Welcome back, dear readers, to the fabulous Golden Globes.

Best Dressed: MICHELLE DOCKERY
gown by Alexandre Vauthier

GO ON AND GET IT, LADY MARY! Oh my God, I love everything about this fabulous woman. Her short hair looks amazing, her eyebrows were crafted by the gods themselves, and her haute couture gown is simply divine. The structured shoulders and high neckline in that gold are just amazing, and the V-shaped seams are crazy-flattering. And that stunning burgundy shoe is subtle yet surprising.

Runner-Up: HELEN MIRREN
gown by Badgley Mischka

Are there even words to describe Dame Helen Mirren? This 67-year-old diva shows off her incredible curves in a classic, old Hollywood silhouette with funky, modern embellishments. Love the hair, love the earrings – she looks positively statuesque.

Honorable Mention: CLAIRE DANES
gown by Atelier Versace

Claire Danes gave birth a MONTH ago. This woman is SUPERHUMAN. The gown is genius – the swimsuit-like straps, the draping, and the wrap effect are all supremely flattering, and Claire is simply radiating awesomeness in it. AND took home a Golden Globe.

TINA FEY
dress by L’Wren Scott, purse by Roger Vivier, shoes by Salvatore Ferragamo

What Disney princess did Tina Fey have to kill in order to steal that hair? It’s fucking incredible. Tina has never looked so good, and I loved her sassy little L’Wren Scott dress and glitzy purse. The cut of the dress is great on her, but a little more jewelry wouldn’t hurt.

ROBERT PATTINSON
tuxedo by Gucci

When this man cleans up, he cleans up good.

LENA DUNHAM
gown by Zac Posen, jewelry by Fred Leighton

In pictures, Lena looks a little uncomfortable in her stunning eggplant Zac Posen gown, but on the red carpet, she was basking in the glow of everything around her and looked absolutely beautiful doing it. I don’t love the heaviness of the very bottom of the skirt, but the shoulders and the bodice are so lovely – you can tell it was custom-made for her. (Zac Posen apparently used to babysit for Lena Dunham! #funfacts)

JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS
gown by Vera Wang

This bitch is hiding somewhere in a cave drinking unicorn blood with Lucy Liu. I swear, these women are impervious to aging. I loved every delicate layer of Julia’s beautiful Vera Wang gown. The corset top is extremely flattering, and the effect of the sheer over the black lace over nude is just fantastic.

HEIDI KLUM
gown by Alexandre Vauthier, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz, shoes by Christian Louboutin

Yes, yes, it’s very Heidi, in that the slit is just so completely unreasonably high, but otherwise, it’s a supremely fun, glitzy, event-appropriate gown. She looks like she was there to get wasted and heckle Taylor Swift and have a blast, doesn’t she? I just love it.

JENNIFER LAWRENCE
gown by Christian Dior, jewelry by Chopard, shoes by Brian Atwood

I can’t pretend those ridiculous wings coming off her breasts were a good idea, but the rest of the gown was stunning (if slightly wrinkled in this picture). She should have worn a necklace or worn her hair down, as she looks a little bare above the bustline. But she wasn’t the only girl on fire in Dior at the event…

MARION COTILLARD
dress by Christian Dior

The color of this gown looked much less orange and much closer to Jennifer’s dress. Between that and the same skinny metallic belt, I was kind of shocked that two such similar looks ended up on the same red carpet at such a major event. But the silhouettes were obviously entirely different, and Marion’s resort-like version seemed far too casual for the event. The casual hair and makeup, the lack of a necklace, and the blue-green nail polish completely drag the look out of eveningwear territory. She looks good in it, but the styling isn’t good enough for the Globes.

KATE HUDSON
gown by Alexander McQueen, purse by Roger Vivier

I’ll concede that the keyhole is way, WAY too big, but it’s hard to go wrong in black and gold McQueen. It’s not the most original choice on earth, but it’s a cliche for a reason, and Kate looks great in it.

ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY
gown and shoes by Saint Laurent

Does she always have to wear something with a giant ridiculous bow on it? It’s so distracting.

LEA MICHELE
gown by Elie Saab, jewelry by Lorraine Schwartz

The slit needn’t be quite so high, and I think the shoes don’t work with this gown at all, but she looks good. Of course, hand a girl a stunning ivory Elie Saab gown glistening with glittery flowers and she can’t look too terrible.

GABBY DOUGLAS
gown by Pamella Roland

The accessories are ridiculous, and the gown is about eleven feet too long on her, but I LOVED this color on Gabby. Fun, youthful, and glamorous. But those accessories were designed for a stripper on acid – leave them in a bin somewhere for Kesha or Nicki Minaj, okay?

ARIEL WINTER
dress by Valentino, shoes by Benjamin Adams

I hate the headband and the lipstick and the pairing of a gold purse with silver studded shoes, but the dress is adorable.

AMY ADAMS
gown by Marchesa, jewelry by Tiffany & Co.

Amy is actively trying to bore the shit out of me. Yes, she looks beautiful, but how many times have we seen her in this dress? A million? And how many more blush mermaid gowns do I have to criticize before Hollywood finally starts listening to the wisdom of the Democracy Diva?

ALLISON WILLIAMS
gown by J. Mendel

Heavy, unflattering, and depressing. Cute earrings, though.

SALMA HAYEK
gown by Gucci Premiére

I can’t really pinpoint exactly why I hate this so much. It’s too many Salma Hayeks on too many red carpets in too many strapless black Gucci gowns, I think. Feel free to defend it in the comments, but there’s something I can’t name that’s very sloppy and dated about this.

JULIE BOWEN
gown by Halston

Darling, who put you in all of that fabric? You didn’t pay someone to wrap fifteen yards of blue around you and call it a Golden Globes gown, did you?

Worst Dressed: JENNIFER LOPEZ
gown by Zuhair Murad

If I had a dollar for every time Jennifer Lopez appeared to have lace painted onto her nude body at a major red carpet event, I would be a very wealthy Diva indeed.

Need more? While you’re waiting for Part 3, check out Part 1 of the Golden Globes red carpet!

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© Democracy Diva, 2013.
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