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KATE MIDDLETON in a Riess dress and a Nessie jacket

A princess sometimes has to get a little prissy. It’s part of the job. So although this jacket is a bit on the Queen Mum side, she looks beautiful and the skirt is lovely. The hat could be fabulous if it weren’t quite such a bulbous shape (or perhaps her hair just needs to be down), and HELLO! She’s got a fabulous pair of legs on her. Get it, Princess Kate!

KATE MIDDLETON in Jenny Packham

This is absolutely the loveliest woman on planet earth. We don’t criticize the nude-on-nude accessories, because matching is important when you’re a princess, and they’re all in such a lovely, shiny blush-pink color. The dress is perfect for her. She looks a shade on the thin side, but she has always been a very petite woman. Although, she may have better guns than Michelle Obama, which is saying something. And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that I refuse to die before I find out what kind of shampoo Kate Middleton uses.

KERRY WASHINGTON

The necklace is just too much on top of the black lace, but we’re suckers for a black lace overlay. We wish she’d brought the bling in a bracelet or shoes instead of a necklace.

KHLOE KARDASHIAN

I wasn’t aware that cowboys wore peep-toe leopard print pumps. Guess I missed that scene in Brokeback Mountain.

KIM KARDASHIAN in Dolce & Gabbana

I find myself saying this to you far too often, Kim, but if I can see your belly button through your dress, you need to go up a size.
KIM KARDASHIAN in Gucci

And then there are times when even a size up won’t work. Kim, darling, it doesn’t surprise me that you would be an incredibly self-deluded, insufferable moron, but I didn’t think you were also mentally insane. But to look into a mirror – or spend your money paying people to dress you – and not see that this is NOT THE DRESS FOR YOU must be a sign of paranoid schizophrenia. That being said, we like the colors, but the teal in the shoes might be overkill.

KIRSTEN DUNST in Louis Vuitton

She’s getting just a little too old for this, no? When Elle Fanning is dressed more maturely than you, you should probably re-examine your life.

KRISTEN STEWART in Balmain

I hate to give the same advice over and over, but SMILE, BITCH. You’re young, thin, and rich. There’s nothing to be so gloomy about, except for the fact that you’re wearing a hand towel instead of a dress.

KRISTEN WIIG in J. Mendel

I KNEW Kristen Wiig had it in her! And by that I mean, I knew Kristen Wiig would get a big old Bridesmaids paycheck and spend it on a stylist and start looking fierce as hell! I want her to know that she’s too pretty to require that much makeup, but this dress is an awesome color and flatters her coloring and her figure beautifully. We love the shoulders, and the bracelet was a nice touch.

KRISTIN CHENOWETH

I love me some Cheno, but honey needs to stay away from the tanning salon.

KRISTIN DAVIS

If she could just dress her age for once, please, I would be so happy. This is what Hailee Steinfeld should be wearing, not you, Kristin. And that’s not to say you can’t flaunt your fabulous figure at 46 – you just can’t do it in a twee little blush pink prom dress and strappy nude sandals.

KRYSTEN RITTER

I hate the fabric, which feels like a cross between a newspaper and a garbage bag, but the silhouette is cute, the color is great and the accessories are chic.

LADY GAGA

Why, is that Lady Gaga wearing a dress with her face on it?

Indeed, it is Lady Gaga wearing a dress with her face on it! Should we be relieved that she’s clothed, or disappointed again in her increasingly shameless self-promotion? She’s a tad over-exposed (literally and figuratively) and these kinds of fashion shenanigans aren’t helping.

LADY GAGA in vintage Versace

But wearing layers and layers of incredibly fabulous vintage Versace couture? This is the kind of Gaga antics we just love, love, love. Note the crazy shoulder, the incredibly beautiful belt, and the voluminous skirt, which can easily convert into…

… a blanket, for those post-Speechless chills.

LADY GAGA in Versace

This, we love. The colors, the wig, the shoes/stockings/whatever those are – all of it is colorful and daring and exquisite. Every color in that dress [Editor’s Note: It could be a top and skirt, we’re unsure] is super-fucking-trendy this season, and the teal wig actually works with it.

LI BINGBING in Naeem Khan

It gets a little tablecloth-esque around the train, but most of this dress is simply beautiful. We love the necklace, but she should’ve gone a little bigger with the bling or let her hair down.

MALIN AKERMAN in Tommy Hilfiger

Those are some ugly shoes. The belt looks like an after-thought, and there’s just too much anti-cleavage happening.

MICHELLE OBAMA in Naeem Khan

Our fabulous First Lady has knocked it out of the park quite a few times over the past few weeks. Once again, she’s glowing in a laid-back but still beautiful gown.

MOLLY SIMS

In any other color, we could love this dress. But we cannot support this dirty dishwater shade of nude.

NICOLE KIDMAN in Proenza Schouler

Was there a huge sale on ugly shoes in Hollywood this week? This spider-strappy-sandal thing is getting out of control. Also, there is just nothing pretty about this dress.

OLIVIA WILDE in Yigal Azrouel

Cute dress, but she needs some more accessories. This is on the dull side.

OLIVIA WILDE

It’s a lot of print, but we’re actually really enjoying Olivia in this lovely gown. A simple silhouette, simple colors, but fabulous mixed prints – we dig. If her hair was a little more done and she added a bracelet, I’d be fully satisfied.

PIPPA MIDDLETON

Princess Kate’s sis strutted around in a fabulous little white sundress, a denim jacket that looks cute on her but please god everyone stop wearing denim jackets, and a purse that I am going to rip off her arm, I want it so badly.

ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY in Stella McCartney

If you can’t wear a color, at least wear a dress with a SHAPE. Nothing is more boring than droopy, drapey nude fabric and nude shoes.

SARAH JESSICA PARKER in L’Wren Scott

We love this dress. The shoes are also gorgeous, but for this dress, we’d have gone with a more dramatic shoe to keep this a little less bridal. And for SJP, hair down is usually a better idea than hair up.

UMA THURMAN in Valentino

It’d be lovely if it hadn’t been done so many times before. [Editor’s Note: See: Angelina Jolie’s entire wardrobe.]

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