Red Carpet Predictions: Spring 2011

Get ready, dear readers, because it’s time to play stylist to the stars! I’m taking the most glitzy-glamorous, red carpet-worthy gowns from ALL the Spring 2011 runway collections – NEW YORK to LONDON to MILAN to PARIS – and I’ll be deciding which of your favorite celebs will be wearing them out on the town. Let’s have some fun!

ANGELINA JOLIE will wear…

Oscar de la Renta Spring 2011

ANNA KENDRICK will wear…

Commuun Spring 2011

ANNE HATHAWAY will wear…

Elie Saab Spring 2011

BLAKE LIVELY will wear…

Monique Lhuillier Spring 2011

CAREY MULLIGAN will wear…

Carmen Marc Valvo Spring 2011

CHLOE SEVIGNY will wear…

Viktor & Rolf Spring 2011

CHRISTINA HENDRICKS will wear…

Christian Siriano Spring 2011

DAKOTA FANNING will wear…

Julien MacDonald Spring 2011

DIANE KRUGER will wear…

Wes Gordon Spring 2011

ELIZABETH BANKS will wear…

Elie Saab Spring 2011

EMMA WATSON will wear…

Versace Spring 2011

FREIDA PINTO will wear…

Gucci Spring 2011

HEIDI KLUM will wear…

Dolce & Gabbana Spring 2011

JANUARY JONES will wear…

Valetin Yudashkin Spring 2011

JENNIFER ANISTON will wear…

A. F. Vandevorst Spring 2011

JESSICA BIEL will wear…

Emanuel Ungaro Spring 2011

KATY PERRY will wear…

Manish Arora Spring 2011

KIM KARDASHIAN will wear…

Gianfranco Ferré Spring 2011

KRISTEN STEWART will wear…

Matthew Williamson Spring 2011

KRISTIN CHENOWETH will wear…

Collette Dinnigan Spring 2011

LADY GAGA will wear…

Manish Arora Spring 2011

and GAGA will wear…

Maison Martin Margiela Spring 2011

and of course, GAGA will wear…

Viktor & Rolf Spring 2011

Vikto & Rolf Spring 2011

LEA MICHELE will wear…

Monique Lhuillier Spring 2011

LEIGHTON MEESTER will wear…

Chapurin Spring 2011

MADONNA will wear…

Oscar de la Renta Spring 2011

MARION COTILLARD will wear…

Carlos Miele Spring 2011

MICHELLE WILLIAMS will wear…

Alexis Mabille Spring 2011

MILEY CYRUS will wear…

Vivienne Westwood Spring 2011

RACHEL BILSON will wear…

Cacharel Spring 2011

RIHANNA will wear…

Gareth Pugh Spring 2011

SARAH JESSICA PARKER will wear…

Jason Wu Spring 2011

SCARLETT JOHANSSON will wear…

Chloé Spring 2011

SELENA GOMEZ will wear…

Victoria Beckham Spring 2011

TAYLOR MOMSEN will wear…

Chanel Spring 2011

TAYLOR SWIFT will wear…

Tibi Spring 2011

ZOE SALDANA will wear…

Oscar de la Renta Spring 2011

And with that, your Spring 2011 posts are complete!

The Weekly Fashion Recap

Fabulous FLOTUS

First Lady Michelle Obama in Jason Wu Resort 2009

Classic Americana worn by classy Americans. MObama looks gorgeous in blue Jason Wu. The bows around her waist are cute, and I love the way the dress accentuates her fabulous figure, as if to say I’ve got hips and I love it! Those famous arms (Tom & Lorenzo hilariously referred to them as the “First Guns”) are looking toned as ever, and of course the chunky bracelets are super-trendy. I could do without the shoes, but at least they show that she’s making the effort to have fun with her wardrobe, and isn’t that the point of fashion?

Also, can I just say that I love how often the Obamas are photographed holding hands? As a child raised in the Clinton years, it’s so refreshing to see a First Couple that’s actually in love.

Another Disaster from Rihanna

Are dresses that require a generator becoming a trend? Because I refuse to get behind that. First it was Katy Perry at the Met Gala, now it’s Rihanna. All my least favorite celebrities are donning light-up costumes – next thing you know, Kristen Stewart will mope around the red carpet in a light bulb dress with her hair looking like shit. I’m not sure what concerns me more – the light-up dress, or the fact that her hair color is brighter than the light bulbs. Ladies, reduce your carbon footprint and your fashion faux pas, and nix the light-up dresses, please.

Floral and Fierce

This Diva is fully obsessed with this dress. The sleeve hitting right above the elbow is super-trendy right now, and it always looks great. I love the print and the shape, and that little rainbow belt is just the perfect touch of whimsy (plus it accentuates her teensy little waist). Also, was this photo taken through a time machine? Because SJP is looking suspiciously fresh-faced and beautiful. Keep it up, girl.

The Best and Worst of Lady Gaga

 

Nope. Words can’t do this one justice. All I can say is Where the Wild Things Are meets car wash meets Cousin It.

Lady Gaga at Lollapalooza

This, on the other hand, is why I love Gaga. The crazy wild hair, the signature sunglasses (a Lady never shows her eyes, I suppose), and a purple, seemingly plastic leopard print leotard! It’s weird, sure, but it’s fabulous and fashion-forward. And I’m a huge supporter of nude fishnets to add subtle sex to any outfit. This is a fabulous reminder that though sometimes Gaga’s performance art goes totally off the wall, she’s capable of bringing crazy fashion to a more accessible place.

How to Travel in Style

It helps to be the most beautiful woman alive, but Freida Pinto nails some essential fashion tricks: mixing black, brown, and blue; and looking chic while traveling comfortably. Let’s start with how insanely beautiful she looks even though she hardly looks like she’s wearing makeup. This woman is a goddess. And she’s a master at airport chic – a comfortable yet chic tank and sweater, a loose but fashionable skirt, tights to stay warm on the plane, and flats that are easily removable at security or while napping in first class. Her suitcase is beyond gorgeous, and I love the smoky greyish blue color of that skirt. Effortless and travel-friendly, but still beyond fabulous.

Haute Hermione

Emma Watson in Alice by Temperley

By now we all know that Emma Watson (better known as Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter films) has cut her hair and looks incredible. She’s rocking the pixie cut harder than anyone since Mia Farrow, and after ten years of being our favorite bushy-haired, brilliant witch, she deserves the freedom to cut it all off and do something new. She’s certainly got the perfect facial features to pull it off, and she looks so much older and more sophisticated, but still youthful and modern. And although this may actually be a romper, she looks fierce as hell promoting Deathly Hallows in this long-sleeved lace ensemble.

My only concern with her haircut is that this kind of cut tends to look very awkward in the growing-out stage. And since Part 1 of Deathly Hallows will hit theaters in November (::squeals with excitement::), Ms. Watson will have an ass-load of red carpets to hit, first to promote the film, and then the premieres in LA, New York, London, and every other city on earth. So I’m just hoping her events planner and her hair stylist sit down together and ensure that this fabulous bitch’s hair will look fierce all over the world this fall.

The Material Girl

 

Madonna celebrated her 52nd birthday the way all of us should – by looking half her age. I think Madonna has never looked better. The hair is curly, wild, and fabulous (though I’d touch up the roots), and the makeup/Botox/face lifts are really working, because her skin looks flawless. The dress is simultaneously mega-hot and totally classy, which is a difficult line to walk. Again, the sleeve hitting right above the elbow is totally adorable (and it covers up her crazy arms). Her figure is as petite and perfect as ever, she’s rocking fishnets and a badass fishnetty glove, and she’s still rocking a cross like it’s 1986. I don’t know if she sold her soul to the devil for a fountain of youth or just has the best plastic surgeon on the planet, but whatever her secret is, I want it.

Worst of the Week: Paris Does Marilyn

Where do I start? How about the bandage dress, which is designed to suck in every part of your body, but somehow makes Paris look like she’s in her second trimester. And the clown makeup? Paris may be a sex icon, but she does not have a beautiful face. Her squinty-eyed, long-nosed face just can’t handle makeup like this (actually, I’m not sure anyone’s face can). Her fake tan is disturbingly orange, she’s wearing a fur coat in AUGUST, and why is she playing dress-up to the launch of her perfume? Is she that desperate for attention? (Well, duh. She’s Paris Hilton.) Also, can we talk about the fact that her perfume is called ‘Tease’? Paris, darling, you’re not a tease. You are the star of one of the world’s most infamous celebrity sex tapes. You’re easy like Sunday morning. You don’t entice men and then leave them wanting more – honey, you give it all away! Perhaps your fragrance should be called “filthy tramp” instead, just for the sake of accuracy.

Best of the Week

WOW. Dianna Agron (better known to Glee fans as pregnant ex-Cheerio Quinn Fabray) has always been beautiful, but she’s never really popped on the red carpet until now. This dress is original, whimsical, and innovative – not to mention it fits her like a dream. It’s not what the average twenty-something starlet wears, and that’s what makes it look so damn good. The shoes are Manolo Blahniks, and they are beautiful. And even though she might be rocking a Bump-It, I think she looks absolutely flawless.

Best/Worst of 2009: On the Red Carpet

Best of the Divas

It may be a cop-out, but I had to go with a three-way tie for this one. These three women had fantastic years for their careers, were all nominated for major awards, and all knocked their red carpet looks out of the fucking park. More than just being beautiful at first glance, all of these dresses were incredibly memorable for me.

Anne Hathaway at the Oscars

I loved this the moment she stepped onto the red carpet. She brings such elegance to everything she wears, and this Armani Prive gown was stunning to begin with. The impeccable styling and perfect fit add to Annie’s fabulous and classy runway persona. And the cherry on top is that she looks even better in it than the fucking runway model, even though she’s curvy and not model-thin. That is why Anne is a goddess.

Drew Barrymore at the Grey Gardens premiere

Drew went mega-period piece in this ensemble, and yet it looks event-appropriate instead of costumey. I usually loathe gowns that match the woman’s skin color too closely, but this nude Alberta Ferretti design is breathtaking. The make-up, hair, and accessories are perfect complements, and Drew’s old Hollywood glamour shines bright at the premiere of her crowning achievement in 2009.

Kate Winslet at the SAG Awards

If you lived in Ivory Tower 412 in spring of 2009, you would know that Kate Winslet was our queen. It seemed as though she was winning every award, looking fabulous all over the place, and making us weep with every acceptance speech she gave. She has an uncanny ability to speak in an incredibly humble and thankful way, while dressing like she knows she’s going to win. This Narciso Rodriguez gown is what the red carpet is all about. Flaunting the curves without being slutty, a color that pops, a perfect cut, and a few stunning accessories. This is the dictionary definition of what a winner should wear, and Kate just glows in it.

Worst Singer-Actress Hybrids

Let’s stick with our three-way tie theme, and begin with two hilariously memorable outfits from the same event, by the same designer.

Leighton Meester at the MET Gala

There’s nothing I can say about this except, WHY? The hair is awful, the make-up is clownlike, and the Louis Vuitton costume is beyond insane. To top it all off, her awkward stance and pedosmile make her seem legitimately insane.

Madonna at the MET Gala

Madonna. You’re 51 years old. The dress? Awful. The gloves and peekaboo bra? Seems like you’re trying to relive your youth. The boots? Far too trashy for that event, regardless of your age. The headpiece? I have no words.

Beyonce at the Oscars

I can’t find the name of the designer for this one, which means it was probably designed by Beyonce’s mother, the creator of all her most trashtastic outfits. This is a nightmare. The print is completely out of style, the dress is at least one size too small, and I LOATHE MERMAID GOWNS WITH ALL OF MY SOUL. Why do your calves need so much more room than the rest of your body? Oh, right. They don’t. So STOP IT. The fabric looks cheap and tacky, especially at the bottom. And it does not flatter her curves at all. She just looks like a large, uncomfortable couch. Beyonce, I deplore you: Find new gays, because the ones styling you now clearly hate you.

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