The biggest stars have flocked to Italy for the Venice Film Festival, so there’s some extra fabulosity in this week’s fashion recap.
DIANE KRUGER // gown by Elie Saab
You can’t really go wrong with a woman this beautiful in an Elie Saab gown. This fits her body and suits Diane’s style so perfectly, it looks like it was hand-made with Ms. Kruger in mind, doesn’t it? I love the double spaghetti straps and the way she’s popped her knee to show off her phenomenal gams covered in delicate lace.
DIANE KRUGER // dress and purse by Chanel
Although I’m choking back vomit at the sight of yet another sloppy braid on the red carpet, I think this dress is incredibly fresh, modern, and stylish. The black-and-white accessories are a little bit too much – I think she could have swapped out either the shoes or the purse for a less matchy-matchy look that would have been a bit more interesting.
KEIRA KNIGHTLEY // dress by Mary Katrantzou
All of the reviews I read of this look were the same: Keira Knightley channels Anna Wintour. And with the mid-calf-length, mixed-print dress and mega-severe bob, I can’t really disagree. Replace the pumps with kitten heels and throw on some over-sized sunglasses and an even more judgmental British pout than Keira’s, and you’ve got a perfect Anna Wintour double.
EVAN RACHEL WOOD // dress by Alessandra Rich, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
It’s not at all my style, but I respect anyone who pulls something interesting out of their wardrobe (and by “their wardrobe,” I mean the rack of clothes sent to them for free, those lucky lucky bitches). The skirt is just too stiff, and there’s way too much of it, but I like the idea of a gown (not just a dress) made from a menswear-style shirt. However, this stark white isn’t excellent on her porcelain skin, and the shoes only enhance that problem.
EVAN RACHEL WOOD // dress by Alessandra Rich, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Again, she seems to have a penchant for too-stiff skirts, but I still love this dress. The bodice is gorgeous, the sleeves are terrific, the length is great, and her hair looks adorable.
EVAN RACHEL WOOD // suit and blouse by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Ferragamo
I’m all about these Ferragamo houndstooth shoes (Lady Gaga wore them a month ago) and I LOVE the suit she paired them with. The collar of that shirt is exquisite and the jacket and pants fit her like a dream. This look explains why menswear for women is so trendy now: when you do it right, you look pretty fantastic. Might have been better with the shirt tucked in, though.
EVAN RACHEL WOOD // blouse, vest and pants by Dolce & Gabbana
And on the opposite end of the spectrum, a vision of menswear gone horribly wrong. Interesting that it has so many of the same elements of the previous look (white/ivory delicate blouse with traditional menswear-type black suiting), and yet here she looks like the lovechild of Peter Pan and Captain Hook.
MADONNA // gown by Vionnet, sunglasses by Miu Miu
God bless Madonna for still giving us something to talk about after all these years. I can easily see people hating on this look – I mean, it’s a woman over fifty wearing a dress covered in butterflies, which is not an easy case to support – but I’m all about it. I have no patience for trains, so I’d nix that, and adjust the fit around her tummy, but the color is fantastic on her. The dress is youthful without making Madonna look like she’s too old to wear it, and I want those sunglasses so badly, I can think of nothing else.
EMMA STONE // gown by Roland Mouret, clutch and shoes by Alexander McQueen
Definitely not my favorite Emma Stone look. Whoever recommended this dark mustard yellow for her skintone should have their fabulous license revoked, or at least suspended for a significant period of time. And I hate all the design elements, from the weak little belt to the plunging, rounded V-neck with that saggy, sad collar. It looks like a pretty decent Project Runway runway look, which is not a compliment considering that Emma more often than not knocks it out of the park on the red carpet. Also, that eyeliner is just ridiculous. It ages her at least ten years – she looks like Julie Cooper from The O.C.
Skin-tight dress and funky jewelry: the Heidi Klum specialty. Can’t deny, the bitch looks good, even if her fake tan is shockingly uneven. The inside of your elbows and your hands should not be a different race than the rest of your body. But I do love that necklace.
KIM KARDASHIAN // dress by Alexander McQueen, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Okay, I’ll begrudgingly give Kim my approval on this one. Her Cher wig almost resembles real hair, she’s wearing McQueen, red is totally her color, and her necklace and shoes are fierce. However, I did read that this is what she wore to run to the market. If that’s true, I judge her. Nobody should put this much effort into what they wear to grab tampons from Duane Reade, not even if their every errand is documented by a camera crew.
KIM KARDASHIAN // dress by Victoria Beckham
It’s just. So. BORING. From color to cut, from the draped top to the too-long train, to the practically vulgar body-hugging fabric, it’s exactly what you expect Kim Kardashian to be wearing at any given red carpet event.
KATE WINSLET // dress by Victoria Beckham, shoes by Jimmy Choo
This is just a super-severe version of Kim’s gown. And if you think about it, Kate Winslet and Kim Kardashian actually have similar styles; Kim’s dresses are always a few sizes tighter and a bit flashier, but they gravitate towards the same silhouettes and colors. Anyway, this Star Trek neckline is a bit much, but I love, love, love the criss-crossing seams around her tummy. Super-flattering, though it could have easily gone the other wear. I wish it were an inch shorter, and the color is a little dingy, but the shoes are fun.
KATE WINSLET// dress by Stella McCartney, shoes by Yves Saint Laurent
This is just a tiny bit strange. I mean, it’s sort of genius – what’s more flattering than a white dress with black sides, making your body literally look like it stops two inches before it actually does? But that boob shelf is simply absurd – either it doesn’t fit her at all, or it’s supposed to look like cartoon tits drawn onto her dress. Dig the hair, though.
MARISA TOMEI // gown by Marios Schwab
Okay, so the way the pearls sort of tuck into her dress is super awkward, but other than that, this dress is kind of great. It’s a super-interesting sunflower yellow – not as dark as the mustard gowns, but not as yellow as some of the brighter, eye-catching yellow gowns – very unique. Digging the long sleeves and the green and gold bracelet. The shoes are obviously a problem – pinkish nude satin platforms? With this gown? Nuh-uh, darling.
JESSICA CHASTAIN // dress by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Christian Louboutin
DELICIOUS street style. For excellent sidewalk fashion, starlets need: an LBD that can easily translate from day to night; a chic but cozy sweater; simple but mega-high stilettos; and large, dark sunglasses. She’s got them all, and she’s workin’ them all.
ASHLEY TISDALE // dress by Tibi, shoes by Vince Camuto
Adorable dress completely ruined by the purse (which resembles a faux-fur headband from Claire’s) and the shoes (dominatrix peep-toe ankle boots, for when your toes are warm but your ankles are cold but you want to still look like a prostitute).
ASHLEY TISDALE // dress by 6 Shore Road
The dress is a little too simple and very two years ago, but the belt is adorable and the T-strap shoes are super trendy. However, her shiny legs and feet paired with the nude shoes make her look like she’s part human, part Barbie doll. And not in the good way.
VANESSA HUDGENS // gown by Candie’s
1. Why did Candie’s design a gown?
2. Why would anyone, even someone as ensembley-challenged as Vanessa Hudgens, deign to even try on such a gown?
3. Once the gown was on, how did Vanessa manage to avoid mirrors entirely before arriving at this event? I mean, she could not have possibly seen what her stomach looked like in this dress before she left the house, right? No one is that delusional. Vanessa is an itsy-bitsy girl; this dress is just horribly cut, and makes her look unreasonably larger.
4. Why did she think we wouldn’t notice how horrible this dress is if she styled herself like a 1920s movie star?
GWYNETH PALTROW // dress by Prada, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood
If you ever ask me why I hate Gwyneth Paltrow, I will show you this picture. No one should look this self-satisfied in a Halloween dress with shoulderpads that seem to be melting onto her arms.