All your favorite starlets hit the red carpet for the Los Angeles County Museum of Art’s gala.
CAMILLA BELLE // dress and shoes by Gucci
Work it, girl! I’m not sure Camilla’s ever given me a reason to love her until now, but boy, do I love this. Dress, purse, and shoes all match without being painfully obvious about it. The dress is busy but in an interesting and unique way, and Camilla’s figure was basically invented for these little flapper dresses. She looks incredible. And you’ll soon see that half the party’s attendees showed up in extraordinarily similar dresses, so the fact that Ms. Belle managed to look better than her more famous peers in identical dresses is pretty impressive.
EVAN RACHEL WOOD // dress and shoes by Gucci
I understand that Gucci was a sponsor of the event, so it was normal for most of the attendees to show up in Gucci. But could their stylists not have conferred with each other before the event? I mean, isn’t that why people hire stylists – not just to make them look good, but to ensure they won’t be wearing the same thing as another attendee? This is from the same Gucci collection (Spring 2012) as Camilla’s dress, and they’re extraordinarily similar, from the flapper style to the black and gold colors to the geometric shapes covering the torso. Evan looks great in this dress, but the 1920s hair and makeup push the vintage too far into costume territory.
ZOE SALDANA // dress and shoes by Gucci
Yes, ANOTHER Gucci Spring 2012 dress. Seriously, stylists, get your shit together. In my two years of fashion blogging, I’ve never seen three starlets show up to the same event in such similar dresses. And it really makes you unable to appreciate any sort of uniqueness or originality, since everybody else at the party is wearing the same damn thing. But Zoe was certainly least successful in her attempt at flapper chic. The hair doesn’t work, the dress doesn’t fit, and Evan’s and Camilla’s dresses were far nicer.
JULIE BOWEN // dress by Collette Dinnigan
Too dull for Mama Dunphy. This is a Taylor Swift outfit – Julie Bowen can do way better.
KATE BECKINSALE // gown by Gucci
You can always count on Kate Beckinsale to look totally perfect and as boring as can possibly be. The dress is beautiful, but almost painfully simple. She could have donned a little more jewelry just to up the drama factor.
AMY ADAMS // gown by Gucci
Blah blah blah, I’m over nude dresses, blah blah blah. But she looks awesome, and you can tell this gown was custom-made for her. It’s got all of Amy’s sweetness and elegance, with a touch of fun and intrigue.
REESE WITHERSPOON // dress by Cushnie et Ochs, purse by Christian Louboutin, shoes by Jimmy Choo
I don’t think that bun ever really works on people. The dress is kind of cute, but it’s extraordinarily basic compared to the flapper dresses and shimmering gowns that her fellow starlets wore. There’s just nothing interesting happening here.
ELISABETH MOSS // gown by Jenny Packham
Get it, Peggy! This is by far the best the Mad Men star has ever looked. The gown is simple but beautiful, and it’s the first dress I’ve seen her wear that doesn’t wash out her coloring completely. The purse is kinda fug, but the hair is almost perfect and the makeup is excellent, especially in comparison to some of her other red carpet looks, which are less than impressive. Keep up the fabulous work, Elisabeth!
EMILY BLUNT // gown by Jenny Packham
Emily Blunt, you’re making me so sad. I legitimately think you’re awesome, because you have good style and you’re hilarious and British and you get to take John Krasinski home with you at night. But this slutty Elvira dress is so not for you. It’s not really for anyone, except the Mileys and Britneys of the world who are predisposed towards looking trashy. You’re too good for this dress, darling.
For a stylist, it’s incredible how she wears the same thing over and over again.
OLIVIA WILDE // dress by Gucci, purse by Rene Caovilla
The gown’s way too matronly for her. Helen Mirren could rock this dress harder than Olivia Wilde does. She played it a little too safe for me.
KATE HUDSON // dress by Gucci, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Please stop existing. Or at least, stop going to events where your picture will be taken. Oh, and change your shoes, change your purse, dye your roots, pull the dress up over your tits, and consider makeup.
KATE BOSWORTH // dress by Erdem, purse by Christian Louboutin, shoes by Jonathan Kelsey
Women of Hollywood: You are not Taylor Swift. Stop dressing like Taylor Swift. She’s a style icon to no one over the age of fourteen.
UMA THURMAN // top and skirt by Lanvin
I saw lots of bloggers applauding Uma’s daring, and talking about how she’s the rare woman who can carry a dress like this. They’re wrong, dear readers. She looks like an idiot, as would anyone wearing a bustle that sticks out a foot from their ass. And, flats? Really? I don’t care how tall you are – if you’re at a gala, wearing a gown (even one as ugly as this), flats are not okay. Period.
AMY POEHLER // dress by Giambattista Valli
Please, Amy. Just call me and let me help you. You are totally awesome and you deserve to dress like it instead of wearing super-tacky, off-season-looking dresses that are at least a size too tight. I also promise to introduce you to the exciting world of accessorizing. The ball is in your court, Ms. Poehler.
RASHIDA JONES // dress by Gucci
Dear funny ladies of Hollywood: Even women too hilarious to care about fashion need to hire stylists. The end.