Welcome, darlings, to your better-late-than-never weekly fashion recap.
CHLOE MORETZ // dress by Christopher Kane
No one could possibly beat out 14-year-old Chloe Moretz for best dressed of the week. This dress is absolutely phenomenal – incredibly colorful and bold, but subdued by the black embellishments. I’m usually not a fan of mullet hems (short in the front, long in the back) but this one is subtle and works beautifully on her. I love the high neckline and the short sleeves, which keep things youthful and age-appropriate, and the strappy sandals were a good choice. Honestly, I just hope Chloe explodes into super-stardom so I can blog about what she wears every damn day.
LADY GAGA // dress by Versace, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Gaga has been foregoing her usual wild-beyond-comprehension wardrobe in favor of more simplistic but equally fabulous looks. The print is wild enough for Gaga, but the silhouette is simple and chic. I love how the gold cuff pattern matches the floral print on her dress. The accessories are classic and lovely. Now that Gaga seems to have exhausted her meat-wearing persona, I’m happy to see her dressing more like a real person (though I’ll always love her wacky, avant-garde style).
This would look like your grandma’s curtains on anybody else, but on Mrs. Orlando Bloom, this dress is really quite beautiful. It drapes beautifully, but emphasizes her teensy little waist. The colors are bright and summery and the sleeves flow and drape in a pretty way.
LADY GAGA // dress by Versace, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I love that Gaga is taking things down a notch, but this might be a little too far down. You could see this look, or a knockoff thereof, on any woman. But I love the way the studded belt matches the studded sunglasses, and I love the way her gay assistants have to wear matching white polos, jeans, and white sneakers. Way to micro-manage, Gaga.
MIRANDA KERR // dress by Yves Saint Laurent, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Yum. Love the sleeves, love the length, dig the shoes.
DIANE KRUGER // outfit and accessories by Jason Wu
LOVE a good use of menswear on the red carpet. Her shorts-tuxedo is too adorable for words – very modern, chic, and unique. I probably wouldn’t have paired that purse and those shoes together, but individually, they’re both incredible pieces. This got a lot of hate on the blogosphere, but that’s more due to many fashion bloggers’ centuries-old conservative perception of “women’s clothes” and “men’s clothes.” It’s 2011, bitches – we’re long overdue to start appreciating women in bow ties and tuxedo jackets.
LAUREN CONRAD // dress by Alice + Olivia, purse by Chanel, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Hate the hair, which looks like a cheap clip-on extension you could buy at Claire’s for five bucks, but I LOVE the dress. The print is fun and colorful but not over-the-top, and we all know that a quilted Chanel purse is the best accessory to almost any outfit.
NORA ZEHETNER // dress by Calvin Klein Collection
Can you believe this woman is thirty years old? She looks sixteen. Keep doing whatever you’re doing, Nora – it’s working. LOVE her little mod shift dress (even if it is a little wrinkled), but the accessories aren’t quite working. I like the chunky ivory bracelet, but not with the bright-white purse.
KATIE HOLMES // skirt by H&M
Katie, call your hair stylist and tell him he’s got a big tip coming his way, because your locks have never looked better. Lose the booties, which don’t quite work with the proportions of this look, and you’ve got yourself some pretty chic street style.
ANNE HATHAWAY // dress by Alexander McQueen, clutch and shoes by Christian Louboutin
Anne is beautiful and often dresses fantastically well, but once in awhile, I feel like she’s stuck in a decade-old fashion rut. The gold embellishments, gold purse and gold shoes are downright tacky for any time other than New Years’ Eve, and this dress feels too little-girly for a grown woman.
ALLISON JANNEY // dress by Dolce & Gabbana
Fierce, but needs a necklace.
EMMA STONE // dress and purse by Chanel, shoes by Brian Atwood
The blogosphere RAVED over this look and I cannot for the life of me figure out why. You all know by now that I have a big old fashion crush on Emma Stone, but even my totally gay feelings for her can’t overcome the awful-ness of this look. The hair is sloppy, and she’s wearing so much makeup, I’m surprised she can even breathe. There’s no reason for a woman this beautiful to be covered in that much face paint. And the colors of this look, from the nude-pink to the nude-gray, are just depressing. They don’t do anything for her porcelain skin, and they’re made worse by the pink purse and dingy shoes. As if the colors weren’t problematic enough, the real tragedy here is the fit and shape of these garments. What’s with that little drape next to her left hand? Is that really what this skirt is supposed to look like? Sorry, dear Emma, but this is a head-to-toe failure.
BUSY PHILLIPPS // top by Anthropologie, belt by Madewell, skirt and shoes by Topshop
Someone’s been working on Cougartown a little too long, because this would only work on a woman twice Busy’s age. The mixed prints and colors don’t work together at all, the length of the skirt is dowdy and matronly, and the shape of that top does nothing for her figure.
Could everyone please stop wearing 1970s furniture as dresses, please?
BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD // dress and shoes by Kate Spade
That sleeve length is just embarrassing, and the pink-white color of the top of this dress washes her out terribly. The skirt just sort of hands behind her haphazardly, with no consideration for the shape of her actual body. I know you’re pregnant, darling, but you’re not a pregnant preacher’s wife in the 1950s, so stop dressing like one.
ROSE MCGOWAN // dress by Blumarine
If you ever wanted to know what Princess Ariel of The Little Mermaid fame wears to hit the clubs, now you know. It’s this.
Please, Tyra, I beg of you: Just stop showing up on red carpets. It only makes you look more stupid every time you leave the damn house.