I was all set to post my regular weekly fashion recap, but celebs donned SO many black, white and gray outfits this week that I decided the trend warranted its own post.
LADY GAGA // dress and purse by Versace
Gaga again works her Donatella Versace-influenced aesthetic, with her long platinum locks and deliciously studded Versace gown. Can’t get enough of that purse, and I love a lady who wears gloves for no good reason.
JANE LYNCH // gown by Alexander McQueen
Our Sue Sylvester usually veers towards suits, or at least less-revealing dresses, but she blew me out of the fucking water with this incredible McQueen gown. Her makeup is natural and beautiful, and she looks younger than she has in years. The print and fit are perfect – all she needs is a necklace and she’s ready to host the Emmys.
If she lost the fake tan and the ridiculous blue satin shoes, she’d look fantastic.
KIM KARDASHIAN // dress by Antonio Berardi
Surprisingly understated for Kim, but a size too small as usual.
EVA LONGORIA // gown by J. Mendel
I’m trying to find something wrong with this, but I can’t. She looks fabulous.
KERRY WASHINGTON // dress by Zuhair Murad, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Hot little dress, but the ankle booties throw the proportions off a little bit.
You gotta admit, this diva can rock a cute little dress. And those shoes are absolutely to die for.
JAIME KING // dress by Jason Wu, purse by Chanel
I hate the bottle-blonde hair, and having a bow at the waist AND the neck is fairly stupid, and this dress could easily have been worn on the Oregon Trail. The shoes are an ugly shape, too. But she does look kind of cute, in a Michelle Williams rip-off sort of way.
KRISTEN BELL // dress by Etro, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Casadei
Boring but nice-looking, like Kristen.
OLIVIA WILDE // dress by Gucci, shoes by Brian Atwood
SIDE BOOB ALERT! It’s amazing how she can wear an elderly Mormon widow’s dress and still manage to flash half her breast at the paparazzi. That’s real talent.
GINNIFER GOODWIN // dress by 3.1 Phillip Lim, shoes by Jimmy Choo
The arms make her look like a Muppet, but I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing. Great makeup, fab shoes.
OLIVIA MUNN // dress by Alice + Olivia, purse by Linea Pelle, shoes by Report Signature
Eh. She looks kind of trashy, like a rich girl at a skeevy college bar. It’s a little too tight and the white shoes are kind of prostitutional.
OLIVIA WILDE // dress by Tom Ford, shoes by Brian Atwood
I feel sorry for the horse who had to have his tail plucked so that Olivia Wilde could have this hideous hairdo. They could have at least picked a pony with the same hair color as Olivia – this is just pathetic. Love the neckline of the dress, though.
Gotta love a girl for working that neckline, but everything else is a little too boring. And I hate the severity of her hair and makeup.
BRITTANY SNOW // dress by Camilla and Marc, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti
Cute dress, but we need a closer look at those shoes:
Love the spikes; hate that mustard-meets-urine color.
LEA MICHELE // gown by Alberta Ferretti
Unless you’re at the gym or washing your face, this hairdo is unacceptable. She’s also way too short for this dress.
ROSE MCGOWAN // dress by Dolce & Gabbana, purse by Judith Leiber, shoes by Brian Atwood
She has had some truly terrible work done. Lips and eyes, maybe cheeks and chin, certainly breasts. I’ve been informed that Rose was in a horrible car accident and had to have her face reconstructed as a result, so I retract my former comments. (Though it should be noted that her tits were not affected by the crash, so we can still make fun of her boob job.) The hooker hair and makeup, too-tight dress and red heels don’t help the situation.
CHRISTINA RICCI // dress by Michael Kors, shoes by Yves Saint Laurent
Hair and makeup are far too severe for her features, but the dress is super-cute and appears to have pockets!
KATIE HOLMES // dress by Holmes & Yang, shoes by Alexandre Birman
For someone who’s married to a complete fucking lunatic, Katie Holmes sure is boring.
CLAIRE DANES // dress by L’Wren Scott
TOUCH. UP. YOUR. ROOTS. The dress is fine, but without shoes you can actually see or any other visible accessories, it’s just not enough.
HILARY DUFF // dress by Yigal Azrouel, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Want to feel really fucking old? Hilary Duff is pregnant. Unfortunately for her/fortunately for you, that will not stop me from making fun of her clothes. White shoes weren’t the best choice for such a dark look, and that cuff is a little ridiculous. The dress is as ordinary as can be, but the hair and makeup are pretty superb.
Tacky hair, too much makeup. The dress is kind of trampy and the shoes are unremarkable.
This has to be the least flattering length ever created. It makes this already drab dress look even sadder.
Bringing “sex hair” to a whole new level. I mean, there’s fashionable bedhead, and there’s fucking in the limo on the way to the event. This is almost certainly the latter.
EMMA ROBERTS // dress and purse by Kate Spade, shoes by Brian Atwood
Honey, you are porcelain and you need to start dealing with it. A white dress and dingy purse are not your friend. And I deplore you, change that hair color before it ruins you.