Now that March Fabness has ended, it’s time to get back into the swing of things with your good ole celebrity fashion recap. We’re so behind, we’re splitting into FOUR posts to keep you 100% up-to-date on all the fugliness and fabness you’ve missed.
The ex-Big Love star is simple and chic, showing off that flawless porcelain skin in Versace.
Not obsessed with this look – the color is great, but it’s a little lumpy. But the eyeliner is stunning, the hair is cool, the jewelery is great and the shoes are yummy.
Dramatic and totally gorgeous.
Oh. Um. This is awkward. She just looks like a big red bird. And, Blake darling, just because you’ve got a great rack and killer stems doesn’t mean you can refuse to brush your hair, like, ever.
But wait, here’s the back –
Are we really doing those fake-nude dresses like the ones ice skaters wear? Either go naked or don’t; don’t hide behind skin-tone netting.
And furthermore, the shoes:
Gorgeous on their own, but with this dress? These are the shoes that you make a statement with by pairing them with an LBD or something similarly simple.
BRUSH YOUR HAIR. And those shoes are slutty. And your tan is fake.
Hi, guys! Here are my boobs!
Also, BRUSH YOUR HAIR!
I don’t even know what to do with this crazy Mormon lady. I actually love every piece of this outfit individually, but obviously she looks like some sort of hipster Vegas showgirl. That slicked-back hair is just awful.
Oh, but now she’s wearing a poncho made of fringe over a denim jacket with no discernable pants. So . . . I guess I prefer hipster showgirl.
DOES NO ONE UNDERSTAND HOW TO DRESS THIS BODY? De-emphasize the boobs instead of pushing them up to heaven; stay the fuck away from pleated pants and wrinkly, unflattering fabrics; NEVER do pants less than full length, because they make her legs look like stumps. It’s not that hard, stylists.
Half Snooki, half Taylor Swift, totally inappropriate.
Where’s her cane and top hat? Shouldn’t she be in a kick line right now?
Also, most human beings wear shirts under jackets. Just a thought.
Okay, I obviously hate Eva Longoria, but she looks pretty beautiful here.
Fun and funky. Diva approved.
Sleek, chic, and classy.
SHE IS WEARING A SILK BLOUSE WITH A GIRAFFE ON IT. I don’t even know what to do.
See how much more beautiful she is when a) she doesn’t have that stupid pixie cut that does NOT work on a woman with such a heart-shaped face, and b) isn’t wearing a silk giraffe.
Stunning and somehow very sexy even though it doesn’t actually reveal anything. Great colors.
Helen Mirren wears more youthful gowns than this. Chill out and find your inner 21-year-old, Hayden.
Those hair extensions are a bit much, but the lipstick is great, the outfit is casual and chic, and she’s daring to wear black with brown shoes (and possibly a blue purse?), which I respect.
DENIM JACKETS ARE NOT A THING. STOP IT.
If a woman is going to wear a shirt and tie, the shirt and tie need to be WAY nicer than these.
Boring and beautiful, like Keira herself.
She’s a middle-aged woman in a dress covered in lips. This is just sad.
Whoa. This came out of nowhere. One of my favorite gowns so far this year. Great purse, great hair, great make-up, too.
Oy. I appreciate the effort, but this is a hot disaster. The lipstick is awful, and the matching earrings are even worse. The dress itself looks more like a couch than a gown, and the purse and bracelet clash with each other and the dress.
I’m really, really sick of this Marchesa dress, but it’s accessorized well.
I want to rip that weave out of her head, it’s so tacky. She could show up Donald Trump in a fake-looking ahir contest. Anyway, she’s wearing something that covers her tits and hoo-ha, so that’s an improvement. The dress is actually lovely, but with all the colors in the background and the bright orange carpet, the effect is a bit overwhelming. And the necklaces are awful and cheapen the look tremendously.
See, Tina? This is how you rock menswear for women. Much more chic, and the shoes are insanely amazing.
Hate the outfit, love the shoes. The hair is a mess, and this looks more like a beach cover-up than a look for an awards show, no matter how casual the event is.
Seek rehabilitation immediately, Taylor.
© Democracy Diva, 2011