ROONEY MARA at the Santa Barbara Film Festival // coat and dress by Louis Vuitton, shoes by Giambattista Valli
The Girl with the Black and White Wardrobe finally donned another color – GREEN! I must say, this coat is all kinds of delicious that I would love to have hanging in my closet. But let’s get a glimpse without the coat:
Boom. Fierce. Love the dress, love the color, and most of all, love the shoes. Anyone else would have picked a basic peep-toe pump and I’m so glad she chose something with a little more interest and beauty.
ANNA WINTOUR in New York City // purse by Alexander McQueen
Anna’s bob is so sharp, I wonder if she’s got someone on the Vogue payroll whose sole job is to ensure that no hair on her head is ever out of place. She loves to work a statement necklace, and this one is lovely as ever. And the navy dress is all kinds of amazing. Ms. Wintour tends to stick to printed dresses or tweed suits – a flapper-esque cocktail dress isn’t her signature, but she’s working the shit out of it. And while I’ve been thinking all week about how sick I’m getting of those McQueen clutches being all over the red carpet, leave it to Anna to make it fresh and new again. The long shape, navy color and gold detailing are fabulous. The blue-and-gold combo gives it a nautical feel that I love.
NAOMI WATTS in Sydney // dress by Stella McCartney
I always forget she exists, and I’m certainly not drinking the Stella McCartney kool-aid that Hollywood seems to be addicted to, but I’ll concede that this silhouette is really sharp on her. I’d fix the length and swap out some accessories, but it’s pretty good.
SCARLETT JOHANSSON at the Golden Camera Awards // gown by Calvin Klein
She looks beautiful, but the dress is a little forgettable. It looks great on her body (save for the length), and though the hair is blah, the makeup is lovely. But I just can’t get into this one.
MICHELLE OBAMA // sweater by Michael Kors, skirt by J. Crew
Love. Love, love, love. Arms look amazing, waist is itsy-bitsy, legs are phenomenal. Loving the color palette, but the pink shoes might be overkill.
KATY PERRY in Indianapolis // dress by Versus, shoes by Christian Louboutin
The ridiculous thing is that if it weren’t for the fur vest, I’d be on board with this. Seriously. I for one am fine with the blue hair (I highly prefer this sharp, modern bob to her dreaded Bettie Page bangs), and I think that dress is totally fantastic. And the shoes? Phenomenal! But why did she have to murder a poodle, dye it purple, and wear it as a poncho?
KATHARINE MCPHEE at the NFL Honors // dress by Valentino, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Careful with those darts that point directly to the center of your boob – it makes it seem like your nipples are showing clear through the dress. Other than that, this is lovely. Of course, a little white dress and nude shoes isn’t exactly rocket science, but it is the perfect LWD for Katharine. And at least the shoes are pointy and have ankle-straps instead of being round or peep-toe pumps.
ELIZABETH BANKS in New York City // shoes by Casadei
I wouldn’t hate the dress, if it actually fit her (which it doesn’t). But the shoes? I most certainly hate the shoes. My 87-year-old grandmother would look at those shoes and go, “Honey, I think those are a tad old-fashioned.”
EMMY ROSSUM // dress by Anna Sui
Terrifyingly similar to Elizabeth’s look, no? i like this dress way better, because the hearts instead of polka dots are adorable, and I like the ombre effect it creates. But the red purse, the red nails and toenails, and the red lips? It’s beyond overkill. And those are some fugly shoes, Emmy. Get it together.
ASHLEY GREENE // dress by DKNY, shoes by Christian Louboutin
The dress is cute, but is she – dare I say it – wearing BLUE TOE NAIL POLISH on the red carpet? Not like, a bright, bold blue that says, “fuck you! I’m blue! Get over it!” No, this is a fungal, scary blue that comes before your feet get amputated. Come on, girl, how many red carpets have you looked boring as hell on? Don’t you know the basic rules by now?
KATHERINE HEIGL at the Berlin premiere of One for the Money // dress by Michael Kors, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo
Her hair gets worse by the minute, and GOOD LORD do I dislike those shoes, but the dress is working wonders for her body. It’s probably the classiest thing she’s worn in five years, and it’s zebra-print, for crying out loud.
KRISTIN DAVIS in Los Angeles // dress by Monique Lhuillier, purse by Judith Leiber, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo
Is there anything more depressing than a woman in her forties trying to pull off what can best be described as a Bat Mitzvah dress? Seriously, Kristin, you are beyond beautiful, but these little-girl dresses are embarrassing. As is the fact that you haven’t changed your hair, makeup, or anything about your personal style since you were playing Charlotte York (on the small screen, not the big screen).
SHAILENE WOODLEY at the Santa Barbara Film Festival // dress by 3.1 Phillip Lim, shoes by Pierre Hardy
Leather mini-dresses are this season’s it dress, but Shailene needs a little help with hers. First, something that actually fits her instead of making her look shorter and wider than she really is. And while the shoes are lovely, they weren’t necessarily the best choice for this outfit. And Shailene, darling, haven’t we had many conversations about the hair already? I’m starting to think you’re not listening to me.
BÉRÉNICE BEJO at the Santa Barbara Film Festival // suit by Dolce & Gabbana
Can we just agree not to wear shiny white suits? I think unless you’re Madonna or Johnny Weir, this is kind of impossible to pull off.
TILDA SWINTON in Los Angeles // blouse and pants by Lanvin
Tilda, I love you. But I’m not on board with pajamas as red carpet wear, and you shouldn’t be, either.
MADONNA at the Super Bowl // ensemble by Givenchy
What words can I use to describe a gold Egyptian muumuu by Givenchy? There are none, really. Just bask in Madonna’s glory, or be totally over this, depending on your worldview.
MADONNA at the Super Bowl // ensemble by Givenchy, boots by Miu Miu
But even haters need to admit those boots are ALL KINDS OF FIERCE. And let’s be honest, so is the rest of the outfit. She’s actually working the shit out of this.
MADONNA at the Super Bowl // ensemble by Givenchy
This? Not so much. I love a sequined bathrobe as much as the next girl, but c’mon, Madge. Live a little.
M.I.A. at the Super Bowl // ensemble by Fausto Puglisi
The “M” stands for Merkin, I believe. This somehow dove off from Egyptian into slutty homemade marching band uniform, and I didn’t love that divergence. Also, these boots are a little underwhelming compared to Madonna’s.
NICKI MINAJ at the Super Bowl // ensemble by Fausto Puglisi
Well, it’s certainly not the stupidest thing Nicki’s ever worn. But do you think Madonna forced M.I.A. and Nicki to wear an “M” and “N,” respectively, because Madonna couldn’t be bothered to learn their names? I like to think so.