COBIE SMULDERS at the Tribeca Film Festival // gown by Reem Acra, purse by Judith Leiber
Another week, another killer look courtesy of Cobie Smulders. She’s been tearing it up on the Avengers press tour, and this might be her best work yet. The makeup is glam, the accessories are perfect, and that gown is a DREAM on her. The fit is impeccable, and we all know that’s what turns a pretty gown into a killer red carpet look. The embellished cap sleeves are just terrific, and I’m totally gay for how fucking fantastic her body looks.
COBIE SMULDERS at the Toronto premiere of The Avengers // dress by Izmaylova, shoes by Rachel Zoe
I’d dig the dress, but the slit proves that it’s just a wee bit too tight on her. Waist-up, it’s a pretty fantastic look – and the hair is delicious – but the purse is too matchy and the shoes are just kinda fug.
CHLOË MORETZ in Las Vegas // dress by Kenzo, shoes by Jimmy Choo
She’s too adorable for her own good, this one. I wasn’t into the collar, but the I’m-a-big-kid-now shoes balance out the twee-ness of the dress. A note to Michelle Williams – please get rid of everything in your closet and sent it Ms. Moretz’s way. Because you basically share a wardrobe, and only one of you is young enough to be dressing like this.
FREIDA PINTO at the Tribeca Film Festival // suit and shoes by Gucci, purse by Fendi
The suit is beyond beautiful, but I’m not sure everything from the belt to the purse to the butterfly pin had to match so precisely. And there’s something very funny about the proportion of those pant legs, no? They should hit just a bit higher if they’re cropped and just a bit lower if they’re not. But, I could do with a strawberry Gucci suit in my closet. I’m just sayin’.
ELIZABETH BANKS in Santa Monica // dress by Matthew Williamson, shoes by Jean-Michel Cazabat
The dress is sexy and interesting and all kinds of fabulous, but there’s something not right about the shoes. And if you’re going for bold, dark colors in the clothing and accessories, makeup that’s this bare tends to make you look a little unbalanced.
HEIDI KLUM in New York City // gown by Temperley London
It’s a pretty dress, sure. But center slits are never my favorite, and the print and color are a little stuffy and old-fashioned. And then she’s got sideboob and frontboob and all kinds of boob, and it’s just leaving me exhausted. But that might be the four hours of sleep I got last night.
HEIDI KLUM in New York City // dress by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Christian Louboutin
See, Heidi? You can cover up the twins that made you famous and look even MORE like the hottest woman in the universe. I mean, we’ve seen this dress a hundred times, but it’s perfect on her, the watch is ridiculously cute, and the shoes are fierce as hell.
LEELEE SOBIESKI in New York City // dress and shoes by Chanel
The dress walks the fine line between Mad Men and batshit crazy hipster girl, but it doesn’t cross over into the dark side. But the earrings and hair are killing me. While from the front, the shoes look a little orthopedic, they’re actually way more interesting than that:
The shoes save the day, girlfriend. Lose the earrings and you’re good to go.
KRYSTEN RITTER in Los Angeles // vintage dress, shoes by Alice + Olivia
This girl and her perfect little floral dresses. She’s too adorable, but she needs to start accessorizing as well as she dresses. Black pumps does not an outfit make, Ms. Ritter.
LEIGHTON MEESTER in Shanghai // dress by Marchesa, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Looks like Leighton has SJP syndrome – while Sarah Jessica Parker thinks she’s Carrie Bradshaw, it appears Leighton has herself confused with Blair Waldorf. But she can’t perfect the details quite like the real Queen B.
KRISTEN STEWART in Las Vegas // dress by Cushnie et Ochs, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Cute. Not exactly worthy of Glamour UK’s “Best Dressed of 2012” – also, I don’t live in the UK, but I’m pretty sure it’s still MAY there too, and thus naming anyone the best anything of 2012 is more than a little presumptuous – but it’ll do.
AMY POEHLER in New York City // dress by Black Halo
GO AND GET IT, LESLIE KNOPE! Keyholes and cut-outs and slits! Who has been dressing up Ms. Poehler, because I want to shake your hand and also urge you away from nude pumps in the future. And Amy, you’re positive glowing. Whatever Will Arnett’s doing in the sack, tell him to keep it up.
JENNIFER LOPEZ in Hollywood // dress by Lanvin, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
It didn’t look good on Emma Stone earlier this year, and it certainly doesn’t work on the much more curvacious J.Lo. And have we stepped into a time machine and entered a Britney Spears video circa 2001? Why is she wearing a snake?
CAMILLA BELLE at the Tribeca Film Festival // dress by Carven, purse by Bulgari, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I appreciate the effort – prints! colors! – but honey, this is one hideous fucking dress. And the bridesmaid shoes are only making things worse.
ALLISON WILLIAMS in New York City // gown by Donna Karan
I’ll take this opportunity to address Girls, briefly. I watched the pilot and thought it was boring and sad, and I couldn’t be bothered to watch more when my primary reaction was, “Why do all of these women hate themselves?” But I digress. Here’s Brian Williams’s daughter, and she’s on the show, and she’s in Donna Karan, so we’re obligated to discuss her even though her shoes are hideous. She actually can pull off this ridiculous shade of pink, but the ruffles and the strap and the slit? What extra in “America” from West Side Story did she steal this from?
DAKOTA FANNING in New York City // gown by Elie Saab, purse by Jimmy Choo
I want to pick her up and shake her and scream, “WHY ARE YOU SO OPPOSED TO WEARING A COLOR?” Seriously, Dakota would be one of my favorite red carpet starlets if she wore everything she’s already worn, but in a color instead of a dingy ivory that blends in with her skin and hair and makes her look washed-out and sickly.
KRISTEN WIIG in New York City // jumpsuit by Stella McCartney, shoes by Gucci
You know, for a lace jumpsuit, it’s not the worst thing on earth. The top is okay, and the bottom is okay, but it’s the business in the middle that makes this unforgivable. At least the shoes are beautiful, but they can’t save this jumpsuit from its super-unflattering proportions.
COCO ROCHA in New York City // dress by Jason Wu
Why, Coco? Why must you ruin such a beautiful cocktail dress with ankle booties? I would gladly rip that dress off your back and don the appropriate footwear with it.
CHARLIZE THERON in Las Vegas // dress by Dion Lee, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
Oh, sweet Jesus. This amount of illusion netting is just depressing. And those stripes couldn’t be less flattering.
ZAC EFRON at the Germany premiere of The Lucky One // suit by George Clinton
In case you were wondering, yes. Zac Efron CAN rock the shit out of a shiny purple suit. You can all sleep soundly, with that knowledge safe in your heart.