Happy Sunday, fellow divas! Grab yourself another cup of coffee and let’s get to judging.
FELICITY JONES in Los Angeles
gown by Christian Dior
Felicity Jones is WHERE IT IS AT, dear readers. The British actress is blowing up this year, and her increasingly fabulous style matches her rising fame. Also, she’s 31 and looks barely legal, so I have a feeling she’ll be playing ingenues until she’s 80. Anyway, her gown is incredibly simple but utterly classic. The color and the fit are flawless, and the dress’s simplicity lets those mega-glam earrings shine. Also: POCKETS. There is just nothing better than a gown with pockets.
EDDIE REDMAYNE in Los Angeles
suit and tie by Alexander McQueen
Perfect. Eddie Redmayne is one of my favorite people, male or female, on the red carpet. He’s all about the skinny suits in stunning colors, and I just eat his adorableness up with a spoon.
PADMA LAKSHMI in New York City
gown by Naeem Khan
PHENOMENAL. I wish it were just a hair shorter, but Padma has never looked better. She always shines in Naeem Khan’s art deco-influenced designs, but this is better than I could have possibly imagined.
ANNE HATHAWAY in London
dress by Wes Gordon, shoes by Charlotte Olympia
I don’t think the platforms work all that well with this look, but the dress is divine. The modern flapper hairstyle really brings the look together. And I love the gorgeous bitch-face she’s rocking, like she’s peering right into your soul and saying, “I give no fucks about how much everyone hates me. Your backlash has no effect on my talent, money, and looks. SO SUCK IT.”
ANNE HATHAWAY in Los Angeles
top and skirt by 3.1 Phillip Lim
The curvy detailing is just fucking great. Anyone think a girl with a decidedly Jewish nose could pull of this haircut? Just asking for… well, myself.
TAYLOR SWIFT in New York City
dress by Antonio Berardi, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
Fierce as shit, and that’s not a phrase I usually ascribe to Taylor Swift. God, remember when she only wore little princessy bat mitzvah dresses for like three years straight? Let’s hear it for whoever’s been styling Taylor for the last year or so, because they have eliminated so much girly boredom from my life.
CAMILLA BELLE in Los Angeles
dress by Gucci
Weird prints are in – the more random, the better. I’ve seen birds and cocktails and chili peppers and abstract penises on the red carpet, so even though half the objects on this dress are indiscernible, I’m on board. I also like that the clutch matches perfectly, but the shoes don’t. Even though they’re beige, they bring some much-needed contrast to the look. It’s a pop of non-color instead of a pop of color, but somehow, it’s working.
RASHIDA JONES in Los Angeles
dress by Erdem, purse by Kotur, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Rashida has upped her style game significantly in recent months. Erdem is one of my favorite designers, and even though this velvet LBD is a tad youthful, I think Rashida is wearing it well. I hate tassels on purses (and on most other things) as a rule, but the rest of the purse brings some desperately-needed badassery to an otherwise girly look. Same for the shoes – that ankle strap is a tiny detail, but somehow, it makes all the difference.
JENNIFER LOPEZ in Los Angeles
crop top and pants by ICB, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Is it weird that I love this? I know those shoes are kind of terrifying, and Jennifer Lopez rarely looks like anything but a drag queen impersonator of herself anymore. But honestly, I’m so used to her in sparkly illusion-netting Zuhair Murad gowns or skintight, mega-short cocktail dresses that anything else feels like a breath of fresh air. I think the cut of these separates are brilliant – they allow her to show off some skin and her mind-bogglingly amazing abs, but she looks about a thousand times more comfortable than usual. Loose-fitting but sexy, and the shoes, nails, and jewelry add the Diva Factor that no J.Lo outfit is complete without.
JORDANA BREWSTER in Los Angeles
jacket and shorts by Dsquared²
A shorts-tuxedo is difficult to pull off (which Pharrell proved at the 2014 Oscars), but I’m actually loving this on Jordana. It helps that she has legs for days, and a completely delectable pair of printed pumps, and a smoky charcoal clutch. The accessories bring interesting textures into an otherwise satin-y look, and the lack of a shirt under the jacket brings this look from overdressed tennis pro to totally sexy.
JAMES MARSDEN in Los Angeles
suit by Ovadia & Sons
I’m not sure his frame is all that suited to double-breasted suits, but there’s basically nothing on earth that could make this man looking anything less than dreamy. So, do your thing, James. You clearly do it well.
ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO in New York City
dress by Versus Versace, purse by Rauwolf
The nude fabric cheapens this look significantly – it just looks like discolored illusion netting, which always reads as “exotic ice dancer” to me. But Alessandra is undeniably sexy in everything and nothing; that pretty much comes with the territory when you’re an underwear model.
OLIVIA WILDE in Los Angeles
dress by Roksanda, shoes by Stuart Weitzman
I actually like that weird, abstract peplum thing that’s happening here, but everything else about this look just drags it down. The length is odd, the lack of jewelry makes her seem oddly naked, the ubiquitous “Nudist” sandal is underwhelming here, and the hair just makes me depressed.
ALICIA KEYS in New York City
gown by Givenchy
It feels like half the women in Hollywood are pregnant right now, but I can’t say Alicia’s maternity style is blowing me away. Those off-shoulder straps look make poor Ms. Keys look like she’s in bedazzled restraints.
KATE HUDSON in Los Angeles
dress by Temperley London, purse by Brian Atwood, shoes by Christian Louboutin
The color is amazing on her, but I don’t think she needed to repeat it in the shoes. We get it, Kate. You look good in electric coral. Now don’t get greedy.
ALLISON WILLIAMS in New York City
dress by Giambattista Valli
Sadly, this is one of the most interesting things she’s ever worn. And it’s still pretty fucking boring.
DIANE KRUGER in Los Angeles
dress by Hugo Boss
Where have you gone, March Fabness 2013 National Champion Diane Kruger? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you. (Woo, woo, woo.) There’s nothing particularly horrific about this, but when I compare it to her long and storied red carpet career, it just doesn’t hold a candle to her previous fashion hits.
JESSICA CHASTAIN in Los Angeles
dress by Prada
Love this lady, but Jessica Chastain looks like a deranged kindergartener right now.
POPPY DELEVINGNE in London
dress by Valentino, shoes by Jimmy Choo
I understand that Perspex has been a thing lately, but come on. She looks like she’s wearing an umbrella, for God’s sake.
ZOSIA MAMET in New York City
jacket and skirt by Rebecca Minkoff
Was it in half the Girls stars’ contracts that they had to get hideous, platinum-blonde haircuts this season? I don’t care how much they’re paying you, Zosia – it’s not enough to justify this.