Posts filed in:Red Carpet

Ranting and raving over the best and worst in red carpet fashion.

The Best of the Week in Fashion

So many people wore so many different outfits this week that I had to split my weekly fashion recap into two parts! Here’s everything I loved this week, on the red carpet and on the street.

The Most Innovative

Wesfeld gown, made entirely of plastic

Project Runway alums Daniel Feld and Wesley Nault won a design contest called Plastics Make it Possible by making two couture gowns entirely out of plastic. This is one of them.

I cannot stop staring at this gown. The boys designed it before they even heard about the contest, and then decided it would be perfect for the challenge. It’s simply astounding.

A Surprise Victory

Rihanna in Christian Siriano

Okay. I hate Rihanna. But I love Christian. I am torn. But this is one of my favorite dresses ever, and while many people have been wearing adapted versions of it, this print is just astounding. And Rihanna’s not even fucking it up with ugly shoes or accessories. Even that hair, while an eyesore, is not as bad as usual. Okay, RiRi. I’ll give you this one. Just please, please, stop making music.

I Shouldn’t Like This… But I Do

Anne Hathaway in Marchesa

For the record, the weird red thing behind her is attached to the wall, not her dress. For a second I thought she was pooping roses. And I wasn’t even surprised, because if anybody could poop roses, it’s Anne Hathaway.

Anyway. The dress. It’s a short blue metallic feathered minidress. That sentence alone should make me cringe. But I absolutely love it. Sure, I’d like it more if the hem were an inch or two lower, but it looks expensive and glamorous and she is working the shit out of it. And since every single actor and actress of all time is in Valentine’s Day, it’s hard to stand out at such a star-studded premiere. But she did, thanks to Marchesa, and Annie’s makeup artist, who chose a lipstick that matches the red carpet. You deserve a raise.

Paparazzi

Lady Gaga in Marc Jacobs

This is absolutely my favorite paparazzi photo taken of any modern celebrity that I’ve ever seen. I think this douchebag cameraman caught a truly astounding moment. Gaga (in a gown Christina Ricci already wore), fixing her sheer white gown in the middle of a snowstorm, with her military hat, John Lennon glasses, black nail polish, and peace sign tattoo, is perfection. She’s such a fascinating combination of sweet and gritty, dark and light, and this picture captures that crazy Gaga essence perfectly.

The Samantha Award

Taylor Swift

I. Want. That. Dress. And her matching headband is precious.

Check back here later tonight for what you’re all really waiting for – the worst of the week in fashion!

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The Week in Fashion: Goth Gossip Girls and more!

Best of Paris Fashion Week, Take 2

 

If there is a such thing as being too cohesive, I think Armani Prive’s collection was exactly that. I don’t think Paris Fashion Week is the time to send nearly identical looks down the runway. The overall collection had a wide range, but so many of the outfits were barely distinguishable from one another. But my pulse still races when I see this dress. The model is working it, it’s incredibly beautiful, and even though it doesn’t look like Lady Gaga’s Grammys dress, it feels so similar, like they were both made out of the same recyclable materials to become something extravagant.

That’s a Costume, Not an Outfit

 

First of all, what I have told you about wearing several different shades of black? That’s an Intro to Fashion no-no. And high-waisted, pleated semi-jodhpurs with combat boots, a shirt that makes a size 2 girl look fat, and a black pirate shirt? She already looked like the saddest goth girl on the playground in 1997, and then she goes with heroin-chic eye makeup, ultra-pale skin, and red lipstick? Honey, you’re supposed to be the Queen of the Upper East Side. I understand that you are not Blair, but have some respect for the role that brought you into the spotlight, and make an effort to look attractive.

The Samantha Award

 

Another surprisingly fabulous look from another Olsen! This is exactly what I want to wander around the city wearing: super-expensive looking skinny jeans, boots, and an incredibly fabulous trench/peacoat hybrid. Keep it up, MK&A. I expect more non-homeless looks from you in the future!

Repeat Offender

 

It’s a puffy-sleeved sweatshirt with cutouts at the lovehandles and leather shoulder protectors. I can’t really say anything more horrible than that.

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Red Carpet Redux: The Grammys

Why Are You Here… And What Are You Wearing?

Snooki in a large purple headband

MTV has not been a music television channel for around a decade. Therefore, being the “star” of an MTV show should not grant you access to the Grammys. And anyone larger than Kate Moss should know better than to wear skin-tight horizontal stripes.

On the plus side, she’s not wearing a Bump-It. At least, not on her head.

Dressed to Win

Taylor Swift in Kaufmanfranco

The girl loves her sparkly gowns, but this is a much more mature look for her. The color and neckline are unusual and stunning. This is how a girl dresses when she knows she’s going to win. I would’ve liked her hair to be down, since her hair is insanely gorgeous, and that hairstyle does nothing for her. But kudos, because a pretty girl in a pretty dress is a good thing.

Why? Because She Can

Lady Gaga in custom-made Giorgio Armani Prive

And the back, for the full effect.

Lady Gaga once said that she dyed her hair blonde because she was concerned that if she stayed brunette, people would confuse her with Amy Winehouse. That was the first thing I thought when she stepped onto the red carpet last night – something about the big hair and retro makeup felt fabulously Amy (pre-substance abuse). Anyway, this outfit is terrifically tame as far as Gaga ensembles go. I actually love it, because it bears a semblance of a gown and a sculpture, instead of just pure insanity. It reminds us that fashion is art and art is fashion in a beautiful and modern way. I even sort of dig the bright yellow hair extensions, and I definitely love the little diamonds all over her body, a la Britney in Toxic.

The point is, if I were Gaga (and let’s be honest… I am), and I had the opportunity to dress in off-the-wall costumes designed just for me, I’d do it. She’s innovative and talented and fascinating, and I expect nothing less from such a person.

At Least She’s Alive

Britney Spears in Dolce & Gabbana

Yes, Britney is wearing a sheer piece of lace over a black leotard, which is generally unforgivable. But her hair and makeup actually look beautiful, and more importantly, she looks happy and healthy. Let’s be honest, that’s a rarity nowadays, and I’m just genuinely glad that this girl can make it out of the house with a smile on her face. After a nervous breakdown of that magnitude, under that amount of media attention and scrutiny, that’s all we can expect from Brit right now. Maybe in a few years, I’ll expect her to wear pants, but for now, I’m just happy she’s okay.

You Won’t Be Invited Back

Ke$ha. I hate typing her name.

At first glance, she’s just another idiot with over-processed hair and an ugly dress. But the close-up says it all. That makeup is what I look like the morning after the Rocky Horror cast party. Same for the hair, actually, but mine is one shade of brown instead of eight shades of blonde. And it doesn’t have feathers in it. Or are those earrings? Wait, is she seriously wearing a gold flapper dress? And does she really insist on having a dollar sign in her name? I give it another six months before we forget about her. Go have another cocktail, honey. Enjoy your fifteen minutes while you can.

Four in a Row!

Lea Michele in Romona Keveza

Well, she’s done it again. My little sweetheart/alter ego was probably the only person on the red carpet last night who looked beautiful, classy, and interesting. She looks thin as hell (but I hope she doesn’t lose another pound – she’s a stomach flu away from far too skinny), her legs look long (not an easy feat on a petite girl – can you believe she’s only 5’2″?), and the dress is not only adorable, but very different from the other three looks she nailed in the last month. I don’t have anything new to say about my favorite diva, but I hope she keeps it up.

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The Week in Fashion: Everything Except the Grammys

Best of Paris Fashion Week

Christian Dior Haute Couture Spring 2010

This week was an exciting one for fashion, as the haute couture collections were showed in Paris. Christian Dior’s collection had me absolutely floored. I thought every look was fascinating, and the photos from the show seem so editorial, as if they were at a photo shoot instead of on the runway, as drapery and flowers covered the background of the runway show. The above photo was my favorite, because it’s basically Princess Barbie’s wedding gown, but the dramatic styling and accessories were a unique complement to every look. Well done as usual, Miseur Dior.

Repeat Offender

One of my least favorite people, Katy Perry, wore two disturbingly ugly outfits this week, and for that, she gets this week’s Repeat Offender award.

Snooki from Jersey Shore called. She wants her tacky American Apparel dress back.

And the next time you wake up in Vegas, make sure you don’t have a drag queen Pocahontas impersonator in bed next to you. And if you do, don’t steal her dress. She’s suffered enough.

The Samantha Award

This award goes out to the person whose wardrobe looks the most like mine (if I had way more money to spend on clothes).

Michelle Williams at Sundance

A blazer, a 90s-style flowered dress, tights, boots, and unkempt hair? That’s basically my uniform. I’d have dressed up more for a Sundance film premiere, but this is something I’d wear every day of my life if I could.

You’re Not Lady Gaga

Rihanna in Viktor & Rolf

What I hate about Rihanna (besides the fact that she has no talent and yet is incredibly successful) is that she thinks she is far more beautiful than she actually is. She gets horrifically ugly haircuts and wears hideous makeup as if to say, Look how beautiful I am! I can wear this and still be beautiful! Except, she can’t. She looks like a lunatic, and she (like Jessica Biel and Sandra Bullock) looks so out of place in a couture gown because of how ungraceful she is. And now she thinks she can get away with something as out there as Viktor & Rolf? I’d just like to remind everyone out there who is not Lady Gaga: You are not Lady Gaga. You cannot carry these crazy outfits like the true zany artist that you are, because you are all full of shit and don’t know how to wear anything high fashion. Lady Gaga can pull off those crazy outfits not because she is the most beautiful woman alive, but because she’s legitimately batshit. If you are neither graceful and beautiful, nor a complete loon, don’t bother wearing these outfits. Thank you and good night.

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SAG Awards Red Carpet

Perfect Outfit for a Different Event

Anna Paquin in Alexander McQueen

Ms. Paquin looks absolutely gorgeous. She pulls off the wild print wonderfully, and it showcases her fabulous body without being over-the-top. The shoes are great, the hair is perfect, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look this beautiful. But this is a bit too casual for this event. Just because it’s not the Oscars doesn’t mean people won’t go super-formal, and when they do, it makes dresses like this stick out. She 100% nailed it, but she should have just worn it to the after-party.

Worst Dressed

Sandra Bullock in Alexander McQueen

Most people are raving about this dress, but I absolutely hate it. The top is tacky (it looks like she passed out under a Christmas tree), and the rest of the dress is boring. She nearly always looks awful, but that’s no reason to call this look a winner. It’s not.

Biggest Improvements

Diane Kruger in Jason Wu

An interesting color that pops against the red carpet. Hair, makeup, and jewelry are great. The fit is terrific. And to think, she wore this hot mess just a week ago.

Tina Fey in Salvatore Ferragamo

A good choice for Fey, who usually either looks boring in black or just plain bad, like she did in this dress at the Globes. A nice (albeit unoriginal) color, cute shoes, great hair, and a simple but slightly intriguing dress. Tina, give your team a bonus for bringing you off the Worst Dressed List.

Repeat Offender

Drew Barrymore in Monique Lhuillier

Dear Drew,

A dress should have one skirt, not two. You also need to look as if you actually slept in your own bed last night; brushing your hair helps. And don’t let your stylist edit the dress so that it basically bears no resemblance to the original. Great as she may be, she’s no Monique Lhuillier. She made a dress go from gorgeous to fug. Let the designers do their job, and then maybe your stylist can stick to the basics, like remembering that you need jewelry and lipstick on the red carpet.

Best Dressed

Lea Michele in Catherine Malandrino

You can’t even call me biased for choosing her again. She looks flawless. She looks better in it than the model, she was the only person on the red carpet wearing this amazing color, she looks more confident than ever, and this was the third awards show in a row at which she looked perfect (she dazzled in black last week, and looked just as fierce the week before. There are so few people who make me think, I can’t wait to see what she wears next, but she’s one of the few.

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The Week in Fashion: Mormons, Has-Beens, and Twins

This is the first of a new weekly series: A recap of the week in fashion (aside from big red carpet events, which are deserving of their own blog posts, of course). I’ll revive some categories week after week, but I’ll also throw in some new ones to keep y’all on your toes.

It Could Be Great, But…

Amanda Seyfried in Valentino at HBO's Golden Globes after-party

I see where this look is going, and I like the path that it’s on, but there is simply way too much happening. Here’s how I’d take this from over-the-top to perfection:

  • Those shoes would be nasty even with a simple dress, but they certainly don’t go with this ensemble. For something as complex as this outfit, stick to a basic shoe in black or ivory.
  • Keep the black lace draping and the invisible left shoulder. They’re brilliantly done, as is the old Hollywood hair and makeup.
  • Nix one of the two fabrics below the lace part. Using both looks indecisive and overwhelming.
  • The visible lines beneath the lace are interesting, if slightly off-putting. I’d keep just the vertical lines, to make her look slimmer and make the dress more wearable.

Sad Girls in Sad Outfits

Jessica Simpson at the LA premiere of Extraordinary Measures on Jan. 19

Guys, Jessica Simpson is having a rough time. She can’t hold on to a man, she can’t dress, her father makes awkward comments about her boobs, she’s untalented, and people keep ragging on her for her weight. So think of this not as a criticism, but as one girl trying to help another. God knows she needs it.

Hair and makeup actually look fantastic. Since the Tony Romo break-up, she’s been sort of wandering around LA with her hair a wreck, her roots showing, and her face swollen and puffy, like she was barely able to get off the couch and put down the pint of Ben & Jerry’s to come to that event. This is a huge turnaround for her. I mean, she still has that sadness in her eyes, but from the neck up, she looks more beautiful than she has in years.

But who are her People? You know, stylists, gay best friends, assistants, and whoever else is responsible for getting her dressed and out the door. Why did they allow this? Not that I object to all-black ensembles, but wearing three different shades of black (four, if you count the visible bra) is just unacceptable. This is one of those times when I want to remind everyone that when the cameras flash, your clothes don’t look the same as they do in your closet or when you walk out the door. And if you are hired to be on Team Jessica, it’s your job to know that, and plan accordingly.

That’s a Costume, Not a Dress

Keri Russell in Alexander McQueen at the LA premiere of Extraordinary Measures

Dear Felicity: You’re irrelevant, your shoes are ugly, and you look like you’re wearing the top half of a poorly made nun’s habit. Oh, and you have a pedosmile.

Frocks of the First Lady

Michelle Obama at the Red Cross Disaster Operations Center on Jan. 18

We’re going to wander weekly through this woman’s wardrobe, not just because she’s beautiful and fabulous, but because it’s super-easy, since she’s always out doing something, wearing something, and being photographed. Let me say first that the new bob does wonders for her. It flatters her face and makes everything she wears look more stylish. And this outfit represents everything a First Lady should: Grace, elegance, simplicity, and class. Good color, good fit, interesting and understated. Nice work, Mrs. Obama.

Best of the Week

Ashley Olsen in Erdem at the WB/InStyle Golden Globes after-party

I still can’t believe how much I love this, since I hate almost everything the Olsen twins wear. I get that boho chic is a trend some people dig, but I don’t think you always need to look like a homeless person. And it looks like Ashley finally agreed with me, when she went out in this uncharacteristically adorable dress.

I think the matchy-matchy shoes are a bit too bridesmaid, but from the ankles up, this is a perfect look. Most of the time, when the Olsens shy away from their usual garbage bag looks, they wear something insane and couture that ages them ten or fifteen years. But this dress is very youthful without sacrificing design. The color pops, and the dress has a lot of unique elements that don’t compete with each other. The bubbly skirt, the cascade of flowers, the to-the-elbow sleeves – they come off fun and kitschy instead of weird. I like the casual hair, because the color looks so great against that blue dress that it honestly doesn’t matter if she brushes it or not. And she looks shockingly fresh-faced, happy, and normal. Keep them coming, Ashley. I’d love to have more good things to say about you in the future.

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Golden Globes Red Carpet, Part Two

Repeat Offenders

Fergie in Elie Saab

This could also go in the God-Awful Colors category, especially against her orange skin. But look, it’s long and Grecian with a train and a sparkly belt! Oh, wait, that’s exactly what she wore at the NYC premiere of Nine! And what Hayden Panettiere wore to the Golden Globes three years ago! And what Jennifer Lopez wore to her birthday party! And, you know, what everybody wears to every red carpet event! If you’re going to pick a boring, redundant dress in an ugly color, just do us all a favor and stay home.

Drew Barrymore in Atelier Versace

First of all, doesn’t it look like she spilled just a bit of champagne on her left breast? If you’re going to drink en route to the red carpet, wear a bib. Also, aside from the fact that basically everyone wore flesh tones (Emily Blunt, Nicole Kidman, Toni Colette, etc.), Drew’s worn this exact color before, and worn it much better. Remember this dress, one of my favorites of 2009? I loved that unique, pink/gold/mauve color. Until she wore the same exact color last night. I’m instituting a new fashion rule: If you wore it to the premiere, you can’t wear it to an awards show where you’re nominated for that same piece of work.

New Moms and Old Broads

Helen Mirren in vintage Armani

Amy Adams in Carolina Herrera

Meryl Streep in Chris March

Mirren brought her A-game in something tight, low-cut, and glitzy – all big risks for an AARP member. And she nailed the look without pulling a Madonna (trying to look half her age). Adams is 35 and pregnant and has never looked better. I generally resent the matchy-matchy accessories trend, but the color of those shoes and purse is so unique and beautiful that I’ll forgive it. And Meryl Streep’s dress is a tad boring, but she’s posing the shit out of it, and it makes her look younger than ever.

Worst Dressed

Heidi Klum in Roberto Cavalli

I’ve already complained excessively about my hatred for mermaid/fishtail gowns, and how people’s calves really do not need that much more room than the rest of their bodies, so let’s move onto the color. People.com calls it light gray, but it’s lavender. It’s lavender, poofy, shiny, and those sleeves are borderline puffy. The only good thing about this photo is Heidi’s truly incredible smile. Then again, if I were a German supermodel with a hit TV show and an adorable family, I’d look happy no matter what I wore, too.

Best Dressed

Lea Michele in Oscar de la Renta

Okay, I know none of you are surprised I chose her for the best dressed. But putting my obvious bias in her favor aside, she looks flawless. Most red carpet newcomers look uncomfortable and awkward (as do some oldcomers – that’s right, Sandra Bullock and Jessica Biel, I’m talking to you) on the red carpet or in couture gowns. It takes a certain kind of person and a certain amount of practice to wear a gown this fierce, and Miss New Diva on the Block is wearing it. The jewelry, hair, and make-up are all flawless, and she looks the way we all should at the awards show for our first big nomination (not to discount her Drama Desk nomination, but most people do) – a tiny bit nervous, but with excitement in the eyes and a hint of a smirk. It’s like she’s saying to the girls who teased her in middle school, I don’t know if I’ll win, but at least I’m here, bitches.

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Golden Globes Red Carpet, Part One

I didn’t even bother to watch the awards show. I really only care about the fashion.

The Worst Color Choices

Diane Kruger in Christian Lacroix

Leona Lewis in Roberto Cavalli

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman wear either of those colors after her eighth birthday. Unless, of course, she is the headliner in an 1980s drag queen prom show, or moonlighting as the Easter bunny. Kruger’s pink gown is a nightmare, from the color to the sleeves to the bow, and her dead-on-the-inside expression doesn’t do much for me. Lewis chose a particularly tacky shade of purple, made even trashier by her Jersey Shore tan and black roots. Oh, and use a fucking steamer, for crying out loud. This photo cuts out the worst of the damage, but Lewis looks like she picked this up off a hotel room floor the morning after a bad decision.

My Golden Globes Dream Date

Matthew Morrison in Dolce & Gabbana

He. Is. Perfection.

When Did She Get So Old?

Cameron Diaz in Alexander McQueen

Heather Graham in Elie Saab

Isn’t there something just plain off about both these ladies’ once-beautiful faces? Close-ups of Cameron’s face showed her looking distinctly Madonna-esque. Heather looks like she hasn’t slept in days. Both women look like there’s a very unpleasant smell right under their noses. And this photo doesn’t show it, but Heather is wearing her hair in a ponytail. On the red carpet. Cameron looks like she did something equally lazy to her hair. Get your shit together, ladies. You’re hot, rich, and thin, but you need more than just a dress to look like a star on the red carpet.

Check back later for more! You’ll see my favorite and least favorite looks of the night, plus more character assassinations!

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People’s Choice Awards Red Carpet

I always care about the red carpet more than the awards, and let’s face it, the People’s Choice Awards are just an excuse for Hollywood to blow smoke up its own ass. So let’s start judging.

Most Overdressed

Mariah Carey in Ysa Makino

My problem with Mariah, besides the fact that I truly believe her to be one of the most boring people alive, is that she is never appropriately dressed for anything. Granted, it is difficult to be appropriately dressed for any event when most of your wardrobe looks like it was stolen from an urban tween in 1999, but I digress.

Let’s put aside the fact that this dress does not do her figure any favors, and just ask: Why, Mariah, did you think that the People’s Choice Awards was the right event for you to wear a cheap-looking wedding gown to? I mean, I don’t think tacky wedding gowns are appropriate for almost any red carpet event, but it’s particularly over-the-top for a bullshit event like this. 

Newest Fashionista

Lea Michele in Nuj Novakhett

Welcome to the neighborhood, Ms. New Diva on the Block! The dress is cute, age- and event-appropriate, and flattering. The bust could be fitted a bit better, and something about her pose inexplicably irks me just a touch, but this is a great start for Lea. I think my slight discomfort is just that I’ve rarely seen her in a red carpet scenario, and I’m not used to her dolled-up look. But that will fade shortly, as Glee continues to take over the universe.

The hair and makeup are flawless. And I think it’s refreshing to see a hot young starlet in something that’s not a) black, b) slutty, or c), glittery. Not to mention, the shoes are fierce as hell (they’re Louboutins, of course).

Most Difficult to Recognize

Demi Lovato in Jenny Packham

I try not to follow teen Disney stars too closely, less I get attached to them and then Disney decides to ditch them as soon as they grow pubes, or a mind of their own (whichever comes first). But I’m also able to recognize most of them pretty well, as I read fashion blogs and trashy magazines (uh, you know, when I’m waiting for my copy of The Nation to arrive).

It took me a good ten glances at this photo to figure out who the hell this was. Not to say her face doesn’t look beautiful, because I actually think this is one of the better photos of her occasionally awkward features.  It’s just all very severe, no? The jet black hair, that looks like it’s been overteased/semi-dredlocked/made out of horse hair. The eyebrows that look painted on.  I can handle black nail polish on the red carpet, but black on the toe nails? Honey, it just looks like an uncomfortable fungus.

I think what makes me most uncomfortable is the opulent bling that points straight into the excessive cleavage. That’s quite a lot of titty for a seventeen-year-old. Especially because she and BFFAEAE Selena Gomez present themselves as the nice-girl alternatives to the Miley Cyruses of the world. I shouldn’t judge Lovato more harshly because of her nice-girl image, but honey, you’re 17. Save looking 25 for when you’re 30, and dress your age.

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