HAILEE STEINFELD at Fashion’s Night Out
dress by Erin by Erin Fetherston, purse by Edie Parker
Hailee Steinfeld, I just want you in my life all the time. I love the ridiculously shiny dress and equally glitzy accessories, and the nude shoes are actually gorgeous with the touches of nude in the dress. The dark polish keeps things from going little-girly, and her soft barrel curls and waves are just perfect.
KATE BOSWORTH at a Proenza Schouler store opening
ensemble by Proenza Schouler
I could quibble with that misshapen top, but I’d kill for Kate’s skirt. The shoe/bag combo is particularly delicious, and her pink lip gloss brightens up the look beautifully.
OLIVIA PALERMO at Valentino’s Fashion’s Night Out event
This is one of those “love it on her, would hate it on me” kind of dresses. It’s a bit optical illusion-y for my taste, but her legs look phenomenal. And in true Olivia Palermo tradition, she killed it with the styling: the shoes and purse just scream “New York Fashion Week” in the best possible way.
KATHARINE MCPHEE at the Style Awards
dress by Peter Pilotto, purse by R & Y Augousti, shoes by Charlotte Olympia
I am full-on in love with her Peter Pilotto dress, but the chevron-printed purse was so clearly a misstep. And those shoes don’t really work with this look at all.
ALEXA CHUNG at Moschino’s Fashion’s Night Out event
Alexa Chung seems to be dressed sort of like an adult woman who owns a hairbrush and has some knowledge of how to apply makeup! THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US!
ANNA WINTOUR, DIANE VON FURSTENBERG, OSCAR DE LA RENTA, and SARAH JESSICA PARKER
Immediately after this photo was taken, Anna punched the photographer in the face for daring to yell, “Say cheese!”*
*This is not based on any actual facts, but c’mon. Doesn’t it just feel true?
ANNA DELLO RUSSO at Fashion’s Night Out
Never change, Anna Dello Russo, you crazy creature. I hope she never stops bedazzling herself with silver and gold studs, and I pray her devotion to cut-outs never fades with age.
JESSICA CHASTAIN at the Shops at Target launch
jacket, top, and skirt by Kirna Zabête for Target
Every piece is just a little bit off – the blazer is too long on her body but too short in the sleeves; that top might involved a tucked-in pussy bow, which is just beyond problematic; and that skirt has a really strange fullness and length. But throw Disney princess hair on it and poof! It’s somehow working. Ish.
JESSICA CHASTAIN at Moschino’s Fashion’s Night Out event
dress by Jason Wu, shoes by Yves Saint Laurent
Much more clean and chic, but I think the harsh angles, colors, and accessories are all wrong for her. Unless she’s styled from head-to-toe for a photo shoot, she rarely looks her best in severe outfits.
ANNA WINTOUR and VICTORIA BECKHAM at Fashion’s Night Out
Victoria’s dress by Victoria Beckham, shoes by Proenza Schouler
Congratulations, Victoria – you are the only woman alive who can make Anna Wintour seem smiley and pleasant! Also, I want your shoes.
JULIANNE MOORE and ELIZABETH OLSEN at the Swarovski launch party
Julianne’s suit by Tom Ford; Elizabeth’s dress by Antonio Berardi
It’s Fashion Week, Julianne. You can do better than a basic black suit, even if it’s a nice one. And Elizabeth, are you aware that the top of that dress is completely sheer? Or did you intend for me to have to stare at your bra and bellybutton?
SARAH JESSICA PARKER at Fashion’s Night Out
dress by Prabal Gurung, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood
Cute enough, but disappointing, like it was thrown together without a second thought (and not in the effortlessly chic way, just in the underwhelming way). Did all these celebs pack for NYFW without choosing a Fashion’s Night Out outfit? And by that I mean, did all these celebs pay people to pack for NYFW without directing them to choose a Fashion’s Night Out outfit?
AMY ADAMS at the Style Awards
dress by Giambattista Valli
Cut four inches off the bottom of the dress, lose the matching purse, find shoes that fit and don’t bore me to sleep, scrape off half that clown makeup, make some effort to do your hair, and then maybe I’ll consider giving you the time of day, Amy.
CAROLINA HERRERA and KATIE HOLMES at the Style Awards
Katie’s dress by Carolina Herrera
Carolina Herrera is forty years Katie Holmes’s senior. And KATIE is the one in the more matronly outfit. No fucking surprise there.
BROOKYLN DECKER at the Shops at Target launch
top by Kirna Zabête for Target, skirt and shoes by Givenchy
Oh, honey, no. No to all of this. Everything happening here is terrible.
DEBRA MESSING at Michael Kors’s Fashion’s Night Out event
Do you see that little man standing a floor below Debra, staring up at her in confusion? He’s thinking, “Grace Adler, what, what, WHAT are you doing in a turtleneck and fur vest in NINETY FUCKING DEGREE WEATHER?”
I know you might not be able to read all that just from his tiny little face, but trust me, dear readers. I’m a professional gayface-reader.