DIANE KRUGER in New York City
gown by Alessandra Rich, shoes by Christian Louboutin
All you mere mortals can bow down to Diane Kruger, March Fabness 2013 champion and all-around fucking fabulous lady. The gown is fabulous, fringe and all, and it makes her look about a thousand feet tall. The shoes are a delight, the belt is great, and best of all, she makes it look so damn easy.
DIANE KRUGER in Los Angeles
blazer by Diane von Furstenberg, purse by Rochas, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I’m not sold on the hat, but the blazer, bag, and shoes are all flawless. I would wear that blazer every single day.
KERRY WASHINGTON in New York City
dress by Prabal Gurung
It’s unusual and interesting. I don’t love the hemline on the sheer part of the skirt, but the rest of the dress is absolutely adorable. The styling is clean, chic, and all-around lovely. I’ve slowly been falling in love with Kerry Washington over the last few months – she just has so much more fun with her wardrobe than almost anyone else on the red carpet.
KERRY WASHINGTON in Los Angeles
dress by Narciso Rodriguez, purse by Vince Camuto, shoes by Christian Louboutin
I wish the skirt weren’t so long, because a mullet gown is really never a thing anyone should do ever, but I like literally everything else about this look. The front of the dress has such an easygoing, fabulous quality to it, and that purse is downright awesome.
EMMA WATSON in New York City
You are flawless and I would kill you for that blazer and those shoes.
VICTORIA BECKHAM in New York City
top, skirt, sunglasses, and purse by Victoria Beckham, shoes by Casadei
I almost didn’t recognize Victoria in such a bright color, but she should go this route more often, because it works for her. It’s a simple but gorgeous dress, rendered in fantastic colors.
ZOE SALDANA in Mexico City
jumpsuit by Elie Saab
This would be kind of disco-fabulous in a good way if I could see her shoes. But pants that make you look like you don’t have feet are really not my thing. I don’t mind exposed bras in general, but I’m not sure this one works particularly well.
DAKOTA FANNING in Singapore
dress, purse, and shoes by Chanel
The dress would only be okay on its own, but she styled it that chic little purse and those phenomenal shoes, making the look so much better. But if you’re going to go all-out with your outfit and accessories, your hair and makeup have to at least have something going on, or you look strangely unbalanced.
SARAH JESSICA PARKER in New York City
vintage gown by Alexandra New York, cuffs by Fendi, shoes by Roger Vivier
The gown is pretty beautiful, but I don’t love the seam down the center. I don’t particularly like the shoes or the combination of jewelry – the Wonder Woman cuffs don’t really go with her earrings or rings.
KATY PERRY in New York City
dress by Givenchy, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Unless she is planning on taking flight, I can see absolutely no need for whatever the hell is going on with those sleeves. That being said, I think this is otherwise kind of a cool look.
ANNE HATHAWAY in New York City
dress by Givenchy, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Pour La Victoire
I am still firmly against this hair color on her, and combined with the dress and shoes, she looks way too much like an alien here for my tastes. But if the dress were longer and the sleeves weren’t quite so silly, I’d like this dress on her – I think the color works with her skin beautifully.
CHLOË SEVIGNY in New York City
dress by Christopher Kane
It’s kind of weirdly nautical, but sort of in a good way. And it’s positively shocking from Ms. Sevigny, so I can’t hate it too much.
JENNIFER LOPEZ in New York City
dress by L’Wren Scott, shoes by Casadei
As usual, the dress is a size too small, but I actually like this look. The shoes are definitely fabulous.
KATE BOSWORTH in Los Angeles
dress by Miu Miu, purse and shoes by Prada
You have to give it to Kate – this girl can pose like her life depends on it. Just LOOK at her – she positively exudes attitude. Unfortunately, this strange little dress can’t quite keep up with her, though the shoes would be killer with the right outfit.
KATE BOSWORTH in New York City
dress by Dion Lee, shoes by Christian Louboutin
Listen, I’m all for a little sideboob when the occasion calls for it, but come ON, lady. That shit is ridiculous.
ALEXA CHUNG in New York City
dress by Christian Dior, purse by Lulu Guinness
Don’t regress to awkward hipster land, Alexa! I thought we’d finally gotten past all that!
MIRANDA KERR in New York City
top by Saint Laurent, skirt by Dolce & Gabbana
It’s way too many different shades of black, and none of the pieces are particularly memorable except for the purse.
JESSICA ALBA in New York City
jacket by Burberry, dress by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Sigerson Morrison
Separately, all these pieces are really fun and most of them are really beautiful (I’m not sold on the shoes). Together, she looks like a freaking circus clown. It’s just way, WAY too many bright, contrasting colors – every single piece is competing with another for attention.
NINA DOBREV in New York City
dress by Thakoon, shoes by Jimmy Choo
Fire whoever convinced you that this dress doesn’t make your boobs look totally weird. I am sure you have perfectly lovely breasts, Nina; there is no reason they should have to look like these sad little potatoes.
JADA PINKETT SMITH in Los Angeles
suit by Alexander McQueen
She better be going method for some role as a 1970s disco superstar. Because there is absolutely no other reason on earth that anyone should be wearing a peach satin bell-bottomed tuxedo in public.