Project Runway Recap: S8 E11

Alright, let’s just say it: This episode SUCKED. Remember last week, when the judges finally bitched out the contestants for making clothes instead of fashion? Well, in their omnipotent brilliance, the producers decided to water the design competition down to activewear, which is about as far from last week’s “THIS IS A DESIGN COMPETITION!” as you can get. I don’t know what was sadder – the fact that having your sweatpants sold on amazon.com was supposed to be a reward, or the fact that Heidi Klum has an activewear line on amazon.com. But you know what was sad? Everything in Heidi’s collection, and everything the contestants designed. Because, guess what? No one gives a shit about activewear. Or Heidi as a designer. Or the eliminated designers who returned to make drama, and I guess some clothes.

Yes, Ivy took this challenge as an opportunity to accuse Michael of cheating – in the workroom, of all places, and in front of other people – and then went to each other individual designer to gossip about it. I wouldn’t put cheating past Michael C, but I think if the designers had really caught him cheating, they would have called him out when it happened just to get him thrown off the show. Why wait until weeks later when no one can do anything about it? That’s just not good strategy. He probably did cheat, but I think the ladies are lying about having seen the alleged boob tape first hand. I think the other models saw it and tattled to the other designers, who knew that without firsthand proof, the producers were not going to give a shit. But 90 minutes of bad designs and Ivy’s bitterness? Ugh. Anyway, expect my comments on the individual looks to be brief, because there’s nothing interesting to say about clothes that aren’t interesting. Let’s just start the fucking show.

ANDY – Winner

Andy’s 1st look was a moderately cool sweatshirt and a boring pair of leggings. Cute by soccer mom standards, but not particularly fashionable.

Lord, do I hate those pants. And I know over-sized is a look, but this just looks sad.

This is the look that won Andy the challenge. Comfortable but sexy with a little style to it. I like the skeletal vibe, but I agree that when paired with the other looks, it gets a little Halloween-y.

APRIL – Top 3

This looks better in photos than it did on television, but I still think it looks too much like a robe. I love the piece on her left shoulder, but I hate the way the fabric hangs on the right one.

Awful from the front – in fact, one of my least favorite looks from this episode and one of April’s worst this season. But the back of that jacket is darn cute.

If you took away exposed zippers and giant panties, I think the models for half the garments made this season would be walking down the runway naked. Here’s another case of the granny panty, paired with a shirt that has absolutely no design to it whatsoever. April, don’t let me down, girl. You’re funny and kind of a bitch and you curse like a sailor, and you’re talented beyond your years. Don’t fuck this up!

CHRISTOPHER -Eliminated

The judges finally stopped staring at Christopher’s beautiful face long enough to realize that he hasn’t made anything interesting yet this season, and so our favorite cutie has finally been cut. I can’t say he didn’t deserve it – these looks were dreadful and his track record is less than excellent. And this look is ugly, ugly, ugly.

The top half screams tween at a mall, the bottom is just insane. I can’t imagine the woman who’d want to wear this (and that includes women who shop for activewear on amazon.com).

Probably the ugliest dress in the world, but you know what? It’s totally hipster-ugly-cute enough to be my new favorite sleep shirt. And who doesn’t want to take Christopher Collins to bed with them? (Sorry, Nate!)

GRETCHEN – Bottom 3

I didn’t hate this nearly as much as the judges, though I agree that it’s a bit of a hot mess. I actually thought the skirt-over-biker-shorts concept was kind of clever and sexy, if a bit impractical. The rest of the look is garbage, which was surprising. Everything Gretchen makes looks like activewear that should be sold on amazon.com, so I can’t believe she fucked up this challenge so badly.

Maybe this what caused the judges to hate on Gretchen’s so-called 80s dance party collection, but I kind of liked this look. Cropped tops are back, at least in the Spring 2011 collections, and while I don’t think Gretchen was necessarily prophetic in creating this little cutoff tee, I still dig it. I’m not sure why all her pants have to have bibs on the front or back, but these were less offensive than most of her previous creations. And I like the shoes.

Dreadful. A bathrobe over a glorified towel over tacky leggings. As wrong as wrong can get.

MICHAEL C – Bottom 3

The episode aired days ago and I’m still personally offended by how ugly these pants are in fit, cut, and color. Who wants pants that mimic saddlebags? And the slouchy top and sweater are so depressing. But clearly the styling was the cherry on top of this pumpkin pie (forgive the mixed metaphor). The judges were right to point out that all the giant, clunky belts and shoes and the stick-straight hair are, like, totally over.

More ugly pants. More ugly sweaters. I don’t think I can take much more of this.

Michael could have thrown twenty belts on this and it still wouldn’t have hid the fact that it’s a complete piece of shit and fits like a cardboard box. AND DID YOU NOTICE THE EXPOSED ZIPPER? I think Michael’s collection angers me more than Pretty Christopher’s, because Michael is so unlikeable and Christopher is as loveable as a mini Australian shephard puppy (shout out to Chloe, new puppy of Jill, the Diva’s old roommate), but I still think Christopher deserved the auf’ing. But if Michael’s not next to go, I’ll eat my hat.

MONDO – Top 3

Let’s get ready to MONDO! I knew the judges were never going to give Mondo four wins in a row, but his looks far outshone Andy’s. The top is beautiful and trendy, the leggings are super-sexy and a great fit, and the headband says, “Try as you might, you can’t edit down MONDO, BITCHES!”

Another funky shirt, cute leggings (great color and GREAT length – that middle-of-the-knee hit is unique and flattering), and another fabulous, Mondo-riffic headband.

And this blouse really is where activewear meets fashion. You really could wear that to yoga and still look bangin’ walking down the street. The hair is laughably terrible, the headband is my least favorite of the three, and I pity the designers for having such an awful selection of shoes to choose from, but in spite of that, this was a pretty great entry from future Project Runway winner Mondo Guerra (at least, according to this Diva).

Please check out my Red Carpet Predictions from the Spring 2011 Collections! I’m taking all the most fabulous gowns from the latest runway shows and predicting which of your favorite celebs will be wearing them. It’s so good, it got plagiarized!

© Democracy Diva, 2010.

Project Runway Recap: S8 E10

What an episode! I was prepared for this week’s challenge to be dramatic and feelingsy, but it was truly emotional and even inspirational. You’ve just got to watch it for yourself to understand how moving it was, but Mondo has transformed from a quirky but talented tap-dancing designer to an honest and brave soul who knows how to find inspiration in life’s blessings and curses. The best part? Unlike most Project Runway drama, this didn’t feel scripted or over-produced. It just felt raw and real.

But enough about the feelings – we’re here to talk about the designs. This week, Project Runway brought back a terrific challenge from last season, giving the designers the opportunity to create their own prints. No twists and turns – just prints (and feelings). So let’s start the show!

Andy – Bottom 4

This late in the game, there’s no excuses. I don’t care if you’re distracted by your family or your feelings or your personal life – you can’t just give up on a challenge the way Andy did yesterday. Andy hasn’t always made the best choices in this competition, but until this challenge, he stayed true to himself. You could feel Andy’s spirit in every design. But this outfit lacked the vision that makes Andy unique. And Nina was right – this, like too many other garments on the runway this season, is clothes, not fashion.

Andy is at a disadvantage because of his truly awful model, but that’s also no excuse. That mullet blouse was uninspired and unflattering, that vest is disgusting, and those shorts make her look thick-thighed and not at all fashionable. And the print? Sad, boring, and unoriginal. I wouldn’t have eliminated Andy simply because of the strength of his prior work, but if I were basing my decision solely on this challenge, Andy would have been the sure loser.

April – Top 3

Another dark, sexy and intriguing look from April, who I love more and more every week. I like that she’s rough around the edges, with her gloom-and-doom aesthetic and general badass attitude, but she is clearly a gentle soul with a good heart underneath it all. This print, based on her parents’ divorce when she was 13, was stunning. The tree going up the model’s arm is beautiful and very unique, and her incorporation of the print into the design was rather brilliant. I love the silhouette and the styling, and I respect April for being the only designer besides Mondo to create real fashion for this challenge. She was my choice for the runner-up.

Christopher – Bottom 4

Christopher’s designs get more boring every week, and this garment is living proof. The print looked pretty cheap on the runway, but it’s even worse in close-up. It lacks emotion and personality and just looks incredibly amateurish. It’s my least favorite print of the group. I keep being stunned that Christopher is sneaking through when the judges admitted that there’s nothing memorable in his portfolio from this show. I’m still hoping he’ll turn it around and churn out something awe-inspiring, but if he’s planning on pulling out all the stops, I hope it does it soon.

Gretchen – Top 3

I hate the colors. I hate the print. I hate the cut of the shirt. I hate the ruffly collar. I hate the butt-flap on the pants. I have HAD it with Gretchen’s “disco-earthy” (aka “dated-matronly”) aesthetic, her over-confidence, and the judges’ refusal to critically view anything she designs. Nina gave her a “you can do better” speech, but it was more of a “you’re so amazing that we know you can do better” speech rather than a “step up your lousy fucking game” speech. And which one of the crack-smoking judges said that Gretchen is by far the best stylist of the group? That’s the furthest thing from the truth. Mondo is clearly the best stylist, with April riding close behind him. Gretchen has some strengths, but I really don’t think styling is one of them.

Michael C – Bottom 4

Oh, lord. Is Michael C still in the competition? I wrote him off so many weeks ago, I get frustrated just having to look at his face. This print is almost as bad as Christopher’s, and this design was downright ridiculous. As always, the styling is as dated and tacky as can be. So even though we still don’t actually know who Michael is as a designer, because everything he makes is completely derivative and lacking in any sort of originality, HE’S STILL HERE. Because although he’s never the best and usually pretty terrible, he’s also never the worst.

Mondo – Winner!

Incredibly moving inspiration aside, this look was the clear winner. I’m happy the judges said what they did about this outfit before Mondo told them his story, proving that they loved it as fashion AND as a message. Nina and I made the same moaning noise when the model took off the jacket, revealing that fabulous polka-dotted lining. The blouse is draped perfectly, and those pants are simply fantastic. Yes, they’re crazily high-waisted, but they look incredible and fit like a glove. Mondo truly is a master at the art of mixed prints, and he is deserving of his third win in a row.

Valerie – Eliminated

This was far from the worst of the week, but copying your own design from earlier in the season in such a half-assed way is definitely a dealbreaker. Valerie deserved the auf-ing just for thinking she could get away with such shenanigans. Valerie was sweet and talented, but she let the pressure of the competition get to her too early on, and she lost her way. (This is the direction Andy is headed if he doesn’t get his head together.) I don’t think the print was as bad as the judges thought it was, but it certainly wasn’t my favorite. I feel that this garment is over-worked, over-designed, under-edited, and far too stiff and unforgiving. Other than that, I didn’t mind it, but sweet Val got what was coming to her after several consecutive weeks of unimpressive looks.

Need more fashion? Of course you do! Check out my coverage of New York Fashion Week, plus the best looks from Milan Fashion Week and London Fashion Week! For more updates, follow me on twitter @democracydiva.

Project Runway S8 E9

Okay, who else is ready for the “Shocking Twist: MAKE MORE STUFF! WITH NO EXTRA TIME!” gimmick to be up? I understand the contestants need to be challenged, but if you expect someone to make a high fashion gown, at least give them more than a day to make it. It’s not about being kinder to the designers – it’s the simple fact that everything on the runway looks like shit when the designers run out of time. Throwing a ready-to-wear look on top of the challenge just decreased the quality of every garment.

And is it just me, or is a total oxymoron to instruct the designers to create a high-fashion couture look… to advertise an $8 eyeshadow? I get that the winner’s $20,000 needs to come from somewhere, but please. Don’t pretend something in a L’Oreal commercial is going to be Parisian couture. It’s an insult to your viewers.

Alright, I’ll shut up. Let’s start the show.

Andy – Top 3

Couture:

I absolutely loved this when it first went down the runway, but the more I look at it, the less impressed I actually am. I still love the fact that Andy made pants, and more importantly, pants that fit well. Christian Siriano is basically the only other designer in the show’s history who can actually construct a pair of pants. At first I appreciated how over-the-top it was, but viewed in photos instead of on TV, it’s basically a bunch of fan-like objects placed on top of an ordinary black suit. And that feels like a bit of a cop-out to me. But Andy has stood by his point of view week after week, which I respect. And in the hot mess on that runway, his stuck out as one of the few with any creativity whatsoever. He’d still have made the top 3 in my judging, but only because everybody sucked this week.

Ready To Wear (RTW):

Sexy, simple, and relatively well-made, considering the constraints he was under. It feels a little Gaga, which I love.

April – Safe

Couture:

I feel like I should be sick of April’s goth-chic aesthetic by now, but I’m not. It doesn’t make for great television, because it’s hard to see the details in all her black outfits, but when you review them in photos, each garment is intricate and unique. I’m digging the leather-and-lace train in particular. It’s like Lady Gaga meets Twilight, which sounds like it should be terrible but actually sort of works! It’s not exactly couture, but it’s intriguing and creative, and for that, I’d have put April in the top 3.

RTW:

Like Andy’s RTW look, April’s dress doesn’t move mountains, but it’s cute enough and isn’t falling apart at the seams. I hate that necklace, though.

Christopher – Safe

Couture:

I didn’t hate this when I first saw it, but I hate it more every minute I look at it. The white draping around her waist is sloppy and unflattering, and in the immortal words of Michael Kors, it looks like she’s pooping fabric. That dirty rose water pink is awful, as is the “nude” underlay that clashes horribly with the model’s skin tone. The shoulder piece is nice from the back, but a little underwhelming from the front. But the hair and makeup really drag this down into the dumps. Christopher seems like a wonderfully sweet person and a good designer, but he may just be too boring to continue much further on the show.

RTW:

Oof! That is some sloppy sewing. The dress is only slightly more boring than April’s and Andy’s RTW looks, but the snooze-worthy fabrics and truly shoddy construction make it seem like a much hotter disaster. And I’d have put him in the bottom 3 for two poorly made and drab-colored garments down the runway.

Gretchen – Top 3

Couture:

Since this season began, I’ve never liked anything Gretchen designs as much as the judges praise it. Sometimes it’s just a matter of personal taste – the 1970s aesthetic that’s all over Gretchen’s mind and the New York Fashion Week runways right now is really not my style – but sometimes, I just want to tell Michael, Nina, and Heidi to put down the crack pipe and open their eyes. This is ugly, dowdy, matronly, and not even remotely couture or high-fashion. I don’t think it feels expensive or chic, and the back, which the judges creamed their pants over, looks beyond tacky to me. I’ll concede that the feather work is nicely done, but this is not a garment that a real woman wants to wear.

RTW:

Gretchen, I’ll give you $20,000 myself if you just make something that doesn’t feature a slouchy sweater, oversized sleeves, or droopy fabrics of any kind. Gretchen’s strong construction skills would make me judge her as safe, but no way in hell would she be in the top 3 if I were in the judge’s circle.

Ivy – Eliminated

Couture:

Well, it was about damn time. Ivy’s been churning out ugly after ugly since the beginning. But I must say, even I could not have anticipated just how ugly this was going to be. I knew the colors were tacky, the concept was too literal, and it wouldn’t be remotely high fashion, but I didn’t think it was going to look THIS bad.

RTW:

And THIS was so bad, it was almost funny. The lack of a hem, the so-called draping, that awful neckline – I’d have sent Ivy home for either one of these looks, and she solidified her fate with two equally horrible garments.

Michael C – Bottom 3

Couture:

Before I noticed the wire hem, the never-ending train and the way the Bordeaux fabric shimmers, I didn’t hate this. I thought it was so derivative of Christian Siriano and other similar designers that it was practically copyright infringement, but I didn’t think it was ugly. But those three details (hem, train, shininess) killed it for me.

RTW:

Again, it’s every Alice + Olivia cocktail dress that Barneys sells, proving once again that Michael C has not an original thought in his head, but at least I could see a young woman wearing this. I actually would have made Michael C safe, not thrown him in the bottom, but I swear if I see one more zipper on this fucking runway, I’m going to lose my mind.

Mondo – Winner!

Couture:

I didn’t love the front, but this was by far the best look on the runway. I hate that the bodice sits so far away from her chest, and the black satiny fabric he used for the front looks cheap and tacky, but the back is simply stunning. I agree with the judges that the length is a problem (too short in front, too long in back), but the back of this dress is the only thing on the runway that I would call high fashion. As always, Mondo mixes prints and colors with impeccable skill, but what amazes me is the geometric, architectural shapes to this skirt. It’s not simply draped in back – it’s practically origami folded in such a complex and beautiful way.

RTW:

Simple and chic, but supremely body-conscious and much more show-stopping than any of the other RTW looks. If his win wasn’t solidified with the couture dress, this certainly would have given him the win in my book.

Valerie – Bottom 3

Couture:

Oh, lord. This dress is as basic as basic gets. The only actual design aspect is that sad little shoulder piece; the rest is an endless nightmare of white. Did she really think she could just wrap white fabric around her model and call it a day?

RTW:

I still get queasy just looking at this hot mess. It certainly gives Ivy a run for her money in terms of suckery. Valerie should thank her lucky stars that Ivy screwed up so badly, and she should watch her back, because if she doesn’t make a 180 soon, the judges are not going to forgive her.

Up next: London Fashion Week! Milan Fashion Week! And so much more. Stay updated on twitter @democracydiva.

Project Runway S8 E8

This episode was, in the great words of Heidi Klum, a snooze-fest. Design an American sportswear look with the great Jackie O as the inspiration. Could’ve been great, except that most of the designers choked and came up with something boring and irrelevant to the challenge. And in response, the judges were so unreasonably mean that the show became uncomfortable to watch. Oh, well. Let’s start the show.

Andy – Bottom 3

Believe it or not, the worst thing about this look is not the way those pants ride up her ass. It’s that Andy deluded himself into thinking that Jackie Kennedy would actually wear this. The shirt is as nothing as nothing gets, the vest is boring and strangely proportioned, and those pants… Sigh. I might be able to forgive Andy for making a great pair of pants that Jackie would never wear, or an awful pair of pants that Jackie would wear, but this… this is inexcusable. You don’t get to fuck up on the inspiration AND the execution without hearing some truly heartbreaking jibes from Michael Kors. The judges were incredibly harsh this week, but after staring at these pants, I’m not sure I can blame them. But I agree with Nina – as horrible as these pants are, at least Andy is the type of designer who will surprise us. As far as I’m concerned, that’s reason enough for keeping him on the show.

April – Safe

Okay, I get it. Black is a thing. Some designers can get away with entire collections of nothing but black. But April, you’re not there yet. And this is like the eightieth black outfit you’ve made on this show. Step out of your comfort zone and into the world of technicolor, please.

That being said, the dress is cute. I like the two different black fabrics sewn together – it looks expensive and stylish. I can’t really tell what that thing over her shoulder is supposed to be, and I’m not quite sure what about this dress is Jackie O, but I think it’s nice all the same. But I’m still wondering if April can design for any customer except herself.

Christopher – Top 3

Gorgeous dress, fugly coat. The dress is soft and elegant, and I love that it’s a little bit Grecian, like Jackie in the Onassis years. But holy hell, it looks like she’s wearing road kill around her shoulders. It’s about as subtle as Lady Gaga’s meat dress.

Gretchen – Safe

Obviously Jackie Kennedy’s style spanned the decades, but the reason she is an icon is because of her classic 1960s style. That’s why they brought on January Jones, the star and fashion icon of a show set in the early 1960s, as the guest judge. So can someone tell me why Gretchen went hardcore 1970s for every part of this look? The tacky print and the looseness of the skirt, the revealing top, the oversized sweater, and that goddamn camel color she loves so much – it’s screaming disco, which is not what Jackie was about. It just makes me feel like Gretchen really can only do one aesthetic – modern takes on 1970s fashion in butt-ugly colors. I can’t support that style in general, but certainly not in a Jackie O challenge.

Ivy – Top 3

I liked the neckline of the white top, and I felt that overall, this look felt like Jackie O. But it lacks the elegance and glamour that she embodied – it’s like Ivy designed for the poor man’s First Lady instead of the real deal. And I think the back of that jacket is just a mess. But this is the first look Ivy’s designed all season that I didn’t absolutely hate. So, I guess that’s something.

Michael C – Safe

It’s not sportswear. And it’s not Jackie. It’s an evening gown with a denim trench. Michael C has more lives than a cat, but his time is coming, kittens. We’re getting down to the fun part of the season – where all the people on the show actually have talent. And while Michael C and Ivy may have been able to hold their own against AJ and Casanova, they simply lack the talent of designers like Mondo and April. They’ve both shown way more bad looks than good ones, and I’m dreaming of a double elimination in which Michael Kors just vomits all over their designs.

Michael D – Eliminated

Tom & Lorenzo called this a Monet – cute from afar, but a total mess when you get closer – and I think they’re absolutely right. Everything is reasonably cute, if a little cheap looking, from far away. But look closely – everything is actually kind of a mess. I don’t hate the jacket as much as the judges did, but there’s no excuse for those ill-fitting tank tops. My biggest pet peeve is when designers spend so much time and effort on one part of their look that they completely ignore another part of it. This problem was an epidemic in this challenge – it happened with Andy’s boring white shirt, it happened with Valerie’s black skirt, and it happened here, with those sad, droopy shirts. And while a modern tween might rock that skirt, Jackie Kennedy would not have done so.

Mondo – Winner

Do I even have to say anything, dear readers? THIS. IS. AMAZING. This is by far my favorite look of the season, and I’m pretty sure it’s in my top 5 best Project Runway designs of all time. The shock of purple as the lining of the coat was simply brilliant – it’s Mondo’s keen eye for detail that takes this look from great to incredible. That top is classic American sportswear in the best sense of the term. It fits so incredibly well, and it was a stroke of genius to take the cuffs of the sleeves and do them in vertical stripes instead of horizontal. And my faithful readers know by now that I’m obsessed with sleeves that hit right at the elbow – Mondo’s picking up on a great trend.

And that skirt. I could write a love sonnet in iambic pentameter about that skirt, but I’ll spare you. The print is stunning and it fits her like a dream. I believe Jackie Kennedy would actually have worn that exact garment, and I can’t say that for any other singular item on this runway.

Valerie – Bottom 3


I think the judges were unreasonably hard on Valerie this week. Yes, she was stupid to completely overlook the skirt and make something so basic and boring. But I see nothing wrong with the colors of the vest and jacket that the judges complained about. And did they really get on her case for making a jacket over a jacket when the challenge forced her to make outerwear even when she’d already made the jacket? That’s just unfair. Obviously she didn’t want to do two layers of outerwear, but she had no choice, and I think the vest was a smart idea. It kept her from getting too bulky. And while I agree that the collar is a little sad, I think the vest itself is pretty cute. I don’t know exactly where Jackie O fits into this outfit, but I’m glad we get to keep Valerie around a little longer. I know she’s got more to show us.

 

Up next on the blog: Your weekly fashion recap, focusing on who wore what to which fashion show! And of course, I’ll be working on the best and worst New York Fashion Week! Get all the updates on twitter @democracydiva!

Project Runway Recap: S8 E7

This week’s challenge was to create a resort look. The catch? After the contestants designed their looks and went fabric shopping, they then had to partner up and construct their partner’s design. But the judging was conducted based on who designed the look, not who constructed it. Drama ensued: Ivy is neurotic, Michael D can’t sew, Valerie needs some love from the judges (or a Xanax), Casanova can’t speak English but has good vision, etc. But who gives a shit about anything except the clothes? Let’s start the show.

Andy’s Design – Top 3
(Constructed by Valerie)

These pictures don’t quite show the unique and intriguing silhouette of this sexy swimsuit, but this was mega-hot. It’s so rare to see a truly interesting swimsuit, and Andy gave us just that. Perfectly constructed and brilliantly designed, I had shockingly few complaints. First was the color of the cover-up, which came across much uglier on television than in these photos. Second was how long it took the model to untie that knot and reveal the swimsuit – designers, models should not spend the entire walk down the runway trying to undo a bow. Drama = fully clothed, then one pull of a string, then voila! Sex. The judges gave this some love, but it was my pick for the winner.

April’s Design – Winner
(Constructed by Christopher)

The top half of this is fierce, fabulous, and totally deserving of the win it received. I’m all about those funky straps, and I even like the zipper in back, though I will throw up if I see one more zipper on this runway. And though some bloggers and critics think the sheer material is too lingerie for resort wear, I think it’s just sexy and fabulous.

But that panty? Dear readers, I cannot support that panty. It’s just. So. Big. Everything sexy about the straps and sheerness is forgotten when we see the world’s giantest grandma panty. Maybe April was trying to lessen some of the sex appeal by making the shorts bigger, because she feared it would be downright slutty, but a panty that starts at your bellybutton is a friend to no one.

Casanova’s Design – Eliminated
(Constructed by Gretchen)

Ugly pants and a matronly top. Isn’t this what Casanova designed in every episode? It was not nearly as bad as Ivy’s design, but I understand why the judges eliminated dear Casanova for this – it’s like he hasn’t listened to a word the judges have said to him throughout this competition. But I didn’t think the biggest problem was how matronly it was – I thought the problem was that this is the furthest thing from resort wear that I could imagine. Nothing about those ugly office pants is resort, and that shirt could not look less relaxed – it’s physically restraining her arms from moving. Resort wear is about relaxing vacation wear, whether it’s swimsuits or evening wear, but whatever Casanova designed here, it was not resort.

Christopher’s Design
(Constructed by April)

The shorts looked like a funny length on TV, but I’m liking them better now. And I’d wear that shirt tomorrow. I’d have considered putting this in the top 3.

Gretchen’s Design
(Constructed by Casanova)

This is one of the ugliest garments I’ve ever seen. The model looks absolutely gigantic, from the sagging bustline to the giant tummy to whatever that ungodly bubble is protruding from her back, to that butt, which is so sadly hidden beneath miles of crap. I’d have put this in the bottom instead of Mondo’s look. At least Mondo’s was fun – this is just sad.

Ivy’s Design – Bottom 3
(Constructed by Michael D)

I’ve seen designers get eliminated in week one for pulling out trash like this. How is it possible that Ivy has not been eliminated yet? Seriously, look through her work on this show, and you’ll realize that a) she’s terrified of color, b) her construction skills are weak at best and c) NOTHING she makes is fashionable. NOTHING. Everything is shapeless or styleless or colorless or all three, like this sad, sad garment. I know Michael D can’t sew, but that’s not the biggest problem here – Ivy didn’t design anything. She may as well have pulled out a few yards of fabric, wrapped it around her model, stapled it together, and sent her out on the runway. This is unacceptable.

Michael C’s Design
(Constructed by Mondo)

Trashy. The boobs don’t fit, the belt is fugly, the print is tacky and WHAT IS WITH ALL THE GIANT PANTS. Who is telling all the designers this season to just construct giant fugly pants and zippers? I’ve had enough. Even though this would probably be worn by a Jersey Shore cast member in Miami, at least it’s identifiably resort wear. So it gets a pass.

Michael D’s Design – Top 3
(Constructed by Ivy)

Can someone remind me again why this was in the top? Because I hate basically everything about this. It’s like the mother to April’s outfit. It’s so heavy, it feels overworked, and it’s almost as far from resort wear as Casanova’s design. The fit is atrocious and the material looks cheap.

Mondo’s Design – Bottom 3
(Constructed by Michael C)

When this first hit the runway, I really enjoyed it. Because in a sea of blacks and neutral colors, somebody had the balls to throw some color and joy into resort wear. Is this too junior for any real woman to wear? Yes. But at least Mondo had fun with this challenge and took a risk, showing multiple pieces in multiple patterns and colors. No matter how tacky it is, that will always get my respect over something like Ivy or Michael D’s designs.

Valerie’s Design
(Constructed by Andy)

This was cute but forgettable, and deserved its spot in the middle of the pack. Again, those shorts are a bit on the ginormous side, so they’re not very flattering (it just looks like arrows pointing to her hoo-ha) but I love the cover-up dress/jacket. Even though it’s basically falling apart at the seams, I think it’s still pretty gorgeous from the back.

Check back later today for your weekly recap of all things celebrity fashion. And of course I’ll be keeping up with all the New York Fashion Week shows and working on some epic posts for you! Follow me on twitter @democracydiva for updates.

Project Runway Recap: S8 E6

This week’s episode of Project Runway was about as awful as last week’s was wonderful. A snoozefest of a challenge – reappropriating ugly-ass bridesmaids gowns for normal women. It led to the predictable drama of contestants being dumbfounded at the sight of a woman over 115 pounds and everyone cringing over the tacky-ass fabrics they had to use. Snore. And once again, the judges managed to piss off the entire blogosphere by giving another undeserving win. Let’s start the show.

ANDY

Design: I’m not saying it’s ugly or poorly made, because it’s not. But honestly, who besides a sex worker would actually wear this? I think the straps are gorgeous and the whole look is flashy and fierce, but there’s something so streetwalker about those chains and the skintight black seemingly-leather shorts. Also, really? ANOTHER butt zipper?

Execution: Pretty great, particularly on the top.

Styling: If Andy can tone down his stripper-chic style into something a little bit more accessible, he’ll really have something. Until then, I still like his new mohawk.

APRIL

Design: Another funky and youthful design that has April’s name written all over it. I’m a little bit concerned about how she really only designs things that she’d wear, but girl knows how to rock some blouse embellishments, and I like that. On TV, all the intricacies of the blouse really pop, and from the front, the dress is rouched nicely and fits her well. Loving the sleeve length, too.

Execution: From the back, this is clearly a bit too short, and the zipper points like a crooked arrow to her no-no zone. It looks much rougher in general from the back than from the front, which is problematic. But it’s a fine job overall.

Styling: LOVING the dramatic high pony and classic heels. They really make this girl look like a model.

CASANOVA

Design: I feel like socialites must have worn this to St. Tropez in 1984, and I don’t mean that as a compliment. The top is nice enough from the front, but the back just looks like a mistake. And blue satin skintight pedal-pushers? Are we serious?

Execution: Satin is an unforgiving fabric that shows every pucker and every mistake. Lucky Casanova got a “real girl” who looks like a model, or the judges might have noticed.

Styling: The hair looks stupid from the front, and those shoes should be a criminally punishable offense.

CHRISTOPHER

Design: This my choice for runner-up, as it’s one of the only garments on the runway that’s actually wearable. I mean, it doesn’t hurt for your “real woman” to drop out and Lifetime magically pulls out this glamazon for you to use, but Christopher did a hell of a job. I’d wear this dress tomorrow.

Execution: From the back, it looks shorter on one side than the other, or perhaps the hem isn’t straight, but it’s a minor offense. Very skilled handiwork overall.

Styling: Less is more. Simple shoes, a funky bracelet, and sex hair is all you need.

GRETCHEN

Design: I think the top and bottom are both great garments, but you’d have to be nuts to wear them together. The hand-painted shirt is exquisite; if it were a little longer in the front, I think any woman could rock that with a pair of skinny jeans. And the skirt is a dream. But it was a mistake to pair them with each other.

Execution: Everything looks just slightly unfinished – not sure if that’s intentional or not.

Styling: Gretchen needs to tear herself away from those tacky boots – she’s used them before, and they only make things uglier.

IVY

Design: Sorry, I just fell asleep looking at this picture. This is just so blah. Very housewife/country club. But shiny.

Execution: The top looks nice, but it’s all draping and no sewing. And once again, Ivy has proven that she can make a really ugly pair of pants.

Styling: The hair is Hillary Clinton meets Nancy Pelosi. Would you want to see that on a runway?

MICHAEL C

Design: Where do I begin? The length and cut of the sleeve is ugly. The pieces on the skirt look like they were added at the last minute and make the whole dress look sloppy. And I think it looks like a morbid 80s prom dress. AND THERE’S ANOTHER BUTT ZIPPER.

Execution: It’s about a mile too short, and nothing about this looks well-made.

Styling: That hair and makeup belongs in a burlesque show in rural Alabama.

MICHAEL D

Design: One day, there will be a designer on this show who can look at a larger woman and craft something beautiful instead of something insane. I’m holding out hope. I can’t say it any better than Michael did: She went from bridesmaid to bat mitzvah.

Execution: Where the lace meets the pink in the back of the dress – it’s a disaster area. And that black netting looks about as cheap as can be.

Styling: What the FUCK is that hair? (Cute shoes, though.)

MONDO

Design: An absolute winner in my heart, Mondo took a tacky disaster and turned it into this mod wonder. I would live in this dress. Unbelievably cute, great use of color-blocking, and totally body-conscious and flattering.

Execution: Nearly flawless.

Styling: I know everyone hated this Jersey Shore styling, but I stand by Mondo’s decision. I think that weird little man was inspired by this girl’s Jersey City roots (and her orange fake tan) and decided to run with it, Snookie-style. I love that she looks like she’s straight off the Seaside boardwalk.

PEACH

Design: Every mistake you can make was made here. The top is a disaster, and the green ruffles are absurd.

Execution: Everything looks homesewn.

Styling: Combat boots and stick-straight hair? I love the 90s just as much as the next girl, but come on.

VALERIE

Design: I love Valerie, but I judge her for not knowing how to design for a normal-sized woman. Because on a 5’10” size zero, this dress would have looked fucking awesome. But all the color-blocking just serves to point to different body parts in the least flattering of ways. And the back is flat-out tacky.

Execution: It’s just too tight, especially the straps in the back which look like they’re straining to rein her in. This woman should sue for defamation – her body is way better than this dress makes it seem.

Styling: The hair looks like a cheap wig, the purse doesn’t match, and black shoes would have been better.

Judge’s Top: Christopher, Mondo, Michael C (winner)
Diva’s Top: April, Christopher, Mondo (winner of my heart)

Judge’s Bottom: Valerie, Michael D, Peach (out)
Diva’s Bottom: Casanova, Michael D, Peach


Check back for more fashion and fabulous later this week! And don’t forget to follow your favorite diva on twitter @democracydiva!

Project Runway Recap: S8 E5

Drama, drama, drama! This week’s episode of Project Runway had more yelling, more tears, more bullshit, and more bitchery than ever before! I usually have no patience for such things, but instead of one stupid soundbite after another, people seemed to be genuinely going apeshit. So I loved every minute of it. But, unlike some bloggers, I’m not here to rant about how Gretchen’s a two-faced megalomaniac and her entire team was comprised of spineless jellyfish who gave up all their creativity and individuality to obey her every demand. I mean, it’s entirely true, but I don’t care. I’m here to talk about the clothes. So let’s start the show.

Keep in mind that Team Luxe (AJ, Andy, Christopher, Gretchen, Ivy, Michael C.) had multiple people working on the same look, so while everyone created something, no one except Ivy created every piece for any one look. Team Military & Lace (April, Casanova, Michael D., Mondo, Peach, Valerie) had each team member design their own individual look.

Team Luxe, Look 1 (AJ)

Design: A shiny shirtdress is rarely, if ever, a good idea. Didn’t someone already make a shiny shirtdress this season and get ripped for it? And didn’t someone make those horrible two-tone leggings last week and somehow get away with it? I just can’t support any of this. It’s just ugg.

Execution: AJ, whose design aesthetic is Heatherette meets Betsey Johnson (think cute cocktail dresses that are deconstructed and punk-ified), claimed that he was trying to prove to the judges that he could be tailored. Maybe that’s true, or maybe he got brainwashed by the Gretchen Regime, but either way, he did a terrible job. The way the shirt hangs in the back is awful. And who wants to wear a sad, droopy, wrinkly shirtdress? The point of something like a shirtdress is to be tailored, pressed, clean-cut and crisp. This is a disaster.

Styling: The neckerchief was a mistake. And, let’s just say it: neckerchiefs are ALWAYS¬† a mistake. That, paired with the barely-there makeup and sensible, boring hair, really does make her look like a flight attendant (a common problem on Team Luxe).

Team Luxe, Look 2 (Andy)

Design: Probably the best of Team Luxe’s collection (not that that’s saying much). Obviously it’s completely lacking in intrigue, sex appeal, modernism, and basically anything that would make any 21st century woman want to wear it, but it’s not as tragic as its sister looks. It’s just so depressing to realize that this was churned out by Andy, who is capable of so much more style and badassery than this look permits. The grandpa sweater is sort of so-ugly-it’s-cute, but it’s just head-to-toe blah.

Execution: Quite perfect, actually. Much better construction than that of his teammates.

Styling: Just as bad as Look 1.

Team Luxe, Look 3 (Christopher)

Design: Sometimes retro is a good thing, but sometimes the model ends up looking like someone right off the streets of 1974 instead of someone whose fashion is inspired by 1974. This, unfortunately, is a case of the former. Who on earth would want to wear those pants? And the proportions of the pants and the top are completely out-of-whack.

Execution: That crotch is funny. And I absolutely hate the back of the blouse.

Styling: Like a way uglier version of the original Charlie’s Angels.

Team Luxe, Look 4 (Michael C)

Design: Michael may have gotten thrown under the bus by his so-called teammates, but this is not nearly as bad as some of the whimpering idiots who claimed they had to babysit him during the process. Obviously it’s as boring as the rest of the collection, but at least it has a modicum of sex appeal and youth. It’s too little, too late, but it’s there.

Execution: Not sure if the hem at the back of the jacket is straight, but it’s decent work.

Styling: There’s just no sense to it. Nothing ties the top to the bottom.

Team Luxe, Look 5 (Ivy)

Design: Ivy was the only Team Luxe member who created the entire head-to-toe look, so she is fully responsible for the bag of garbage that is poisoning your eyeballs. The blouse is hilarious. And photo stills don’t quite do it justice, but when she walks, her boobs look absolutely ridiculous. No woman would want their tits to wiggle and wobble the way this poor model’s did. And the vest coat? Atrocious. Obvious from the beginning that it was going to be a disaster. The shorts are ugly, their proportion with the shirt is completely out of whack, and the leggings are just too much. AJ’s shirtdress was bad for sure, and perhaps he was more deserving of the auf-ing because he spend 100% of his time making one ugly piece, but this look was much worse.

Execution: Everything is shapeless, droopy, and sad. Perhaps that’s her intention? Fashion for the manic depressive?

Styling: I don’t have any new ways to say flight attendant/1970s/grandma, but throw them all in a blender and add a touch of “blind nun” and you’ll hit this look eventually.

Team Luxe, Look 6 (Gretchen)

Design: The shirt is sort of wearable. The back of the jacket is a mess and completely incongruous to the front. And I’m not sure why everything needs a zipper on the back of it, but I’m over that.

Execution: Amazing, considering Gretchen made EVERY SINGLE PIECE from EVERY SINGLE LOOK, right?! Ugh.

Styling: I’m getting nauseous from this.

Team Luxe overall: Awful. The judges were obviously right to put them in the bottom. And their comments were all true – it’s all matrony, the colors are terrible, and there’s a complete loss of individuality. It’s boring as hell, the proportions are completely unflattering, and letting Gretchen crack the whip was a mistake. I’m not surprised Gretchen manipulated the others into making her look go last, but who the hell decided the shirtdress should open their show? That was a rookie mistake.

The judges sent AJ home for his ill-fitting shirtdress, and that wasn’t a bad call. But Ivy keeps sneaking by even though everything she churns out is tasteless, boring, and poorly made. She won’t be around much longer.

But for those who thought Gretchen deserved to come home, or for those who felt the judges would send her home – sorry, kids. She may be a psychotic dictator with no soul, but she’s more talented than some of the chaff still left on the show, and more importantly (from the producers’ perspective), she’s good television. Expect to have her around for at least a few more episodes. Look at it this way – next week we get to see all the fallout as everyone from Team Luxe blames her for their problems! Who wouldn’t want to watch that?

Team Military & Lace, Look 1 (April)

Design: A huge step up from last week’s diaper – and the pants zip at the back, which is sort of a “fuck you” to the judges for hating on her zip-up panty. (I mean, the panty was awful, but I like April’s attitude.) And this vest is totally badass. I love the embellishments of gold metal and black lace – totally urban street-chic. And those funny little zippered embellishments on the bottom of the pants are a little out there, but definitely funky and cool.

Execution: I’m not sure if it’s a super-high pant, or she’s wearing something black under the shirt that tucks into the pants, but the height of the pant is a little strange for me. But that’s my only problem with the construction.

Styling: Finally, someone found a way to make Big-Eared Model look relatively normal! Very cool and flattering hairstyle. Purse and shoes are simple and perfect.

Team Military & Lace, Look 2 (Casanova)

Design: Casanova diva-ed out and lost his mind, but of course ended up winning the challenge with this fabulous look. It’s not my favorite of the collection, but “Most Improved” is worth a win, as far as I’m concerned. And this is a huge step forward from what we’ve seen from Casanova so far this season. That blouse is stunning, and the back in the blouse in particular made me squeal. The cap sleeve with the curve of the blouse is breathtaking. Sexy and youthful, but with a totally classic European vibe. And those pants are pretty damn killer.

Execution: I think the top of the pant is a little weak, which is why it’s covered by the blouse. But Casanova finally proved that he’s not all construction and no taste.

Styling: Digging the punk from the front, classy from the back hairstyle. The military-and-lace thing is really just a specific way of saying hard-meets-soft / gritty-meets-pretty, and this hairstyle falls right in line with that theme.

Team Military & Lace, Look 3 (Michael D)

Design: This absolutely, 100% deserved to win the challenge, but of course the producers wanted an underdog story, so Peach and Casanova had to come out on top. But for this Diva, nothing beat Michael D’s incredibly sexy lace dress. It feels like a combination of April’s look and Casanova’s look, which is exactly what a collection should achieve – cohesion, without boredom. And that back is beyond beautiful – it’s genius. Seriously. I didn’t have much of an opinion on Michael D before, but I’m officially a fan.

Execution: Flawless.

Styling: Great hair, great shoes.

Team Military & Lace, Look 4 (Mondo)

Design: This was androgynous, daring, a little weird, and incredibly stylish – just like Mondo! The vest-jacket thing is brilliant. I’m loving the little military details – the brass buttons, the ropes, the snaps atop the shoulders, they’re all adorable. And like a few of his teammates, Mondo understands the importance of DRAMA when the model turns around and you see how exquisite the back of the garment is. Sure, it’s not for everyone, but this is about as hipster-chic as it gets! And those shorts are so universal, any woman would rock them.

Execution: No complaints here.

Styling: I understand the idea behind the mustard yellow leggings, and if this were not a part of a collection, I’d excuse it. But I think it detracts from the cohesiveness of the collection way too much.

Team Military & Lace, Look 5 (Peach)

Design: One of Peach’s strongest, though this was totally overpraised. Casanova’s garment was a huge improvement over his past work, but it was also incredibly strong of its own accord. This garment is only fabulous in light of Peach’s past work – by itself, it’s nothing special. But someone between the ages of 16 and 50 would actually wear this dress! So that’s a victory. The top is very beautiful, but not quite as beautiful as some of the other lace blouses in the collection. And I can’t quite figure out how they chose that blue for the skirt. It’s very aged-denim looking, which isn’t particularly chic. But I like the military accents on the front, even if the buttons on the back were a mistake.

Execution: Pretty great from the front, considering Peach’s track record, but the back is a bit sloppy. The skirt does a weird pucker over the butt crack, and the lace on the blouse looks frayed in the middle.

Styling: God, I hate the hair and the shoes. But not so much that they actually detract from the look.

Team Military & Lace, Look 6 (Valerie)

Design: This was much better on TV than it is in close up, but I still love it. Again, I hate the blue they chose, and I don’t like the blouse underneath the jacket, and I think the leggings were totally superfluous. But I would KILL for that jacket and skirt. I’ve liked other garments better, but I’ve never wanted to personally own something on the show as much as this fucking awesome little jacket.

Execution: There’s something weird happening with that blue-and-black shirt. The construction there is a bit of a nightmare. But everything else looks nice.

Styling: Those shoes would be great without the leggings.

Team Military & Lace overall: Obviously deserving of the win. These six designers were the underdogs (zero challenge wins between them, while Team Luxe had 4), but they proved that all you need is communication and style to make something fucking great. The collection isn’t entirely cohesive – the first 3 pieces are a separate collection from the last 3, as far as I can see – but each individual look is very strong. And the styling is thoughtful and modern throughout most of the collection. But I’ll happily take a less cohesive collection with a lot of individual creativity and intrigue and style over a completely cohesive collection that’s boring as hell.

Thanks for reading, loves! And don’t forget to tune into the Democracy Diva Liveblog of the Emmys tomorrow night!

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