Project Runway S8 E8

This episode was, in the great words of Heidi Klum, a snooze-fest. Design an American sportswear look with the great Jackie O as the inspiration. Could’ve been great, except that most of the designers choked and came up with something boring and irrelevant to the challenge. And in response, the judges were so unreasonably mean that the show became uncomfortable to watch. Oh, well. Let’s start the show.

Andy – Bottom 3

Believe it or not, the worst thing about this look is not the way those pants ride up her ass. It’s that Andy deluded himself into thinking that Jackie Kennedy would actually wear this. The shirt is as nothing as nothing gets, the vest is boring and strangely proportioned, and those pants… Sigh. I might be able to forgive Andy for making a great pair of pants that Jackie would never wear, or an awful pair of pants that Jackie would wear, but this… this is inexcusable. You don’t get to fuck up on the inspiration AND the execution without hearing some truly heartbreaking jibes from Michael Kors. The judges were incredibly harsh this week, but after staring at these pants, I’m not sure I can blame them. But I agree with Nina – as horrible as these pants are, at least Andy is the type of designer who will surprise us. As far as I’m concerned, that’s reason enough for keeping him on the show.

April – Safe

Okay, I get it. Black is a thing. Some designers can get away with entire collections of nothing but black. But April, you’re not there yet. And this is like the eightieth black outfit you’ve made on this show. Step out of your comfort zone and into the world of technicolor, please.

That being said, the dress is cute. I like the two different black fabrics sewn together – it looks expensive and stylish. I can’t really tell what that thing over her shoulder is supposed to be, and I’m not quite sure what about this dress is Jackie O, but I think it’s nice all the same. But I’m still wondering if April can design for any customer except herself.

Christopher – Top 3

Gorgeous dress, fugly coat. The dress is soft and elegant, and I love that it’s a little bit Grecian, like Jackie in the Onassis years. But holy hell, it looks like she’s wearing road kill around her shoulders. It’s about as subtle as Lady Gaga’s meat dress.

Gretchen – Safe

Obviously Jackie Kennedy’s style spanned the decades, but the reason she is an icon is because of her classic 1960s style. That’s why they brought on January Jones, the star and fashion icon of a show set in the early 1960s, as the guest judge. So can someone tell me why Gretchen went hardcore 1970s for every part of this look? The tacky print and the looseness of the skirt, the revealing top, the oversized sweater, and that goddamn camel color she loves so much – it’s screaming disco, which is not what Jackie was about. It just makes me feel like Gretchen really can only do one aesthetic – modern takes on 1970s fashion in butt-ugly colors. I can’t support that style in general, but certainly not in a Jackie O challenge.

Ivy – Top 3

I liked the neckline of the white top, and I felt that overall, this look felt like Jackie O. But it lacks the elegance and glamour that she embodied – it’s like Ivy designed for the poor man’s First Lady instead of the real deal. And I think the back of that jacket is just a mess. But this is the first look Ivy’s designed all season that I didn’t absolutely hate. So, I guess that’s something.

Michael C – Safe

It’s not sportswear. And it’s not Jackie. It’s an evening gown with a denim trench. Michael C has more lives than a cat, but his time is coming, kittens. We’re getting down to the fun part of the season – where all the people on the show actually have talent. And while Michael C and Ivy may have been able to hold their own against AJ and Casanova, they simply lack the talent of designers like Mondo and April. They’ve both shown way more bad looks than good ones, and I’m dreaming of a double elimination in which Michael Kors just vomits all over their designs.

Michael D – Eliminated

Tom & Lorenzo called this a Monet – cute from afar, but a total mess when you get closer – and I think they’re absolutely right. Everything is reasonably cute, if a little cheap looking, from far away. But look closely – everything is actually kind of a mess. I don’t hate the jacket as much as the judges did, but there’s no excuse for those ill-fitting tank tops. My biggest pet peeve is when designers spend so much time and effort on one part of their look that they completely ignore another part of it. This problem was an epidemic in this challenge – it happened with Andy’s boring white shirt, it happened with Valerie’s black skirt, and it happened here, with those sad, droopy shirts. And while a modern tween might rock that skirt, Jackie Kennedy would not have done so.

Mondo – Winner

Do I even have to say anything, dear readers? THIS. IS. AMAZING. This is by far my favorite look of the season, and I’m pretty sure it’s in my top 5 best Project Runway designs of all time. The shock of purple as the lining of the coat was simply brilliant – it’s Mondo’s keen eye for detail that takes this look from great to incredible. That top is classic American sportswear in the best sense of the term. It fits so incredibly well, and it was a stroke of genius to take the cuffs of the sleeves and do them in vertical stripes instead of horizontal. And my faithful readers know by now that I’m obsessed with sleeves that hit right at the elbow – Mondo’s picking up on a great trend.

And that skirt. I could write a love sonnet in iambic pentameter about that skirt, but I’ll spare you. The print is stunning and it fits her like a dream. I believe Jackie Kennedy would actually have worn that exact garment, and I can’t say that for any other singular item on this runway.

Valerie – Bottom 3


I think the judges were unreasonably hard on Valerie this week. Yes, she was stupid to completely overlook the skirt and make something so basic and boring. But I see nothing wrong with the colors of the vest and jacket that the judges complained about. And did they really get on her case for making a jacket over a jacket when the challenge forced her to make outerwear even when she’d already made the jacket? That’s just unfair. Obviously she didn’t want to do two layers of outerwear, but she had no choice, and I think the vest was a smart idea. It kept her from getting too bulky. And while I agree that the collar is a little sad, I think the vest itself is pretty cute. I don’t know exactly where Jackie O fits into this outfit, but I’m glad we get to keep Valerie around a little longer. I know she’s got more to show us.

 

Up next on the blog: Your weekly fashion recap, focusing on who wore what to which fashion show! And of course, I’ll be working on the best and worst New York Fashion Week! Get all the updates on twitter @democracydiva!

The 2010 VMAs Red Carpet

Rihanna

Let’s study this from top to bottom.

  • I’m so over Rihanna’s Elmo hair, it’s not even funny.
  • Really? A hippie headband? Who is she, Mary-Kate Olsen in 2008?
  • What’s going on with her breasts? Pardon me, but she looks like her implants deflated. Invest in a push-up bra or a new plastic surgeon, honey.
  • What a pathetic attempt at a Madonna costume. One crucifix necklace, a bra-esque top and a big poofy skirt? Put a little more effort into your imitations.
  • I kind of like those boots. Because Rayanne Graff would have worn them.

Emma Stone in Pucci

Emma Stone, why so serious? You keep getting cast in movies, you are everyone’s go-to for the cute little alternative vixen. And your lisp is so precious, I can’t even handle it. So dress up! No reason to wrap your face in a frown and your body in a cheap bag of garbage. Wear something bright, feel good in it, and light up the red carpet like I know you can.

Kesha

And I thought Emma Stone’s dress looked too much like trash bags… now I can see that that was a subtle take on this trash-tastic ensemble. But what’s far worse than that dress is what I thought was a scarf and now can see it’s KESHA’S HAIR. That giant braid is longer than the bitch’s arm.

Ashley Greene in Giambattista Valli

Surprisingly cute, classy and formal, considering it’s the VMAs. The bodice is adorable, I like the draping on the skirt, but I think she could use a really blingin’ necklace. Cute bracelet and purse, though. And SMILE, BITCHES! It’s the VMAs. It’s not like any of these awards actually matter. Just have a good time.

Katy Perry in Marchesa

Katy Perry's nails

I’m not much of a Katy Perry fan, and I usually hate how she styles herself, but even I must admit that this is kind of adorable. It’s like the super-gay version of Ashely Greene’s dress.It’s more appropriate for an ice dancer than a red carpet, but it’s sexy and intriguing and costumey and fun. I hate the pink lipstick and the shoes are kind of immature, but I love the illusion of nudity and the way the skirt ways. And check out her fingernails – individual faces of her beau Russell Brand. Creepy, but if I was the woman who got Russell Brand to settle down, I’d show it off too.

Florence Welch in Givenchy Haute Couture

Oh my God, it’s Florence. She is a total powerhouse with a ridiculous voice – she’s a true artist, which is why she gave by far the best performance at the VMAs. It also didn’t hurt that she was basically the only performer who didn’t lip sync, and furthermore, she’s that rare performer who STILL SOUNDS FUCKING AWESOME when she’s singing live and running around the stage like a maniac. Her and Gaga are the only artists in recent VMAs memory to achieve such a thing.

I’ve known for months that Florence was a crazy-amazing musician, but until the VMAs, I didn’t know that she’s also a total fashionista. She’s wearing Givenchy haute couture and NAILING it, which is something that a fashion newbie just can’t do. It’s totally glam, but that zipper down the middle keeps it a little more casual and appropriate for the event. And that gold color against her jaw-droppingly red hair is perfect. And I love a redhead who’s not afraid to rock red lipstick. Perfect fit, adorable purse, and a long-sleeved formal gown is always interesting.

Lady Gaga in Alexander McQueen

Lady Gaga in Alexander McQueen

What on earth could be more dramatic than wearing head-to-toe McQueen from his final collection? Only a diva in the truest sense of the word can get away with that. She’s posing like she knows she’s winning Video of the Year – I mean, it’s not like anything can even compare to “Bad Romance” – and the fact that she can walk in those twelve inch – yes, TWELVE inch – heels is simply astounding. And honestly? It’s not that insane, for Gaga. It has an element of wearability that many of her outfits lack. I mean, she’s still wearing a mohawk made of feathers, but at least you can see her face.

Lady Gaga in Armani

It took her ten minutes to get on the stage in this, but from what I can see, it’s gorgeous and dramatic, like the Lady herself.

Lady Gaga in Franc Fernandez

And here is the infamous meat dress, which everyone found shocking because they didn’t see the meat outfit she wore on a magazine cover last week. And yes, friends, this is actually raw meat. I actually think the shoes and hat are awesome. The dress, well, just looks like meat. I know that’s the point, but it could have a little more design to it. (I say this having never tried to sew meat together before, so forgive me for my ignorance.) And there’s something so glamorous about raw meat accessorized with a shitload of diamonds. This is the extreme version of gritty-meets-pretty. Or gritty-meats-pretty, I suppose.

And whether you love or hate this, or it just makes you hungry or nauseous, you can’t deny that Gaga saying, “I never thought I’d be asking Cher to hold my meat purse!” is probably the funniest thing in VMAs history.

Project Runway recap will be up tomorrow! Check back later for that post and your weekly fashion recap.

The Week in Fashion

It’s New York Fashion Week! And although I’m not blogging about the collections quite yet, there’s still a lot of fabulous happening on the red carpet, in the front rows of the fashion shows, and in the magazines this week. So let’s get started!

Editorials: Divas in the News

Lea Michele in Magaschoni top & Michael Kors leggings for Glamour

I am fully in love with this picture. Glamour should have chosen it for the cover, but of course they went with one where she’s not wearing pants. Sigh. Regardless, there’s something so fabulously A Chorus Line about this outfit. Totally what you’d expect a Broadway star to be lounging around in on her day off. And the bangs, the eyes, the lips – she’s looking totally gorgeous.

Marc Jacobs and Lady Gaga in Louis Vuitton for V Magazine

Lady Gaga as the Statue of Liberty, half naked, in front of a shopping cart, with Marc Jacobs sitting on a television next to her. I can’t say I get it, but I certainly like it.

Lady Gaga for Vogue Hommes Japan

I am loving this cover. Perfect pose, perfect make-up, fabulous nails, and her smokin’ body is covered in raw meat. Gaga knows how to get people to pay attention, and this is a perfect example of that quality. And if anybody can rock a raw meat ensemble, it’s Lady Gaga. She makes it look like fashion.

The Venice Film Festival

Natalie Portman in custom Rodarte

I don’t like the hair and I probably wouldn’t have chosen white shoes, but everything else about this look is simply gorgeous. The dress is sexy as hell but not revealing; it feels like classic red carpet Hollywood but has all sorts of tricks and complexities to it. The straps and shoulders and the bodice are just stunning, and as usual, Natalie looks like an Israeli goddess.

Jessica Alba in Valentino

Why, Jessica? Why is your skirt so much longer in the back than in the front? Is this a white trash themed costume party and your dress is a coy reference to the mullet? There is just nothing attractive about a mullet skirt, honey.

Michelle Williams in Jason Wu

That right-to-the-elbow sleeve length keeps popping up and I’m fully obsessed with it. And although this is a blah color, Michelle is absolutely rocking this. I’m a little over the neck bow trend – Kate Beckinsale and Carey Mulligan wore them all over Cannes – but I still think this is just precious and classy and it still maintains Michelle’s hipster-chic aesthetic.

Michelle Williams

Perfection. I’d wear that dress in a heartbeat, and those shoes are killer. She could not be cuter.

Clemence Poesy in Louis Vuitton

Parisian chic at its best, our very own Fleur Delacour is rocking a look that always looks better on French girls. A silk shirt with a giant bow tucked into a blue skirt, plus sex hair and barely-there makeup? Simply beautiful.

Fashion Elite at New York Fashion Week

Diane Kruger in Chanel at the Chanel Boutique opening party

Oy. Well, at least the shoes are cute. The rest is just too much. Sloppy hair and all that fabric? Plus a belt over it? She looks like she’s in a slutty chicken suit.

Blake Lively in Chanel at the Chanel Boutique opening party

I’m pretty sure I’ve never before seen Blake in an outfit that didn’t expose her boobs and/or legs. So I respect the attempt to cover up, and the Mary Jane shoes are awesome, but this dress is beyond tacky. And blow dry your fucking hair before you go to a Chanel fashion week party. Show some respect.

Blake Lively in Marchesa at Fashion’s Night Out: The Show

Okay, you win. I’m obsessed with this. Showing a lot of leg and a bit of boob, like Lively always should. That print is beyond gorgeous, the bracelets are kickass, the shoes are fierce, and I like the makeup. I think she’s always absurdly lazy about her hair, which is why she’s rocking a pony, but at least it works.

Leighton Meester in Versus at Fashion’s Night Out: The Show

Well, this is fugly. Like, so fugly I wouldn’t even wear it as a Halloween costume. It’s glorified underwear, and worse than that, it just looks cheap and tacky. If you want to go out on the town half-naked, so be it, but your outfit still has to be chic and fabulous, and this is NOT.

Maggie Grace in Christian Siriano at his Spring 2011 fashion show

Another epic print and adorable silhouette by the lovely and talented Christian Siriano. (Although the blogosphere is saying his collection this week was underwhelming… but we’ll get to that in a few posts.) I love this dress because it’s effortless – it does all the work for Maggie. Just throw on heels and eyeliner and you’re ready to go.

Miscellaneous Fabulous and Fugly

 

Hello, teeny little waist! America Ferrera looks completely amazing in this dress. I’m obsessed with the sleeves and collar, the skinny belt is perfect, the length is super-flattering, and the accessories are simple and perfect. I think every professional woman should have this dress hanging in their closet.

Jessica Simpson in a design from her own denim collection

Jessica is modeling her own design, so there is no one to blame for this atrocity except for Jessica herself. I am getting physically ill at the sight of that cheap denim with the tacky gold zippers and buttons. This is denim at its worst.

 

Katrina Bowden in Theia

It’s pretty easy to always look great when you’re blonde and blue-eyed and approximately eleven pounds, like 30 Rock‘s Cerie. But Katrina keeps cropping up on best-dressed lists, and this dress proves she deserves it. Another adorable and unique print, which is always nice to see. She could use a necklace, bracelet, or purse – just something to make her look less naked. But this is a fabulous little number.

Kim Kardashian

Dear Kim:

What, what, what are you doing? Look at those leggings. Look at your choices.

Love,

The Democracy Diva

Lea Michele in Erdem

I’ve blogged about dresses nearly identical to this twice so far – Chloe Sevigny rocked one at the Met Gala, and Eva Mendes wore it in July 2010. So I’m a little bit over this, but I still think a long-sleeved cocktail dress is a wonderful thing. And even though it’s overdone, the color and print are beautiful. But can we please talk about Lea’s hair? This better be for Glee, because if Lea is actually choosing to wear those horribly distracting highlights/extensions, this may be the end of my love affair with her. (Just kidding. I’ll always love you, Lea.)

I’m working on your fashion week posts as we speak! Stay up-to-date by following me on twitter @democracydiva!

Project Runway Recap: S8 E7

This week’s challenge was to create a resort look. The catch? After the contestants designed their looks and went fabric shopping, they then had to partner up and construct their partner’s design. But the judging was conducted based on who designed the look, not who constructed it. Drama ensued: Ivy is neurotic, Michael D can’t sew, Valerie needs some love from the judges (or a Xanax), Casanova can’t speak English but has good vision, etc. But who gives a shit about anything except the clothes? Let’s start the show.

Andy’s Design – Top 3
(Constructed by Valerie)

These pictures don’t quite show the unique and intriguing silhouette of this sexy swimsuit, but this was mega-hot. It’s so rare to see a truly interesting swimsuit, and Andy gave us just that. Perfectly constructed and brilliantly designed, I had shockingly few complaints. First was the color of the cover-up, which came across much uglier on television than in these photos. Second was how long it took the model to untie that knot and reveal the swimsuit – designers, models should not spend the entire walk down the runway trying to undo a bow. Drama = fully clothed, then one pull of a string, then voila! Sex. The judges gave this some love, but it was my pick for the winner.

April’s Design – Winner
(Constructed by Christopher)

The top half of this is fierce, fabulous, and totally deserving of the win it received. I’m all about those funky straps, and I even like the zipper in back, though I will throw up if I see one more zipper on this runway. And though some bloggers and critics think the sheer material is too lingerie for resort wear, I think it’s just sexy and fabulous.

But that panty? Dear readers, I cannot support that panty. It’s just. So. Big. Everything sexy about the straps and sheerness is forgotten when we see the world’s giantest grandma panty. Maybe April was trying to lessen some of the sex appeal by making the shorts bigger, because she feared it would be downright slutty, but a panty that starts at your bellybutton is a friend to no one.

Casanova’s Design – Eliminated
(Constructed by Gretchen)

Ugly pants and a matronly top. Isn’t this what Casanova designed in every episode? It was not nearly as bad as Ivy’s design, but I understand why the judges eliminated dear Casanova for this – it’s like he hasn’t listened to a word the judges have said to him throughout this competition. But I didn’t think the biggest problem was how matronly it was – I thought the problem was that this is the furthest thing from resort wear that I could imagine. Nothing about those ugly office pants is resort, and that shirt could not look less relaxed – it’s physically restraining her arms from moving. Resort wear is about relaxing vacation wear, whether it’s swimsuits or evening wear, but whatever Casanova designed here, it was not resort.

Christopher’s Design
(Constructed by April)

The shorts looked like a funny length on TV, but I’m liking them better now. And I’d wear that shirt tomorrow. I’d have considered putting this in the top 3.

Gretchen’s Design
(Constructed by Casanova)

This is one of the ugliest garments I’ve ever seen. The model looks absolutely gigantic, from the sagging bustline to the giant tummy to whatever that ungodly bubble is protruding from her back, to that butt, which is so sadly hidden beneath miles of crap. I’d have put this in the bottom instead of Mondo’s look. At least Mondo’s was fun – this is just sad.

Ivy’s Design – Bottom 3
(Constructed by Michael D)

I’ve seen designers get eliminated in week one for pulling out trash like this. How is it possible that Ivy has not been eliminated yet? Seriously, look through her work on this show, and you’ll realize that a) she’s terrified of color, b) her construction skills are weak at best and c) NOTHING she makes is fashionable. NOTHING. Everything is shapeless or styleless or colorless or all three, like this sad, sad garment. I know Michael D can’t sew, but that’s not the biggest problem here – Ivy didn’t design anything. She may as well have pulled out a few yards of fabric, wrapped it around her model, stapled it together, and sent her out on the runway. This is unacceptable.

Michael C’s Design
(Constructed by Mondo)

Trashy. The boobs don’t fit, the belt is fugly, the print is tacky and WHAT IS WITH ALL THE GIANT PANTS. Who is telling all the designers this season to just construct giant fugly pants and zippers? I’ve had enough. Even though this would probably be worn by a Jersey Shore cast member in Miami, at least it’s identifiably resort wear. So it gets a pass.

Michael D’s Design – Top 3
(Constructed by Ivy)

Can someone remind me again why this was in the top? Because I hate basically everything about this. It’s like the mother to April’s outfit. It’s so heavy, it feels overworked, and it’s almost as far from resort wear as Casanova’s design. The fit is atrocious and the material looks cheap.

Mondo’s Design – Bottom 3
(Constructed by Michael C)

When this first hit the runway, I really enjoyed it. Because in a sea of blacks and neutral colors, somebody had the balls to throw some color and joy into resort wear. Is this too junior for any real woman to wear? Yes. But at least Mondo had fun with this challenge and took a risk, showing multiple pieces in multiple patterns and colors. No matter how tacky it is, that will always get my respect over something like Ivy or Michael D’s designs.

Valerie’s Design
(Constructed by Andy)

This was cute but forgettable, and deserved its spot in the middle of the pack. Again, those shorts are a bit on the ginormous side, so they’re not very flattering (it just looks like arrows pointing to her hoo-ha) but I love the cover-up dress/jacket. Even though it’s basically falling apart at the seams, I think it’s still pretty gorgeous from the back.

Check back later today for your weekly recap of all things celebrity fashion. And of course I’ll be keeping up with all the New York Fashion Week shows and working on some epic posts for you! Follow me on twitter @democracydiva for updates.

Project Runway Recap: S8 E6

This week’s episode of Project Runway was about as awful as last week’s was wonderful. A snoozefest of a challenge – reappropriating ugly-ass bridesmaids gowns for normal women. It led to the predictable drama of contestants being dumbfounded at the sight of a woman over 115 pounds and everyone cringing over the tacky-ass fabrics they had to use. Snore. And once again, the judges managed to piss off the entire blogosphere by giving another undeserving win. Let’s start the show.

ANDY

Design: I’m not saying it’s ugly or poorly made, because it’s not. But honestly, who besides a sex worker would actually wear this? I think the straps are gorgeous and the whole look is flashy and fierce, but there’s something so streetwalker about those chains and the skintight black seemingly-leather shorts. Also, really? ANOTHER butt zipper?

Execution: Pretty great, particularly on the top.

Styling: If Andy can tone down his stripper-chic style into something a little bit more accessible, he’ll really have something. Until then, I still like his new mohawk.

APRIL

Design: Another funky and youthful design that has April’s name written all over it. I’m a little bit concerned about how she really only designs things that she’d wear, but girl knows how to rock some blouse embellishments, and I like that. On TV, all the intricacies of the blouse really pop, and from the front, the dress is rouched nicely and fits her well. Loving the sleeve length, too.

Execution: From the back, this is clearly a bit too short, and the zipper points like a crooked arrow to her no-no zone. It looks much rougher in general from the back than from the front, which is problematic. But it’s a fine job overall.

Styling: LOVING the dramatic high pony and classic heels. They really make this girl look like a model.

CASANOVA

Design: I feel like socialites must have worn this to St. Tropez in 1984, and I don’t mean that as a compliment. The top is nice enough from the front, but the back just looks like a mistake. And blue satin skintight pedal-pushers? Are we serious?

Execution: Satin is an unforgiving fabric that shows every pucker and every mistake. Lucky Casanova got a “real girl” who looks like a model, or the judges might have noticed.

Styling: The hair looks stupid from the front, and those shoes should be a criminally punishable offense.

CHRISTOPHER

Design: This my choice for runner-up, as it’s one of the only garments on the runway that’s actually wearable. I mean, it doesn’t hurt for your “real woman” to drop out and Lifetime magically pulls out this glamazon for you to use, but Christopher did a hell of a job. I’d wear this dress tomorrow.

Execution: From the back, it looks shorter on one side than the other, or perhaps the hem isn’t straight, but it’s a minor offense. Very skilled handiwork overall.

Styling: Less is more. Simple shoes, a funky bracelet, and sex hair is all you need.

GRETCHEN

Design: I think the top and bottom are both great garments, but you’d have to be nuts to wear them together. The hand-painted shirt is exquisite; if it were a little longer in the front, I think any woman could rock that with a pair of skinny jeans. And the skirt is a dream. But it was a mistake to pair them with each other.

Execution: Everything looks just slightly unfinished – not sure if that’s intentional or not.

Styling: Gretchen needs to tear herself away from those tacky boots – she’s used them before, and they only make things uglier.

IVY

Design: Sorry, I just fell asleep looking at this picture. This is just so blah. Very housewife/country club. But shiny.

Execution: The top looks nice, but it’s all draping and no sewing. And once again, Ivy has proven that she can make a really ugly pair of pants.

Styling: The hair is Hillary Clinton meets Nancy Pelosi. Would you want to see that on a runway?

MICHAEL C

Design: Where do I begin? The length and cut of the sleeve is ugly. The pieces on the skirt look like they were added at the last minute and make the whole dress look sloppy. And I think it looks like a morbid 80s prom dress. AND THERE’S ANOTHER BUTT ZIPPER.

Execution: It’s about a mile too short, and nothing about this looks well-made.

Styling: That hair and makeup belongs in a burlesque show in rural Alabama.

MICHAEL D

Design: One day, there will be a designer on this show who can look at a larger woman and craft something beautiful instead of something insane. I’m holding out hope. I can’t say it any better than Michael did: She went from bridesmaid to bat mitzvah.

Execution: Where the lace meets the pink in the back of the dress – it’s a disaster area. And that black netting looks about as cheap as can be.

Styling: What the FUCK is that hair? (Cute shoes, though.)

MONDO

Design: An absolute winner in my heart, Mondo took a tacky disaster and turned it into this mod wonder. I would live in this dress. Unbelievably cute, great use of color-blocking, and totally body-conscious and flattering.

Execution: Nearly flawless.

Styling: I know everyone hated this Jersey Shore styling, but I stand by Mondo’s decision. I think that weird little man was inspired by this girl’s Jersey City roots (and her orange fake tan) and decided to run with it, Snookie-style. I love that she looks like she’s straight off the Seaside boardwalk.

PEACH

Design: Every mistake you can make was made here. The top is a disaster, and the green ruffles are absurd.

Execution: Everything looks homesewn.

Styling: Combat boots and stick-straight hair? I love the 90s just as much as the next girl, but come on.

VALERIE

Design: I love Valerie, but I judge her for not knowing how to design for a normal-sized woman. Because on a 5’10” size zero, this dress would have looked fucking awesome. But all the color-blocking just serves to point to different body parts in the least flattering of ways. And the back is flat-out tacky.

Execution: It’s just too tight, especially the straps in the back which look like they’re straining to rein her in. This woman should sue for defamation – her body is way better than this dress makes it seem.

Styling: The hair looks like a cheap wig, the purse doesn’t match, and black shoes would have been better.

Judge’s Top: Christopher, Mondo, Michael C (winner)
Diva’s Top: April, Christopher, Mondo (winner of my heart)

Judge’s Bottom: Valerie, Michael D, Peach (out)
Diva’s Bottom: Casanova, Michael D, Peach


Check back for more fashion and fabulous later this week! And don’t forget to follow your favorite diva on twitter @democracydiva!

The Week in Fashion

Best Reason to Love American Boys

 

Nothing’s cuter than a well-dressed nerd with an adorable dog – except when said nerd and dog are wearing Ray Bans! For wealthy girls looking for gifts for hipster boys, the rain jacket is by Gant Rugger; cardigan and shirt are by J. Crew; the gorgeous pants are by Band of Outsiders; and the shoes are of course Ferragamo.

Best Reason to Love European Men

The glasses, the jeans, the shoes, the blazers – all unique, all gorgeous, all classically European and gorgeous.

Over The Hills

 

A word to the wise – Betty White from the waist up and Paris Hilton from the waist down is not a look that works on anybody. A frumpy, matronly jacket with a miniskirt? And the only people who still style their hair and makeup like that are the wives of relatively unsuccessful Southern politicians.

Cutest Casual Wear

 

Bilson looks this good just running her goddamn ERRANDS. The top is perfect – that color is so summery and fabulous, and the little bitty hint of black bra peeking out is totally sexy. The shorts are the perfect length; she just looks perfectly petite, funky, and chic.

Worst of the Week

 

 

When you’re dressed for a Mormon compound, shouldn’t you wear pants?

Most Surprisingly Classy

Katy Perry

Katy, is that you? I’ve never seen you in anything that actually resembled clothing, let alone beautiful clothing. This dress is gorgeous, perfect for traipsing around Paris (where this photo was taken), and those heels are a shoe fanatic’s wet dream. Love the little belt cinching her waist, and loving the hints of crazy colors in her hair to remind you that she’s still a loony pop star.

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