The Week in Celebrity Fashion

Gossip Girls On and Off the Set

Serena Van Der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf in Tibi

Readers, if you ever feel the need to lavish me with gifts, I’d like one of everything you see above. I wear a size six shoe. That is all.

Serena Van Der Woodsen in Zuhair Murad

Leave it to the Gossip Girl team to put Serena in a long-sleeved full length gown that STILL reveals every inch of flesh possible. But I still think it’s a gorgeous dress. And I love that it’s so much more naked than it seems at first glance. Like, surprise! You didn’t think you’d see my hoo-hah, but here it is!

Blake Lively in an Elie Saab dress and Christian Louboutin shoes

I love how similar this dress feels to the one before it, even though they’re actually quite different. The sleeves are gorgeous, and that lace slip is just too hot for words. Not as revealing, but just as sexy, because Blake has a killer set of stems. (Her tits go without saying.) Great shoes, and I’ll even forgive the dark toe nail polish because they match her nails and the general dark princess vibe of the overall look. But the sloppy braid looks lazy.

Divas Abroad

Dita Von Teese and John Galliano at his Spring 2011 show in Paris

There’s just no other word for it: Dita Von Teese is the definition of FIERCE. That suit is vintage perfection, and the pairing of those gloves and shoes was a brilliant move. And check out the shoes on Galliano! Totally badass.

Jon Hamm and Elisabeth Moss in Hervé Léger by Max Azria

I can’t sum up how Jon Hamm looks better than TLo, who really said it all:

JON: I’m hung! Have you noticed?

I know my parents read my blog and all (hi, mommy and daddy!) but… I still think we need to talk about Jon Hamm’s dick in that suit. Or at least acknowledge the fact that it is taking over this photograph.

Katy Perry at a T-Mobile event in Budapest, Hungary

It’s the age-old rule: Dress a size bigger and you’ll look a size smaller. Katy Perry breaks this rule on a daily basis. I also hate the hair, the makeup, the jewelry, and the dress itself.

Selena Gomez at a jewelry launch in London

Remember Barbie’s little sister Skipper? The tween version of Barbie? I’m pretty sure this is what she’d wear if she lived in Hollywood and started doing cocaine. Oddly enough, I don’t really mean that as an insult. I think Selena looks kind of awesome here. I know I should hate those pants, but they’re pretty badass. But since she’s Selena Gomez, she looks like a little doll version of badass girl. Which is sort of precious.

Rachel Bilson at Bulgari’s party during Milan Fashion Week

It’s all about the sassy pose, the devil-may-care attitude, and those killer shoes. And I can’t even handle that “I dare you to fall in love with me” look in her eyes. Ugh, my girl crush on her is SERIOUS.

Rachel Bilson at the Christian Dior Spring 2011 show in Paris

The dress? Delicious in color, fit and style. The blazer? Stunning, and it was a great move to pair the two garments together. The shoes? I want them so badly, I may fly over to Paris and pry those off Rachel’s feet myself.

And can we just talk about how great her posture is in both photos? Rachel, your mama taught you well.

Models in Cavalli

Heidi Klum in Roberto Cavalli at the Milan Fashion Week amfAR gala

I hate the hair – Heidi is perfect-looking, but her face does not go well with that 1920s finger curl. But that gown is gorgeous, and like nearly everything Heidi wears, it’s shiny and it makes her boobs look perky as can be.

Heidi Klum in Roberto Cavalli at Paris Fashion Week

The hair is better, but you know I’m not a fan of those droopy silhouettes. And I know Cavalli designed both, so it makes sense that they look similar, but I don’t know why a supermodel would wear two such similar dresses to fashion events in consecutive weeks.

Tyra Banks in Roberto Cavalli at French Vogue’s masquerade ball in Paris

Different model turned fashion TV show host, same designer. The gown is way too long, but it’s nice enough. And I bet you’re thinking, how has she gone three sentences without commenting on THAT THING ON TYRA’S FACE? Seriously, I get that it’s a masquerade ball, but she looks ridiculous. And not in the look-how-avant-garde-I-am, Lady Gaga sort of way.

Tyra Banks in Robert Cavalli during Paris Fashion Week

And here, still in Cavalli, she looks ridiculous in a totally different, leopard print jumpsuit sort of way.

Ladies in the States

Kristin Davis in a Prada dress and Manolo Blahnik shoes in Los Angeles

Sad and drab. Charlotte deserves better!

Beyonce in Andrew Gn at a charity ball in New York City

Jesus. She looks like Mariah Carey in 1991. And that is certainly not a compliment. The dress looks identical to the 80s prom dress I bought for twenty bucks at a vintage store. I love my dress, but I’m not wearing it to a charity ball! The barely-there makeup is not a look that suits Beyonce, the hair looks sort of fake, and the dress emphasizes B’s tummy in a really unflattering way.

Katie Holmes in Louis Vuitton at a luncheon in Beverly Hills

This would look way better on Suri than it does on Katie.

Whitney Port at the launch of the Ebay Fashion Lookbook in Los Angeles

Evening makeup at a daytime event? Why?
My Bubbie (that’s ‘grandmother’ for those of you unfamiliar with Yiddish) could rock that sweater way harder, and she’s 87.
That awful blue colored denim, most popular circa 1997? On jeans that are peg-legged, knobbly-kneed, and wide through the hips? Once again, WHY?
Is that blue glitter toenail polish? I AM JUDGING YOU.

Kate Beckinsale at a screening of Nowhere Boy in Hollywood

Kate always looks stunning with a touch of bland, doesn’t she? Beautiful woman, great style, but she’s just so forgettable. I do think she’s a bit old for black nail and (ugh) toenail polish, and the dress also feels like she’s trying too hard to be younger, but she’s still got the flawless skin to pull it off. For now.

Lady Gaga performing with Yoko Ono in Los Angeles

If Lady Gaga, Cher, and Britney Spears in “Toxic” had a super-diva lovechild, this is what it would wear. This is phenomenal. Also, I wonder if Gaga has a personal trainer just for her ass. Or perhaps it has its own armed security guard. Because that thing is a work of art.

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Need more fashion? Of course you do! Check out my coverage of New York Fashion Week, plus the best of Milan and London! For more updates, follow me on twitter @democracydiva.

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Project Runway Recap: S8 E10

What an episode! I was prepared for this week’s challenge to be dramatic and feelingsy, but it was truly emotional and even inspirational. You’ve just got to watch it for yourself to understand how moving it was, but Mondo has transformed from a quirky but talented tap-dancing designer to an honest and brave soul who knows how to find inspiration in life’s blessings and curses. The best part? Unlike most Project Runway drama, this didn’t feel scripted or over-produced. It just felt raw and real.

But enough about the feelings – we’re here to talk about the designs. This week, Project Runway brought back a terrific challenge from last season, giving the designers the opportunity to create their own prints. No twists and turns – just prints (and feelings). So let’s start the show!

Andy – Bottom 4

This late in the game, there’s no excuses. I don’t care if you’re distracted by your family or your feelings or your personal life – you can’t just give up on a challenge the way Andy did yesterday. Andy hasn’t always made the best choices in this competition, but until this challenge, he stayed true to himself. You could feel Andy’s spirit in every design. But this outfit lacked the vision that makes Andy unique. And Nina was right – this, like too many other garments on the runway this season, is clothes, not fashion.

Andy is at a disadvantage because of his truly awful model, but that’s also no excuse. That mullet blouse was uninspired and unflattering, that vest is disgusting, and those shorts make her look thick-thighed and not at all fashionable. And the print? Sad, boring, and unoriginal. I wouldn’t have eliminated Andy simply because of the strength of his prior work, but if I were basing my decision solely on this challenge, Andy would have been the sure loser.

April – Top 3

Another dark, sexy and intriguing look from April, who I love more and more every week. I like that she’s rough around the edges, with her gloom-and-doom aesthetic and general badass attitude, but she is clearly a gentle soul with a good heart underneath it all. This print, based on her parents’ divorce when she was 13, was stunning. The tree going up the model’s arm is beautiful and very unique, and her incorporation of the print into the design was rather brilliant. I love the silhouette and the styling, and I respect April for being the only designer besides Mondo to create real fashion for this challenge. She was my choice for the runner-up.

Christopher – Bottom 4

Christopher’s designs get more boring every week, and this garment is living proof. The print looked pretty cheap on the runway, but it’s even worse in close-up. It lacks emotion and personality and just looks incredibly amateurish. It’s my least favorite print of the group. I keep being stunned that Christopher is sneaking through when the judges admitted that there’s nothing memorable in his portfolio from this show. I’m still hoping he’ll turn it around and churn out something awe-inspiring, but if he’s planning on pulling out all the stops, I hope it does it soon.

Gretchen – Top 3

I hate the colors. I hate the print. I hate the cut of the shirt. I hate the ruffly collar. I hate the butt-flap on the pants. I have HAD it with Gretchen’s “disco-earthy” (aka “dated-matronly”) aesthetic, her over-confidence, and the judges’ refusal to critically view anything she designs. Nina gave her a “you can do better” speech, but it was more of a “you’re so amazing that we know you can do better” speech rather than a “step up your lousy fucking game” speech. And which one of the crack-smoking judges said that Gretchen is by far the best stylist of the group? That’s the furthest thing from the truth. Mondo is clearly the best stylist, with April riding close behind him. Gretchen has some strengths, but I really don’t think styling is one of them.

Michael C – Bottom 4

Oh, lord. Is Michael C still in the competition? I wrote him off so many weeks ago, I get frustrated just having to look at his face. This print is almost as bad as Christopher’s, and this design was downright ridiculous. As always, the styling is as dated and tacky as can be. So even though we still don’t actually know who Michael is as a designer, because everything he makes is completely derivative and lacking in any sort of originality, HE’S STILL HERE. Because although he’s never the best and usually pretty terrible, he’s also never the worst.

Mondo – Winner!

Incredibly moving inspiration aside, this look was the clear winner. I’m happy the judges said what they did about this outfit before Mondo told them his story, proving that they loved it as fashion AND as a message. Nina and I made the same moaning noise when the model took off the jacket, revealing that fabulous polka-dotted lining. The blouse is draped perfectly, and those pants are simply fantastic. Yes, they’re crazily high-waisted, but they look incredible and fit like a glove. Mondo truly is a master at the art of mixed prints, and he is deserving of his third win in a row.

Valerie – Eliminated

This was far from the worst of the week, but copying your own design from earlier in the season in such a half-assed way is definitely a dealbreaker. Valerie deserved the auf-ing just for thinking she could get away with such shenanigans. Valerie was sweet and talented, but she let the pressure of the competition get to her too early on, and she lost her way. (This is the direction Andy is headed if he doesn’t get his head together.) I don’t think the print was as bad as the judges thought it was, but it certainly wasn’t my favorite. I feel that this garment is over-worked, over-designed, under-edited, and far too stiff and unforgiving. Other than that, I didn’t mind it, but sweet Val got what was coming to her after several consecutive weeks of unimpressive looks.

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Need more fashion? Of course you do! Check out my coverage of New York Fashion Week, plus the best looks from Milan Fashion Week and London Fashion Week! For more updates, follow me on twitter @democracydiva.

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Milan Fashion Week’s Best Looks

Three fashion weeks down, one to go! Here’s the hottest looks Milan Fashion Week had to offer. Next stop, Paris!

5. Glammed-Up Classics

Moschino Spring 2011

The dress is simple, chic, and utter perfection. And although this look clearly has never heard Coco Chanel’s advice about taking off one accessory before you leave the house, this is as glamorous as simplicity gets. The beauty of this dress is its versatility – you could see a hipster-starlet like Carey Mulligan rocking it with no jewelry and a pixie cut, but this model is styled like the richest lady at the rodeo and she is still nailing it.

4. Can’t Get Enough of Coats

Salvatore Ferragamo Spring 2011

I love the color – it’s like the love child of mustard yellow and olive green. And don’t we all need a good full-length trench to match our swimsuits? I know I do. Seriously, though, this coat is heavenly. Very rainy London afternoon (not that I’d ever dream of getting this coat wet).

3. Back to Basics

Versace Spring 2011

This is the perfect combination of retro and futuristic. We’ve still got a minimalist mod vibe (loving the buttons), but those straps modernize the look. And the shoes? I haven’t seen something so alien-chic since Alexander McQueen’s Spring 2010 collection. It’s amazing how Versace can provide such a strong point of view with such simple elements.

2. The Female Tux

Francesco Scognamiglio Spring 2011

I want to see the celebrity who can rock this sexy cream tuxedo at a red carpet event. Totally luxe, totally chic, and you’ll be sure to stand out in a sea of glittery cocktail dresses and shimmering gowns.

1. Grandma Chic Done Right

Dolce & Gabbana Spring 2011

Half the fabric is my grandmother’s tablecloth; the other half is the upholstery on her couch. Yet somehow these two old lady fabrics combine into one sexy and breathtaking dress. The collection was filled with white lace vintage undergarment-inspired looks, with splashes of black lace, leopard print, and fabulous flowery prints thrown in for a little more sex appeal and intrigue. Most of the looks were closer to lingerie than wearable garments, but this dress bridged the gap. Romantic, sexy, and above all, luxurious.

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If you liked Milan Fashion Week, you’ll love my coverage of New York Fashion Week and London Fashion Week!

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The Week in Celebrity Fashion

A quick break from the Spring 2011 collections to pop in on our favorite celebs and see who wore what this week.

The Front Rows

Kylie Minogue at the Dolce & Gabbana Spring 2011 show in Milan

You don’t even need to see the full dress to know how fucking good Ms. Minogue looks. The color and texture of that dress are astounding. The Louboutin shoes are killer, her legs look beautiful, and she’s basically glowing. Women half her age could only pray to look so good.

Cat Deeley at the Burberry Prorsum Spring 2011 show in London

Another gorgeous Burberry military jacket? Yes, please! Cat looks totally anglo-chic in her fierce coat, skinny jeans, and boots. Casual enough so she doesn’t look like she’s trying too hard, but effortlessly fashionable at the same time.

Taylor Swift at the Roberto Cavalli Spring 2011 show in Milan

My jaw dropped when I saw this photo. I could never imagine that T-Swift could look so fashionable. Don’t get me wrong, she always looks cute enough, but she’s all about the boring, red carpet-friendly white Grecian gowns, flashy red frocks, and glittery cocktail dresses. She usually dresses the way you’d expect a country-pop tween star to dress. But this is so many things I’ve never seen Taylor be before: urban, fashion-forward, and mature. The blouse and skirt as individual items are only okay, but paired together with that styling, they look totally hip. The textured stockings are beyond gorgeous, and I’d skin a puppy for those boots. The eyeliner is encroaching on Taylor Momsen territory, but the hair is gorgeous. Swifty, your new stylist deserves a bonus!

Rachel Bilson at the Roberto Cavalli Spring 2011 show in Milan

Well, there you go. From head to toe, that’s exactly what I’d like to wear for the rest of my life.

Fugliest Divas

Lea Michele in Jose Duran at the PETA Gala

Well, you can’t win them all. Those triangle boob-toppers are downright awful, as is the puckering on every single seam on this dress. The hem is a disaster, and the stiff fabric looks like it sort of just collapsed on the floor. The cut is unflattering, the dress itself is boring, and LEA! HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING FROM READING MY BLOG? Don’t you know by now NOT TO WEAR DARK TOE NAIL POLISH ON THE RED CARPET?!

Christina Aguilera in Versace at the LACMA Awards

Can someone please tell me when Christina Aguilera turned into the drag version of Christina Aguilera? She’s like a caricature of herself, if that caricature taped his dick back while booty-dropping to “Dirrty” in a seedy gay club.

Best Dressed Nobody

Odette Yustman in J. Mendel at the You Again premiere

This biddie is starring in You Again, which in spite of having Betty White, Kristin Chenoweth and Cloris Leachman in it looks like it may be the worst move of all time. But HELLO, GORGEOUS! Even though it’s basically a carbon copy of the Jason Wu gown Diane Kruger wore to the SAG Awards, it’s still a refreshing look, particularly for a Hollywood noob.

Worst Dressed of the Week

Julianne Moore at the Iconoclasts season five premiere

I have so many questions. Are the pants dirty, or are they supposed to have smudges of white dust all over them? Who wears above-the-ankle strappy shoes with pants that almost reach them? Why are there so many buckles on those pants? What purpose could that possibly serve? Is she wearing a blazer with no shirt underneath? What unfortunate color are her toenails painted? Why do her feet look misshapen, pink, and angry? And why does she seem to have aged fifteen years in the last six months?

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Stay informed on all things fabulous! Don’t miss my coverage of New York Fashion Week, London Fashion Week, and Milan Fashion Week!

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The Best of London Fashion Week

Time to unleash your innermost Anglophilia! Let’s talk about the hottest looks on the runway at London Fashion Week.

5. Suit Up

Vivienne Westwood Red Label Spring 2011

Vivienne Westwood is one of the main reasons that I love British fashion. She’s quirky and original, and this look embodies that. The suit itself is fantastic, from the slightly cock-eyed skirt to the supremely fabulous matching hat. Throw on some red lipstick and a few splotches of blue paint, and you’ve got yourself a look!

4. Joan Meets Betty

Paul Costelloe Spring 2011

The New York runways were all about the 1970s, but overseas, the 1960s were the trendy decade of choice. Perhaps Mad Men, the upcoming Jackie O biopic, and other 1960s nostalgia are bringing the era back, but regardless of who is to blame, this dress has Betty Draper meets Joan Holloway all over it. The soft, sweet colors and the way it flares out at the waist remind me of the iconic little housewife (played by January Jones), but the neckline, bodice, and simple sex appeal feel more like the ferocious redhead Joan (Christina Hendricks). But whoever this dress is, it’s certainly gorgeous (and miles shorter than either character would dream of wearing).

3. The Little Grey Dress

My definition of a new classic: You never knew it until you saw it, but you’ve been wanting it your entire life. That’s exactly how I feel about this dress. It feels so fresh and modern, and yet it belongs in every woman’s closet. It’s amazing that such a simple dress in such subdued colors can be such a showstopper.

2. The Truly Perfect Military Coat

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I have a thing for coats. Seriously. Ladies, you can have your shoes and purses and belts – just give me trenches, peacoats, waistcoats, tuxedo jackets, blazers, and the like. And very few designers make a better coat than Burberry. This coat-dress is beyond perfection. I love the military design elements – the olive green color, the double-breasted cut, the big buttons, the wide shoulders – and it’s perfectly accessorized for the runway. The slim fit from the waist and in the long sleeves sexes up the otherwise masculine details. Perfect from collar to hem.

1. From Modern to Mod

Paul Smith Spring 2011

Project Runway just did a challenge on what the modern Jackie Kennedy would wear, but I think Paul Smith hit the nail on the head better than any of those designers. The silhouette is classic as can be – perfect simplicity. The flowery print is vintage-looking, as are the white polka dots, but together they create something modern and stunning. And like the Burberry coat, this look is also completed by a skinny yellow double-wrapped belt, which gives it a funky, downtown pop. I’ll take the shoes as well.

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Haven’t had your fashion fill yet? Don’t miss my coverage of New York Fashion Week and Milan Fashion Week! And get all the updates on twitter @democracydiva.

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Project Runway S8 E9

Okay, who else is ready for the “Shocking Twist: MAKE MORE STUFF! WITH NO EXTRA TIME!” gimmick to be up? I understand the contestants need to be challenged, but if you expect someone to make a high fashion gown, at least give them more than a day to make it. It’s not about being kinder to the designers – it’s the simple fact that everything on the runway looks like shit when the designers run out of time. Throwing a ready-to-wear look on top of the challenge just decreased the quality of every garment.

And is it just me, or is a total oxymoron to instruct the designers to create a high-fashion couture look… to advertise an $8 eyeshadow? I get that the winner’s $20,000 needs to come from somewhere, but please. Don’t pretend something in a L’Oreal commercial is going to be Parisian couture. It’s an insult to your viewers.

Alright, I’ll shut up. Let’s start the show.

Andy – Top 3

Couture:

I absolutely loved this when it first went down the runway, but the more I look at it, the less impressed I actually am. I still love the fact that Andy made pants, and more importantly, pants that fit well. Christian Siriano is basically the only other designer in the show’s history who can actually construct a pair of pants. At first I appreciated how over-the-top it was, but viewed in photos instead of on TV, it’s basically a bunch of fan-like objects placed on top of an ordinary black suit. And that feels like a bit of a cop-out to me. But Andy has stood by his point of view week after week, which I respect. And in the hot mess on that runway, his stuck out as one of the few with any creativity whatsoever. He’d still have made the top 3 in my judging, but only because everybody sucked this week.

Ready To Wear (RTW):

Sexy, simple, and relatively well-made, considering the constraints he was under. It feels a little Gaga, which I love.

April – Safe

Couture:

I feel like I should be sick of April’s goth-chic aesthetic by now, but I’m not. It doesn’t make for great television, because it’s hard to see the details in all her black outfits, but when you review them in photos, each garment is intricate and unique. I’m digging the leather-and-lace train in particular. It’s like Lady Gaga meets Twilight, which sounds like it should be terrible but actually sort of works! It’s not exactly couture, but it’s intriguing and creative, and for that, I’d have put April in the top 3.

RTW:

Like Andy’s RTW look, April’s dress doesn’t move mountains, but it’s cute enough and isn’t falling apart at the seams. I hate that necklace, though.

Christopher – Safe

Couture:

I didn’t hate this when I first saw it, but I hate it more every minute I look at it. The white draping around her waist is sloppy and unflattering, and in the immortal words of Michael Kors, it looks like she’s pooping fabric. That dirty rose water pink is awful, as is the “nude” underlay that clashes horribly with the model’s skin tone. The shoulder piece is nice from the back, but a little underwhelming from the front. But the hair and makeup really drag this down into the dumps. Christopher seems like a wonderfully sweet person and a good designer, but he may just be too boring to continue much further on the show.

RTW:

Oof! That is some sloppy sewing. The dress is only slightly more boring than April’s and Andy’s RTW looks, but the snooze-worthy fabrics and truly shoddy construction make it seem like a much hotter disaster. And I’d have put him in the bottom 3 for two poorly made and drab-colored garments down the runway.

Gretchen – Top 3

Couture:

Since this season began, I’ve never liked anything Gretchen designs as much as the judges praise it. Sometimes it’s just a matter of personal taste – the 1970s aesthetic that’s all over Gretchen’s mind and the New York Fashion Week runways right now is really not my style – but sometimes, I just want to tell Michael, Nina, and Heidi to put down the crack pipe and open their eyes. This is ugly, dowdy, matronly, and not even remotely couture or high-fashion. I don’t think it feels expensive or chic, and the back, which the judges creamed their pants over, looks beyond tacky to me. I’ll concede that the feather work is nicely done, but this is not a garment that a real woman wants to wear.

RTW:

Gretchen, I’ll give you $20,000 myself if you just make something that doesn’t feature a slouchy sweater, oversized sleeves, or droopy fabrics of any kind. Gretchen’s strong construction skills would make me judge her as safe, but no way in hell would she be in the top 3 if I were in the judge’s circle.

Ivy – Eliminated

Couture:

Well, it was about damn time. Ivy’s been churning out ugly after ugly since the beginning. But I must say, even I could not have anticipated just how ugly this was going to be. I knew the colors were tacky, the concept was too literal, and it wouldn’t be remotely high fashion, but I didn’t think it was going to look THIS bad.

RTW:

And THIS was so bad, it was almost funny. The lack of a hem, the so-called draping, that awful neckline – I’d have sent Ivy home for either one of these looks, and she solidified her fate with two equally horrible garments.

Michael C – Bottom 3

Couture:

Before I noticed the wire hem, the never-ending train and the way the Bordeaux fabric shimmers, I didn’t hate this. I thought it was so derivative of Christian Siriano and other similar designers that it was practically copyright infringement, but I didn’t think it was ugly. But those three details (hem, train, shininess) killed it for me.

RTW:

Again, it’s every Alice + Olivia cocktail dress that Barneys sells, proving once again that Michael C has not an original thought in his head, but at least I could see a young woman wearing this. I actually would have made Michael C safe, not thrown him in the bottom, but I swear if I see one more zipper on this fucking runway, I’m going to lose my mind.

Mondo – Winner!

Couture:

I didn’t love the front, but this was by far the best look on the runway. I hate that the bodice sits so far away from her chest, and the black satiny fabric he used for the front looks cheap and tacky, but the back is simply stunning. I agree with the judges that the length is a problem (too short in front, too long in back), but the back of this dress is the only thing on the runway that I would call high fashion. As always, Mondo mixes prints and colors with impeccable skill, but what amazes me is the geometric, architectural shapes to this skirt. It’s not simply draped in back – it’s practically origami folded in such a complex and beautiful way.

RTW:

Simple and chic, but supremely body-conscious and much more show-stopping than any of the other RTW looks. If his win wasn’t solidified with the couture dress, this certainly would have given him the win in my book.

Valerie – Bottom 3

Couture:

Oh, lord. This dress is as basic as basic gets. The only actual design aspect is that sad little shoulder piece; the rest is an endless nightmare of white. Did she really think she could just wrap white fabric around her model and call it a day?

RTW:

I still get queasy just looking at this hot mess. It certainly gives Ivy a run for her money in terms of suckery. Valerie should thank her lucky stars that Ivy screwed up so badly, and she should watch her back, because if she doesn’t make a 180 soon, the judges are not going to forgive her.

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Up next: London Fashion Week! Milan Fashion Week! And so much more. Stay updated on twitter @democracydiva.

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New York Fashion Week’s 10 Best Looks

10. The Retro Swimsuit

Vintage-style swimwear is one of my favorite fashion trends. Bandeau tops, high-waisted bottoms – I’ll take that over a barely-there string bikini any day of the week. And in this gorgeous color, with the matching sweater and shoes? Who could possibly say no to this?

9. Lady in Red

From the way Project Runway is going, I’m not sure Valerie will actually make it to the top three, but her collection said otherwise. Architectural and feminine, like season 2 winner Chloe Dao. I hate the fake-looking wigs she used on every damn model, but this dress is truly stunning. It’s got complexity and intrigue but still feels classic.

8. Mad Men Meets Babydoll

The fabric choice is mod-chic, but the babydoll length is totally 90s. I love the sleeves and the way it flares out, flattering her teensy waist. A classically beautiful shape and print.

7. Architectural Chic

Totally modern, totally gorgeous. All those lines would be overwhelming if the dress wasn’t broken up by the clean white stripes in the middle. And that white sheer underlay? Delicious.

6. A Skirt for the Ages

Well, looks like I’ve found my new lawyer-chic ensemble. A crisp button down and a skirt with serious attitude is all a professional woman needs. That draping is so meticulous and it completely modernizes a classic outfit. I love the black bow at the waist, and I like that the skirt has some volume without making her look hippy.

5. Color Me Fabulous

Marc wins the award for best use of color. He didn’t hide behind taupes and whites – Mr. Jacobs went all out with gorgeous, rich, unique colors (and it happens to match my Ted Baker purse perfectly). Say what you will about the prairie-girl silhouettes – those colors are the only ones I want to wear this spring.

4. A New Silhouette

I’m just obsessed with the shapes of these pieces. Totally fresh and totally Vera. And that hair is so perfect for a Vera show – a pumped-up, volumized classic.

3. Hervé Strikes Again

Hervé Léger Spring 2011

Hervé Léger is beloved by celebrities for making skin-tight, incredibly body-conscious dresses. His infamous “bandage dresses” have been worn by the likes of Elisabeth Moss, L, Kim Kardashian, Anne Hathaway, Victoria Beckham, Blake Lively, and countless more starlets. He also nailed the number three spot in my post last season about the ten best looks from Fall 2010 (for a dress later worn by Lea Michele). And he’s back with a vengeance this season, with more awe-inspiring designs that show off a woman’s body like never before. Gorgeous, architectural, and above all, totally smokin’.

2. The Perfect Print

Fabulous silhouette and fit, but it’s the print that makes this truly unique. Those colors are beyond incredible. I hope this print shows up all over the runway this spring.

1. The Modern Classic

That fade from nude into navy is gorgeous. Such a dramatic effect in such a simple and timeless dress. Voluminous on the body, angelic on the top – a beautiful dress for any woman.

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Need more NYFW? Check out the worst looks, the hottest trends, and the best collections from New York Fashion Week. And for all your overseas fashion needs, don’t miss out on the best of London Fashion Week and Milan Fashion Week!

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Trannies & Cameltoes: The 10 Worst Looks from New York Fashion Week

10. Vagina Cleavage

Project Runway's Andy South Spring 2011

It makes me very upset to say this, but I need a word for when you can see a little side-vagina action, a la Lady Gaga. Side-gina? Vagina cleavage? Peek-a-vag? (I think that’s my favorite.) Maybe we should name it after Gaga and call it a Gagagina. Dear readers, I wish there were not a need for me to invent such a term, but Andy committed a serious fashion faux pas by letting this model walk down the runway in an over-designed bathrobe and a cooter-revealing panty. Andy, I believe that your model got a bikini wax before the show. You really don’t need to prove it to us.

9. The Tiny Backwards Apron

Charlotte Ronson Spring 2011

Really? That’s the part of the body we’re choosing to emphasize? The area between the boobs and the bellybutton is not something that women want to highlight with window curtains. That square patch of exposed skin is beyond unnecessary. Also, is it just me, or is this Kurt Cobain in a skirt?

8. Drab and Sad

Richard Chai Love Spring 2011

Anybody in the market for an over-sized denim tunic and a saggy double-layered skirt? No? I didn’t think so.

7. My Lovely Lady Lumps

Doo.Ri Spring 2011

Oh, lord. Why would anybody place seams in those places? It just makes this poor bitch look like her (nonexistent) fat is busting out of that dress. And the diagonal pieces across her tummy? No, no, no!

6. The Worst of 1999

Y-3 Spring 2011

I had that belt in seventh grade, and even I knew it was lame. Also, that shirt is so tacky I’m pretty sure Jessica Alba wore it in Never Been Kissed. (Yeah, she was in that. So was James Franco. Look it up.) And I’m pretty sure MC Hammer would look at those pants and say, “That’s a bit much.”

5. The Tranny Orchestra

Elise Øverland Spring 2011

Okay. So this is a dude with a mohawk wearing pants under a skirt while playing the violin. And he had Taylor Momsen do his eyeliner. If this is fashion, I may as well just give up right now.

4. Ugly Pants: The Sequel

Malandrino Spring 2011

For some reason, Catherine Malandrino neglected to read my last post about her ugly pants, and continued her trend of saggy crotches. One season of jodpurs may be forgivable, but two? I will not stand for such offensive clothing.

3. Ugly Pants is Better than No Pants At All

Malandrino Spring 2011

Knitwear legwarmers as pants? Plus a nipple-tastic ratty tee and a giant panty? Okay, Malandrino. I’ll take the saggy-vag pants over this shit.

2. Creature of the Underworld

Jen Kao Spring 2011

Dear readers: If you ever see me in a greasy mullet, scary bottom-lid eyeliner, thick-thighed sheer pants, and whatever the fuck those “shoes” are, please commit me to the nearest rehabilitation center. Thank you.

1. The Cameltoe

Sachin + Babi Spring 2011

Look at this poor model’s face. She’s saying, “I’m wearing a jumpsuit in a pattern best suited for your grandmother’s couch, with a karate belt, Wonder Woman bracelets, and queer little bows around my ankles. AND LOOK AT WHAT THEY DID TO MY POOR VAGINA!” In other news, I don’t think I’ve ever used the word “vagina” so many times in one post. I’ll work on that, dear readers.

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Up next: The ten BEST looks from New York Fashion Week! Follow me @democracydiva for updates.

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Best Collections of New York Fashion Week

No surprise here – in a week full of tans and taupes and creams and whites, two collections stood out from the crowd: Oscar de la Renta and Marchesa. I highly suggest you check out the full collections and weep over all the unattainable beauty for yourselves.

Oscar de la Renta

Oscar de la Renta Spring 2011

Too many designers took “spring” to mean droopy, dreary, washed-out clothes that lacked color or personality. Not Oscar. He emphasized the vibrancy of spring in his color palette and was unafraid to emphasize the woman’s body in his silhouettes. His tweed suits and dresses were very Coco Chanel, and the entire collection felt like a more modern, more luxurious version of the Mad Men. It may not have been the most innovative or forward-thinking of collections, but we love Oscar for taking what’s classic and making it feel new again, and that’s exactly what he did.

Marchesa

Marchesa Spring 2011

Marchesa designer Georgina Chapman knows drama. Her collections don’t change drastically from season to season, but somehow every voluminous dress looks newer, more spectacular, and more gravity-defying than the last. They’re far from wearable – I mean, can you imagine sitting down in that blue gown? – but you can see the detail and creativity that goes into each piece. And although I’ve seen Marchesa and other designers do those intricate cut-out designs before, they never cease to amaze me.

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Up next on the blog: The 10 best and 10 worst looks of New York Fashion Week! Stay tuned and stay updated @democracydiva.

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