really?

Jennifer: Yeah. Pose, throw a little shade, bing bang boom, you’re done.

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Ruth in Valentino; Jennifer in Louis Vuitton

Ruth: So, I just stand here, and ask you why your tits crest like the waves of the ocean, and then go home?

Jennifer: Well, I like to hit the bar first, but, yeah, pretty much.

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Ruth and Jennifer in Louis Vuitton

Ruth: Did you hit the bar head-first? A concussion would definitely explain your fashion choices.

Jennifer: Atta girl, Ruthie. Welcome to the family.

Don’t miss a single motherfucking poll. Catch up here: Versace Bracket • Prada Bracket  Givenchy Bracket • Valentino Bracket  Dior Bracket • Gucci Bracket • Chanel Bracket


© Democracy Diva, 2017.
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