Please, no loud noises or sudden movements. These stars have all suffered head injuries that caused them to believe they are attending the Oscars. They think they look amazing – and they would, on any other red carpet. But friends, the Met Gala is not the goddamn Oscars. (Though this year’s theme was a little more traditional-red-carpet friendly than previous years, I still can’t bring myself to put anyone in the Best Dressed post who didn’t really commit to the costume.)
Let’s finish this damn thing.
The Oscars have come and gone, but our judgment is forever.
Your favorite segment is back and better than ever.
Pour yourself another cup of coffee and let’s finish this red carpet..
Pack your couture and some sunscreen, darlings, and let’s go to Cannes.
Welcome to the opening ceremonies of Cannes 2017, judgmental assholes!
Time is of the essence, divas. Let’s do the Grammys quick and dirty..
And we’re back.