The Week in Fashion: Everything Except the Grammys

Best of Paris Fashion Week

Christian Dior Haute Couture Spring 2010

This week was an exciting one for fashion, as the haute couture collections were showed in Paris. Christian Dior’s collection had me absolutely floored. I thought every look was fascinating, and the photos from the show seem so editorial, as if they were at a photo shoot instead of on the runway, as drapery and flowers covered the background of the runway show. The above photo was my favorite, because it’s basically Princess Barbie’s wedding gown, but the dramatic styling and accessories were a unique complement to every look. Well done as usual, Miseur Dior.

Repeat Offender

One of my least favorite people, Katy Perry, wore two disturbingly ugly outfits this week, and for that, she gets this week’s Repeat Offender award.

Snooki from Jersey Shore called. She wants her tacky American Apparel dress back.

And the next time you wake up in Vegas, make sure you don’t have a drag queen Pocahontas impersonator in bed next to you. And if you do, don’t steal her dress. She’s suffered enough.

The Samantha Award

This award goes out to the person whose wardrobe looks the most like mine (if I had way more money to spend on clothes).

Michelle Williams at Sundance

A blazer, a 90s-style flowered dress, tights, boots, and unkempt hair? That’s basically my uniform. I’d have dressed up more for a Sundance film premiere, but this is something I’d wear every day of my life if I could.

You’re Not Lady Gaga

Rihanna in Viktor & Rolf

What I hate about Rihanna (besides the fact that she has no talent and yet is incredibly successful) is that she thinks she is far more beautiful than she actually is. She gets horrifically ugly haircuts and wears hideous makeup as if to say, Look how beautiful I am! I can wear this and still be beautiful! Except, she can’t. She looks like a lunatic, and she (like Jessica Biel and Sandra Bullock) looks so out of place in a couture gown because of how ungraceful she is. And now she thinks she can get away with something as out there as Viktor & Rolf? I’d just like to remind everyone out there who is not Lady Gaga: You are not Lady Gaga. You cannot carry these crazy outfits like the true zany artist that you are, because you are all full of shit and don’t know how to wear anything high fashion. Lady Gaga can pull off those crazy outfits not because she is the most beautiful woman alive, but because she’s legitimately batshit. If you are neither graceful and beautiful, nor a complete loon, don’t bother wearing these outfits. Thank you and good night.

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