The Month in Celebrity Fashion: Part II

Because you can’t get enough celebrity fashion – enjoy Part II of The Month in Celebrity Fashion!

Lady Gaga in a chastity belt

Lady Gaga once had an excellently absurd quote that she was afraid to have sex with men because she feared her creativity would escape out of her vagina. Well, Gaga, I guess you’ve solved that problem!

President Obama with First Lady Michelle Obama in Naeem Khan at the Kennedy Center Honors in Washington, DC

Whoa, MObama! This is the best the First Lady has looked in quite awhile. I absolutely love this gown and I think it was the perfect choice for the always fabulous Michelle Obama. They really do make a beautiful couple.

Prince William with Kate Middleton in Reiss

Speaking of beautiful couples, here’s the official engagement photos of Prince Will and No-Longer-Waity Katie. I’m still drooling over the fact that this girl gets to wear Princess Di’s ring. She’s absolutely stunning, and looks like the pretty princess she soon will be in this inexpensive white Issa dress.

Olivia Wilde in Emilio Pucci at the Hollywood premiere of TRON: Legacy

Kristen Bell at the London premiere of Burlesque

Who wears a lab coat to the Burlesque premiere? Unless this is an homage to Brad and Janet’s lab coats in Rocky Horror, this is unacceptable to wear to such a dragtastic movie premiere. Cher’s 60 years old and still wore nothing (see below). Kristen, live a little. Wear a corset.

Gwen Stefani in Prada at the Kennedy Center Honors in Washington, DC

Like Christina Aguilera, Gwen Stefani seems to turn into a drag version of herself as she ages. This look is a little much, even for Gwen. She looks like a coked-out Disney princess.

Julie Bowen at the final broadcast of Larry King Live

Claire Dunphy is totally smokin’. It’s easy to forget this when she often shares the screen with Sofia Vergara’s breasts, but Julie Bowen is a total goddess. I’m not sure why there was a red carpet for the final broadcast of Larry King Live, but she’s nailing it.

Krysten Ritter in Alberta Ferreti at the Hollywood Style Awards

Remember this girl? She’s kind of in nothing and everything. You might recognize her from Gilmore Girls, Gap ads, random rom-coms, and the like. But I always thought she looks like Anne Hathaway’s less-beautiful sister, which I sort of dug. Anyway, this actually looks really beautiful on her porcelain skin. I actually think I own a Forever 21 dress with a knockoff of this print on it. Anyway, she may be a Z list celebrity, but if she keeps dressing like this, I think I could accept her actually becoming a person.

Emma Stone in a Roksanda Ilincic dress and Brian Atwood pumps at a Trevor Project event in Hollywood

Emma Stone is blonde, and I’m not happy. I know it’s for a role, but when fellow firecrotch Lindsay Lohan went blonde, she looked like shit and proved definitively that other than Nicole Kidman, natural redheads should not go blonde. Now Emma Stone just looks like a much healthier version of LiLo. Anyway, the dress is sort of cute. A little craftsy, Tim Gunn might say it looks like student work, but she’s working it.

Darren Criss at a Trevor Project event in Hollywood

When are they making him a full-time Glee cast member? This kid is unstoppably adorable.

And in case that photo isn’t gay enough for you…

Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Neil Patrick Harris, and Darren Criss at a Trevor Project event

The three cutest gays on television, promoting a great cause. What could be better?

Anna Kendrick in Zuhair Murad at a Trevor Project event in Hollywood

Anna Kendrick loves her skin-tone dresses, and I’m sick of it. I’m not loving the way the strap forms a sort of sling around her boob. This is just so pale and washed-out. Bring a little joy into the wardrobe, Anna.

Christina Ricci in Zac Posen at the New York Stage & Film gala

For me, this is the glammed-up version of Anna Kendrick’s dress. Same concept, with the cream color fading into grey, and it even keeps that sling-over-the-boobs idea, but this is so much more stylish. The black really adds some volume to the dress, and Christina’s hair and makeup have never looked better. Loving the glamorous bracelet and earrings, too.

Victoria Beckham in her own design at the British Fashion Awards

Oh, good lord. I still don’t understand why people think she a) looks good in clothes or b) makes clothes that look good. This photo is proof that neither is true. I worry that her skin is just going to melt off her face (if she doesn’t die from starvation first).

Fergie in Jimmy Choo shoes in London

I want to make a furry/Fergie pun, but they all sound awful, so I’ll spare you. Ferg, nix the spray tan and the green hairy coat. Your feet shouldn’t be a different color than your legs, and your coat shouldn’t be the same color as split pea soup.

Rachel Bilson in Christian Dior at the Spike TV Video Game Awards

This is why Rachel Bilson is my girl. She can take a little prairie dress and make it look trendy yet effortless. Do I spot little bows on the ankles of those shoes? If so, I WANT. And I’m glad the styling is minimal – nobody wants to look too dressed up for the Spike TV Video Game Awards.

Cher in Julien MacDonald at the London premiere of Burlesque

All hail Cher, who can do whatever the fuck she wants, because she’s Cher. She looks like Florence Welch’s slutty, dramatic mother. She also looks phenomenal for her age.

Cher in Julien MacDonald at the London premiere of Burlesque

Because who says you can’t wear a 100% see-through dress at 60?

Taylor Swift in Jenny Packham at the CMT Artists of the Year awards

I love Taylor Swift’s hair. It’s always been beautiful, but those very long blonde curls she rocked were very girly and immature. Now the hair is darker and redder and T-Swift is playing with fun lengths and styles, and she’s never looked better. Still gorgeous, but a more mature gorgeous.

Jessica Simpson in Mondo Guerra

A big “fuck you” to the Project Runway judges, because we’re all still in denial that Mondo lost to Gretchen. Jessica’s t-shirt is straight out of Mondo’s finale collection, and she’s rocking it with her shrunken blazer, giant purse, jeans, and boots. Perfect starlet-in-the-airport style, and the best this girl has looked in years.

Christina Hendricks in CH Carolina Herrera

The fabric is gorgeous, but could there be a less flattering silhouette? Joan looks downright dumpy, when she’s actually a fox. Just another case of a designer who can’t make clothes for real women.

Elisabeth Moss in Bibhu Mohapatra at the International Emmy Awards in New York

Okay, Peggy, I get that you’re recently divorced and discovering how totally cute you are now that the Mad Men team has finally started letting you look attractive. But that’s no excuse for those hair extensions. Those need to go immediately. The dress is nice, but it’s another case of a pale girl getting washed out by her pale dress. I love the lace on the shoulder, though.

January Jones at Donatella Versace's Fashion Fund launch

Betty Draper, eat a sandwich.

Ashley Olsen in a Balenciaga sweater at Google's boutiques.com launch party in New York

I’m obsessed. Great colors, perfect fall-winter transition, simple and lovely hair and makeup. Not a fan of the shoes, but I’d love to curl up in that fabulous peach sweater.

Chloe Sevigny at the New York premiere of Somewhere

Say what you will about Nikki Grant, but at least the girl wears pants. Seriously, Chloe, I love shirts as dresses as much as the next girl, but this is dumb. And you’re ruining a totally cute shirt.

Joel Madden with Nicole Richie in Marchesa

Apparently Joel Madden and Nicole Richie weren’t married already, which I totally did not know. And apparently they did get married, or have one of their wedding ceremonies, or something like that. Anyway, this is one of her wedding dresses, and I think it’s phenomenal. I’m so glad it’s not a saggy-silky flapper dress like she and Rachel Zoe tend to wear. I love the long-sleeved lace, how tight it is on her teeny little frame, and the giant skirt that only works on a woman as skinny as a model. It’s a truly fabulous dress.

© Democracy Diva, 2010.

The Week in Celebrity Fashion: Harry Potter Edition!

Okay, other things are happening on the red carpet besides the Harry Potter premiere, and we’ll get to that, but let’s start with our favorite wizard superstars! (Worry not, Muggles, we’ve got non-magical celebs in this post too.)

Emma Watson in Rafael Lopez at the world premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I in London

The big winner this week is obviously Ms. Hermione Granger herself, who is pulling out all the stops for all the Harry Potter promotional events and premieres. I knew she’d give us something fierce and fabulous, but this bitch looks HOT. I love the sexy little modern flapper dress; it works wonders with her fabulous new pixie cut. And, I know he’s not the foreground in this picture, but can we just talk about how sexy Ron Weasley looks in the poster behind her? Seriously yummy.

Helena Bonham Carter (Bellatrix Lestrange) at the Harry Potter world premiere

As friends of this Diva are well aware, I will be donning my best Bellatrix Lestrange gear when I see the movie next week. But I’m thinking I’d rather just wear this crazy get-up and go as Helena Bonham Carter, who is nearly as fucking nuts as the she-villain she plays. Although, for Ms. Carter, this is downright normal.

Also, I want to meet the people in the Death Eater masks standing behind her. I know they’re fans, but I’m going to pretend that they’re her bodyguards, ready to Crucio the shit out of whoever gets in her way.

Clemence Poesy (Fleur Delacour) at the Harry Potter world premiere

Gorgeous, but seriously matronly. I know Fleur’s getting married in this film, but she’s still playing someone who’s approximately twenty years old. She could go a little more youthful, no?

Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) at the Harry Potter world premiere

Hello, Draco! You can take me over to the Dark side any time, as long as you keep wearing such fabulous suits. Matching your tie to your baby blue eyes was a stroke of pure genius, almost as brilliant as fixing that Vanishing Cabinet in the Room of Requirement so you could sneak the Death Eaters into Hogwarts. (Seriously, it was a good plan.)

James and Oliver Phelps (Fred and George Weasley) at the Harry Potter world premiere

I love American boys as much as the next girl, but goddamit, nobody can wear a suit like British boys. Here are the Weasley twins, barely recognizable without their red hair, rocking some serious digs. I love that these men and Mr. Malfoy are not afraid to incorporate color, texture, and a sexy vest into their attire.

Matthew Lewis (Neville Longbottom) at the Harry Potter world premiere

I just needed to point out to the world that THIS IS WHAT NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM LOOKS LIKE NOW. Holy shit, that boy has grown up deliciously well. I’d let him use his Gryffindor sword on my Horcrux any day, if you know what I mean.

Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, J.K. Rowling and Rupert Grint at the Harry Potter world premiere

Do you think J.K. Rowling and Emma Watson intentionally coordinated their outfits? I hope so. I can’t remember Queen Rowling ever looking so beautiful. And the boys look handsome as ever, but I don’t think they look quite as dapper as Draco and the Weasleys. (That’d be a good band name, no?)

Okay, enough wizardry. Who else strutted the red carpet this week?

Carrie Underwood in Talbot Runhof at the CMAs

I know that I should hate this, and in a normal context I probably would, but my fashion expectations for the CMAs are considerably lower than for most red carpet events. So I’m going to give Carrie a pat on the back for attempting something that’s not white, Grecian, or sparkly. At least she gave us a little intrigue.

Lea Michele at TV Guide’s 2010 Hot List party in Hollywood

Cute dress, but not earth-shattering. It’s refreshing to see her fully clothed and not fellating a lollipop, though.

Miley Cyrus in D&G at the MTV Europe Music Awards

Maybe this saloon whore gown would have been appropriate for the CMAs, but I don’t think Europe is quite ready for this level of American trash.

Blake Lively at the Realm Boutique opening in New York

Dear Blake:

That’s not how belts work.

Love,

The Democracy Diva

P.S. If I can see your shirt peeking out under your skirt, you need to rethink your outfit.

Lauren Conrad in Christian Louboutin sandals

Delicious. Perfect starlet street wear. Easy-going, breezy-chic dress, great accessories, a gorgeous smile, and killer shoes.

Dakota Fanning in Valentino haute couture at the BAFTA Britannia Awards

Oy. Dakota can usually be counted on for something tiny, shiny, lacy, and fierce, but this is a colorless, shapeless mess. She looks like a sad child bride.

Ed Westwick and Georgia Jagger at the London Emerging Designers Party in New York

Yes, that’s Chuck Bass, posing with Mick Jagger’s daughter. It’s good to be young, hot, and British, even for Muggles. And let’s give it up for Ms. Jagger for inheriting badass style and a fabulous pair of lips from her dear old dad. Loving that little red dress.

Eva Longoria Parker in Georges Hobeika at the MTV Europe Music Awards

Terrible. The sleeves, the shoulders, the length, the proportions, the fakest tan since my Halloween Snooki spray tan. It can’t get worse than this…

Eva Longoria Parker in Georges Hobeika at the MTV Europe Music Awards

Looks like I was wrong. Because SHE’S WEARING A GIANT DIAPER PANTY. This isn’t a dress, it’s a vest with tails over granny panties! WHO ALLOWED THIS?

Eva Longoria Parker in Emilio Pucci at the MTV Europe Awards

Oh, good lord. This is the most tranny flamenco dancer garment I’ve seen since Project Runway‘s Casanova. I’m getting convinced that this is just a drag version of Eva Longoria.

Tina Fey accepting the Mark Twain Prize for Humor in Washington, DC

Tina Fey was in my neighborhood this week, being honored with a prize for comedy at the Kennedy Center. And for the second week in a row, this funny bitch rocked the red carpet in a fierce little getup, showing surprising trendiness, a glamorous hairdo, and an old Hollywood glamour.

Rihanna at a holiday event in London

Oh, Rihanna. Always looking terrible, but never hitting rock bottom. Can someone please explain to me what that bulge is around her waist? Did she try to make a fannypack out of papier-mache?

Anne Hathaway in Antonio Berardi at the Love & Other Drugs premiere

Literally perfect from head to toe. Even this Diva Bitch can’t find something negative to say. Keep it up, Annie!

Heidi Klum in Mondo Guerra at AFI FEST 2010’s closing night gala

Finally, the “fuck you” to the Project Runway Gretchen-lovers that we’ve all been waiting for. Dedicated readers will recognize this dress as one of the finale looks from fan favorite Mondo Guerra. You might also remember fellow judge Nina Garcia mocking our dear Heidi with a snappy, “I’d like to see you wear that dress,” referring to a long-sleeved twin of this dress. And of course, not one to be sassed, Queen Heidi wore this dress – and rocked it. It’s nice to know someone associated with that show still has some style – besides the omnipotent Tim Gunn, of course.

© Democracy Diva, 2010.

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